Funny and choking poison chicken soup

1. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, nor between love and ignorance, but when we are sitting at 1, you are playing with your mobile phone.

2. How to explain your obesity gracefully? There are many things to remember, and it is not good to lose weight.

If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before your death.

It is suitable for sleeping at home in rainy days and going out for a walk in sunny days. For a long time, there was not a day suitable for work.

I signed up for the world lying contest, and as soon as I got on stage, the host said, "Wow, you are so beautiful!" " I replied shyly: "not beautiful, but looks average!" " As soon as the voice just fell, the organizer sent me the championship trophy!

6. A woman has the pain of her father when she was a child, her husband when she grows up, and her son when she is old. Men listen to their mothers when they are young, their wives when they grow up, and their daughters when they grow old.

7. In fact, Tang Priest is also quite brilliant. When you meet a benefactor who looks different, you meet a bodhisattva who looks good.

8. Why does grandma like her granddaughter's wife but not her daughter-in-law? Because the enemy of my enemy is my friend!

I went to practice driving yesterday. The coach told me that there was a puddle in front of me. I don't know what happened to my brain at that time. I actually lifted my feet with my hands on the steering wheel.

10. When you grow up, you master a special skill and don't learn other skills. You can sleep without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.

1 1. When I broke up with my ex, I was fine during the day, but I couldn't restrain my inner emotions at night, hiding under the quilt and laughing secretly.

12. Going to school means watching different flavors of sleeping pills walk around in front of your eyes every day. There is always one that can make you sleep soundly!

13. I sincerely advise you not to eat genetically modified food. My child's paternity test gene does not match mine, because the child has changed his gene after eating genetically modified food, which my wife told me!

14. When shopping in the mall, the shopping guide chased and asked, "Hello, what can I do for you?" To tell the truth, I just want him to pay for me!

15. I am in a regular state every day. I don't wake up in the morning, I don't wake up in the afternoon, I beat chicken blood in the evening, and I regret my intestines in the middle of the night.

16. If you like a girl, you should study hard, find a good job and earn a lot of money. When she gets married, you have to pay more.

17. Many people say that if you can't tell fortune, you will get thinner and thinner. However, sometimes we have to believe. The fortune teller used to say that I was 27 years old and wore a yellow robe. Every day, there is food and transportation. It's so accurate to deliver takeout in the US Mission now!

18. Others can play online games, and you will only ask your teammates questions when playing games.