The second child takes my surname, and my husband says I am too much. If I insist on doing it, I will get a divorce. Is it too much?

I saw this sentence on the Internet:

"Today's society is really unfriendly to women. It is not good to ask for a bride price. It's not good to sell your daughter to buy a house and write your name. It is not good to squeeze men. It's not good to raise a child by a man. It is not good to have a mother's surname, because it is a tradition. It's not good to go back to your mother's house on New Year's Eve because you are married. "

Behind the restrictions of rules and regulations, people sigh that being good to men is good, and being bad to men is bad. In the final analysis, this society's unkindness to women is actually a disrespect for women.

Sometimes I think, whether in love or marriage, men and men will really be different. The man who loves you, tries his best to spoil you and dislike you will only have himself in his eyes, and will not treat you as a wife at all, but as a free nanny for him and his family.

"It's really hard for a woman to want to be crowned! It's even harder for the woman's parents. When you have a daughter, you are called childless, and you want your grandchildren to be old-fashioned with their surnames. "

Indeed, in most people's minds, a child's surname should be taken after his father's surname, and a child's surname should convey a sense of belonging to a family, but this does not mean that a child cannot take his mother's surname.

In fact, for a woman, what she cares about is not whether the child's surname follows her or not. What she cares about is whether her husband treats her as an outsider, whether men respect her, and whether she has a position at home.

02

On the blind date, Huang was only 23 years old. She wanted to wait a few years to find a partner by herself, but it backfired and she couldn't stand her parents' carrot and stick. Huang chose to agree: marry the young man whose parents chattered in front of her all day.

Huang's current husband, that is, the young man who was often mentioned by his parents at that time, is the only child in the family, and his parents are both workers. Thinking that the two families had similar conditions and were suitable for living together, they got married.

As the only child in the family, Hui Hui's parents had helped her buy a house in the county before she got married. The original intention of parents to buy this house is to worry that Hui Hui's cultural level is not high, and that she will not get married.

At Hui Hui's wedding, her parents didn't mention the bride price to her husband's family. They just hoped that the couple could live a good life, but in the end, the husband's family offered a bride price of 50,000 yuan and helped to pay the down payment for the house where they now live.

In fact, Hui Hui has always believed that her parents-in-law are good-looking people, especially generous to others and stingy to herself, especially her mother-in-law.

Speaking of her mother-in-law, Hui Hui is full of resentment. In these years, Hui Hui has been bullied by her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law is particularly fond of finding fault and likes to make trouble. She only sees her "unknown" son.

Once, my father-in-law and mother-in-law came to visit Hui Hui and his wife by bus from their hometown. They have only been married for more than half a year. Therefore, Hui Hui specially took a few days off to entertain her father-in-law and mother-in-law.

In-laws spent the last few days here, and Hui Hui bought food and cooked alone. Sometimes I took them out to eat for fear that their cooking was not delicious, but even so, when she left, her mother-in-law left Hui Hui without a slap in the face, complaining that Hui Hui, the daughter-in-law, was incompetent in front of her son, saying that she worked so hard to help with housework and was not worth a meal.

But every time my parents come, they don't take time off to take care of them. They just have three meals a day. My parents are afraid of trouble. They choose simple meals and occasionally throw some money to the couple when they leave.

Such a contrast, a strong sense of gap makes Hui Hui feel more and more angry. He is an ungrateful man, and there is a man around him who always defends his mother. If his mother's words are heavy, he will be angry with himself, which will make Hui Hui angry.

03

A year later, Hui Hui became pregnant.

Because Hui Hui and her husband live near their parents' house, but it takes two hours to drive here from her husband's house, Hui Hui's mother takes care of her throughout her pregnancy.

While her mother was taking care of her pregnancy, Hui Hui's mother found a second-hand house for sale in the building where they lived. Considering that it is convenient to take care of Hui Hui's children in the future, they can take care of each other. Hui Hui's parents made a down payment and bought this second-hand house with a loan.

After Hui Hui gave birth to the child, her mother took care of the child alone, and her mother-in-law visited her grandson once every one or two months. But my mother-in-law loves to find fault with eggs and likes to go looking for trouble. Hui Hui's mother naturally doesn't get along with her.

Once my mother-in-law came here, just as Hui Hui's mother went back to her hometown to do business. During that time, Hui Hui was busy with the company and asked her husband to buy food and cook. Unexpectedly, after being seen by her mother-in-law, she talked about Hui Hui for several days.

When Hui Hui's mother came back, she ran to her and said, "I won't let my son do anything when he is at home. He can't do all these housework, otherwise what's the use of marrying a daughter-in-law I can count my son's life, and my son can honor his ancestors. "

As such a precious daughter, Hui Hui's mother's ears naturally could not hear such words, so she quarreled with her mother-in-law on the spot. Fortunately, Hui Hui was nearby and persuaded her in time.

After marriage, her mother-in-law was sent back to her hometown by Hui Hui, thinking that although her mother-in-law was difficult to get along with, she didn't often meet each other, which didn't affect the quality of her happy marriage. After eavesdropping on her mother-in-law calling her husband, she began to doubt her marriage.

At that time, my mother-in-law probably wanted to remind her husband not to let the second child take Hui Hui's surname, saying that she would tell her fortune, and the fortune teller told her that if there was a second child, Hui Hui's parents would definitely let the second child take her family's surname.

If she can barely accept her mother-in-law's previous behavior, it is because of her surname that she can't let go of this second child, which has always been a knot in her heart.

"Husband, make a request to you before giving birth to a second child. The second is my family name. This requirement is not too much. "

"No, this request is too much. My family and I can't promise. I can promise anything, but I can't promise this request. If you insist on doing this, then we will divorce! "

When Hui Hui found out that she was pregnant unexpectedly, she thought of what her mother-in-law had said to her husband before, and that her parents had been suffering with her in-laws all these years. She wanted to win her own breath and her parents' breath, so she took the initiative to mention the second child with her surname to her husband. I never thought that her husband's reaction was so fierce.

04

I saw a sentence a few days ago that described the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law particularly aptly.

"The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is definitely related to being a son. When the son is strong, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be humble, but it is easy to unite; The son is weak, the mother likes to come forward to protect, and the daughter-in-law will often be wronged and complain to her husband. Husband has no ability to solve it, only a headache. When a mother sees her son depressed, she will hate her daughter-in-law even more. "

In fact, many times, the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law does not mean that they are born together. In the final analysis, the point of interest conflict between them is always the man at home. If this man can hold a clear sense of proportion and is a reasonable person, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be said to be tense.

Hui Hui's mother-in-law has always said that this is their grandson, but has she ever taken care of the children? Who stipulates that women must do housework such as washing and cooking? A brainless husband even threatened to divorce?

In such a family, the child's surname is only the fuse of unhappy marriage. The stumbling of daily necessities can easily cause cracks in their marriage, because what women need in marriage is men's respect and understanding, not men's "male chauvinism" and husband's family's "self-interest".

Between husband and wife, the disappointment of either party is not achieved overnight, but accumulated in the dribs and drabs of life. In fact, whether children's surnames should be taken after their mothers' surnames or other issues, what women really need is men's attitude and their position in the family!