I went out to help my mother buy things, but I listened to what I heard and made a joke.

During the reign of Kangxi in the Qing Dynasty, a novel entertainment mode appeared in Fengcheng area in the south of the Yangtze River: when a guest came, as long as he was lying on a wooden bed, a baby less than three feet tall touched the guest's head with his immature little hand at the bedside, telling some anecdotes and officialdom turmoil.

These babies are called bedside babies. Although they are small and thin, their fingers look like babies, but their eyes and faces are full of vicissitudes. Street coolies, field workers and folk people all like to come to this bedside baby massage building because it is cheap. No one knows who is the boss behind the baby beside the bed, and even local officials can't help it. As a result, the name of this bedside baby is even louder.

This incident alarmed the court. Li Sanqiang, the minister of Kangxi's secret order, went down to explore and asked Li Sanqiang to try his best to report the origin of these bedside treasures to him, and he could only make secret inspections without disturbing local officials. Li Sanqiang lost sleep because someone reported his corruption. Seeing that the emperor entrusted him with a heavy responsibility, he was naturally happy: "The emperor still trusts me, and I must do this well."

So, Li Sanjiang quietly came to Fengcheng, dressed as a fortune teller and walked into the bedside baby massage building.

After paying the money at the counter, a servant in coarse clothes came over and took Li Sanqiang into a small room. A reddish-brown wooden bed almost occupied the whole room. Li Sanqiang is lying on the wooden bed. Soon, a little baby shook himself and jumped on the bed. Li Sanqiang looked at the man carefully, and found that although his fingers, soles and other bare places were tender and incomparable, his face looked very old. "Is this the legendary bedside baby?" Li Sanjiang is not startled.

The baby at the bedside is obviously an old hand at massage. Two babies gently stroked the temples on Li Sanqiang's head and murmured some folk anecdotes. That voice is singing and whispering, which makes people extremely lazy. Li Sanqiang wanted to talk to the baby at the bedside, but the baby at the bedside only said some anecdotes and shady officialdom, and ignored Li Sanqiang. Li Sanqiang had to close his eyes and enjoy this gentle touch. An hour later, the baby beside the bed jumped out of bed and disappeared at the door.

Li Sanqiang got out of bed and had a good stretch. He found that the fatigue of running around these days was swept away. He marveled to himself, thinking that if you want to do the things that the emperor told you, you must see the boss, otherwise it will be difficult to find out the origin of the baby at the bedside. Li Sanjiang found the waiter just now and explained his purpose. The waiter smiled and said to Li Sanjiang, "Sir, our boss doesn't accept visitors unless you are a special person."

"Special person?" San-qiang li paused, then cheerfully took out a silver or two, quietly to the waiter. The waiter took the money and said, "All right, I'll let you know." After a while, the waiter came back and pointed to a small door in front and said to Li Sanjiang, "Our boss is waiting for you in that room." Li Sanqiang went through the little black door and came to a small room. A man in a black coat stood with his back to him. "Do you have to see me?" There was a dull sound in the man's throat.

"Yes, I want to know how you got this bedside treasure?" After all, Li Sanjiang has seen this scene. He said bluntly, "Because I want to open a similar massage parlor, but don't worry, the place I opened is definitely not in this place. As long as you tell me the origin of the baby by the bed, I will give you 1200 gold as a reward. " Li Sanjiang played his wishful thinking very well. As long as the boss tells the origin of the baby at the bedside, he can report it to the emperor, and 1200 gold is just nine Niu Yi hairs to him.

The man turned around and smiled coldly. "Then come with me!" Li Sanqiang followed the men in black into a big cave. In the cave, one or two babies pass by the bed from time to time. They smiled and held one or two steamed buns and told stories happily.

Just when Li Sanjiang was at a loss, the man in black spoke: "I'm sorry, sir, we have regulations here." If someone must know the origin of the bedside baby, they must tell some anecdotes or official shady stories, otherwise those bedside babies will treat you as an alien and throw you into the pool, making you uncomfortable. " Li Sanqiang thought: I have been familiar with all kinds of books since I was a child, so naturally I have to tell some anecdotes. However, I'm a little embarrassed to say that there is shady officialdom, but in order to complete the task given by the emperor, I can only throw caution to the wind.

So he nodded: "Well, boss, I can do whatever you want."

They entered a hall in the cave. The hall was brightly lit, and a dozen bedside babies were frolicking around a huge stone bed. The babies at the bedside are all less than three feet tall, but their hands are as smooth as white jade.

"You tell these bedside baby an anecdote first. Wait, I will come to see you again and tell you about the origin of these bedside treasures! " The man in black finished and walked out of the cave.

Li Sanqiang smiled at the baby by the bed and told a strange story about a dwarf looking for a wife. Unexpectedly, the babies at the bedside shouted angrily, "You bad guy, laughing at us as dwarfs!" " I tell you, we are not dwarfs, we are bedside babies! "

Li Sanqiang quickly accompanied the smiling face: "Don't worry, everyone, I will tell you another joke!" "Who knows those bedside babies don't buy his account? One of them stared at Li Sanjiang and pointed to a steaming pool behind him. " Tell us your shady business in officialdom, or we'll throw you into the pool! "

Li Sanjiang quickly shook his head: "You misunderstood, I am not an official, so I don't know the officialdom shady!"

"Not an official, then why did you come here? Let's throw him down. " The baby at the head of the bed who took the lead cried. Other bedside babies jumped out of bed and surrounded Li Sanqiang.

The cold sweat on Li Sanqiang's forehead came down. He knows that he can't get out without some shady officialdom. Forget it, these bedside treasures are also for entertainment. I might as well make up some stories for them.

Strangely, the babies at the bedside had an insight into Li Sanqiang's god of fabricating facts, and they forced Li Sanqiang to tell his corrupt behavior. When Li Sanqiang faltered out a sum of money he had embezzled from the victim, the babies beside the bed gave a loud laugh. They heaved Li Sanqiang up and threw him into the steaming pool.

Although the water in that pool is very hot, it is very comfortable. Li Sanqiang just thinks that the water in this pool is poisonous, but now he feels a sense of comfort rushing straight at his seven gods and six veins, which makes him feel extremely comfortable. When Li Sanjiang was soaked and got up, he found that the man in black had come in. The man in black handed Li Sanjiang a cup of ginger soup and said to Li Sanjiang, "You drink a cup of ginger soup first, and I will tell you about the origin of these bedside treasures." Li Sanqiang took the ginger soup and gulped it down, sat down, waiting to hear the origin of the bedside baby from the black population.

Seeing that Li Sanqiang had finished drinking ginger soup, the man in black said cheerfully, "I don't need to tell you the origin of the bedside table baby, Li's adult?" Li Sanjiang was surprised and asked, "How do you know my name is Li? What is the origin of the bedside baby? "

"Aren't you the baby by the bed?" The man in black smiled coldly and pointed to the pool and said, "What you just made is bone shrinking water, and what you drink is water that can forget your memory. After half an hour, you will forget all your past. Three days later, you will shrink into a three-foot-high bedside baby ... "

Li Sanqiang knelt down in front of the men in black: "The boss forgave me, and the boss forgave me. I'm here on orders from the emperor. You can't do this! "

The man in black pointed to a picture on the stone wall and shouted angrily at Li Sanqiang: "You see it clearly. I am not the boss, he is the boss! "

San-qiang li trembling raised his head and understood everything. Suddenly, he felt sore all over and fainted to the ground screaming.

At this time, the man in black ordered: "Somebody, put this baby waist tag by the bed on him. He is greedy for people's money. Let him serve the people in the next life! "

It doesn't matter who is in the portrait. But according to the eunuchs who worked beside Kangxi, some important officials disappeared every year. Kangxi always smiled when officials told him these things.