Degang Guo Fortune Telling _ Degang Guo Fortune Telling.

Who knows which of the following crosstalk Degang Guo said?

The real author of this sentence in the cross talk "I am a triad society" is the late ci writers Lin Zhenqiang, who quoted this sentence in his column "Alone in Bed".

Guo: Thank you, friends. I'm really glad to meet you. Everyone knows this actor, donkey money. In the phonetic world

Yu: No, no, no, Yu Qian.

Guo: Yu.

Y: Oh, by the way,

Guo: sloppy fish.

Y: and a donkey. Mahu also looks at donkeys.

Guo: Which one?

Yu: Yu, do it.

Guo: What are you doing?

Y: No donkeys. This is the head.

Guo: Yu Qian, Yu teacher, the audience loved it. Walking into the street, the crosstalk guy said, hey, some people who can't name their names, surnamed Yu, Yu, stopped.

Y: I was really obedient, so I stopped.

Guo: The audience likes it.

Y: it's not called an animal

Guo: I like you too. I like all the art on the stage.

Y: Ah, you like art.

Guo: Of course, you have done a lot of things professionally. It doesn't have to be like this. Can't stop. I like it.

Y: It's a hobby.

Guo: Flute,

Y: Do you like flutes?

Guo: I play the flute. Dangdang Dangdang Dangdang Dangdang Dangdang (BBK music),

Y: Is it a flute tune?

Guo: I like this one. I told my wife that I buried this flute with me the day I died.

Y: Do you like it so much?

Guo: I like this one.

Y: it's over.

Guo: Suona, Dangdang Dangdang Dangdang (music), I told my wife that the day I died, they were buried together: Ah.

Guo: Erhu,

Y: It's all folk music.

Guo: Dangdang Dangdang Dangdang Dangdang (music), I will be buried when I die. I looked back and saw the bell, jingle, jingle.

Y: How noisy.

Guo: My daughter-in-law says the country is easy to dig.

Y: ring the bell.

Guo: Sometimes I especially admire others' bands. A small flute and a small musical instrument can make everyone happy. Oh, that's amazing. Man struggles upwards, but water flows downwards. Everyone wants to make achievements and bring joy to society.

Y: make a contribution.

Guo: Benefit the people. Why can't I?

Y: It can also benefit the people.

Guo: All walks of life are beneficial to the people. Walking in the street, I will stand here. He is a well-educated man, woman and child. No matter what industry, his work is beneficial to this society. Even a rickshaw puller will come to the suburbs and sweat profusely. He will drive a cart with 1000 kilograms of cabbage, and the animals will run with big whips. How tired he is! Dad, drive! Whoa whoa whoa, he's tired, but he's happy. You look bored. What happened? Drive! Whoa whoa whoa.

Y: Just catching a bus.

Guo: How can we eat without him?

Y: no one sent it.

Guo: I admire it at first sight. I just want to praise you. Who is my son?

Y: he said?

Guo: Wowowo. Alas, it brings happiness to the people.

Y: Who brings happiness to whom?

Guo: At least I am much happier. Who is my grandson? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, honey! Oh!

Y: This one has no long memory.

Guo: Who is the tortoise?

Y: What did he say?

Guo: Come here with a whip.

Y: I want to slap you.

Guo: He is unkind.

Y: It's not that anyone is unkind.

Guo: But I am already very happy.

Y: This is an advantage.

Guo: I'm so happy that my teeth are almost falling out.

Y: What kind of humanity?

Guo: I'm so beautiful. Let's celebrate

Y: Is this still a celebration?

Guo: Buy two Jin of crabs. Autumn is crisp, and it is the time when crabs are fat. Give me two Jin, choose the big one. Carry these 50 crabs home.

Y: About 50 crabs per catty? How big is the crab?

Guo: (gesturing) It's so big.

Y: Aren't you afraid to spend five cents?

Guo: Do you see the five points of the umbilical cord?

Y: You can still see the umbilical cord?

Guo: A chess piece is a crab.

Y: Where is the chess crab?

Guo: Go to crabs.

Y: whatever you say.

Guo: Take it home and steam it in the pot, sit with my father, and make it public after eating. You can eat four.

Y: huh? Hungry vomiting blood.

Guo: The old man is also happy (drinking crabs).

Y: Does your father pack crabs or mung beans? Is there this action when eating crabs?

Guo: Careful, slow work leads to fine work.

Y: How to produce meat carelessly?

Guo: The old man is annoyed while eating. You can do it right if your mouth is broken. You said you didn't even have a straight shape all day. Look at people, drivers who buy big buildings, you have nothing. The ground under your feet is shaking, the water around you is flowing, your hands are shaking and tears are flowing.

Y: Your father's surname is Cui?

Guo: Your father's name is Jian! Damn it, my father said I was.

Y: Say you don't sing the lyrics.

Guo: (turning to Yu Qian) Be obedient. Dad said you did it for your own good.

Y: You go and say it!

Guo: (turning outward) I said, Dad, don't be angry.

Y: Oh, turn around at this time!

Guo: Very vulgar. I said, what are you talking about? I don't get along well? Don't talk nonsense, don't I know you? You get drunk when you touch wine, and you get lost when you see the world. When you get rich, you will begin to forget the words. You only have one advantage. As soon as you see your aunt, you will become digital. Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat. Just don't listen! Little bastard! I said, dad, don't say that. Don't say children are rabbits. Genetically, it's not good for parents. Father was anxious and rolled his arms and sleeves. I want to fight you!

Y: Is it mother rabbit or not?

Guo: Hey?

Y: Has anyone ever said this word in combat?

Guo: My father is really humorous.

Y: Are you kidding at this time?

Guo: Do you play Xue?

Your father is too lazy.

Guo: Huh? My dad didn't slip away? You haven't met my uncle.

Y: I didn't slip away.

Guo: Not only did my uncle not slip away, but his popularity was not good. Killed and buried in Tiananmen Square 15 years, no one asked. He has been out of shape all day, fighting and going out for peace. Chop people with a kitchen knife, steal apples, do whatever it takes.

Y: the whole rascal.

Guo: I advised him not to do this, uncle. Who cares? Do you care about me? I'm on my way, and I'll give you peace in the future. I have lived my whole life, and I am so happy. Do you know that?/You know what? Don't always look up, just look down.

Y: how to look down?

Guo: If you look down, you will live happily. I thought about it, and what he said makes sense. This is how people live. You always look up, and you can't get better. Look down. Did you lose money in business? Someone will jump off a building. You are happier than him. Right?

Y: I didn't jump.

Guo: You hate having a daughter here, and whether there are any children.

Y: Oh, right, right, right.

Guo: You are unemployed here, and there are prostitutes there.

Y: There is no comparability, you know?

Guo: Your daughter-in-law doesn't want you, and she doesn't want me.

Y: go! What does it have to do with you?

Guo: I think it makes sense, but I want to learn from you, uncle. I can't stand this shortcoming. Don't believe that, son. People always want to let ghosts and gods know when they do good things, but they always feel that ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We're too embarrassed for ghosts. Have fun and do what you have to do. I think it makes sense. Now let's take a look. I'd say it's hard to be president in my life.

Y: Don't worry, it's impossible.

Guo: I think so too. Then I might as well go another way with my uncle.

Y: which way?

Guo: Look, you have to run on me and say. I can't say I'm afraid they'll find out and arrest me. (loudly: I'm from the underworld. ) I can't say.

Why didn't you tell me? You shouted it out.

Guo: Do you know our group (1) knits?

Y: Also knit (1)?

Guo: Have you seen the movie Young and Dangerous? Have you seen it? Yes, yes, we are together. Does the Hong Kong Red Star Society know? I want the red star. But we are not the headquarters, we are from the branch office. I'm from Niulanshan.

Y: Erguotou, two bottles of Erguotou.

Guo: Our group (1) knits. You need me if you need anything in the future.

Y: What can I do for you?

Guo: Underworld. Look how black I'm dressed.

Y: I am black, too.

Guo: I took a picture of you.

Y: There are not so many objections.

Guo: You have to beg me for something.

Y: What can I ask you?

Guo: Is everything all right? How is your family? Let me give you an example. Hey, what's going on at home? Sister-in-law, sister-in-law is not feeling well. Your wife has prostate problems. Just like Uncle Wang's.

Y: Where is Uncle Wang?

Guo: It can't be solved.

Y: No, women don't have this disease.

Guo: No? Your leg is broken, isn't it? Your leg is broken. The doctor will connect you. It's the other way around. The two of them bumped their knees and rushed back. Walking into the street, alas, (gesturing for the dog to run)

Y: What about the dog? You're a dog after you hit your knee, okay?

Guo: It's because of medical treatment.

Y: It's called an accident.

Guo: I'll help you settle it. I will ask the doctor to change the glass in his house every day.

Y: break the glass?

Guo: It's ok to throw shit. But that's an extra charge,

Y: why?

Guo: Sure, think about it. Grasping bricks and dung feels different.

Y: Oh, your underworld is really dirty. Let me tell you something.

Guo: Let's talk it over. We are all cultured people. It's not that you can handle five people and six people as soon as you come up. No, when I first started this business, people looked down on me.

Y: Any line is the same.

Guo: He bullied me. Here comes a pair of faces, pa ~

Y: It's just a mouth?

Guo: With a big mouth, everyone is tattooed and shirtless. These two hairtail fish.

Y: Look carefully, these two dragons are playing with pearls.

Guo: I also want to know. I dare not talk back when I am beaten. People came in before me. (Burying his face) Why did you hit me? Why don't you wear a hat? Do you think this is reasonable?

Y: that's all right.

K: That's all right. You must obey the rules of this industry. Wear a hat the next day.

Y: that will do.

Guo: You have to walk with a face, pa ~

Y: still playing?

Guo: Who told you to wear a hat? Reasoning from where? I have to find my uncle. He is an elder in this field. Give me advice and always bully me. Tell me about him. I walked to my uncle's door and was talking to him when I heard it. I hit him. What happened? My uncle said it was wrong. You hit people for a reason. What do you mean, wearing a hat and not wearing a hat? You must convince him. Do you know that?/You know what? For example, you can tell him face to face, go and find me a big girl, and he will find you one. If you are fat, you can scold him. Why not find a thin one? Pa ~ find a thin one. Why not find a fat one? Bang ~ go! Find me a jacket. If you want to find a suit, hit him. Pa ~ why don't you find a uniform? Found the uniform. Pa ~ why don't you find a suit?

Y: there's nothing to find.

Guo: once I heard it, I couldn't get in, and my uncle didn't transfer me. The next day, I met my face Come here! What are you doing? What? Find me a big girl! Find a fat one and a thin one?

Y: Hey, it's blocked at both ends.

Guo: He was stupefied. Huh? Find me a skirt! Suit or uniform? Oh! Pa ~ why don't you wear a hat?

Y: Well, I can hit you anyway.

Guo: I went to see my uncle. Can I quit? I quit. Your work is so unreasonable. Who would have thought it would come back? My uncle advised me: Never mind, take your time. You know, this is to exercise your psychological quality. Does it hurt to hit you? It hurts, practice! Practice fighting, practice fighting, and you will be independent in the future. I'll teach you. Learn machetes first.

Y: practice the knife first?

Guo: Chop people. I said no, practice. (waving his right arm) Especially this arm, you can't do it without strength. This arm should be strong, practice, wave, hold a knife and chop. Usually this hand holds it and this hand separates it. You said there was a man here, and then you cut him with a knife. Don't do this when you start practicing. You are holding a noodle. Then you practice with a knife.

Y: Do you put a pot in front when you practice?

Guo: (nodding while thinking) Yes.

Y: huh? That's Daoxiao Noodles, okay? Not black.

Guo: Practice. I practice this in my uncle's unit during the day, and I practice it with him. Practice knives during the day and palms at night. How to practice the palm? My uncle has a practice room, but I can't see it. There is smoke everywhere. The people who were beaten were all lying down, naked, and my uncle wrapped his hands in a towel for fear of hurting people. (rubbing his back) Haha, the person who was beaten shouted, "Oh, man, haha!"

Y: In your job, you shave during the day and take a bath at night.

Guo: Practice!

Y: What do you practice?

Guo: I'm still practicing running. What if the police chase you? Run, get up at four in the morning, and go out to practice flying skills. As soon as I came out, the police came. Hey, call me. I am not lost in my heart. There is no such thing. Although I know I'm a gangster, he doesn't know.

Y: I just found out myself.

Guo: Why? Is morning exercise not allowed? Xu, go back and put on your pants.

Y: Nothing is naked.

Guo: It's getting more and more fierce.

Y: You are so lucky.

Guo: Run, run home, run Kunming Lake. Alas, when can I wade across like the ancients?

That's flying skill. . . . . I will do it. Look at this. Sigh at the water. There are experts, son. Would you like to learn? I'll teach you, go back to practice, tie sandbags on your legs, and run every day. The sandbags are getting heavier every day. You can play here for three months without any problems. You have achieved your flying skills. Master, I thank you! Go back and get sandbags, run every day, sandbags get heavier every day, and finally untie this body as light as a swallow. When I came to Kunming Lake, I practiced for three months, standing here steaming past, with no water on me.

Y: good kung fu!

Guo: It's frozen in winter.

Y: It's over, too, you know?

K: That's good.

Y: anything will do. That's it?

Guo: I succeeded in this battle. I am very good at this game. Several younger brothers followed me.

Do you have any brothers?

Guo: There is a child over there, 14, who doesn't go to school. He has to stay with me. All right, come on, son. He's developing and promising. People go down and water flows down.

Y: all down?

Guo: There is also a laid-off worker on crutches. I want to join you. Very good! Come with me, come with me, you are my bodyguard.

Y: Are you disabled?

Guo: Another buddy, polio, followed me in a wheelchair.

Y: underworld? Welfare home? This is not.

Guo: (Guo Chong is peeling noodles) I'll tell you when I cut you to death.

Guo: I'll just take these three around, have fun, celebrate, eat, drink and have fun! Our group (1) established knitting calculation. Come on, drink half a bottle of beer and we'll get drunk!

Y: the amount of alcohol is too small.

Guo: Come on, come on. Well, let's have a good dinner and celebrate. It's confirmed. Come on, have a bowl of Lamian Noodles. A full meal, this stomach is like Madian at 5: 30 in the afternoon. I'm so tired and happy. When I left, hey, where's my cell phone? Oh, I'm a gangster. Someone stole me? Make a phone call. Hey, it's through. Generally, people who steal mobile phones are afraid to turn them on, so they turn them off after stealing. He drives my car. Hey, did you take my cell phone? Ah, I got it. Oh, how dare you talk to me like that? What are you following? You come to Qinghe for 40 minutes. I'm afraid of you. I have a team. Shake the car, come on, get on crutches, you, put me on your bike, go, go to Qingheping! The child pushed me and sat behind him with his arms around his waist, followed by crutches and wheelchairs.

Y: The underworld is terrible!

Guo: I am exhausted from going to Qinghe. Where are you? We are in Qinghe. Just arrived? See you at the Drum Tower in an hour and a half! (Put down the phone) I'm going to kill you and me! Pedal, pull the car, shake the wheelchair, shake the wheelchair halfway, which means, can I quit? My hand is broken. I'm not going. Chop you to death!

Y: ok!

Guo: It's called the Drum Tower. Where are you? Here we are. How did you get here? See you at the front door in 50 minutes! Let's go, come on, come on, pedal, and slip away on crutches. Just the two of us, kicking the front door and making phone calls. Where are you? How did you get here so soon? See you at Caihuying in 20 minutes! The baby is coming down, go by yourself! I can't take it anymore.

Y: You have all the cars.

Guo: I'll wait for you at Caihuying and kill you today! I'll chop you to death, and I'll rub you to death! Dare to steal my mobile phone! I'm watching. Come to a bus. As soon as the door opened, the driver got off. Next time you take a bus, be on your guard. You left your mobile phone on the bus.

Y: Oh, it's wrong for these three people to quit.

Guo: I didn't understand until he left. I carry 8 19 everywhere!

Y: hi! You know this trip.

Guo: Hey, I'm exhausted. My younger brothers don't follow me anymore. I'm the same alone.

Y: Did you make it yourself?

Guo: I have this ability. What am I afraid of? At least the street at the door is mine! I charge protection money!

Why are you responsible for collecting protection money?

Guo: You just pushed the door and came in. How about paying the monthly protection fee? Get out! Where do you think this is? Police station!

Y: It's good to let you out.

Guo: You have a cold sweat. Diagonally opposite the seafood city,

Y: This is business.

Guo: Seven-story seafood city, rich, mine! I pushed the door and went in, ho! The aquarium is full of crabs. Hey hey hey, crab! Hey, hey, lobster! Hey hey abalone!

Y: The underworld has never seen anything.

Guo: Four security guards helped me out.

Y: that's great.

Guo: In the end, if they hadn't pushed me, I really thought it was mixed up. I thought about it. Who am I? I'm here for protection. Come back again. Where is the manager? Where is your boss? Shout it out!

Y: Here comes the strength.

Guo: Here comes the boss. Yo, who are you? Gangdom, protection money is coming. Oh, hello, please take care in the future! That's not important. I can't come for nothing today. I have to eat you. What do you like to eat? I like food, you have nothing else, I just like eating this shell. Okay, here, take a melon seed.

Y: Go to the seafood city to rub melon seeds?

Guo: (eating melon seeds) I hate walking.

Y: really? Are you shameless?

Guo: I'll find you later!

Y: Who sent you?

Guo: Hum! I'm not going. I'm not going either! I'll go over there. There is another one over there. What's it called? Disco A disco. Open at night. I went. Go to the door. I'm here to collect protection money. Oh, buy a ticket over there. Let's go. I'm from the underworld. Buy a ticket! Wait for me! Come back after buying the ticket: (holding the ticket) Do you dare not let me in? Are you afraid to let me in?

Y: Nonsense, who will stop you if you have a ticket?

Guo: I scared you to death! Step in and sit here, music and drums, my heart is pounding, help, it's so scary. Help! The security guard will come and hold his nose and open his mouth to give me the results quickly. You're the only one with a face? Sent it home for me. As soon as I thought I couldn't live without my family, I made them a banner that said "People's Guardian" and gave it to them.

Y: Oh, it's a disgrace to the underworld.

Guo: You have something to tell me here in the future.

Y: Why did I mention you? Mention you?

Guo: OK. I went to the bar to collect protection money. Sit here and have a drink! Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock.

Y: There are discounts every day.

Guo: Who told you that? Who told you that? Bullying people, I belong to the underworld. (Continue to drink) Ouch, I drank too much. I had to go to the toilet and take out a piece of paper, which read: I belong to the underworld, and I spit in it. Put it on my cup.

Y: afraid of being stolen.

Guo: I went to the toilet. When I came back, no one dared to move. I am still there (drinking). (reading the note): I'm not a gangster, I threw up. (Vomiting) I thought and thought.

Y: How dare you?

Guo: (vomiting again) That's disgusting!

Y: that's disgusting. I feel sick for you.

Guo: Have you been drinking?

Y: no!

Guo: I just need to read the article first. I forgot about it. I'll drink first

Y: You are too confident.

Guo: I thought and thought after I came back. Why are they not afraid of me? No tattoos.

Y: That's it?

Guo: People are full of dragons. Should I poke it? Does it hurt?

Y: of course it hurts.

Guo: I won't be so stupid.

Y: you?

Guo: The one with the child.

Y: post a picture?

Guo: I want the big one. Stick it all over your body, not blue, but all blue. It is so boring. Give me the red one. Stick a red dragon. My back is all sticky. Stick it on and put on a coat. Alas, Beijingers are not easy to cheat. Let me go to the station.

Y: the train station?

Guo: There are many foreigners in the railway station. I have to scare outsiders. When I went to this station, the villagers waiting for the bus were frightened as soon as I untied them. Oh, the underworld! I just said it was raining. The gang all retreated under the eaves.

Y: shelter from the rain.

Guo: I'll go there. Excuse me, excuse me. I'm afraid of rain. I have no identity. Standing in the rain, too For more than 40 minutes, the rain stopped. I have flowers here. Take out all the money! I charge protection money!

Y: I still need money.

Guo: Look at me, fellow villagers. You are bleeding. Let's go! I'm from the underworld, and I still have it with me. Take off your clothes and look back! Look back! I'm a gangster! The villagers are very happy. Have you ever seen a gangster with a crayon tattoo?

Y: hi!

Guo: I am embarrassed, but I am not afraid. I can sing by myself.

Y: what to sing?

Guo: Elephant, elephant.

Y: stop singing. Singing again is really a novelty of crayons.

Guo: I said I was from the underworld. Have pity on me! It really works. Tattoos really help. Fifty cents a piece, an apple, and a child gave me half a cake.

Y: Oh, I treat you like a beggar.

Guo: I wonder if this is wrong. There is no such thing in the street. What's going on here? I hate it. I'm going home. There is a vendor selling baked sweet potatoes. I was kicked into the stove. I charge protection money! He waved at more than 40 baked sweet potatoes and hit me this time, saying that we used to collect protection fees. But if it's easy, who will do it? I said a few seniors don't, don't, don't, let your eyes shine. Seniors, I just entered the business. How can we make money? Why can't you make money? We all learn well here, and you are shameless. Find a nightclub, even for those ladies. You can also make money. Yes, I really like to go to that place, that weathered place. Although there are no flowers, I also. . . . . . Old lady? I look old, 30 years old. What happened? What happened? The guest who came to play again today didn't give money. They agreed not to give money, but also bullied, cursed and hit people. I went too far. How much should I give you? 100。 I'll give it first

Y: You gave it to me?

Guo: Take it first. Which room is it? I'll help you pull out the wound. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock Huh? What is this place? This is a place for jokes and money. Can you come out without money? I tell you, your nature is very serious, pay! Don't! What? You want to go! Oh, I'm telling you, I wiped it, okay?

Y: Hey, forget it.

Guo: I'll scare you if I don't wipe it. Are you sure you don't want to? Really don't give! Of course, if you don't give it, you won't give it. Let's make friends.

Y: make friends?

Guo: Be sure to mention me when you come in the future. This is more like a human sentence. What's big brother's name? My name is Angela Yu Chien.

Y: no!