Xu Zhimo-I was lucky enough to get it, but I couldn't. I died.

Xu Zhimo's emotional experience is rich. There are three women in his love. The people who love him and the people he loves deserve our taste.

Zhang Youyi was Xu Zhimo's first wife, and their marriage was arranged by their parents under the typical feudal tradition.

1897, Xu Zhimo was born in Shixia Town, Haining, Zhejiang Province. The Xu family is the leading local businessman.

19 13, Zhang Youyi's brother Zhang Jiaxuan met sixteen-year-old Xu Zhimo, and he appreciated Xu Zhimo's talent very much, and the Xu family and the Zhang family, who played an important role in politics, were also suitable. So the marriage is settled.

Zhang Youyi, 13 years old, saw the photo of Xu Zhimo for the first time and said to his father, I don't mind.

17-year-old Xu Zhimo glanced at the photos of Zhang Youyi and commented on Zhang Youyi: a country bumpkin.

The label "hillbilly" seems to be firmly attached to Zhang Youyi from this moment on.

Xu Zhimo, who pursues freedom and accepts new ideas, opposes arranged marriage, but after all, he can't get rid of the shackles of his family and has to accept this kind of marriage.

19 15 years, they got married. This marriage seems to be a mistake from the beginning, and it is doomed to be fruitless. After the wedding of relatives and friends, Xu Zhimo left, leaving Zhang Youyi alone.

19 18, Zhang Youyi gave birth to a boy. Four months later, Xu Zhimo resolutely went to study in the United States.

When Xu Zhimo was studying abroad, Zhang Youyi asked his teacher to study literature, geography and other knowledge. She is looking forward to seeing Xu Zhimo next time. I hope to bring some surprises to Xu Zhimo.

1920, Xu zhimo mentioned Zhang Youyi for the first time in his letter and was accompanied by Zhang Youyi. Zhang Youyi was filled with joy, dressed in carefully selected clothes, and stood in front of Xu Zhimo.

Without looking at her carefully, Xu Zhimo led her into the shop and picked out her favorite clothes-skirts, black stockings and hats. Urging Zhang Youyi to change. According to Zhang Youyi's later recollection: Looking in the mirror, I don't even know myself.

Xu Zhimo then took a photo with Zhang Youyi and sent it back to his hometown. Perhaps this is just a kind of comfort to the family and gives them a reassurance.

In the photo, Xu Zhimo is slightly inclined to Zhang Youyi, with a bookish and quiet face. Zhang Youyi looked a little stiff, as if her new dress didn't fit.

This is the first and last photo of Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo.

192 1 year, Zhang Youyi found herself pregnant again, and Xu Zhimo asked Zhang Youyi to abort the baby. Zhang Youyi panicked and said, I heard that aborting the child would kill me. Who knows, Xu Zhimo responded: Trains will kill people. Isn't someone taking the train?

Broke Zhang Youyi's heart. That night, Zhang Youyi didn't cook dinner for the first time.

Xu Zhimo left Zhang Youyi again. Meeting again is to sign the divorce papers. Xu Zhimo put aside his responsibility and reputation and urged Zhang Youyi to sign. This stems from the encounter with Lin.

Zhang Youyi couldn't understand why her marriage broke up, because she served her in-laws, took care of her family and obeyed women's morality.

From 1922 to 10, Xu Zhimo followed Lin back to China, while Zhang Youyi went to Berlin and gave birth to her second child.

Zhang Youyi's forbearance and devotion will never restore Xu Zhimo's lost love. He has always wanted to find his soul mate on the emotional road. Obviously, Zhang Youyi is not. But Zhang Youyi always loved Xu Zhimo best.

Lin is the favorite daughter. Lin Changmin and Xu Zhimo are good friends. Xu Zhimo and Lin had feelings under the interaction of one to two. At that time, Lin 16 years old and Xu Zhimo was 24 years old.

Disagree with the feelings between Xu Zhimo and Lin.

192 1 10 June, I returned to China and took my daughter Lin back to Beijing.

1922 10, Xu zhimo returned to China after finishing his studies in Cambridge. On the eve of returning home, I wrote Farewell to Cambridge.

1922, 1 1 In June, Xu Zhimo announced in the newspaper that he was engaged and broke off his engagement. Later, he wrote the famous "Laugh and Look at the Sad Knot" for Zhang Youyi, which is the only poem that Xu Zhimo gave to Zhang Youyi.

1923, as soon as Xu Zhimo arrived in Beijing, he received a long letter from his teacher Liang Qichao, urging him to "never exchange the pain of others for his own happiness". At this time, the Lins have betrothed their daughter Lin to Liang Sicheng, the son of Liang Qichao.

However, Xu Zhimo did not take the teacher's advice seriously, but firmly replied: "I will visit my only soul mate in the vast sea of people. I am lucky, but I can't, and my life is just like this."

Liang Sicheng lives in Songpo Library because Liang Qichao is the curator of Songpo Library. There are two houses in Songpo Library, one of which is located in the Quick Snow Pavilion in Beihai Park. Fast School is a quiet and elegant courtyard, which is closed to the public on Sundays.

Liang Sicheng, the son of the curator, has a special relationship. Of course, he can come and go freely, and this has become the place where Liang Sicheng and Lin meet.

The reason why Xu Zhimo really found here is of course impressive. He is a student of Liang Qichao and a friend of Lin Changmin. Even if Liang Sicheng were here, he would always give face.

However, Xu Zhimo came more often, and Liang Sicheng gradually became disgusted. Once, Liang Sicheng wrote a note in English on the door "Lovers don't want to be disturbed".

At first glance, Xu Zhimo had to leave angrily. This bright note was posted on the door, and Lin must have acquiesced.

1924, Indian poet Tagore visited China. Both Xu Zhimo and Lin are poets, so naturally they receive together, go in and out of the venue together, and perform English plays together. Contact again and again ignited their old feelings.

But Lin is going to study in the United States with Liang Sicheng soon. She can't be his wife. It is a foregone conclusion that the two of them can't be a family.

On May 20th of the same year, Tagore and his party left Beijing accompanied by Xu Zhimo, and many people, including Lin, went to the station to see them off.

After meeting Lin, Xu Zhimo wrote a letter to her immediately. However, the car has already started. In desperation, Xu Zhimo jumped out of the car and handed the unfinished letter to Lin.

The letter wrote: "My mind has always been in a daze these two days. With my eyes open and my eyes closed, I only saw the dim and desolate moonlight the night before, and slowly retreated to the wilderness according to the vehicles we didn't want. Parting! How can you believe it? It's crazy to think about it. Who can cut so much silk? My eyes are black again. "

"In your life, there will at least one time that you forget yourself for someone, asking for no result, no company, no ownership or even love, just meeting you in my most beautiful years."

It can be said that Lin is the favorite woman in Xu Zhimo's life and the soul mate he has tried his best to find.

Why didn't Lin choose Xu Zhimo? She once said, "What Xu Zhimo likes is not me, but the romantic imagination of his poet."

(1925, Xu Zhimo arrived in Berlin, Germany, and learned that his youngest son Peter had passed away. )

In the following days, Xu Zhimo was extremely depressed, when he met Lu Xiaoman.

Lu Xiaoman is a famous social butterfly in Beijing. Lu Xiaoman's marriage to her husband Wang Geng was arranged by her parents. These two people don't get along.

Liang Qichao's students Wang Geng and Xu Zhimo jointly founded the Crescent Society.

Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo have been in love for a long time.

1925, Lu Xiaoman and Wang Geng divorced after abortion.

Xu Zhimo's parents strongly opposed the marriage between Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman. In this regard, Xu Zhimo's father, Xu Shenru, proposed: If you agree that the two can get married, you must do three things. The first is to obtain the understanding and consent of the former Zhang Youyi; The second is the wedding itself; Third, cultural celebrities must be invited to the wedding, with Hu Shi as an introducer and Liang Qichao as a witness.

1926, the wedding was finally held. Liang Qichao, as a witness, not only failed to send blessings to the couple, but also scolded the couple at their wedding:

"Lu Xiaoman, you and Xu Zhimo are experienced people. I hope that from now on, you can listen to your wife and review your character and behavior. Divorce and remarriage are all caused by your personality fault. I hope you don't make a mistake again. "

After marriage, the happy time of Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman did not last long.

Lu Xiaoman still lives a pampered life, busy with communication and enjoyment every day. He either played cards with friends, paid actors, and even smoked opium at Weng Wurui's instigation. (Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman met Weng Wurui because of the play)

In order to make a living, Xu Zhimo can only teach in several schools in Beijing and Shanghai, and desperately write poems to earn manuscript fees. At that time, Xu Zhimo earned nearly 1,000 yuan a month, while Lu Xun earned only 400 yuan.

Even so, Xu Zhimo can't stand Lu Xiaoman's profligacy.

Life is not a poem on paper, but it must conform to the daily necessities. Fantasy is always fantasy.

193 1 year 1 month 1 month 65438+9, Xu zhimo was caught in a fog on his way from Nanjing to Beiping, and his plane crashed and died at the age of 36. At this point, Xu Zhimo's romantic life is over.