Who can give me the script of Zhao Benshan's sketch?

Bai: no ... you said you were good at kung fu. You ate three boxes and made the auditorium smell of leeks everywhere.

I hate going out with you. You said your level was too low. You ... remember, when recording programs in the future, you should talk less.

Did you hear that? Don't always tell the truth like Ge Tieling and Taiwan Province. What a pity ... ah, watch me handle it, okay?

Don't say anything, okay? Good boy, alas, do you think we haven't come here yet? That man is so disrespectful. When the people in Geting, Taiwan Province, waited for us for several hours,

This CCTV shakes you, really.

Cui: Hello everyone, sorry everyone, sorry I'm late, sorry. ...

Bai: Here we are. ...

Cui: I didn't sleep well last night. Oh, my aunt and uncle are here?

Bai: Here we are.

Cui: Hello, Aunt.

Bai: Hehe, hello.

Cui: Uncle. ...

Bai: Oh, then you have to start quickly. There are two columns below us. You have to give some face when Beijing TV and Tianjin TV come out. Say your opening remarks quickly.

Cui: You know me better ... Dear friends, welcome to Xiao Cui's speech. ...

Blake: Oh, son (burps)

Cui: Six years ago, I interviewed an old couple from the Northeast. ...

Blake: Oh, son (burps)

Cui: Six years have passed. What changes have they made? Today ...

Blake: Oh, son (burps)

Cui: I, I, I. ...

H: ok.

Bai: It's crazy. Go on with your story.

Cui: Er ... I don't even know what to say, I just. ...

Bai: You said that you were fooled by the host, and your adaptability was so poor that you became blind after a few hiccups. All right, sit down. I'll interview you first.

Cui: OK.

Bai: What's the matter, Xiao Cui? I haven't seen you for six years. I heard you were depressed?

Cui: It's all spread to Tieling!

Bai: Are you better?

Cui: Much better.

Bai: Don't pretend. You and your aunt and uncle are here. What are you pretending? It's all written on your face.

Cui: Really?

Blake: In the past, you looked in distress, but now it looks like an emergency meeting. ...

Cui: Are Tieling people still so boastful?

Bai: accept the gift ... I'll bring you a souvenir during the holiday, you mistress. Ah ... what is this? ..... it's unforgettable.

Cui: Oh, aunt, this "Moon" has been published?

Bai: Look at the title page.

Cui: Hey, I want to give this book to troubled Xiao Cui. I hope you won't wake up after reading this book ... from Aunt Baiyun ... Thank you.

Bai: What else? What else is there? Take it.

Cui: Oh, uncle, isn't this the handkerchief that the couple turned over?

Blake: Look at the front of the door.

Cui: Ah, turn around, shake, and fall asleep after exercise every day. This is a gift from black soil ... thank you, uncle and aunt. Look, you brought me a present. Thank you.

Hei: I haven't seen you for several years. Your aunt summed up:' What do you want to bring for your children?' What are you doing?

Bai: Oh, we are just worried. You can't feel any sleep here.

Cui: My uncle and aunt still care about my sleep. How about your parents' sleep quality?

Blake: I stuck a pillow on it, whirring.

Bai: Heartless people have a high quality of sleep.

Cui: Alas, my mind is too narrow to sleep.

Bai: Not you.

Cui: Ah, uncle, have you been happy these six years?

Hei: Happy, I sing duets every day, with a dozen old ladies. ...

Bai: He engages in his folk art, and I organize my publications. We care about each other in life and help each other in career. How can I describe it to you? ...

I can make do with it. What can I leave?

Cui: Actually, I heard that my uncle and aunt have some emotional problems.

Bai: gossip, absolute gossip ... a leader without news is not a leader, and a celebrity without gossip is not a celebrity ... it is difficult to be a silver, but it is difficult to be a woman. ...

Blake: It's ... it's hard to be a famous old woman.

Cui: As you can see, this uncle won't tell the truth. It's a good thing I have a plan. Hey, uncle and aunt, let's do it another way. When I asked my uncle, my aunt put on this earphone. When I asked my aunt, my uncle put on this earphone, okay? Listen to music and relax. Here, put it on.

Blake: Oh, it's too loud.

Bai: I told you to shut up. Why do you say so much? Go ahead, Cui

Cui: Hey, Auntie ... How did you come to Beijing this time?

Bai: We came by special plane.

Cui: That's too expensive, so we can't afford it.

Bai: No need to report. It's all small money, hehe. Now, you have money. Look at this dress. Quite rich. Oh, it's too rich.

Cui: Are you a mink?

Bai: Wrong, mink.

Cui: Is it particularly expensive?

Bai: Not expensive, 40,000.

Cui: 40 thousand is not expensive? Aunt is really willing to spend money on herself.

Author: 222. 132. 170. * Reply to this speech at 08: 06 on February 7th, 2006.

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2 Zhao Bensan said that the whole bank would proofread the edition [reproduced] [requested bar owners to refine it].

Bai: Women should be hard on themselves.

Cui: Can I ask my uncle again? Do you listen to music?

Bai: OK. I'm asking you. It’s your turn.

Blake: It's quite loud.

Cui: Uncle, I heard that you came to Beijing by special plane this time?

H: Ah, this is a brick tractor.

Cui: How cold is it?

Blake: So many clothes! Are wind-resistant. Look at her clothes.

Cui: Aunt, is this dress expensive?

Black: Very expensive. I rented it for forty-one days.

Cui: Rent?

H: ah.

Cui: How about it? It works. I still have to ask, oh, I'll ask my aunt again and listen to music.

Bai: Why am I laughing? I think there's something wrong here. Look at my gesture.

H: I see.

Bai: Go ahead, Cui.

Cui: Hey, Aunt, let's talk about your book.

Bai: Books?

Cui: Ah.

Bai: Storytelling has a lot to say, so where do you start?

Cui: Let's talk about signing books first.

Bai: On the book signing day, that guy, the scene was quite big. Really, gongs and drums are loud, red flags are flying, and people are crowded. That pushed me under the table and the pile of books fell.

Cui: Hey, shall I ask Uncle again?

Bai: Well, let me ask you, my book.

Cui: Uncle, were you there the day Aunt signed the book?

Blake: I didn't sign the book. Is all this in vain?

Cui: That aunt just said' a sea of people'

Blake: Oh, my God, when I heard that it was free, the whole town went to Qiu Shu and went back to the whole wall. That man is in the left building, right building, left building and right building. Later, when I went to the toilet, I saw such a thick stack of books.

Cui: OK, auntie, give me the earphone.

Bai: The IQ is quite high.

Cui: Ah, that's what it is. Just now, I asked my uncle and aunt the same question, but ah, you two answered it completely differently. Hey, I put on my ears to listen to music. Can you do it alone?

Bai: What's wrong with me? what did you say ? How did we get here?

Blake: I came by tractor.

Bai: What about my skirt?

H: I rented it for 4 1 day.

Bai: Where is my book?

Blake: I did what you did. Didn't you say it was all walls? Finally, what about reading in the bathroom?

Bai: Why don't you remember that I told you not to throw out all the truth?

Black: Then you can't help it. His things have been detained. The child doesn't behave well at school. You say you, I say him, Xiao Cui.

Cui: Hey.

H: You put it on.

Cui: Ah.

Blake: You are a bad student. Your movements are too vague for you. You don't blame yourself for not sleeping. You have too many brains. You should, ah.

Cui: Hey, thank you.

Bai: Their hosts are all like this, so from now on, don't say a word, don't say a word, do you hear? Remember? Say something.

Hei: Why don't you shut up?

Bai: It's too difficult to cooperate with you. I have never had a tacit understanding in my life. Trey, take it off.

Cui: Hey.

Bai: Let's go on talking.

Cui: OK, let me ask uncle another question, huh? What's wrong, uncle?

Bai: He has a stomachache. Say you have a stomachache. Why does it sag?

Black: Where's the belly?

Cui: Oh, aunt, your family education is really strict. Where you hurt your uncle, he will be hurt.

Bai: Hehe, I have a stomachache and I don't feel well. Ask me.

Cui: I just read your book. The first chapter is called going home. It says that the last time I went back to Tieling after the show, the scene was particularly spectacular, right?

Bai: How can it be called spectacular? That's the stage … when … spectacular! That guy, the scene is really big, it's really loud, guns are ringing, red flags are flying and people are crowded.

Black man: Cui, I beg you, let me put this thing on.

Bai: Is everything I said false?

H: Really?

Bai: You're not listening, are you?

Blake: Yes.

Bai: Then why did you detain him?

Black: stomachache

Bai: It's disgusting, don't you think? Cui, you keep asking. Ignore him. You have never seen the world.

Cui: Right. I know my aunt has actually seen a lot of the world since she became a celebrity. Did you participate in many activities?

Bai: Then ... when ... more, hehe. All day, we just performed everywhere, gave speeches everywhere and cut the ribbon.

Cui: The appearance fee is also quite high, right?

Blake: She is eighty and I am forty.

B: After tax.

Cui: Where did you cut the ribbon?

Bai: They are all large and medium-sized enterprises.

Black: pancake shop, blacksmith's stove

Bai: Hey, there is a big chicken farm in our corner. I cut it all.

Black: Yes, she died of bird flu after cutting it. The next day, more than ten thousand chickens died. Finally, I gave her a nickname after I cut it: No.

Bai: Will you suffocate if you don't talk? Can I choke you?

Black: can suppress madness.

Bai: Why is it so annoying? You said you were a man, and I didn't have to say anything to save your face. I don't have to say anything about him. You said just him, so people can go out and sing. Can you sing with this voice? That day, I went to our nursing home to sing to people. * * * There were seven old people sitting below, and he shouted out and fainted six.

Author: 222. 132. 170. * Reply to this speech at 08: 06 on February 7th, 2006.

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3 Zhao Bensan said that the whole bank would proofread the edition [reproduced] [requested bar owners to refine it]

Cui: Isn't there another one?

Bai: There is another dean who won't let go of my hand. That guy can shake it vigorously: "Elder sister, the voice of big brother is too sudden. I can't take it anymore. Let big brother go home quickly. People sing for money. He sings like hell. "

Hei: Hello, you are going to give a speech in a mental hospital for one day and one night.

Bai: What kind of mental illness did you leave the hospital?

Cui: Effective.

H: The doctor is crazy.

Bai: Which doctor is crazy? (Expressing disapproval, shock or anger) Excuse me?

H: Dr. Cui is crazy.

Bai: Which doctor Cui, why do you talk like that? ...

H: It's Dr. Cui.

Bai: Why are you so irresponsible? You said you, Cui, don't eat your heart. He didn't say you ... said so much. You are old and forgot to take your medicine when you went out. Cui, let's continue to talk about literature so as not to interrupt him. Why is it so annoying? What did you say?/Sorry?

Cui: Aunt, let's talk about your book. I heard that your Moon 2 is being written.

Bai: Well, there are more than 100,000 words left after the manuscript is finished.

Black: Oh, my God.

Bai: Why?

Black: stomachache

Bai: Stop, you ask.

Cui: Oh dear.

Bai: Go ahead, Cui.

Cui: I heard that readers are particularly looking forward to it.

Bai: What do you mean by looking forward to it? That's when I was looking forward to it. That guy, that is, after reading Confucius 1, he wanted to see Confucius 2, and it was all there.

H: That's true. What you keep is the phase ... when ... you feel uncomfortable, then the village chief will go to my house to block the door. Let me tell you something. Don't let your wife go. Write Confucius 2 quickly. There is no paper in the village toilet.

Bai: Cui, I beg you, CCTV has banned me. I'm leaving. I'm not recording.

Cui: What's the matter? What happened? You left again?

Bai: What are you talking about? You said I was going to refer to this program again. This guy asked you to steal it. You said it was all live.

Cui: That's all right. The ratings of this program are very low.

Bai: Low is no good. I'm a celebrity the size of white clouds. I'm leaving.

Blake: Shall we go? ! Show off in an ostentatious manner. What the hell did you do?

Bai: What's the matter?

Blake: What celebrity are you? That's a personal name! Why do you say that? You said that you recorded "Tell the truth" once. Why did you do this to you? We are little old men and little old ladies in the country. What books should we write? Writing a book before graduating from elementary school? Look at the six words that have been suppressed for seven days. I don't even like talking about you. Why aren't you honest? How tired is it to live here? You are like this. You drift, maybe one day the wind will drift away your clouds.

Bai: What's the matter? Do you have the ability to float in black soil?

Blake: I'm floating in a sandstorm. You go ahead, Trey. I'm sorry

Cui: Nothing.

Hei: Your aunt is not the one she was six years ago. Your uncle will always be your uncle.

Cui: I feel so bad?

Black: Don't be awkward, it's not the last sentence. I'll record it for you, okay? I said, sit down.

Bai: I thought about this last sentence, but I haven't said it yet. I also said. Why?

Cui: You see, the ratings of this program are already low. You said you'd broadcast it. When the ratings were high, we changed the program. Finally, he didn't say a word to everyone. This is a talent show. Look, I'm ready for you, one for each person.

Bai: I don't want it. Give him everything.

Black: Writer! You can't have this thing.

Cui: Talent show? Look at the handkerchief I brought to my head. Look at that.

Hei: Your talent show? Did you clean the glass? This thing shouldn't be like that. It should be like this. Can you catch it? Look at this thing. Leave it alone and get it back.

Cui: Hey, let's welcome my uncle to perform a duet for us, shall we?

Black: How? Everyone I bring?

Cui: Are there any aunts here?

Black: She can't sing?

Bai: No one invited me either.

Cui: Please.

Black: wife

White: Sample.

H: What are you going to do?

Bai: Change your clothes.

The music started ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ `.

Bai: Spring blossoms in the first month.

Black: White clouds and black soil came to the TV station.

Bai: Talking about the past.

Blake: We can't talk together.

Bai: He said black and I said white.

Black: She installed me and I opened it.

Bai: I can't get rid of it in front of Xiao Cui

Black: I dare not tell the truth.

He: Oh, hey hey.

Cui: It's all very real.

He: Why do you still have a little fame? Oh, hey hey.

White: Boiling water doesn't ring.

Black: it doesn't turn on when it rings.

Cui: I broke the enough paper and got it.

Bai: Laptop computer points.

Blake: Really.

White: Black is black.

Black: White is white.

Cui: Black and white are not the opposite.

He: He sleeps when he is surrounded, and wakes up when he sleeps soundly. I wish everyone a relaxed life, a happy life, good health and a good time. Go to the big stage of life, aye aye.