Funny fortune-telling quotations _ funny opening remarks of fortune-telling quotations

Saipan fairy

There is a fortune teller who calls himself "Sai banxian". It is said that you don't have to ask him to know whether it is good or bad.

One day, a sad old man came to tell his fortune. "Sai banxian" said thoughtfully: "I think you are hiding something!" The old man shook his head.

"Is the child unfilial?"

The old man still shook his head.

"Did you lose your wife in your later years?"

Still shaking his head.

"Sai banxian" couldn't guess, and he was a little flustered. He said a lot of unlucky things in one breath, but the old man shook his head. "Sai banxian" was really at the end of his rope, so he begged, "Why on earth did you come to tell your fortune?"

"Please calculate when I can cure this rickets?"

The living god is the true god.

One year, during the drought, a man went to a living fairy to beg for rain. The living immortal lit a wick and handed him a sealed note that said, "It's raining, or it's useless." As soon as the man got home, it began to rain heavily. He opened the sealed note and read, "It rained today." The man exclaimed, "Ah! The living immortal is the true god! "

There was a man in his thirties who still failed in his career, couldn't find a job, couldn't do his career, and never made any money.

So, go to a fortune teller and calculate your life.

"Ah, you will be poor to forty years old."

Hearing this, the man's eyes lit up and he thought there was a turn for the better. He immediately asked, "Then what?"

"Then oh …" The fortune teller looked at his chart and said, "Then get used to it! ! "

Fortune teller: "Hey, how did you decide not to give money?"

Customer: "What, don't you understand that I have no money?"

A man went to tell a fortune, and the fortune teller wrote him a note and said to him, your life is.

"How rich and careful no disaster! ! "The man left happily after hearing this. ...

Every few days, he was hit by a car on the road and broke his leg. After he got well, he was very angry and went to the theory of fortune telling:

Didn't you say a few days ago that I was as rich as an enemy, as expensive as an enemy, and didn't die of a great disaster? How could I be hit by a car and break my leg! !

As a result, the fortune teller picked up the note and said to him slowly and methodically, Sir, you probably didn't pay attention.

Actually, I mean ... your life is "be careful if there is no catastrophe! ! "

A young lady asked a blind man to tell her fortune in the street. The fortune teller touched her finger and said to her, "Miss, your life is not good!" " "The young lady listened to the words of the blind man and quickly asked," Why do you say that my life is not good? The blind fortune teller replied, "Because you have a bad omen!" " "The young lady was anxious and said," Do you want me to take off my bra? " The fortune teller replied, "No, as long as you get rid of the bad omen, there will be two big waves in your life!" " "

There is a man in his thirties who still has no career, no job, no career and no money.

So, go to a fortune teller and calculate your life. ....

"Ah, you will be poor to forty years old ..."

Hearing this, the man's eyes lit up and thought there was a turn for the better. He immediately asked, and then what?

"Then oh …" The fortune teller looked at his chart and said, "Then get used to it! ! "