Have you ever seen through a person for a moment because of one thing?

My former college roommate.

Sleep six. Before the military training in September, there was no course arrangement. Everyone has more free time except for group activities. One of the girls, probably a high school bully, failed in the exam and has been unwilling. But because of extra efforts, universities are also studying hard. Besides group activities, I always go to the library to study alone. Group activities report the lecture with a book. Therefore, roommates get acquainted, play together and chat together without her participation. So at first, she was isolated by her roommate. She even felt it herself. When walking together, I mentioned that my roommate didn't like her very much.

I don't like her at all, and I understand that she wants to study and is almost isolated. Because I do. My attitude has always been that everyone wants to be better, and learning is of course a matter of course. People who often laugh at or even take the lead in isolating learners have mental problems. Of course, I have never expressed my attitude towards these things in the dormitory. Others have their likes and dislikes about values, and I have no right to interfere. At that time, the only uncomfortable thing about getting along with Xueba (just uncomfortable, not annoying) was that I was not used to it every time she tried to identify with her roommate, but I also laughed it off. So at that time, the schoolmaster was in danger of being isolated by the dormitory people. But later, when everyone was interested in becoming beautiful (nail polish was popular among girls in the class at that time), she took out her whole set for everyone to use, and later she always shared snacks and milk given by her parents, unconsciously resolving the potential danger of being isolated. Just like playing with friends when I was a child, when no one likes to isolate her, sharing food with you can resolve the crisis. Even a small leader will point the finger at another child who is obviously hostile to orphans. Then there was another round of hostility.

People, that's it. Once the value provided by the other party meets its own needs, it can bring benefits to itself. Then your previous judgment and value orientation can be ignored. Who doesn't want to benefit?

Of course, this is not what I want to say. Only the above contents, without providing details and minor disputes, can not really reflect this view. Well, actually, that's not what I want to say.

Fear will leave a deep shadow in people's hearts.

Our bedroom may be the same as many six-person bedrooms. Two people are on duty and take turns cleaning twice a day. In addition to the weekly collective cleaning, the daily duty scope is sweeping the floor and taking out the garbage. A month later, because of one thing, there was a confrontation in the dormitory for the first time. It's just that Zhengfang is not the person in charge of Xueba and the dormitory. But me and the head of the dormitory.

One night, I arranged clothes (upper berth) on the bed and put them in the cupboard. I was afraid that I would mess up the folded clothes, so I asked my roommate C to pass it to me because she was standing at the table. I am really a person who is afraid of disturbing others but always bothers others. So remember the help of others and thank them. ? When I asked C to pass it to me, I noticed that B, the dormitory manager who had been playing with his mobile phone, kept staring at my clothes when he handed it to C. Then he looked at his mobile phone again and said to me, "XX, I'm not talking about you. Can you stop disturbing others like this every time? Didn't you see how busy C is these two days? " In the past, we all affectionately called our roommates nicknames. ) I may think differently from girls my age. My first reaction was not to answer her words, but to agree with what she said, even though she said that in a bad tone. I said, "Well, that's good. I think everyone should say everything so that we can solve the problem better. " C stood at the edge of the table. I was afraid that the folded clothes would be messed up, so I asked her to pass them to me. ? However, I don't always do this, so tell me, what else do I always trouble others, and you say I can easily change it? "b said," like this! And on duty! Every time A sweeps alone, we help her sweep when we see it, but you don't. "

If my previous attitude was moderate and rational, I found it ridiculous to hear such untrue remarks against me, while B's attitude was always impolite, and my next tone was not moderate. I explained, "That's because I was busy preparing for an activity, so I was on duty all day and night." Because I leave the earliest every time, I will take down the garbage first (that is, A only needs to sweep the floor). Come back at night, I'm on duty. What do you mean I'm not worth it every time? "B was completely angry and his voice improved a lot." Are you worth it? One person says you are not worth it, but we all think so! ! I didn't even see you on duty! ! " ? I was angry, too. I am on duty. Everyone obviously came back together. Nobody noticed that I was on duty at night? "What do you mean by" all "?Don't I have to report to you every time I am on duty? ? You can ask A. Every time I'm on duty, I tell A that she's not on duty at night and I'll do it. "B Because I am angry, I may think it doesn't mean anything to me, and say," Yes, yes, you are the best! "Everything you said is right! ! Come on! ! ! "Then she cried, turned and ran to the corridor outside the dormitory. Then everyone in the dormitory ran out to comfort her and gave me a word,,, to stop the fight: "XX, you talk less!" " "

Unexpectedly, sitting alone in bed is a mess. My tears also fell and I felt very wronged. But fortunately, they are all out and won't see me cry.

I didn't expect a few minutes.

First, B suddenly dropped a sentence in the argument, "Yes, yes, you are the best! Everything is right! ! Come on! ! ! "Forced termination in this childish and rude language way without solving the problem.

Second, I am on duty every night, and I specifically told A not to be on duty in front of my roommate every night, but everyone still accused me of not being on duty.

Thirdly, when I told A repeatedly that I was on duty every night, would A never explain it fairly to others? And that night, everyone was present, including A. Why didn't she say something fair? Even if they are close, aren't they willing to be fair? Still afraid to say? Or, in the worst case, does a person who complains in similar language appear in front of them so often?

I still want to believe in the bright side. With the last hope, I scraped away the condemnation. Before going to bed, I saw A holding a mobile phone, so I had a private chat with A and said, "Little A, you know I'm on duty every day, right?" ? Then sadly wait for her reply. After a long time, thirty or forty minutes, it was past zero. She replied, "Don't think too much, go to bed early."

That's it. I don't expect an apology, but I don't even have an explanation. Silence is silence.

(Actually, before this, I haven't resumed the time for two people to be on duty together, and I noticed some attitudes about them on duty for several nights. What I want to say here is that I have actually considered this issue. In order not to make people feel that I am not on duty, every night when everyone goes back to the dormitory, I will say to A in front of everyone, "Don't be on duty at night, I will come at night and you will be on duty during the day." Of course, when others didn't notice, I don't believe that in the week when A and I were on duty separately, no one didn't notice and no one didn't see me on duty. Going out early, whether I am on duty or someone else's, I will throw away the garbage. Even if it is officially isolated later, I will take it away as long as it can be taken away at the door.

In fact, I realized their attitude towards me in this respect for two days.

Because the dormitory is super small and crowded, * * * uses a table, so you have to walk sideways. So I always wait for everyone to go to bed at night, and then I'm on duty. One night, after I said I was on duty, but before everyone went to bed, A picked up a broom and began to sweep. As soon as I saw it, I stopped her and told her not to sweep, saying that I was on duty at night and I was not busy during the day. She didn't show careless and enthusiastic sweeping at that time, but she looked innocent. Say falteringly, alas, it doesn't matter, sweep it. At this time, another roommate, D, went to the edge of A, whispered a few words to her, and then tapped A with his hand. I saw it in my eyes. Suddenly I feel that the A section is very high and the D section is also very high. I got up at once, went over to take the broom from A, and even before everyone went to bed, I began to sweep it. This is what I noticed before the conflict. )

Back to the topic, how did I realize human nature?

In fact, not for a moment. I usually like thinking, tracing back some profound things behind the phenomenon, and I also like psychology. Many friends come to me with troubles, and I can hit the nail on the head, even the parts they don't realize deeply.

Having said that, what is human nature I want to say?

In fact, I understand that A didn't even stand up to be fair, even though I was disappointed. A's behavior stems from his fear of the danger that was almost isolated before. So I blame her and sympathize with her. It is this fear that makes her afraid to say justice. In that case at that time, a fair word would only hit B in the face. And B (actually D is also) is the core figure in the dormitory. To be fair, you will definitely make a "wrong team" and offend them. What's more, B is speaking for A's "justice" (I have always been right, A is convinced that she complains about me in front of them). Besides, if A is fair at this time, isn't he hitting himself in the face? So she was silent, always silent.

Finally, a person may choose silence by instinct to protect himself from being on the wrong side, being isolated and not saying anything fair. Even if it is directly related to yourself, you have to pay the price after things are clarified. This may be cowardice, but I think it is human nature.