How can you tell a fortune without touching your feet?

1. Why do bats often hang upside down?

Because of its gastroptosis.

It takes 6 hours for a train to go from A to B, and now it has been running for 3 hours. Where should the train be now?

On the tracks.

After breakfast, Adi went to the toilet with a big bag. Why is there only half a steamed bread left after he came out?

He forgot to bring toilet paper.

4. Why does everyone say that kittens eat human flesh and don't spit bones?

Because he ate a dough kneading machine.

5. Why? My brother never stops when he meets an intersection by military vehicle.

He used to drive a train.

6. Under what circumstances does one plus one definitely not equal to two?

A kilo of flour and a large glass of water will only equal a piece of dough.

7. Why do vampires never drink juice or vegetable juice?

Afraid of the cross in the juice.

8. Male crabs drink because they are afraid of being scolded by their wives. He went home to wear cologne and rinse his mouth, but before he entered the house, his wife waiting at home found him drunk again. Why?

Because he walked straight back.

9. Abby will take an English exam tomorrow. He heard that the Bodhisattva in Foguang Mountain was responsive. He hurried up the mountain to burn incense and worship Buddha, asking the Bodhisattva to bless him to be admitted tomorrow. As a result, he still failed the English exam the next day. Why?

Because the Bodhisattva can't read English, she can't get through!

10. A man met 10 lions on his way home. What will he become?

Ten piles of lion shit.

1 1. Your girlfriend keeps pestering you for the stars in the sky. What should you do?

Give her a punch and ask her if she wants the moon.

12. Do you want to see the dentist first or have a toothache first?

Toothworm

13. Cosmetics make a woman's face beautiful, but whose face is ugly?

The person who pays.

14. Jing Wong is a polite person, but when someone knocks at the door, he won't invite others in?

He's in the toilet.

15. What is the most painful thing for birds?

Can't ascend to heaven after death

16. Wang Jing went to the store to buy things with 100 yuan. Since 75 yuan, the boss only looked for 5 yuan. Why?

He only gave it to his boss, 80 yuan.

17. What kind of people want to have as many children as possible?

Children's product manufacturer

18. What is the last thing people do before they die?

Take one's last breath

19. How big a ship does it take to transport 5 tons of logs from upstream to downstream?

No boat, drifting

20. A plane full of passengers fell from the sky, but no one was injured. Why?

They are all dead.

2 1. Jing Wong graduated from junior high school and taught himself high school and college courses. What's his education level?

superior

22. What's the difference between the son of a dragon and the son of a dog?

One is a prince and the other is a son.

23. What is the difference between a flea and a lion?

Have you ever seen fleas on a lion?

On 2000 1 month 1 day, everyone was doing a very important thing. Do you remember what it is?

breathe

25. Who knows best how many stars are in the sky?

Heaven/God knows

26. Under what circumstances can two tigers fit in one mountain?

The tiger is in love

27. What does tit-for-tat mean?

Tooth extraction and dental restoration

28. Jing Wong and Wang Jing died in a secret room with only a pool of water and broken glass on the ground. What was the cause of their death?

They are goldfish.

29. What food is produced in the east, west, north and south?

muskmelon

30. Jing Wong was ugly and had no money, but two handsome guys fought for her and died. Why?

Whoever loses will marry her.

3 1. Why do only female mosquitoes suck blood?

It's not inconvenient for male mosquitoes for a few days.

32. What does a coward eat to be courageous?

Extremely bold

33. When is the second child the coolest?

The boss is not here.

34. Why did Guan Gong die so tragically?

Beautiful women (often) have an unhappy life.

35. Which coin with the same score1992 or 1993 is heavier?

More than 93 years of "one"

In the second race of the tortoise and the hare, the hare tried his best, but he still lost. Why?

The destination is at sea.

37. What is the last thing you can see in broad daylight?

film

38. What wobbles, changes from three to five, and then changes from five to five?

fan

A fierce cat ran away when it saw a mouse. Why?

chase

40. Mr. and Mrs. Jing Wong have been married for more than ten years, but they have no children. Why?

ultiplets

4 1. Three people share an umbrella. There is only one umbrella, but no one gets wet. Why?

No rain

42. Jing Wong was twelve years old when he was in the first grade. Why was he only twelve years old in the third grade?

Just every other day.

43. Dogs compete with frogs. Why did the dog win?

No breaststroke

44. Jing Wong took part in the 100-person hula hoop competition, and persisted until the last moment, but was disqualified from the championship. Why?

Too fat, it's stuck.

45. What are the parts of a pen?

Bamboo and wool

46. Why do modern people break their promises more and more?

The appearance of the telephone

47. All my friends who work around Jing Wong have gone to sea. Why doesn't he?

Fear of drowning

48. The cruel king told honest Jing Wong to buy one hundred pigs, but Jing Wong only brought back ninety-nine pigs. Why?

Don't answer! If you strongly demand to know the answer to this question, please leave a message!

49. A horror movie is being shown in the cinema. The audience screamed, but Xiaoying in the cinema laughed. Why?

She is watching a comedy in another cinema.

50. An eagle is flying in the air. Suddenly it rained and the eagle fell. Why?

It covered the rain with its wings, so it fell.

5 1. What method can make people blink for the longest time?

Let that man die unsatisfied.

52. Apart from saving time and effort compared with stairs, what is the biggest advantage of elevators?

In case the wrestling doesn't keep rolling.

53. Why do sugar cans crawl ants?

Because the lid is not covered properly.

The hungry wolf saw a lost lamb on the grassland. He jumped over and was about to have a good meal. The lamb only said a word to him, and the wolf turned obediently. What did the lamb say?

The lamb pointed to a tiger in the grass behind him, rubbed his hands and told the wolf that it … came first!

55. There is a fat man and a thin man walking together. The fat man was suddenly hit by a falling high-voltage line. The fat man died, and the thin man didn't touch the fat man or the wire, but he also died. Why?

Be blown up

56. Why do Japanese people have shorter legs?

Because there are many earthquakes, short legs and stable center of gravity!

57. There was a man wearing a helmet with a fan tied underneath, an electric fan and a kettle in his hand, and skating on his feet.

Shoes, where is he going?

Neurological hospital

58. A train is running at a speed of 40 kilometers per hour. A passenger suddenly opened the door and ran out, but he was not hurt at all. Why?

Because the passengers opened the doors of two cars and ran to another car!

59. What's the difference between tragedy and comedy?

The comedy that no one watched turned into a tragedy.

60. Some people have done good deeds all their lives, but they are still electrocuted by lightning. How did it happen?

An accident.

6 1. Does the cat have fleas?

Cats only have kittens.

62. Some people say that penguins are hard to see in the Arctic. Why?

There are no penguins in the Arctic.

63. What's with the toilet in the hall?

Corrupt officials

64. Who is keen to spend the money saved by the living on the dead?

Filial son and grandson.

65. When can people feel that the earth keeps spinning?

When you're drunk.

66. Do you know where you can only go and never come back?

Underground world.

67. What items are stored in the warehouse that was not damaged by the fire?

The vault.

68. What is a person's lifelong event?

Go to hell.

69. Why does Xiao Cong like reading in a room without lights?

During the day

70. Do you know any shops that can't recruit "salesmen"?

Shroud store

Why doesn't Xinhua Bookstore sell books?

Run to the sea.

72. What have I borrowed that I don't need to return?

Light.

73. People told Adan that her clothes were unbuttoned, and she didn't care at all. Why?

It's not buckled.

74. Three people were walking in the street with umbrellas, and none of them got wet. Why?

It didn't rain.

75. Why can Lao Zhang hum a song while brushing his teeth?

Brush false teeth.

76. How many bugs are the most terrible to eat when eating apples?

Semi-lattice.

77. What will increase by half after handstand?

6。

78. What belongs to you, but others often use it?

Name.

79. Where can I always find happiness?

A dictionary.

80. What is the biggest difficulty in grinding an iron pestle into a needle?

pinhole

8 1 what is the higher the price, the easier it is to clinch a deal?

fragment

82. What is a bigger ball?

Cactus.

83. My father is filling the thermos bottle and my mother is washing clothes. What does Xiao Cong want to do at this time?

Pee.

84. Do you use chopsticks or spoons when eating?

Mouth.

85. What keeps looking up but doesn't fall down?

Age.

86. What gets stolen the more you wash it?

clay figurine

87. Xiao Cong fried a pot of red beans and soybeans, and then poured the beans on the plate. How to make red beans and soybeans occupy one side of the plate?

One for each person.

88. What "electricity" doesn't supply power to people?

Congratulations.

89. What is the closest animal to human beings?

Lice.

90. There are several holes in the new sweater. Why?

How to wear it without holes?

9 1. What can walk day and night without feet?

clocks and watches

92. What runs around the house with only one foot?

Broom.

93. What dances as soon as it dies?

Falling leaves.

What can carry a hundred bales of hay but not a grain of sand?

River water.

95. What can make a sound without mouth, run around the world without feet, hurt people without hands, and pass before it appears?

The wind.

96. What is white in the mouth and yellow in the soil?

rice.

97. What has countless leaves but no roots?

Books.

98. What runs day and night and never leaves its bed?

River water.

99. What can only be used if it is broken?

Eggs.

100. What broke and everyone applauded?

World record.

10 1. What can be destroyed without touching it?

Promise.

102. Why does the wedding ring symbolize eternity?

It has no head and no tail.

103. What is the least sociable thing in the world?

Milestones. They never stand together.

104. What question do you have to answer "Yes"?

"How do you spell y-e-s?"

105. Pandas are produced in China and koalas are produced in Australia. Where are the wolves?

Motorcycle shops in China.

106. Why do some people have three hands?

pickpocket

107. The sharper the knife, the less it will hurt others, but it will make you miserable?

Ice skates

108. Why are there typhoons in summer?

Because it hibernates in winter.

Why did dinosaurs become extinct?

Because it is called "the dragon afraid of extinction"

1 10. Why is the giraffe's neck so long?

Because its head is so high, it needs to be connected with such a long neck.

1 1 1. Which part of the earth's surface will never shine on the sun?

Therefore, because the earth cannot shine, it must not shine on the sun.

1 12. Why don't police bring umbrellas in rainy days?

I'm not afraid of bullets. Am I still afraid of getting wet?

1 13. Two owls are chatting. One of them claims that it can go out during the day without wearing sunglasses. Why?

Because it is a blind owl.

1 14. A bird accidentally flew into Kiss disco and suddenly fell down. What happened?

The volume was so loud that I covered my ears with my wings and fell off.

1 15. Why does a paper plane cost 100 million yuan?

Because that paper is a check for 100 million yuan.

1 16. A recruit: "Report to the monitor! There is a fly in my soybean milk. " Why doesn't the monitor promise anything?

tell him

Don't worry, it's okay, okay?

Because spiders in steamed bread will drive away flies.

1 17. Someone has hypertension. The doctor said he would be fine as long as he didn't eat too salty, but he decided to move. Why?

Because his family lives in the salt water area.

1 18. Ben's report card will not be distributed until Monday. Why did my father beat me on Sunday night because of my grades?

His father is a teacher.

An egret sleeps standing up. How many feet are standing on the ground?

One, (a line of egrets goes to heaven)

120. The bear went to the toilet at the best time of the movie. Why?

He didn't go to the movies at all

12 1. Why is it still hot?

Because he blows the electric fan with his mouth.

122. Mao Mao likes to doze off in class. How can we keep him from dozing off?

Dissolve the class

123. Why did the whole class laugh at Xiao Qiang's stupidity the day before, but everyone was not young the next day?

Because he bought a refined version of the brain teaser.

124. Wangzai is waiting for the bus under the license plate. The bus passed several times in succession, but he stood still and didn't get on. Why?

Because he stood on a hundred-dollar bill, he had to wait for no one around to pick it up again.

125. What should I do if my life is not smooth?

Iron it!

126. The couple are standard beautiful and handsome guys. Why do they have ugly dolls?

Both couples have had plastic surgery.

127. What is more irritating than the wife's refusal to go to the kitchen after marriage?

Wife can't cook.

128. An ugly girl went for plastic surgery. Why did the doctor say she didn't need plastic surgery at all?

What she needs is rebirth!

129. Ms. Wang has given birth to two children. Why does everyone say that she doesn't want a mother of two children?

Is the mother of three children.

130. Xiaozhen has made no achievements in her career, but why does she also have the nickname of a strong woman?

She is often "forced"

13 1. Why is Rodin's sculpture The Thinker naked?

Because he is thinking about which one to wear!

132. Babies always cry at birth. Why?

Because the nurse who delivered the baby was beautiful, and I was too young!

133. Lao Zhao is a man who follows the rules. Why do you call him "old man" at the same time?

If you don't retire, no one else will be promoted.

134. What kind of woman should a playboy deserve?

A woman with flowers.

135. Dad repeatedly warned A Niu, who is still in high school, never to set foot in a beef farm, because there are things he shouldn't see, but A Niu secretly read them. What will he see that he shouldn't? Don't get it wrong! )

His father

136.6438+02 What is the most meaningful thing that the rats did?

Bullying a cat in distress

137. Why do richer people get bigger coffins when they die?

It is easy to "turn over"

138. Adults are older, children are younger, foreigners have more hair, and China people have less hair.

What is soft and hard only for the unit?

hand

139. Hua asked for a long time to sign, but he refused to sign. Why?

Because Hua asked him to sign the spouse column of his ID card!

140. If there is only the last man left on the earth, he is writing a suicide note at his desk and suddenly there is a knock at the door. It is not an alien, an animal or a sandstorm. Guess who is knocking at the door?

It's a woman

14 1. I touch the train with my body many times every day, but it doesn't hurt at all. What happened?

He is in the carriage of the train.

142. On the bus, an old gentleman stood next to Xiaoming, and there were no empty seats around him. Xiao Ming is always polite, but this time he didn't give up his seat at all. Why?

Xiaoming is a driver.

143. A dog fell from a plane at an altitude of 10,000 meters, but it didn't die. What happened here?

The dog fell on the plane floor.

144. Pangpang and Liangliang are both third-grade students. They usually walk as fast, but Pangpang always arrives at school 15 minutes later than Liangliang, and Pangpang doesn't stay or play. What happened?

They are not in the same school.

145. Why is it better to have no money than to have money?

Happy ah ~ (the so-called poor happy also! )

146. What's better about short people than tall people?

I'm not afraid of pressure when the sky falls ~ (hee hee ~ there's a tall man standing on it)

147. Who runs fastest in the Three Kingdoms?

Cao Cao ~ (As the saying goes: Speak of the devil)

148. Why can't tigers compete with cats?

Catch mice ~ (Who has ever seen a tiger catch mice? )

149. The thermometer has dropped. What does this mean?

The nail on the wall is not nailed firmly ~ (it won't hang, of course it fell-)

150. How can I keep a stone from sinking into the sea?

Put it on the boat ~ (hehe ~ there are many answers to this question. This problem is just irrigation)

15 1. What do risk-averse people who dare to "throw themselves into the river" do?

Bungee jumper ~ (If he dares to "commit suicide", why is there a rope tied to his leg? )

152. Why are the tickets for two exhibitions that are not much different more expensive?

If something is rare, its price is high-the rarer the better.

153. Someone bought a bottle of soda and opened the lid and found that there was no bubble at all. He couldn't help asking the salesman loudly, "Why is the soda flat?" The clerk said yes, so where is it?

If you drink it, the gas in your stomach will not come up.

154. Someone went to the bathhouse to take a bath. The waiter looked down on him for the first time, threw him an old towel and left. He left a gold coin after taking a bath, so when he went there for the second time, the waiter paid him attention, but after washing, he only

Take out a copper coin. Why?

This time I gave the money for the last bath, and last time I gave the money for this bath.

155. What kind of white rice can eat three flavors?

Raw rice, raw, cooked and unripe.

156. Where is the birthplace of the Yellow River?

The sky, doesn't it say how the water of the Yellow River moves out of heaven?

157. A pickpocket gave the priest 50 pounds to bless him. What does the priest say to get the money without violating his conscience?

The priest said, "If God punishes a thief, I hope God will realize his will through you."

158. Why do people grab things with five fingers when they are hungry?

Because one hand has only five fingers.

159. The husband is the head of the family. Why does he listen to his wife?

Because the wife is the neck.

160. Who needs to wait on other people's wives besides their own?

Because he has a daughter.

16 1. Mary broke a plate. What did mom say in the past that she found the plate broken again?

Mom asked, how did you break it?

162. How to do homework to ensure that there is only one mistake?

Don't do your homework. This is your only mistake.

163. Why can't Jesus' father be seen in the picture of the Virgin Mary hugging young Jesus?

He was painting this picture at that time.

164. When a person went out on business, he wrote to his wife and told her why she asked him to go home immediately after reading the letter.

His wife had to let him read the letter by himself because of the scrawl.

165. Jack put his wallet under his pillow this morning. Although he has an honest servant, why is he still worried?

Because servants will give their wallets to their wives.

166. The husband said that he was not afraid to face death for his wife, but why did the husband leave his wife as soon as the big black bear appeared?

Because it is not a dead bear (dead = dead bear)

167. What are the advantages of buying an expensive ring for my wife?

Gloves can save money, hehe, it seems that it is not worth the loss ~

168. What egg is alive when it is born?

fool

169. Xiao Li spat everywhere and was fined 50 cents. He took out a dollar, and the police had no money to change it. What should I do?

Take another spit.

170.1There were six wars in Spain in the 5th century. What were those six wars?

1, 2,3,4,5,6 times

17 1. How many sides does the box have?

Two sides: inside and outside.

172. The fortune teller gave Xiao Li an envelope and told him that he couldn't open it without something happy. On the day of Xiao Li's blind date, he opened the envelope and was surprised: "What a coincidence!" What's written in the envelope?

"You have fun today!"

173. What bird likes to dress up?

wood thrush

174. Which sea is the widest in the world?

Cihai

175. If there was a fire in the museum and only one work of art could be saved, which one would you choose?

The one closest to the door

176. Who is the most polite to the guests?

hunchback

177. How many apples are there if you eat one of three apples?

Three (two outside and one inside)

1.78 million tons ship leaves port, where to go?

Shanghai

179. There is a banner slogan at the door of the enterprise: "It depends on everyone's love". What kind of enterprise is this?

Maozi factory

180. Where can I teach the secret of obesity?

Chef training class

18 1. When you were playing cards, your wife asked you to go home. You said, "The car broke down and you can't go back!" My wife bought it, why?

Because it was said on the phone.

182. Under what circumstances, who is really worth it?

The fruit shop owner offended all the customers.

183. After handing in the pledge of quitting smoking, she still smokes every day, but her wife is helpless. Why?

The guarantee says: "Quit smoking tomorrow"

184. The baby is not ill, but the mother clamors to take him to the hospital. Why?

The baby is coming.

185. Which tooth grows the latest?

false tooth

186. A triangle has three angles and a hexagon has six angles. How many angles does a circle have?

A circle has ten angles.

187. What is the "nominal" unit?

air force

188. What is the first impression of the mute?

deep

189. except for nails and hair, Chang has never been cut. Can you believe it? Why?

Impossible, because his umbilical cord was cut at birth.

190. What ladder can only go down but not up?

Slide (for children)

19 1. How can I get double rest?

I dreamed that I was sleeping.

192 why are Buddhists concentrated in the north?

Namo amit Ba

193 who is afraid of the polite expression "take care"?

Photo studio owner

194. What do you really want to know but regret when you see it?

truth

195. What music do soldiers like best?

The sound of the horn

196. What happens when people are beheaded?

Get shorter.

I didn't see your topic clearly.

Here's one:

1. How to put an elephant into a refrigerator that can hold anything?

(three steps)

Answer: 1. Open the refrigerator. Enlarge the image 3. Close the refrigerator.

2. The elephant wants to swim with the seller. Who won?

A: Deer, because the elephant is in the refrigerator.

3, how to put the deer in the refrigerator (four steps)

Answer: 1. Open the refrigerator. Kill the elephant 3. Release deer 4. Close the refrigerator.