What is the engagement custom of Quanzhou Quangang? How did I hear that my relatives came to eat engagement wine and gave him red envelopes?

Men are old, and women are old. Marriage etiquette is not only a lifelong event, but also highly valued by families and society. China ancient marriage etiquette has "six rites". These six ceremonies are accepting gifts (proposing marriage), asking names (asking women's names), Najib (getting engaged), accepting gifts (giving gifts), inviting a date (telling the wedding date) and welcoming (getting married). Six rites stipulate the basic procedure of marriage. Although it has experienced a long history, it is still followed by generations. Although the modern folk in Quangang do not literally do the Six Rites, from the actual activities, the contents of the Six Rites are already included.

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Marriage in feudal society abides by "parents' orders and matchmakers' words", and the family has children, which is the crown? The suitor came to the door. There used to be a matchmaker who specialized in matchmaking, and so did Quangang. Traditionally, the so-called "matchmaker" is also temporarily held by close relatives, but it often refers to professional matchmakers. Most of these practitioners are middle-aged and elderly women, and Quangang people call them "matchmakers". Although free love is popular at present, there is still room for matchmakers in rural areas, and most of them are introduced by matchmakers first. At first, the two sides thought it was appropriate to fall in love again, but they also made many happy marriages.

In modern times, when people reach the age of 18, they are considered to have entered the marriageable age. The man's parents asked the matchmaker or relatives and friends to find a partner for their son and propose to the woman's parents. If both parties agree, the woman's parents will send her daughter's "birthday" to the man's house for marriage through a red paper matchmaker. The man was pressed in front of the ancestral wooden signboard in the hall or under the incense burner at home. Within three days, anyone who doesn't break a bowl or cup or burn his ears headless at home is called "three yen", depending on the woman's "eight-character head" and the object. Otherwise, return to "date of birth" to show that marriage negotiation cannot be carried out. Rejecting each other in this form, the woman feels that life should be like this, and she doesn't mind. There is also the custom of "being enemies with the zodiac", which is also a very important part. It is said that in civil marriage, tigers and dogs are incompatible, snakes and snakes are incompatible, horses and horses are incompatible, and so on. The zodiac is out of line, and both sides have scruples. Some people also ask fortune tellers to predict the birth dates of both men and women to see if their fates are the same or acceptable to each other. Of course, these are superstitious words and deeds. Young men and women in the new era are indifferent, and enlightened elders will not care.

exchange kisses

Blind date is commonly known as look. After a successful marriage, both men and women should investigate each other's family background, occupation and conduct. After reaching a basic agreement on marriage, the man usually asks for a "blind date". The date is decided by the matchmaker and the couple, and it will be held at the woman's house.

Blind date is the key to the success of marriage. The man prepares gifts and goes to the woman's house accompanied by relatives and matchmakers. The woman's house should clean the door and prepare tea to welcome guests. In this process, the woman wants to come out to worship tea, but in fact she is facing the man and his relatives; Relatives of the woman will also examine the man. Tuling and other places also have the custom of the woman going to the man's house for blind date. This is because the woman wants to see the man's family environment in person, so that she can know fairly well. There are also cases where the blind date does not reach the man's house or the woman's house, that is, both men and women choose a place and the matchmaker takes it to meet. After that, if both parties are satisfied, the next step is to choose an auspicious day to get engaged.

Engaged.

The engagement must be decided by the matchmaker, and the two sides "bargain" for money, bride price and burden. The more enlightened women's parents don't care about the amount and amount of money, while the more conservative ones are very harsh. Generally speaking, the amount of engagement money depends on the man's family, ranging from 20 thousand yuan to 40 thousand yuan. Generally, the load is 6-8 years, and most of them are 12 years. Generally, the pots are filled with noodles, pork, trotters (fishing village, yellow croaker) and other things with a predetermined weight. In the area of Jieshan Town at the junction of Quangang and Xianyou, due to the long-term influence of the customs of neighboring cities, the etiquette is relatively simple, and the employment fee is greatly reduced, only 3 to 6 loads. At present, with the improvement of material life, many physical objects are converted into cash delivery.

Turn it down. "Let nature take its course" is relatively simple. The man chooses an auspicious day, and the parties, relatives and matchmakers go to the woman's house to send some money as a "deposit". Earlier, the deposit was made in 82 yuan (the dialect "two" is homophonic with "word", and "82" means "eight characters", symbolizing a good birthday), and later it was raised to 8,200 yuan in 820 yuan with the price increase. Both parties exchange betrothal gifts, such as handkerchiefs, rings or necklaces given by the man to the woman, and rings or pens given by the woman to the man. The customs of each village are slightly different. If the woman's grandparents are alive and have brothers and sisters, the man must give them a New Year greeting, commonly known as "hanging a pocket". After the wedding, the marriage relationship between the two sides has been confirmed. On New Year's Day, most men's families have gifts for women's families.

Zoom in. This procedure can be said to be the relationship confirmation with civil "legal effect". The man should prepare a tray and give it to the woman three times. The first time is a "big gift", that is, enlarging the size, giving a certain amount of money and half the engagement fee. There should be pork and pig's feet in the tray. The woman can accept pork, but the pig's legs can't. It is customary to return them to the man. As the saying goes, "meat is for people to eat, bones are not for people to chew." Enlargement indicates that the wedding date is approaching, and the specific wedding date will be notified to the woman after the man chooses the date.

Send the sun. The second trip to the woman's house is "offering a Japanese dish", commonly known as "sending a grandson". Suntou dialect refers to the sun, and here refers to the date. "Seeing off the grandson" means that the man informs the woman of the wedding date, which is equivalent to the "invitation" ceremony in the ancient six ceremonies. Literally, it seems that in ancient times, men proposed the date of marriage to women, but this is not the case. The ancient Book of Rites explained the "invitation period" in this way: "The husband and father make the levy, which is an auspicious day for the next marriage month and the man's family. Today, men are modest, so they invite women.