Degang Guo's poem "Quiet Field"

Stand-up comedy static poem! At 20: 02 on July 30, 2006, it is everyone's habit to say stand-up crosstalk. You have to say a few "opening remarks" before you go on stage. Sometimes, I will also say a few words of "Dingtian Poetry", also called "calligraphy", just like singing the immortal, and you will "twist" on the stage; Or pingtan, sing "opening" first.

This is a poem, sometimes a few seven-character poems, sometimes a few "Xijiang Moon". Be sure to take a photo of "awakening wood" before you say it. Bang! How to wake Mu Na? Talking about books in the library, there was a "book sitting" who went early to have tea and chat. After a long time, the elder didn't open the book and he fell asleep. What should I do? I want to open a book here. Bang! As soon as he patted the log, he woke up, so it was called "waking the log". I have to say a few poems after this eye-catching shot. There is such a poem:

The Mid-Autumn Festival in August is white dew, and pedestrians on the road are desolate; The bridge is full of flowers and rice, and I miss it day and night. Not at ease, reading articles early in the morning; After ten years of hard study, you can only be wise and broad.

What's the name of this poem? It's called "Tibetan poems". How do you call it "Tibetan poems"? A prefix is followed by a suffix. Look at the first sentence "Mid-Autumn Festival in August" and the last word is "dew". Alas, the first word in the second sentence is also "Lu", and the word is copied and followed. The pedestrians on the road are bleak. The man said that if the third sentence is not connected, the word "small" can't be connected with the word "cool". Hey, you can connect it. You see, there is a word "small" under the word "cool", "small bridge flowing water, rice fragrance" "Thinking day and night", "Wo and Sun" read "Xiang". Hey, this is connected with the word "day" again! Think about it day and night. There is no peace in my heart. Below the word "think" is a word "heart". "If you are restless, you should read articles early in the morning". Isn't there a green word next to the word "static"? "Read articles early in the morning". The word "Zhang" in the article is finally a "ten", "ten years of studying hard at a cold window", "house" and "square". This is called "Tibetan poetry".

There are also books that say Jinger. There are scenery in spring, summer, autumn and winter. For example, it snows in winter. There are many poems about snow scene, but in our stand-up comedy, this poem about snow scene is different from other poems and words about snow scene. How come? His head is strange.

For example, "three visits to the thatched cottage" in "The History of the Three Kingdoms". I never met Zhuge Liang's father-in-law, Huang Su, and wrote a song of songs, which was a snow scene. The word goes like this:

One night, the north wind was cold, Wan Liyun was thick, and it was snowing all over the sky, improving the old country. The scenery on the back is space, and it is suspected that it is Yulong Dou. Flying in proportion, all over the universe in an instant. Riding a donkey across a small bridge, sighing that plum blossoms are fragrant.

Alas, this snow scene is well written, but it is a little worse than the snow scene we said in cross talk. Because of what, our snow scene is snow but not snow. There is not a word "snow" in this poem. But you can figure it out, hey! It's snowing I said, listen:

There is a black splash in the sky, which falls like white flour, but it is more rushing than cotton, like a willow planting flowers. Black dogs are white and white dogs are swollen; The grave is always bigger than the steamed bread, and the wellhead is a big hole.

Listen, is it snowing? It's snowing "Black dog white", the snow falls on the black dog. Can it not be white? "The white dog is swollen", the white dog itself is white, and it looks very big with a layer of snow! It's like swelling up.

When we say we are going to sing a poem, there must be a joke in it. There was a joke in this poem just now.

What are "big truth" and "big lie"? Just a coke for you. You are like a big lie. There is not a word of truth. Here's the thing:

The twelfth lunar month is 30 bright, and the treetops are still windy. After only blowing one street, the egg made a big hole! Nail the egg and sew the wheel. I've never seen anything so fresh. Bugs are kept in their own confinement room and fed to a big bear!

Listen, there is not a word of truth!

There is also a kind of "inverted poem", which is also a big lie.

North-South Street runs east-west, and people bite dogs at the crossroads. They pick up dogs and cut bricks, but bricks bite their hands. There was a 19-year-old man who drank lotus root with wine in his mouth. He has never seen such a thing since he was a child. Three wheels are pulling a train.

Hey! Does this look like it to you? !

In addition, when I was performing in the theater, I also said a sentence from this book:

Swallows eat and float around the world, building nests for their children and grandchildren; In the end, I ate it thousands of times, for fear that my descendants would not have enough to eat. Xiaoyan has to keep it for several days and has feathers on her arms. I forgot my parents' upbringing and spread my wings and flew away. Fly to the wild and meet a civet cat that avoids mice. Chew the belt bones together, but Xiaoyan's life is lost!

After a few words, I won't say much. Next, I'm going to play a song to wake up Jin Duo. Drunken Lohan-Biography of Jigong! Yesterday, it was said that Gan Kun stole mice-Hua Yunlong and Gu Zian would (1) stab a young woman at night. The Taishan Tower killed Qin An during the day, entered Qin Xiangfu at night, and stole the exquisite white jade bracelet of Prime Minister Qin. The Prime Minister was furious and ordered Zhao, Du Zhenying and Elder Jigong to catch Hua Yunlong.

This is not nonsense!

Why not? I mean stand-up comedy. You asked me to tell a story. That's ... that won't work!

That one said, you were familiar with these words just now, ah, I learned so many words.

There is such a sentence in the book that it is ridiculous to listen:

Heaven and earth are mysterious, and the universe is muddy. One year, August 15th was spring. What happened that year was so strange that it was scary to mention it. Eggplants are planted with garlic, and old watermelons become gold nuggets. Yabajie Youchun rode a bicycle, looked at Nandian, smiled, but burst into tears. She cried with one eye, smiled with the other, and cried, Cheng Jin Yao, the husband of beautiful boy! You died miserably, just because of the big sky. Liu Bowen killed you. Angry at Mrs. Huang San, I shouldn't have killed Pan Qiaoyun with a Grenade. A mess of hodgepodge, looking down, three halls gather together-Doulton!

Look, I haven't said cross talk yet. Just saying this opening remark amused everyone.

And the book in front of Huang:

It is very hot in the dog days of June, and there is a Zhangjiawan in JD.COM. The old couple were having dinner in the hospital when a fly came. The fly took a grain of rice, and when the old man got angry, he chased him to Sichuan. My wife stayed at home for three months, but the book didn't come and the letter didn't pass. I hired a fortune teller to do the math. The fortune teller said, "Stop as the fortune teller said-the old man's trip is a waste of money, and he will pay the toll in anger!" " !

There are some words in the book that can be applied anywhere.

Far away, far away. It's not a gourd, it's not a gourd, it's a rush in the water. This one says it's like a football, and that one says it's like a urine bubble. People bet by the river that it's a bath for two.