Pan Jinlian invited Song Wu to dinner for this purpose. Netizen: The doorway in the dinner.

Article 6 doorways in social intercourse

What emotional communication skills do people have when eating? How did Song Wu and Pan Jinlian experience three ups and downs?

Food is the most important thing for the people, and eating has always been a major event in people's lives. People will encounter many large and small dinners in their life. Above the dining table, there is delicious food that makes people's index fingers move. Under the dining table, there are many doorways for interpersonal communication. As early as the Spring and Autumn Period, Yan Zi of the State of Qi "killed three scholars with two peaches" at the dinner party, which easily solved the domestic crisis. During the Warring States Period, Lin Xiangru also saved the day at banquets and safeguarded Zhao's interests. Xiang Yu's "The Hongmen Banquet", Cao Cao's "On Heroes with Cooking Wine" and Zhao Kuangyin's "A Glass of Wine to Solve Soldiers". In the history of China, many key moments that determine the historical trend occurred at dinner. People can not only resolve the crisis and enhance their feelings through dinner, but also cause unhappiness and bring disaster.

In Water Margin, the protagonists Song Wu and Pan Jinlian experienced three important turning dinners, which laid the groundwork for a series of tragedies. So, what are these three special meals? What are the precautions for people to eat in their daily lives?

Let's sum it up. The first meal is called seduction. Pan Jinlian's beauty has a crush on Song Wu. The second meal was called seduction rice, and Pan Jinlian used some means to seduce Song Wu. The third meal is called a farewell meal, which can also be said to be a breakup meal. Song Wu, a great hero, didn't do anything you couldn't do. He clarified the contradiction with Pan Jinlian, and finally the two sides broke up. These three meals have their own secrets. Let's analyze them one by one.

The first meal is an attractive one.

Pan Jinlian used all four means of emotional communication at the first meeting. The first is the exchange of food. Everyone knows that the closest organ to centrifugation is the stomach. If you cannot satisfy her heart, you can satisfy his stomach. As long as you satisfy his stomach, you can win her heart. This food connection is a very effective way to take care of and win children or puppies. So Pan Jinlian started from this angle, and he sent Wu Dalang to say, you go to the street to prepare some dining tables, and I will chat with my uncle, so let's invite him to dinner. This Wu Dalang ran to prepare wine and meat, and this Pan Jinlian sat opposite Song Wu to chat. Wu Dalang said downstairs, madam, you come down and arrange the banquet. She even disdained to say, you have no brain? I'm chatting with my second uncle! You won't call mother Wang next door, will you? Pay great attention. This is the first time that Mother Wang has appeared. Mother Wang is not a simple mother. She is better than mother Zhang, mother Li and mother Zhao. I think this Wang Po is a wonderful supporting role in this passage, which will be mentioned later. So Pan Jinlian asked Wu Dalang to ask the Queen Mother to arrange wine and food. Then Song Wu said, Sister-in-law, you can go down and arrange it. I'm sitting here alone. Pan Jinlian said no, I will accompany you. After a while, the table was served. Song Wu sits here, Pan Jinlian sits opposite, and Wu Dalang sits next to sift wine and cloth. Pan Jinlian first offered a glass of wine to Song Wu, and then said, Uncle, have some meat and fish, and then put it directly in front of Song Wu with this fish. Note that this is food communication.

The second step is eye contact. Song Wu is a shy and introverted person. You gave me meat and poured wine, so I had to respond, so Song Wuren could only say thank you, thank you, thank you. Pan Jinlian stared at a pair of peach eyes and hung two arch eyebrows. He looked at Song Wu and stared at Song Wu, actually sending a signal that I am interested in you. This is called temptation. Seeing Song Wu was uncomfortable, with his head down and his face flushed, and he just wanted to eat. This eye contact exists. Then there is topic exchange, specifically looking for warm topics. Song Wu was far away from his hometown since he was a child, without the care of his parents. He liked warm topics. Pan Jinlian said that living in the county town does not eat, drink or drink. Why don't you move in? I can bring you soup and water, and it's thoughtful from top to bottom. My neighbors will laugh at me if you don't come. Wu Dalang was moved by Song Wu, and echoed, Come here if you want. You see, this topic has also been exchanged. A few days later, Pan Jinlian was busy managing life for Song Wu, who was moved. Song Wu made a colorful satin dress for Pan Jinlian as a gift. Pan Jinlian took it.

When two people meet for the first time, food exchange, eye contact, topic exchange and gift exchange form an emotional interaction, and both sides recognize this feeling. However, the channels are different. Song Wu regarded Pan Jinlian as his sister-in-law and respected her. Pan Jinlian positioned Song Wu as a spare tire. Although their emotional identity is different, their channels and orientations are completely different. What's the point of living for a while? We have to get closer! Therefore, Pan Jinlian launched a second dinner party to close the intimate relationship. How to cultivate intimacy between people? At this dinner party, he proposed five ways to cultivate intimate relationships.

After a month or so. Suddenly one day, the north wind suddenly started, with dark clouds and snowflakes. It was snowing heavily, and Pan Jinlian decided to invite Song Wu to dinner on this snowy day, so as to draw closer to each other's feelings. So Pan Jinlian prepared chicken, duck and fish, served wine here, prepared a red charcoal brazier, and then stood alone in the curtain waiting for Song Wu to come back. Song Wu will come back soon. Pan Jinlian said, Uncle has been waiting for you for a long time. Why did you come back like this? Nujia, I waited at the door and didn't come. I waited for a cold inside and out, and you didn't come back. Song Wu quickly explained that the old sister-in-law had been waiting for so long. When Song Wu entered the room, he had to take off his hat and cloak. Pan Jinlian went back and forth to help him sweep the snow, help her pick her shawl, take off this cloak and help her take off this felt hat.

At this time, Pan Jinlian used a strategy to create opportunities for contact and increase intimate feelings. There is a charcoal fire in the room to keep warm, and the table is very hot. Pan Jinlian spilled a glass of wine all over the floor and dragged his hands to Song Wu's eyes. Song Wu was full of respect. Pan Jinlian's love for Song Wu and Song Wu's love for Pan Jinlian are two different things. Song Wu gulped down the wine, and Pan Jinlian poured another glass with a smile and said, "Uncle, have a drink.". Attention, everyone, this is called a hint. There are not only amorous feelings, but also connections and hints. I didn't say it, but I can't show it. Song Wu felt uncomfortable, but he didn't mind. Pick up this cup, say thank you and drink it.

Now Pan Jinlian has three methods, amorous feelings, contact and hint. But what if Song Wu doesn't respond after three strokes? Pan Jinlian continued to find a way. He took a shovel pole and began to adjust the brazier in front of Song Wu. Pan Jinlian pretended to adjust the brazier and pinched Song Wu's shoulder and said, Uncle, aren't you cold in these clothes? Take the initiative to pinch, this is a strong connection. Say you can't set fire, uncle. Let me help you make a fire. Pay attention to Jiu-Er in pairs? I'll light the fire for you, but it's all a hint. A little literary level, a little emotional accumulation can almost be received. However, Song Wu didn't like literature very much, and his feelings didn't accumulate, so he just sat there. Pan Jinlian was anxious and started the fourth method: exchanging food.

Food is a very effective way to express feelings. He poured a glass of wine, looked at Song Wu, looked at people who didn't look at the wine, looked at Song Wu who drank half a glass of wine, and said to Song Wu with the other half of the wine in his hand, Uncle, if you are kind, you can drink my half of the wine. You see what a naked hint this is. Song Wu finally unbearable. At that time, he turned his face and became anxious. Song Wu lit Pan Jinlian and said, Sister-in-law, don't be so shameless. Song Wu is an indomitable hero, not an immoral pig and dog. How can you do such a shameless thing? I respect that you are a sister-in-law You should pay attention to your behavior. You live with my brother. What's happening outside? Takejiro knows you're a sister-in-law, and my fist denies you're a sister-in-law. Pan Jinlian's words are like that ice bucket game, in which a bucket of cold water is poured down. Pan Jinlian said with a big red face, I'm kidding you. How can you take it seriously? You really don't know the weight (find yourself under the steps).

So in fact, in the second dinner, Pan Jinlian always put himself in a weak position, loving and loving, and making people feel poor can make people love. I said I was unlucky, in a bad mood, weak and bullied. I'm also a victim. In this way, I can start his love for me If I add some other methods, it will be effective. But Pan Jinlian didn't succeed, because he was facing the heroic Wu Erlang. Heroic. He wouldn't do such a stupid thing. So what is the hero we are talking about? It is values that can control feelings and desires. This is called a hero. Then what is shameless? In turn, it is feelings and desires that control values. The second dinner ended in discord. Without saying anything, Song Wu packed his things and moved away in the face of the heavy snow. Pan Jinlian came to report the wicked first, crying and chirping to report Wu Dalang, saying that your second brother was outrageous and dared to molest me. Wu Dalang can't say that washing one's dirty linen in public, so be it.

Dinner has gradually become an important way of interpersonal communication, whether it is a small gathering between relatives and friends or a social interaction between business partners, it is inseparable from a meal. Many times, the social distance between people is greatly shortened with every meal. Pan Jinlian just wants to attract attention by eating. But the great hero Song Wu is upright and aboveboard. Pan Jinlian's failure is inevitable. However, after the second meal broke up in discord, a few days later, Song Wu took the initiative to raise money for the third meal. So, what medicine is sold in Song Wu's gourd? What will be the result of this dinner?

Please see the next article: the third meal.

To be continued.