Sketch "blind date" script

Zhao Haiyan: What did you do, get up in the morning?

Zhao Benshan: I didn't buy you breakfast.

Zhao Haiyan: I ate this thing the day before yesterday. I've had enough. I won't eat it.

Zhao Haiyan: Go for a walk.

Zhao Benshan: Why do you always ask me out? What are you doing?

Zhao Haiyan: I want you to vacate this room. I have something to do.

Zhao Benshan: Another blind date?

Zhao Haiyan: That's right.

Zhao Benshan: Why do you bring this up at the end of the year? Who is this?

Zhao Haiyan: Find a date for my sister, not me. I went to see an old sister and set him up on a blind date.

Zhao Benshan: Get someone to go to his place, mine. What are you doing here?

Zhao Haiyan: We all go to the man's house for blind date. The key is that there are no more than 1000 people living in the man's family.

Why didn't you call me as soon as I went out to dance yangko?

Zhao Benshan: That's what we've been doing. I'm not allowed in. I have already paid the bridge toll, right? Can't I go out?

Zhao Haiyan: It's not good if you don't go out. It's okay not to go out. You can receive that woman when she comes.

Zhao Benshan: What can I do for you? Reception?

Zhao Haiyan: Praise Sun Lirong.

Zhao Benshan: White and clean. It's a big guy with a height of 1.7 meters. God, I-we lied again.

Zhao Haiyan: Praise his merits.

Zhao Benshan: I praised him. It is our common wish to send Sun Lirong away.

Zhao Haiyan: The house is clean and tidy, which is enough for burial.

Zhao Benshan: Pack your things. It's my turn Is it a blind date? Sit down.

Sun Lirong: What about Zhao Haiyan?

Zhao Benshan: Didn't you meet me when I first went out?

Sun Lirong: That's interesting. I hid.

Zhao Benshan: Sit down. How do you know Zhao Haiyan?

Sun Lirong: Zhao Haiyan always teaches me to dance yangko. I said, is this a dance?

Zhao Benshan: I advise you to be awkward and easy to get hurt.

Sun Lirong: I don't walk on stilts? Zhao Benshan: I was hurt emotionally. Zhao Haiyan didn't introduce you?

Sun Lirong: What is the introduction? This situation is all here.

Zhao Benshan: You don't choose his size, do you?

Sun Lirong: The size is fine.

Zhao Benshan: You can make a deal with her.

Sun Lirong: Look at you, big brother.

Zhao Benshan: I'll wash some fruit for you. Go to the back room for a while. She will be back soon. Go to the back room.

Zhao Haiyan: Sun Lirong, don't finish. You are at the door. Why did you flinch? Let's go.

Song Xiaobao: Zhao Haiyan, when you say my heart is pounding, I can jump out with my throat narrow and my throat thick.

Zhao Haiyan: What are you afraid of? It's a blind date What works is useless.

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, this woman is nice. Stop pretending. This is an opportunity that should be seized.

Zhao Haiyan: Coming?

Sun Lirong: How was the conversation?

Zhao Benshan: It's all set. Li Rong

Sun Lirong: What are you hiding from?

Song Xiaobao: Hello, let me introduce myself. Zhao Haiyan and I are partners, dancing yangko together. Zhao Haiyan, why don't you say something? You can't sleep in the middle of the night and read. I will fall in love with the Tang Priest in it for a long time, so I won't let the Monkey King play that Bai Gujing. The Yangko team needs this Eight Rings, and this is the Eight Rings. You give that pig the whole inside, and it's colloquial.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, what are you reading? What's wrong with it?

Zhao Haiyan: You go to the big house. You are talking here.

Zhao Benshan: Yan, let's talk face to face.

Zhao Haiyan: No, you two talk first. I'll talk to him first. Go ahead.

Song Xiaobao: I'm not afraid of your water. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Don't rush me to that house. Big brother will burn me alive. What did you say?/Sorry?

Zhao Benshan: These flowers are for you. Did you not believe in constellations last year? Why do you want to tell a fortune?

Song Xiaobao: That was last year. Last year I believed in the constellation, and this year I believe in the five elements.

Sun Lirong: That's the five elements.

Song Xiaobao: If you say yes, it's up to you. Jin Mu has a cycle of fire, water and soil for 60 years. Jin Kemu, wood fire, fire and water, fire and water.

Zhao Benshan: You hit me.

Song Xiaobao: What's your name?

Zhao Benshan: I am a bad karma.

Sun Lirong: Brother Du Ming, you gave birth to me.

Zhao Benshan: It's none of my business what can give birth to a black product like you.

Zhao Haiyan: Where did you two go? The girls were all nice?

Song Xiaobao: Good.

Zhao Benshan: Everyone agrees?

Sun Lirong: Good.

Zhao Benshan: Not too dark, is it?

Sun Lirong: It's white.

Song Xiaobao: You mean teeth, right? This is a signal. Brother, let me tell you a story. Listen to me too. One day that year, I was idle and walked under the street lamp and saw this woman. I just grinned at her and the woman ran away. Damn it, whose tooth floated out. I won't go out after that, and I'm afraid I'll scare people when I go out.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, don't be so messy. You must control this woman, don't you understand? Especially cultured, don't spit casually. This is Gorky's history. Didn't you say you had read a book?

Sun Lirong: Which yangko team is Gorky in?

Song Xiaobao: From the Soviet Yangko Team.

Sun Lirong: Who is Gorky?

Zhao Benshan: Golf is his big brother.

Song Xiaobao: Who is Gorky?

Zhao Benshan: If I like you, I'll throw you a shot. That's a writer.

Song Xiaobao: Because I'm still worried about culture.

Zhao Benshan: You put this poem, Gorky's Zhao Haiyan.

Song Xiaobao: Brother, please ask me.

Zhao Benshan: You need chest resonance when reading poetry. Brain cavity resonance. Several cavities resonate together.

Sun Lirong: What happened?

Zhao Haiyan: Here comes the game. What about training?

Zhao Benshan: There are dark clouds on the vast sea.

Song Xiaobao: Gail.

Zhao Benshan: The strong wind swept away the dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a Zhao Haiyan proudly flying. Sun Lirong: Oh, my God.

Zhao Haiyan: We are very talkative. You always greet me and call me arrogant.

Zhao Benshan: It's really hard to be your neighbor. You should shout out the first sentence and show it.

Song Xiaobao: It resonates, Zhao Haiyan.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister. Song Xiaobao: Look, you scared the big sister to be smart.

Sun Lirong: Surprise me, I'm not ready.

Song Xiaobao: I'll read you a golf poem.

Zhao Benshan: The key.

Song Xiaobao: The foundation of golf.

Zhao Benshan: Gorky's husband. What's the name of the woman who came on a blind date?

Song Xiaobao: Ah.

Zhao Benshan: Did you go to Siping or something?

Song Xiaobao: Very big.

Zhao Benshan: Vast.

Song Xiaobao: On the boundless sea, the strong wind rolled up dark clouds. Between dark clouds and the sea, let's meet here. We love each other here. Jesus, big brother.

Zhao Benshan: Hey, brother.

Song Xiaobao: Why is it so interesting? Dude, I thought you put your teeth on the shelf.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister, he is very humorous. Optimism is always like this.

Zhao Benshan: What do you have to say?

Song Xiaobao: Nothing.

Zhao Benshan: Then it's settled. Zhao Haiyan, come in. Here you are.

Sun Lirong: No more meals.

Zhao Haiyan: Why, it's not like I picked two people out for dinner and chat.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister, see you in the Yangko Team another day. I am glad to hear your good news. Stay in your room and don't go out.

Sun Lirong: Brother, where are we going to eat?

Song Xiaobao: Didn't you say we should talk alone? Brother, let's go.

Zhao Benshan: I'm not going.

Song Xiaobao: What manners do you think you have?

Zhao Benshan: Go out. I'll just eat at home.

Sun Lirong: I think we all agree that at this age, you are welcome and you will not be allowed to be with me.

Song Xiaobao: Zhao Haiyan, how could I be cheated? Who was this woman introduced to?

Zhao Haiyan: Open your hand.

Zhao Benshan: She caught me.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister, what do you mean by opening your hand?

Zhao Benshan: What do I mean?

Zhao Haiyan: I don't understand. You think I'm in the way in this room. Get a woman to kick me out, and you two can be together.

Zhao Haiyan: You said it was a dirty lie.

Zhao Benshan: What did you say?

Zhao Haiyan: Although we are divorced, we can't share a room. You can find whoever you want. I've never stood in your way. I introduced you to someone and asked you to pry in.

Zhao Benshan: How did I pry it?

Zhao Haiyan: How can I get it to you without prying?

Sun Lirong: I misunderstood. I was introduced to him.

Song Xiaobao: Not so good.

Sun Lirong: Is this your wife?

Zhao Benshan: No, I'm a neighbor. We live in the same room.

Sun Lirong: Zhao Haiyan, you two are divorced?

Zhao Benshan: I was divorced a long time ago.

Sun Lirong: Listen, big brother, she doesn't want you. I want you. You've always been with me.

Zhao Haiyan: You spread it.

Sun Lirong: I don't think you want it.

Zhao Haiyan: I dare you to leave that house.

Zhao Benshan: Sister, there was a misunderstanding today. Big brother is not blessed. This is my whole life. This heart is here with this woman, and eldest brother won't go.

Sun Lirong: I feel sorry for you, big brother. I'll leave you a business card, and then I'll submit to humiliation and come to my place. If we can't be husband and wife, I'll raise you as my brother.

Zhao Haiyan: I'll keep it for you.

Sun Lirong: Here's the thing, Yan.

Song Xiaobao: Anything else? Give me one?

Sun Lirong: Go away, Yan. I'm going back. Anyway, I thank you. You can find me a wife in the future, and choose for me like my big brother. That thing has nothing to do with humans. Don't introduce me.

Zhao Benshan: Sister, you have to take this thing.

Sun Lirong: Zhao Haiyan will bring it to me later. I won't.

Song Xiaobao: I'll give it back to her later.

Zhao Haiyan: I tell you, you will be my mother in the future. Don't leave the house even if you are rotten. Sun Lirong, I'm sorry. You are yellow again, once a year.

Song Xiaobao: I can't help it. I'm used to it. You can have a snack in Zhao Haiyan, and anyone who introduces you can introduce you. I think you are not good at everything, so how can you grow up? Zhao Haiyan, I look at this and that. I think you are me. Look at your loss.

Zhao Benshan: In the vast sea, the wind gathers dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, Zhao Haiyan, you can have a snack.