How to break up with a girl without hurting her, and how to break up without hurting each other.

Keywords: upper, middle and lower strategies under the great conflict

Theme: Women

Here's the thing:

First, my mother wants me to marry man next door. My mother is a foreigner, and so are my young people. So I can't marry a foreign country because of my mother anyway.

Second, I already have a boyfriend, and now my mother wants to tell a fortune, saying that we don't agree, and it will be very bad to be together.

To sum up, my mother and I are very different. I made it clear that I would never marry a foreign country, but my mother and others kidnapped me morally and said that I would take care of my mother and live in a foreign country.

So, dear Dada, my appeal is: how to keep my mother away from my marriage? At the same time, how can we reach a consensus with her-don't just use fortune telling to judge whether two people are suitable together? Ask da leng for help.

Cold love reply:

Your question is particularly typical. Many people have similar ideas-how can we accomplish something without hurting others?

For example, how can we break up with each other without hurting each other? How can I refuse not to hurt others? Why don't I hurt others, make them change and so on.

This is actually your hidden problem. You said we reached an agreement just to do something that wouldn't hurt her.

However, the problem itself is wrong. You know, there is no way to change one's mind without hurting others. Because the process of change is bound to be accompanied by injury. ,

There are three possibilities in all major conflicts.

The best policy is win-win, everyone finds a good way and finally reaches a consensus.

The middle policy is that either you are happy or your mother is happy.

The worst thing is to make them both unhappy.

Therefore, in the process of this game, we must realize that it is the best policy to reach a consensus without hurting others. But it is difficult to get the best policy in life, because the best policy is not to solve conflicts, but to solve them in advance in peacetime.

For example, before you find a boyfriend, you have a good discussion with your mother and have your own choice of life and feelings. You didn't have a boyfriend then. Maybe after the discussion, she will allow it. This is probably the best policy.

But now you have found it. At this point, you can get the best result as long as you avoid the worst result. China's policy is-either your mother is happy or you are happy. The best advice is to make yourself happy.

Illustrator | Shen Zhen, Hua Zhen visual designer

Without the permission of Huazhen, no organization or individual may use the illustrations in this article in part or in whole.