What are the main differences between men's moods?

The emotional differences between men and women are manifested in many aspects, which are not arranged by God at will, but have objective and profound social and historical roots and are the product of long-term social evolution and historical accumulation.

First, the value source of emotional differences between men and women

The most primitive and basic difference between men and women lies in the difference of physiological structure, which comes from the natural division of labor in reproduction. Women naturally play a leading role in the process of population production, and shoulder the main responsibility of bearing and nurturing. This natural division of labor between men and women spreads, expands, extends and develops to the social division of labor, thus forming the difference of value relationship between the two sexes, and then forming the emotional difference between the two sexes. In a word, the difference of value relationship produced by natural division of labor is the natural value source of gender emotional difference, and the difference of value relationship produced by social division of labor is the social value source of gender emotional difference.

In the early stage of human development, social productivity was very low and social division of labor was very weak. The objective factor that determines and affects the value relationship between men and women is only the natural division of labor. The two sexes have different responsibilities in reproductive activities. Men are responsible for hunting, and women are responsible for giving birth and raising children. Because predation requires greater labor intensity and more complicated and changeable labor content, this determines that men usually have higher emotional intensity and lower emotional stability; Because childbearing and parenting activities require less labor intensity and longer labor time, they need full patience and care, which determines that women usually have lower emotional intensity but higher emotional stability. But at that time, reproductive activities often only occurred in the breeding season, and most of the time men and women engaged in the same labor, so the emotional difference between men and women was very weak and short-lived.

With the development of social productive forces, material products are increasingly abundant, population production is increasingly active, and population quantity and quality are constantly improving. Women will spend more and more time and energy on bearing and raising children, so that the division of labor and cooperation between men and women in bearing activities will gradually expand in time and space, and the emotional differences between men and women will gradually run through all aspects of life and the whole process of life. With the continuous improvement of labor technology, the division of labor between men and women has become more and more clear, and the mode of production and lifestyle of "men are the masters outside and women are the masters inside" has gradually taken shape. The difference between men and women in the value relationship is becoming more and more obvious, so the emotional difference is becoming more and more obvious, and this difference gradually extends to all aspects of social life; The formation and development of private ownership make women gradually become men's private property, and women's value relationship is gradually attached to men's value relationship, which makes women derive a series of additional emotions such as dependence, inferiority, obedience, jealousy, vanity and conformity. It also allows men to derive a series of additional emotions such as self-confidence, dominance, possessiveness, rebellion and independence.

"Men dominate the outside and women dominate the inside" is still the basic family model in modern society, which fundamentally determines the basic framework of the value relationship between men and women and the basic framework of men and women's feelings. "Men dominate the external world" means that men will accept the role of stronger, more complex and more changeable value relations, which means that they can not only adapt to society, but also transform society, not only master and effectively use natural relations, but also master and effectively use various social relations; "Women are the masters of the family" means that women only need to accept the role of slight, lasting, simple and stable value relations, which means that they only need to adapt to society, master and effectively use social relations, especially the interests with men. This is the value source of emotional differences between men and women.

Second, the difference in emotional intensity between men and women.

Men's emotions are strong and short-lived, while women's emotions are mild and lasting. Men's love is in full swing, men's hatred is unforgettable, and men's emotions are sometimes as overwhelming as wild horses; Women's love is lasting and stable, and women's hatred is extensive and far-reaching. Although women's emotions are sometimes fierce, they are mostly superficial and formal. Her crying and laughing doesn't mean that she has a strong emotional reaction.

In the long process of human development, men play a major role in social production, engaging in high-intensity, high-intensity, high-risk hunting, fishing, animal husbandry, farming and other labor, and the resulting value relationship usually has a relatively strong changing trend. Women play a secondary role in social production, mainly engaged in low-intensity, high-patience, low-risk labor such as fruit picking, sewing and knitting, and raising livestock, and the resulting value relationship usually has a relatively stable changing trend.

Third, the differences between men and women in emotional details.

Men's emotions are rough, while women's emotions are delicate. Men usually don't pay attention to subtle interests, but only care about greater interests. Men are broad-minded and more tolerant of other people's shortcomings and mistakes, but they don't care about others from subtle aspects. Women are very concerned about the subtle changes in interest relations and the smaller interest relations. Women are narrow-minded and can't tolerate other people's shortcomings and mistakes, but they are easy to care about others from the nuances.

The value relationship owned by men usually has a strong changing trend, so men are more sensitive to the larger value relationship and its changes, with higher predictability and accuracy, and slower to the smaller value relationship and its changes, with lower predictability and accuracy; The value relationship owned by women usually has a stable changing trend, so women are more sensitive to smaller value relationships and their changes, with higher predictability and accuracy, and slower to larger value relationships and their changes, with lower predictability and accuracy.

Fourth, the differences between men and women in emotional flexibility.

Men's emotions come and go in a hurry; Women come and go leisurely. Men's love is easy to produce and disappear; Women's love is not easy to produce, but once produced, it is not easy to disappear. There are more men than women who like the new and hate the old, change their minds, be fickle and ungrateful; More women than men have unforgettable old relationships and broken relationships. Because of this, there are always many "spoony girls" in the world.

Most value relationships owned by men tend to change rapidly, while most value relationships owned by women tend to change steadily. Only when the changing speed of emotion corresponds to the changing speed of value relationship can we effectively guide and control our own thinking or behavior activities.

Fifth, the differences between men and women at the emotional level.

Women's emotions are superficial. They pay more attention to immediate, partial and low-level values, pay attention to superficial and formal interests, and it is difficult to consider their own development prospects from a long-term perspective. Men's emotions are grand and profound. They pay more attention to long-term, holistic and high-level interests, have lofty emotional goals and value pursuits, and have a broad mind and a grand career.

For a long time, women's social status has been low, and their own value relationship is usually immediate, partial and low-level. Its permanence and hierarchy are completely dependent on and obviously lower than the value relationship of the men to whom she is attached. Due to social constraints, a woman's activities are very limited, and her knowledge is bound to be short-sighted, which fundamentally determines that it is difficult for her to pursue value with foresight.

Sixth, the differences between men and women in emotional independence.

Women's emotions are relatively independent, easily influenced by others or the environment, easily hinted, infected and tempted by others, easily bound by moral norms, ethical concepts and traditional thinking habits, and easily guided and educated by elders, teachers, friends and social media; Women often drift with the tide in behavior, thought and emotion, and dare not stand outside the trend. They would rather be overwhelmed by the tide than bear the social neglect alone. Women pay great attention to and care about others' views and attitudes towards themselves; Many emotional characteristics of women are acquired and gradually formed in the subtle influence of the surrounding environment; Women's pursuit of men is entirely based on the value standards of the times. Times give men with different natural and social characteristics different fates, so women will look at men with different fates with different eyes, and women will love men admired by the times. On the contrary, men's emotions are less influenced by others or the environment, and they will not blindly pursue fashion and trends, so they are relatively independent.

Women's value relationship is usually based on and attached to others' value relationship, which determines that women's emotions are usually based on others' emotions and are influenced and restricted by others' emotions.

Seven, the differences between men and women in emotional rationality.

Women are animals that think with emotion. Women like to follow their feelings, love a person with feelings, hate a person with feelings, do a thing, judge the quality of a thing, evaluate the quality of a book, appreciate a work of art with feelings, worship an idol, believe in a religion, and are willing to pay their time, energy, money and even life in order to achieve their emotional goals. She doesn't believe in objective standards and needs. Sometimes reason clearly tells her that it is not good to do so, but she still does it without regrets driven by emotion.

Man is an animal that thinks with reason. Men like to explore the ins and outs of things, analyze the internal regularity and objective motivation of the movement and change of things, judge a person's quality by objective standards, and evaluate the quality of a book. His views and practices on many issues are ruthless, but objective and fair. Only after full argumentation and objective comparison will he devote his time, energy, money and life. As long as reason tells him that it is useless to do so, he will. Although he also has emotional impulses, this is only an individual case. In most cases, reason occupies an absolute dominant position in his will activities.

Practice relationship must be based on the interaction between fact relationship and value relationship, and will must be based on the interaction between cognition and emotion. There are two basic ways for people to improve their will level: one is to improve their cognitive level or rational level; The second is to improve their emotional level. Due to social constraints, women's activities are very narrow, and the improvement of their intelligence level is very limited. Only by improving their emotional level can they make limited compensation, so women's will is more dominated by emotion and less by reason. When dealing with those affairs with complex value relationship and simple fact relationship, women are often handy, but when dealing with those affairs with simple value relationship and complex fact relationship, they will be at a loss. On the contrary, many men with high intelligence and low emotional level can easily gain wealth from nature, but often lose wealth in the process of interpersonal communication; He can control nature flexibly, but he is often confused in the face of intertwined human relations and interests.

Eight, the differences between men and women in emotional expression

Women's expressions, especially facial expressions, are richer than men's. Walking in the street, we can see that men's faces are usually stagnant and their expressions are fixed, while women are the opposite. Her expression often changes, and the wrinkles around her mouth are particularly rich. Tears are an effective way of expression for women. Women's lacrimal glands are well developed, and they can express their wishes or needs unconsciously and naturally, or consciously and consciously. In addition, women's body posture expressions, language mood expressions and so on are far richer than men's.

The objective purpose of expression is to show one's own value needs to others in order to get their help and cooperation. Because women's value relationship depends more on the value relationship of others, only through rich and complex expressions can we fully and accurately express our value needs to others and get timely help and cooperation from others. Men's value relationship is more directly based on their own labor ability. He only needs to rely on his strong labor ability to obtain wealth from natural and social activities, and does not need to show his value needs to others too much.

Nine, the differences between men and women in emotional concealment

Women are not only good at expressing and revealing their feelings, but also good at hiding and exaggerating their feelings. Many women always strive to maintain the image of "lady", behave so seriously everywhere, and have a strong sense of prevention and self-inhibition; Always trying to control his enthusiasm, although his heart is a fire, his face is very cold; Don't like to make excessive jokes, try to show gentle tolerance; Women lie more often than men, thinking "yes", saying "no", thinking "love" and saying "hate"; My heart is praying for men, but my mouth is angry with men; It is not uncomfortable for a woman to be spoiled; In order to attract the special attention of men, women often express themselves in various ways.

Women's emotional cover-up is often concentrated in showing their nobility, nobility and elegance to men, showing their high moral quality, cultural accomplishment and social status, so as to grasp the initiative of advancing and retreating in the process of interacting with men and compensate themselves for their dependence in real social status and passivity in interpersonal communication to the maximum extent. In addition, people's interests are often inconsistent or even completely opposite. Women's emotional cover-up is also to protect themselves from public opinion attacks, from the jealousy of their peers, reduce competitors and opponents, and let themselves have a retreat at any time.

X. Differences in emotional efficacy between men and women

Women usually have higher emotional intensity and lower emotional efficacy. When there is a major breakthrough in fate and future (when marrying a husband or finding a satisfactory job), women will appear happier than men, but once the environment deteriorates and life encounters setbacks, women will appear more uncomfortable and desperate; She sometimes makes a mountain out of a molehill, makes a fuss, and often cries herself to death because of some trivial things; She sometimes shows extreme resentment, cruelty and insult; On the one hand, women's strong emotional sensitivity shows devil-like temperament, such as malice and cruelty, on the other hand, it also shows angelic temperament, such as tenderness, compassion and innocence. However, they often only stay in emotional experience and emotional expression, and are not good at and easy to turn these emotions into practical actions.

Women often need to rely on the strength of the man they are attached to to realize their value pursuit, and this process of relying on will always encounter resistance of one kind or another, and there will always be a certain probability of failure, which will inevitably reduce their emotional efficiency. As a means of compensation, she has to improve her emotional intensity to attract the attention and attention of the man she is attached to, so as to ensure that her emotional changes correspond to the changes in value relations.

Xi。 Differences in emotional preferences between men and women

The difference of emotional preference between men and women fundamentally depends on the difference of value relationship between men and women.

(1) like it

Women like men with simple language. Simple language often contains more wisdom, giving people room for imagination and feeling mysterious charm. Women like decisive men, and decisiveness is a powerful manifestation of the will to live; Women like ambitious men. Ambition encourages people to make progress and gives people hope. Women like men who dare to take risks, and taking risks can show mystery and courage; Women like calm men and can convey men's self-control and confidence; Women like men with a sense of humor, which shows superhuman wisdom and optimistic attitude towards life; Women like handsome men, full of enthusiasm, vigor, vitality and self-confidence; Women like generous men. Generosity means spiritual or material wealth, selfless dedication and confidence in one's ability. Women like men who keep their promises. Keeping promises means taking responsibility and giving people reliable hope. Women like mature men, and maturity can reflect men's ability to understand, adapt and transform the world. In a word, women like powerful men.

Men like beautiful women, beauty gives people the enjoyment of beauty, and beauty contains inherent health and exuberant fertility; Men like gentle and considerate women. Tenderness and consideration are the harbor for men after fierce struggle and the comfort after failure in competition. Men like happy women, and happiness makes people feel the joy of life; Men like hard-working women, hard-working can make this family stand the wind and rain, always accompanied by men's ups and downs, so that men have no worries; Men like innocent women, which means that emotional attachment and investment are simple or unique; Men like considerate women, and understanding can cushion many contradictions and frictions; Men like women who shed tears. Tears mean obedience to men's will and affirmation of men's strength. Men like shy women, and shyness comes from the internalization of moral feelings, which can reflect women's moral quality; Men like romantic women, and romance makes people's lives full of vigor and vitality. In short, men like women who can give strong support and actively cooperate.

Women are interested in dressing up. As long as a dress meets the psychological needs of women, it can quickly become popular; Women spend a lot of money on weekdays, but they can spend it on clothes without being stingy; As long as the skirt can fully show her charm, she will wear it even if she is uncomfortable. No matter how cold it is, no matter how windy it is, even if her limbs are numb and her lips are purple, she will wear a skirt. Before going out every day, always check whether your clothes offend the audience. We carefully planned tomorrow's clothes the night before. If there is no suitable clothes, she will eat badly and can't sleep. I don't know how many times she spends on clothes and makeup every day than men; In order to show her advantages, she wears ultra-short, ultra-thin and ultra-exposed clothes; In order to cover up her defects, she wore a wig, a fake chest, a fake shoulder, a fake eyelash and a fake double eyelid. The beauty of human body and its revealed temperament are the most important contents of women's value. Women show themselves through clothing and makeup, attracting men and winning their attention and love.

Women love their families. The ultimate destination of love is marriage, and family is a concrete symbol of marriage. Once a woman has a family, she will devote all her love to the family. It is easy for her to feel satisfied and comfortable from a happy and harmonious family atmosphere, and it is also easy to be suppressed by the bad luck of her family. She regards her family as her world, her life stage, and meets the needs of men, children and the elderly, and she is satisfied at home; She manages the housework at home, gives birth to children, realizes her own value, and finds her own position and destination from it. The reason why women love their families is that the family is the center of the value relationship between men and women and the treasure house of men's money, status and reputation. Women gain men's benefits through family and realize their own value through family. Once a woman loses her family, she loses all sources of value and destination.

(2) hobbies

Women are jealous. Jealous of a younger and more beautiful woman, a gorgeous woman, a rich and noble woman, and a happy woman in her family. Of all the jealousy, the strongest and deepest jealousy of a woman is that she can't get the love of a man. Driven by jealousy, women sometimes vilify, maliciously attack others and speak ill of others, especially behind their backs. When the interests of two women are based on the interests of the same man, there will inevitably be contradictions and conflicts, which will easily lead to jealousy. Its objective purpose is to weaken the interests between the other woman and the man, so as to maintain and develop the interests they get from the man.

Men like to fight. Men express, test, cultivate and exercise their strength and wisdom in the struggle, gain money, status and reputation, and win men's friendship and women's hearts; Men's society only recognizes strength and wisdom, does not believe in tears, and despises cowardice and stupidity. "Winner is king, loser is enemy" is the truth of men's world. In order to safeguard and develop their own interests, men can only rely on their own strength and wisdom to struggle and be brave, and can't be attached to anyone, nor can they place their hopes on anyone.

People like the new and hate the old. Men often think that other people's wives are better than their own, lamenting that there are no wild flowers at home, and often "eat what is in the bowl and see what is in the pot"; Men's love to marriage is often a process of "from slave to general", and it is also a process of love going to the grave; Some men have mistresses, and when money goes bad, they pick up girls; Men often light up when they see thousands of beautiful things, and they will sigh that the outside world is really wonderful.

Women like to rely on. When encountering difficulties, she is always eager for men's care and help; When she is in danger, she always asks for the protection and care of men; When she tells her troubles, she always hopes that men will listen quietly and be patient. When she needs care and love, she always wants men to provide it selflessly; When she leaves a man, she always hopes that he will miss her. When she makes some achievements, she always wants to be praised and flattered by men; When she has shortcomings, she always asks men to be broad-minded and tolerant of others; When she gives vent to her childish feelings, she always hopes that men will acquiesce. A woman's emotional and behavioral dependence is completely rooted in her dependence on value relations.

Women love vanity. It is human nature to yearn for money, status and fame, but when one's own strength cannot create these glories, this yearning will turn into vanity. The glory that women love is usually the glory that is now admired, popular and fashionable. If she is dissatisfied with her situation, she will point her dissatisfaction at the man she is attached to; If she is despised by respectable people, she will doubly despise the man she is attached to; In order to pursue this glory, she sometimes condescends to marriage and sacrifices love; Once a woman has won this honor, she will be eager to show it; If a woman marries a man without knowledge and status, she will feel infinite shame and never dare to mention it in front of others; Many women's enthusiasm comes from vanity. When a woman loses her vanity, she will lose her purpose in life and become empty and lonely. Women often like the flattery of others, and sometimes they feel sweet knowing that the other person is flattering; Of all the vanity of women, being chased by men is the most dazzling vanity. Due to the oppression of history and society, women can't rely on their own strength to win glory, but only rely on the man she is attached to, so on the one hand, she chooses a man with glory, and on the other hand, she always drives the man she is attached to get the money, status and reputation she needs.

Women like fantasy. Fantasy is a stage for women to write, perform and entertain themselves. Here, she can escape the impact of reality, experience the dangers that she can never experience, create heroic feats that she can never create, feel the happiness that she can't get in reality, show her unspeakable desires, and open secrets that others can't see through. Fantasy is like an emotional simulation exercise and virtual training for women. Under the severe oppression and constraint of society, women look forward to a bright future through fantasy, explore ways to get rid of some difficulties in reality, eliminate psychological imbalance caused by reality, stimulate their artistic imagination, see their true desires and pursuits, improve their favorite image, smash their annoying image, vent their pain and joy, fill their emptiness and loneliness, enjoy themselves and indulge themselves.

Women love fortune telling. Women believe in omens and fate more than men. Any strange dream, abnormal weather, abnormal physiological phenomenon, eyelid beating and unusual animals may be regarded by her as a sign of some kind of fate. She sincerely believes in any form of fortune-telling methods, such as drawing lots, divination, palm reading, playing in parks, and interpreting dreams. Every word of the fortune teller is recorded as an imperial edict, and every time she gives directions, she strictly follows it. Women often bet on love and marriage. She especially believes in luck and wealth. Usually, only those who can't accurately grasp their own destiny believe in omens and fortune-telling. Because women's value relationship is dependent on men's value relationship, women's fate is usually in men's hands, not in their own hands. The fate of women is more uncertain than that of men. When the fate of the man she is attached to is uncertain or unreliable, a woman relies on fortune telling to pray for her happiness.

(3) Interest

Women are usually not interested in philosophy. Philosophy is the highest wisdom of mankind. It has no distinction between far and near, is not bound by secular ideas, and is not affected by real interests. It treats everything with an objective and fair attitude. However, women are animals with emotional thinking, and everything is subjective, which is contrary to the basic principles of philosophy. Philosophy is a fearless knowledge. It dares to face up to and tell the facts that people dare not face up to and tell, while women dare not face up to their situation and dependence on men. They can only deceive themselves, and don't want others to expose their lies and masks. Women don't want to change the world through philosophical guidance, but only adapt to the world through emotional guidance. Philosophy is conducive to thinking but not to being a man, but what women need is to be a man. Women's emotions make them smooth and changeable, fuzzy and elastic, and they can be flexible. A woman doesn't want to use reason instead of emotion, and she doesn't want to be damaged by philosophical thinking and hinder her emotional application. Man is the master of the world. They must face up to the world they face, find the origin and destination of life, and bear more threats and oppression from the outside world. Therefore, men need philosophy more than women.

Women are interested in religion. Religion tells the true needs of the human mind. Women's theoretical understanding of religion is superficial, but their emotional feelings about religion are profound. The connection between women and religion is through emotion rather than reason. Religion provides a reasonable foundation and place for women's fantasy, which can fully meet women's various emotional needs and protect women from the suffering of reality. Fear of mysterious things is the driving force for people to approach religion. In fact, women are mainly afraid of men, men's society, and the mystery revealed by men's height, courage, solemnity and alertness. Women's worship of God, God or Bodhisattva is actually the worship of men and male society.

Twelve. The development trend of emotional differences between men and women

We should dialectically understand the emotional differences between men and women from the following aspects:

First, this difference exists objectively, not subjectively. It is independent of people's subjective will, and you can't change it whether you admit it or not. This is not a deliberate belittling and malicious attack on women's emotions, but an objective description of women's emotional weaknesses. It is precisely because of women's humble social status that women will demand equality between men and women in social status; It is precisely because of the weakness of female emotional characteristics that women are required to be self-reliant, self-reliant, self-respecting and self-loving.

Second, this difference is formed by history, not determined by nature and eternity. It is the product of the development of social productive forces to a certain stage, which originated from the natural division of labor in reproduction and developed with the development of division of labor and occupation. When the social productive forces are fully developed, this difference will gradually narrow and eventually disappear. We should not only see this trend, but also conform to it, and make our own efforts to improve women's social status and feelings, so as to speed up the process of eliminating the emotional differences between men and women.

Third, this difference is general and average, not specific and individual. It is a description of the average social level, not a description of the individual level. Many women are self-reliant, self-reliant, self-respecting and self-loving in the past and now. They are not attached to any man in objective interests or subjective feelings, but this cannot be used to deny women's attachment to men's interests and emotional relationships from the perspective of universal equality.

With the further development of social productive forces, men's labor advantage in social production will gradually disappear: on the one hand, the proportion of manual labor in the whole social labor will become smaller and smaller, and men's physical advantage will gradually lose its meaning; On the other hand, the closed political, economic and cultural system gradually disintegrated, and women moved from family to society, with a wider range of activities and richer content. Women's brain power shows an accelerated growth trend, and men's advantages in brain power are gradually offset by women's advantages in brain power. The relative growth of labor ability has improved women's economic status and political status, and women's value relationship has gradually separated from their dependence on men's value relationship, and women's emotions have gradually separated from their dependence on men. With the decrease in the number of children and the socialization of housework, the burden of women in childbirth, parenting and education will be relatively reduced, and the differences in physiological structure and function will gradually narrow. The value relationship between women and men tends to be more and more consistent, which will inevitably lead to more and more consistency between men and women in emotional strength, stability and efficiency.

References:

(1) Qiu Dehui, Unified Theory of Value, China Science and Technology Press, 1998.

② Qiu Dehui, Mathematical Emotion, Hunan People's Publishing House, 200 1 year.