Funny jokes in WeChat comments

A joke is artistic, and the meaning of many words is contained in one paragraph. What follows is the humorous jokes in the WeChat comments I carefully prepared for you. Welcome to watch!

Humorous jokes in WeChat comments (hot articles)

1. The banana fan was picked by the old gentleman in Taishang, but it was in the hands of the iron fan princess; Cows don't know Samadhi, but Hong Haier was born with it. . . The connotation of this is really intriguing! Is there wood? !

2. Go to the cinema to watch The Painted Skin 2, which tells that ChristianRandPhillips was frozen by a cold fox in Kyubi no Youko. A man next door gloated: You sing a fire in winter.

3. If you ctrl+alt+del jump out of the task manager, it is clear from top to bottom that you know all the processes, what they do, the consequences of turning them off, and the current state of the computer can be clearly known from the digital beats occupied by CPU and memory, then you should not have a girlfriend.

Falling in love is forbidden in school, but two students in our class still talk in secret. After being discovered by the class teacher, I called my parents. The class teacher originally wanted parents to talk about their children. As a result, parents chatted and found that the other family was in good condition, so they got engaged. Engaged?

5. Teach you to write Wong Kar-wai lines in 5 seconds, that is, an event+a circuitous time+a boring event. For example, three days, six hours and eight minutes after the accident, I went to eat the cone again, but this time, I didn't want taro.

6. Eat in the canteen at noon today, and play with your mobile phone while eating. At this moment, a beautiful woman who couldn't find an empty table sat opposite me. Suddenly, I became nervous. But in order not to lose my cool, I pretended to be calm. I wanted to take a gentle bite of rice, but I excitedly put my mobile phone in my mouth?

7. Lights out at night, and the director kicks the door in and says, Why don't you go out? Then we'll turn off the lights. One day, the doorbell rang and the director broke into the house again. Before he could speak, a roommate said, director, you're here, waiting for you for a long time, and then turn off the lights.

8. In the office, a female colleague bickered with a male colleague, but she picked up perfume and sprayed it on her clothes, and then smiled and said, I'll wait for your daughter-in-law to fight you hard tonight! ?

9. When I was in college, sometimes I really didn't want to eat in the canteen, so I went to the food street outside the school. There are roast duck, roast chicken and other delicious, delicious mouth water, so the appetite increased greatly, and then went back to the school cafeteria to buy two steamed buns and half a dish to eat.

10. When a woman complains, a man should never give a solution, just go along with her. Example: Traffic jams are really annoying! Why not go the other way? Wrong. I told you we should leave early! All wet. I'll drive next time. Very wrong. Yeah, it's annoying. That's right. Yes, it's really annoying. Let's go to eat delicious food later! A pair of big ones. Yeah, it's annoying. We'll eat delicious food and buy you clothes later. That's right!

Funny jokes in WeChat comments (classic)

1. I have a husky at home. Today, when I fed it dog food, I picked up a piece and tasted it out of curiosity. Unexpectedly, after looking at me affectionately, the goods moved silently and gave me a place beside the rice basin.

2. One day, four Tang Priest disciples came to Pansi Cave and saw seven beautiful women taking a bath in the pool. Bajie's mouth watered with greed. Seven fairies. ? Tang Priest just took one look and immediately folded his hands. Monster. ? Wukong said: I admire you, these seven people are monsters, but how do you know that they are not the seven fairies without critical eyes? The Tang Priest laughed and said, One of the seven fairies married Yong Dong. Where can there be seven people taking a bath?

3. It is said that the actual appearance of girls = the beauty of each head -30%. Handsome degree of boys = avatar effect of everyone +30%.

I rented a house by myself. After taking a shower last night 10, I sent a message to my girlfriend lying in bed as usual. After sending one, I'm so sleepy. I lay down for a while and woke up to find that it was 12. There are several messages about her on my mobile phone. Why not reply? ,? Are you still awake? Almost, so my brain shorted out and I sent back a message: Is he asleep? As a result, my girlfriend's mobile phone has been turned off until now. ...

5.？ Robbery! ? With a non-standard Mandarin, the plane suddenly boiled. Eating, chatting and sleeping are all like hearing a signal, with sparkling eyes and looking at the source of the sound excitedly. A flat-headed guy just lifted half a glass of transparent liquid and was squashed by everyone. Half an hour later, the young man woke up from a coma, looked at the serious stewardess in front of him, and finally finished the sentence with tears: Sister, another glass of water!

6. Looking for a girlfriend depends on her Taobao score first. Only one or two red stars are the best, so you must think twice before you act.

7. In the evening, the spring breeze rippled and a girl knocked at the door. I asked her who she was, and she shook her head and began to take off her clothes ... and then she came on time every Wednesday without saying a word. I call her Wednesday girl. A month later on Wednesday, the girl finally spoke: Feng Dao, can I have a role? I pointed to the floor and said, Director Feng's house is downstairs, dear!

8. The mother criticized her son: I don't understand how you can do so many stupid things in one day! ? . The son confidently replied:? Because I get up early. ?

9. A colleague got under the table and quickly screamed: Oh, no, I pressed the wrong button. I pressed the master switch of all computer patch panels! ? Everyone was surprised: But our computer is still on? ! ? A colleague's voice for help came from under the table: I haven't raised my hand yet. The whole office was silent for two seconds! ! Turn it off! ! Turn it off! ! ! Save! ! Hold on, hold on. ! ! ?

10. My daughter is two years old and has to pee before going to bed at night. Me: Daughter, how about taking a piss? Daughter: No me: Be good, sprinkle one, or wet the bed, catch a cold, catch a cold, and then take medicine and injections. Daughter: No, when the struggle entered the stalemate stage, my wife came over and gave me a white look. In one word, I will take a photo of you and put it online. Daughter: I have to pee! The network is powerful.

Paragraph recommendation in WeChat comments (selected articles)

1. A colleague of the company divorced because he came home from a business trip for 20 days and found his wife cheating. I asked him how he found it. He said:? Through condoms. ? I asked:? Why, there are many condoms. There were nine left when I left and nine left when I came back. What was that? I don't understand. ? Jasper when I left and Durex when I came back.

2. In a computer class a long time ago, a row of classmates' computers crashed. A classmate stood up and said, teacher, the computer crashed and all our platoon died. ? At this time, many students said:? We are dead, too. ? The teacher asked: Who else is not dead? Only one student stood up:? I'm not dead! ? The teacher said strangely:? The whole class is dead. Why don't you die?

A friend recently bought a car and took us out for a walk. My sister suddenly said to my wife, Sister, your friend drives steadily. Wife: Yes. Look, another bike has passed.

As soon as the robber stood up, he shouted: hijacking! The faces of the passengers around were all smiles, as if they saw a bunch of big letters shining on the robber's head: Dear, 3 million house, 1 10,000 cash, dear, and a BMW Audi car, free flight for life? It is estimated that the robbers will be kissed to death alive! Every passenger on the flight is waiting for the robber like waiting for the first love.

5. After graduating from college, a macho man sells second-hand college advanced mathematics textbooks, and the advertising word on the side of the book is:? 95% new, with make-up exam transcripts as proof! ?

6. I once went to play ball and met my math teacher. I scored when he played ball. After a while, I deliberately miscalculated the score, and the teacher roared: Did you learn math from the pig? We paused for a while and then laughed for a long time.

7. A couple are sleeping in bed. It's about midnight. There seems to be a noise outside, which woke his wife. The wife was in a daze and quickly woke up her husband. And said to her husband:? Get up quickly, as if my husband had come back. ? The husband was awakened by his wife and was in a daze. After listening to his wife, he stood up and said, why didn't you say so earlier? Then where should I hide now? ?

8. I have been playing well with a girl, but neither of them has the intention of being together. Once we went out for a drink and sent her back after drinking, she suddenly took my arm and said, do you know what you are to me? Just when I was thinking about Youlemei, she said you were my period, and I was tired of watching it.

9. I am a 23-year-old female with a poor capacity for alcohol. After drinking a glass of beer, I was very sleepy. One day, my husband bought me two pineapple beers. I drank a whole hall at dinner. After dinner, I didn't want to wash the dishes, so I lay on the sofa and got drunk. Nima's husband pulled me up and showed me the bottle: Does this drink contain alcohol?

10. The biggest gain of internship in Baidu is that you can add wap to copy documents in front of Baidu library, while the biggest gain of internship in Youku is that you can download videos directly in summer after playing Youku. The biggest discovery of potato internship is to add it after the video link? Tid=- 1 You can skip the advertisement for 45 seconds. The biggest gain of internship in ICBC is that online banking transfer is cheaper than self-service machine transfer.