Blind fortune-telling sketch daquan video

Excuse me, who has the complete script of essay fortune telling? If yes, please upload it to.

Zhao Haiyan: What have you been doing, getting up in the morning?

Zhao Benshan: I bought you breakfast. I bought it all back.

Zhao Haiyan: I eat this stuff every day. I've had enough. I won't eat it.

Zhao Haiyan: Sit down and walk.

Zhao Benshan: Why do you always send me out? What happened?

Zhao Haiyan: I want you to vacate this house. I want to use it.

Zhao Benshan: What?

Zhao Haiyan: Can't you guess?

Zhao Benshan: Another blind date?

Zhao Haiyan: That's right.

Zhao Benshan: Why did you bring this up at the end of the year? Who is this?

Zhao Haiyan: It wasn't my blind date. I just met a new sister.

Zhao Benshan: Who are your sisters dating?

Zhao Haiyan: Find a date for the sisters.

Zhao Benshan: Send someone to her place. What are you doing here?

Zhao Haiyan: That's right. Everyone goes to the man's house for blind date. The key point is that the man's house is not good, and people can't live in places above 1000 meters.

Zhao Benshan: That song again, right?

Zhao Haiyan: You are very clever. You guessed it.

Zhao Benshan: No, why are you always worried about him? He came on a blind date last year and jumped off the sixth floor. Why didn't he fall dead and come back?

Zhao Haiyan: Ah, why should I introduce him? Is he not your rival in love? You can rest assured if you arrange him out. Let me know as soon as you go out to dance yangko.

Zhao Benshan: You can really praise him like that and return my rival in love. This is what we have been doing. I'm not allowed in. I have already paid the toll, haven't I? So I can't go out?

Zhao Haiyan: It's not good not to go out, so you can really stay out. The lady must arrive first, so you can help receive her.

Zhao Benshan: How?

Zhao Haiyan: Say a good word and praise Xiao Song!

Zhao Benshan: Ah, praise him for being 1.7 meters tall. His face is white and clean, and his eyes are wide open. Oh, my God! We lied again.

Zhao Haiyan: Are you talking?

Zhao Benshan: What should I praise him for? Tell me.

Zhao Haiyan: Praise merit.

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Zhao Haiyan: Can you dance yangko? Will you be considerate? The spirit of being positive and optimistic is just a joke to others, do you?

Zhao Benshan: You go to a mental hospital and listen everywhere.

Zhao Haiyan: Praise him.

Zhao Benshan: OK, I like it. Is it our common wish to send Song away? Is it?

Zhao Haiyan: Nothing. The room is clean enough for burial. I'll get someone to clean the house!

Zhao Benshan: OK, I'm with him. It gets worse every day.

Sun Lirong: Is this Haiyan's house?

Zhao Benshan: Huh? Ah, coming!

Sun Lirong: Hello!

Zhao Benshan: Are you dating? Sit down.

Sun Lirong: What about Haiyan?

Zhao Benshan: Didn't you meet me when I first went out?

Sun Lirong: That's interesting. I hid.

Zhao Benshan: Sit down. It's okay to sit there. Can I put it here (take Sun Lirong's clothes) for you? How do you know Haiyan?

Sun Lirong: We met in the choir. Haiyan always taught me to dance yangko, so I figured it out. Do I dance yangko or not?

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, don't be awkward. That thing hurts easily.

Sun Lirong: What did you hurt? I don't walk on stilts either? You can't beat me.

Zhao Benshan: He didn't walk on stilts, but I feel hurt. I was hurt by dancing yangko.

Sun Lirong: What's that for?

Zhao Benshan: Stop nagging. Did Haiyan introduce you to the situation here?

Sun Lirong: I haven't introduced it in detail. What else should I introduce? This is obvious.

Zhao Benshan: You don't choose his size, do you?

Sun Lirong: The size is fine.

Zhao Benshan: Come on, stand up and let me see how tall you can be.

Sun Lirong: Big Brother is too direct. We played as soon as we met.

Zhao Benshan: Then stand up! Let me measure it.

(Zhao reaches from Sun's head to his chest with his hand)

Zhao Benshan: Gee, he has to add a booster pad and eight insoles.

Sun Lirong: There is no need to add insoles. Size is not an issue.

Zhao Benshan: Size is not an issue. What about the black spots?

Sun Lirong: Black looks strong and white looks healthy.

Zhao Benshan: What if there is no house?

Sun Lirong: The house is very nice. I have a house. I am alone now. (Pause) I live in a house of 100 square meters.

Zhao Benshan: Well, on your terms, black is not a problem, nor is small. This means that there is no problem, so I can solve it with him.

Sun Lirong: What about you, big brother?

Zhao Benshan: OK, I'll wash some fruit for you. You go to the back room for a while. She will be back soon. Go to the back room.

Zhao Haiyan and Song Xiaobao.

Zhao Haiyan: Song, Song, you piece of shit. You are at home, so you must back down. Let's go.

Song Xiaobao: Haiyan, you said my heart was pounding, but my throat was narrow and thick.

Zhao Haiyan: If it is over, what are you afraid of? It's just a blind date If it doesn't work, that woman won't eat you!

Song Xiaobao: I'm not afraid of my wife. I'm afraid of your cousin!

Zhao Haiyan: Why are you afraid of him?

Song Xiaobao: Does he still live in the back room?

Zhao Haiyan: Yes.

Song Xiaobao: Hey, Haiyan, can you find a way to get rid of him? I'll talk to Shan, the inner woman?

Zhao Haiyan: Would you stop worrying so much? Your cousins are very nice. They all put in a good word for you.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, is that right?

Zhao Haiyan: Stop dawdling and come in. I'm back!

Zhao Benshan: Oh, here we are! Who is this?

Song Xiaobao: Me!

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: It's Song.

Zhao Benshan: Why do you wear glasses? Are your eyes broken?

Song Xiaobao: No, Haiyan told me. Wearing glasses doesn't look like a diploma.

Zhao Benshan: Hehe, what's the temperature? Imai, you don't have lenses here!

Song Xiaobao: See how you always expose me!

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, this woman is nice. Stop pretending. This is an opportunity that should be seized.

Zhao Haiyan: Coming?

Zhao Haiyan: How was the chat?

Zhao Benshan: I laid it.

Zhao Haiyan: There, Li Rong!

Ah, Yan, you are back. What are you hiding for? Who is this?

Song Xiaobao: Hello, let me introduce myself. Me, Haiyan and I are partners, dancing yangko together. Haiyan, why do you think I have problems recently? I can't sleep in the middle of the night, so I have been reading for a long time. I have been fascinated by those three countries recently. You said that the Tang Priest in it made me angry, so I wouldn't let the Monkey King beat that white. If you ask me, the most rare thing inside is inside (that). Do you think it's Haiyan? Ha ha ha ha ha (laughs). . .

Zhao Benshan: Come on, come on ... What are you looking at? Look at the rope! Reading picture books?

Zhao Haiyan: Too much reading!

Song Xiaobao: No, it's irritating!

Zhao Benshan: Tell you what, have a good talk with her, OK?

Zhao Haiyan: What's in it ... Li Rong, you are chatting in this room. (Towards Zhao Benshan) Go to the back room!

Sun Lirong: Yan Er, let's talk face to face about anything!

Zhao Haiyan: No, you two talk first! I'll talk to him first. Go!

Zhao Benshan: Gee, I haven't been in this house for a year!

Song Xiaobao: What's your name?

Sun Lirong: You call me Li Rong!

Song Xiaobao: Rong Er ... I'm jing elder brother!

Zhao Benshan: Why did you change your surname?

Song Xiaobao: You AE! Ha ha ha ha (laughs) ...

Sun Lirong: You are so funny, hehehe. ...

Song Xiaobao: Just kidding, just kidding. Come on, let me see ... Oh, big brother!

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Song Xiaobao: Have you noticed?

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing with flowers? What's the matter?

Song Xiaobao: Have you noticed? Look at her. How happy she is! Look at that! Alas, the heaven is full, and Fiona Fang in the earth pavilion has fine features.

Sun Lirong: It's windy these two days, and nothing has been blown.

Song Xiaobao: You don't have to wipe it. You seem to have forgotten your husband's photo ... How many teenagers died in your old man?

Zhao Benshan: Why did you die for so many years? What is this?

Song Xiaobao: Cousin, when I say "I got rich", I mean "I forgot" and forgot my husband's "I forgot", hehehehehe. .

Zhao Benshan: Forgot?

Sun Lirong: That's interesting. Never mind ... old man, it's gone! It's been years.

Song Xiaobao: That old man in Wang Fu looks like a dead man. I have to read his palm.

Sun Lirong: Haiyan, look at you. Just introduce the object. Why do you need a fortune teller?

Zhao Haiyan: Gee, sister, you have poor understanding. He is not a fortune teller. Well, he knows a lot, is knowledgeable and reads accurately! Look at it. line

Song Xiaobao: (Interrupting) It will be mixed.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, look at it. (Holding Zhao Haiyan's hand and reading palm)

Zhao Benshan: Yes,

Song Xiaobao: This is your love line. Prove that your old man is in his mid-thirties and has no land. When he is 467, you will be 467 this year.

Sun Lirong: Forty-six.

Song Xiaobao: Look again! Ha ha ha ha ... (laughs) Our life is so special! You see, you are the fate of water, I am the fate of wood, and the bottom of the boat is also the fate of wood. I am not afraid of your blisters, but don't make it too big. Don't push me into the back room. The eldest brother in the inner room is the fire of life, and then I will be burned to death. You said you were laughing, but you didn't laugh, hahahaha (laughing) ...

Zhao Benshan: Ha ha ha ... This is a flower. This is a flower for you. Take them! Didn't you believe in constellations last year? How can this be a life?

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, that was last year. Last year I believed in the constellation, and this year I believe in the five elements (háng).

Sun Lirong: That's the five elements.

Song Xiaobao: (Applause) Say yes! (Laughter ...) Whatever you say, Jin Mu, fire, water and earth, every 60 years. Jin Kemu, Mu, Tuke water, water, etc. ...

Zhao Benshan: You hit me!

Song Xiaobao: I'm blind. We are not a couple. How can we get rid of you? What is your life like?

Zhao Benshan: I am a bad karma!

Song Xiaobao: You see, you are doomed to die. Brother, you gave birth to me!

Zhao Benshan: Oh, my God, who should I tell to give birth to you black thing? exactly ...

Zhao Haiyan: Song, go to the upper room and talk to your big brother. My sister is fine?

Song Xiaobao: Good.

Zhao Benshan: All parties agree?

Sun Lirong: Good.

Zhao Benshan: Not too dark, is it?

Sun Lirong: It's white.

Song Xiaobao: Are you talking about teeth? That's obvious. Let me tell you a story, sister. Listen: One night that year, it was dark and there was nothing to do. I went out for a walk. I walked under the street lamp and saw a woman, so I grinned at him. The woman took one look at me and ran away, shouting as she ran. Oh, my God, damn it! Whose teeth are good? They floated out by themselves! Then I stopped going out in the middle of the night after the Five Classics for fear of scaring people. Ha ha ha ha ha (laughs). . . .

Zhao Haiyan: Song, get over there!

Zhao Benshan: Come on, don't be so messy. I tell you, you must master this woman. Don't you see? Very educated. Educated, you know? Oh, you can't do that. You have to practice speaking, not just spitting! Improve their cultural quality. Tell you what, I'll teach you a poem and read more! Didn't you say you read? This is Gorky's poem.

Song Xiaobao: Which yangko team is Gorky from?

Zhao Benshan: Soviet Yangko Team!

Song Xiaobao: Have you ever participated in a competition?

Zhao Benshan: Yes.

Song Xiaobao: Who is Gorky?

Zhao Benshan: Golf is his big brother.

Song Xiaobao: Who is golf?

Zhao Benshan: Golf is just like you. I'll walk you out with a pole! Why don't you know anything? That's a poet and writer!

Song Xiaobao: Brother, are you still worried about me for this culture? !

Zhao Benshan: This kind of culture is terrible without culture.

Zhao Benshan: Here, take this poem. This is Gorky's Haiyan. Come on!

Song Xiaobao: Brother, give me a sample.

Zhao Benshan: I'll teach you how to recite poems later. You must be confident. Chest resonance, oral cavity resonance, brain cavity resonance, several resonance together, understand?

Song Xiaobao: Ah. ...

Zhao Benshan: (reciting) Ah! ! !

Sun Lirong: What happened?

Zhao Haiyan: Here comes the game. What about training?

Zhao Benshan: On the vast sea, dark clouds are gathering ... (Stop)

Song Xiaobao: Gail!

Zhao Benshan: (laughs) Can you still read? The storm is gathering dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel proudly flying ... (stretching its voice) ... neck!

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God.

Zhao Haiyan: What are you doing? What are you doing? You said that the two sisters in this room are always saying hello to me? Still calling me arrogant?

Zhao Benshan: What does it have to do with you? Being a neighbor with you is really painful. Why is there no culture here? Poetry, remember? (To Song Xiaobao) The most important thing is to shout out the first sentence! (to Zhao Haiyan) It's okay. I let him practice his culture. It's okay. Very cultured! (To Song Xiaobao) Keep showing!

(walks up to Sun and shouts) Ah! ……

Zhao Haiyan: (horrified) Sister.

Song Xiaobao: Brother, look at the big sister shaking with fear!

Zhao Benshan steals pleasure.

Sun Lirong: Gaha scared me. I'm not ready. What the hell are you looking at? ?

Song Xiaobao: Don't be afraid, I'll read you a golf poem!

Zhao Benshan: Ki!

Song Xiaobao: The foundation of golf!

Zhao Benshan: Gorky's husband ... (Helpless) Poetry! !

Song Xiaobao: Poetry!

Zhao Benshan: Read!

Song Xiaobao: Ah, in Changtu. ...

Zhao Benshan: Gee ... you have been in Siping for some time. How about going to Tieling? ..... endless!

Song Xiaobao: Cang ... Mang!

Zhao Benshan: Yes!

Song Xiaobao: On the vast sea ... the wind (stretching sound) is gathering dark clouds; Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel, which is trying to bridge the gap for us, so that we can meet and fall in love here ... Oh, my God, big brother, what are you doing! Ha ha ha ha (laughs). . .

Sun Lirong: Why is it so interesting, Song?

Song Xiaobao: I said, big brother, you are putting ducks on the shelves!

Zhao Benshan: What the hell? This is a good poem for you to read like this! Oh, my God.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister, Xiao Song is very humorous. Optimism is always like this, haha!

Zhao Benshan: I said, anything to say?

Song Xiaobao: There's nothing to say.

Zhao Benshan: There's nothing to say. Then it's settled, okay? What's in it (that) ... Haiyan lends you this room for all meals, ok? Let's have some!

Sun Lirong: No more meals!

Zhao Haiyan: By the way, what shall we eat here? It's not my fault. How romantic it is for us to eat and talk when we go out! Is it?

Zhao Benshan: (to Song Xiaobao) Cherish it, ah!

Zhao Haiyan: Sister, see you in the Yangko Team another day. Listen to your good news. Let's go! (Turning to Zhao) If you stay in your room, you can't go there.

Sun Lirong: Brother, where are we going to eat?

Song Xiaobao: Anywhere!

Sun Lirong: What are you doing outside?

Song Xiaobao: Didn't you say we were going out to talk alone?

Sun Lirong: So your life is over?

Song Xiaobao: Hmm!

Sun Lirong: These are all for you. Go home! (To Zhao Benshan) Brother, let's go!

Zhao Benshan: I'm not going.

Song Xiaobao: What manners do you think you have?

Zhao Benshan: Nothing. You two get out. I eat at home.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God. ...

Sun Lirong: I think we all agree that at this age, you are welcome, so you can stay with me.

Song Xiaobao: Haiyan, how could I be cheated! Who was this woman introduced to?

Zhao Haiyan: Zhao Laohan, spread out your hands!

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: I told you to spread your hands! !

Zhao Benshan: I said ... she caught me.

Zhao Haiyan: Sister, you gaha, you pass, you gaha? Zhao Laohan, what do you mean?

Zhao Benshan: What do I mean?

Zhao Haiyan: I asked you what you mean.

Zhao Benshan: What do you mean? !

Zhao Haiyan: Me. ...

Zhao Benshan: I don't understand. Do you think I'm in the way in the bathroom? Find a woman to shake me away. Are you two happy here? Is this something unknown? Who can't see it?

Zhao Haiyan: That's a dirty lie.

Zhao Benshan: Why did I spray you?

Zhao Haiyan: You have no conscience. Did I mention that?

Zhao Benshan: What did you say?

Zhao Haiyan: Our divorce is true. I can't help it There is no such thing as a toilet in the house. Who are you looking for? I've never stood in your way like that. I don't want to introduce people. Are you here?

Zhao Benshan: Why should I pry it in? !

Zhao Haiyan: How did you do it without prying your hand? !

Zhao Benshan: From you! How should I know?

Sun Lirong: I see ... Yaner, I totally misunderstood! The man you introduced me to ... really? (referring to Song Xiaobao)

Song Xiaobao: Not so good!

Sun Lirong: This is your wife?

Zhao Haiyan: Yes!

Zhao Benshan: No, I'm not. We are neighbors. I've been living outside.

Oh, Yan, I'm not talking about you. Why don't such a good old man cherish it? How's this? You two are divorced?

Zhao Haiyan: Ah!

Zhao Benshan: I was divorced a long time ago.

Sun Lirong: Big Brother, she doesn't want you. I want you. She's always with me. Let's go!

Zhao Haiyan: You spread it.

Sun Lirong: I don't think you want it.

Zhao Haiyan: Zhao Laohan, I dare you to leave this house.

Zhao Benshan: Sister, thank you very much. Today was a misunderstanding. Brother is not blessed! I've been cheap all my life, and this heart is on this woman, hanging on me. We can't arrive on time. How about you ... (Song Xiaobao) This guy is very good. Do you think you can ...? .

Sun Lirong: Look at this place, big brother. I feel sorry for you. Let me leave you a business card. You can come to my place if you are angry. We can't be married. I will support you like a brother. Ah, here.

Zhao Haiyan: I'll keep it for you.

Zhao Benshan: Give me your business card!

Sun Lirong gave Zhao Haiyan a business card.

Sun Lirong: Yan Er, I see.

Song Xiaobao: Anything else? Can I have one?

Sun Lirong: Go away! So ... Yaner, I'm going back. Anyway, I thank you! In the future, you can find me a wife and choose for me like my eldest brother. Don't introduce me to things that have nothing to do with human beings. I am so angry!

Zhao Benshan: Sister, you have to take this thing.

Sun Lirong: Tell Haiyan to bring it to me later. I won't.

Song Xiaobao: I'll give it back to her later!

Zhao Haiyan: I tell you, Zhao Laohan, from now on, you can't leave this house even if you are a mummy! This sister's place ... (turns to Song Xiaobao) Xiao Song, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry again ... once a year!

Song Xiaobao: Nothing, I'm used to it! Haiyan, you can have a snack. I can introduce you to someone. I think you are full of ability, so you are not productive! I'll tell you about the landing of Haiyan, this one, that one, that one, that one, and that one. I think ... that is to say, you sent me a text message, and you saw that your color faded.

Zhao Benshan: (Reciting) On the vast sea, the wind gathers dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel ... you can eat snacks! export