Kitajiji -6.27

Last night, I dreamed of my classmate G. In the dream, he complained to me that the army assessment was too strict and the pressure was relatively high. I asked him when he would come back next time or something. ...

I have been insomnia recently, and I often can't sleep until after twelve o'clock at night, as if it is always like this in summer. In addition, there are all kinds of strange dreams. Once I had a dream all night, I always woke up dizzy in the morning, as if I had not slept all night, and then I looked groggy all day, with no spirit at all. From small to large, such things happen every year.

In the morning, I went to Beixing Temple near Liuxi Lake. Yesterday, I couldn't find a place on the map. Strangely, in this northern provincial capital with a population of10 million, there are not as many temples as churches. Why are you going to the temple? The more reason is that I have been in a mess recently and I am full of inexplicable fear for the future. I want to find a clean place to be quiet for a while. For all the gods and buddhas, if you are in awe, you will also worship them devoutly, which is a kind of psychological comfort.

I took the subway for about an hour and followed the navigation for about 2 kilometers before I reached my destination. Recently, I will actually exercise as much as possible intentionally or unintentionally, and my diet will be moderate. I hope I can lose weight after this summer.

The location of the temple is relatively secluded, surrounded by large green iron sheets for construction. There is an old man who tells the aunt's fortune near the gate, which seems to be the standard at the entrance of every temple. The gate is locked. If you don't enter, you can enter through the side door, but you have to pay extra for burning incense. Not many people, completely in line with the pure description of Buddhism. There was hardly any sound except a few pilgrims whispering to each other.

After observation, it seems that I am the only one who has been here. Others are either a family in it runs in the family or a mother with a young daughter. China's traditional religious culture still has a great influence on the family, which I personally feel. I didn't burn incense, but I worshipped all the Buddha statues and bodhisattvas and donated some sesame oil money. Buddhists say that everything has a cause and effect. The main reason why we are caught in the current predicament of life is to look for ourselves. Unfortunately, it is easier said than done. ...

When I went back, I passed the sales offices of Country Garden and Phoenix. The hot weather could not stop everyone from buying a house. Even in the economic winter under the epidemic, the impact on the lives of different classes is still very different.

Recently, there are many case discussions about replacing the college entrance examination on Douban, and the content is often suffocating. It's a bit like the discussion about the situation at that time during the epidemic, like a dark cloud, which wraps everyone tightly and is unable to struggle. I don't want to comment too much. If justice still exists, I hope there will be a relatively fair result for everyone in the end.

I'm still watching the documentary "Seven Years of Life" recently, and I saw it in Zhihu a long time ago. Taking seven years as a stage, it is an embarrassing thing to film the growth process of different children, the different stages of life and the changes of different people's situations. Different family backgrounds, different personality characteristics and different life trajectories, some people's fate seems to have been doomed from birth, but some people do break the shackles of fate with their own efforts and achieve different lives. The proportion of personal efforts, family background and growth environment determine a person's life. No one can make it clear, but individuals can make completely different choices and actions. Therefore, we must have hope for the future.

7 years old, 14 years old, 2 1 year old, I can hardly remember what I was like at that time, what stage I was in, and what kind of yearning I had for the future. It is inevitable that I am a little sad. Since I was a child, I often have no clear goals, especially when I take the college entrance examination. Self-righteous, otherwise, in fact, has become no requirements for themselves; Closely related to it is extreme self-distrust, which is probably the root cause of all kinds of failures at that time. For the first time in so many years, I touched such a fundamental thing as if a stone had fallen to the ground.

On this hot summer night, make peace with your past self, and you must become a brand-new self about the future.