Harry Potter fortune telling _ Harry Potter fortune telling

& lt Harry Potter >; What's the point?

Harry Potter is the most famous vocational student in Britain, because his schooling experience was swindled by the troubled British writer J.K. Lori into a book, which unexpectedly earned a lot of foreign exchange income for Britain.

As Harry Potter will graduate this year, the British government intends to persuade him not to graduate and continue his studies, and does not rule out putting pressure on the school to detain his diploma in order to continue to defraud Britain of a large amount of foreign exchange income.

Harry Potter's life background

Dear Dursley.

Dear Dursley.

Adopted son Harry Potter was killed by gangsters because his parents were enemies outside, so he was placed in foster care at his uncle's house by the British Social Welfare Bureau. However, Harry Potter did not study hard because he felt that he was not as good as an orphan. Instead, he made friends with evil spirits. He always hangs out in the middle of the night, which makes his uncle's family feel very sad.

Is it true that you were abused by the Dursleys?

In order to create the illusion of being abused by his uncle Dursleys, Harry Potter also deliberately stabbed an embarrassing fake scar on his forehead to gain sympathy. As a result, J.K. Lori, who wrote the biography of Harry Potter, published all the photos according to Harry Potter's instructions without checking. As a result, the Dursleys became innocent child abusers who abused Harry Potter in the book.

Is Harry Potter's scar caused by the devil?

In order to strengthen the tension of the victim complex, Harry Potter even invented a character of Voldemort and claimed that the embarrassing scar on his forehead was Voldemort. But it is understood that the so-called Voldemort is just a poor old man with a broken face next door to the Dursleys, who is often bullied by Harry Potter. Of course, the brain-dead J.K. Lori is still included in all her books without being confirmed.

Why have you never met anyone from Harry Potter General School?

As for why Harry Potter's primary school classmates are not mentioned in the book? The reason is simple, because Harry Potter has never been to school at all. At the beginning of a semester, he only played truant for ten minutes. Naturally, no one in school remembers Harry Potter. So of course Harry Potter can't tell who his primary school classmates are.

The background of Hogwarts

Hogwarts abnormal human research center hidden in abandoned castle

Hogwarts abnormal human research center hidden in abandoned castle

Although it is a magic school on the surface, it is actually a research center for abnormal human beings secretly set up by British MI 5. Because of Harry Potter's abnormal behavior, he was transferred to the supervision of the British Social Welfare Bureau, which is the focus of J.K. Lorry's school records.

Where is Hogwarts?

It has been pointed out that it is in Scotland, England, but no one knows where it is in Scotland. Because Hogwarts is like the nonexistent 5 1 area declared by the American imperialists. Muggles generally can't see Hogwarts. Even if they are lucky enough to come to the gate of Hogwarts, they only see a pile of ruins and a warning sign that it is dangerous to stay out.

But in fact, Hogwarts is in this pile of ruins.

What do they teach at Hogwarts?

See what Harry Potter has learned?

See what Harry Potter has learned?

Because it is a research center for abnormal human beings, it specializes in teaching things that ordinary schools don't teach.

Ride a broom

Main items: Hogwarts props

Hogwarts brooms are not used to sweep the floor, but to ride.

Because under the deliberate concealment and protection of MI5, Hogwarts was surrounded by Minovsky particles, which caused ordinary vehicles to break down inexplicably nearby, so brooms became the only available means of transportation at Hogwarts.

Just remember to pay attention to the safety of crotch and legs when using.

Hit sb with a wand

As Hogwarts is a closely guarded unit of MI5, weapons control at Hogwarts is quite strict, not to mention guns, and even a knife can't be brought in. Therefore, if there is a dispute, you must learn to hit people with a small stick.

And such a small stick that can be used to hit people at any time is called a wand at Hogwarts.

incantation

Curse, spell for short.

Because Hogwarts is a research center for abnormal human beings established by British MI 5, no one is normal from the principal to the students. Therefore, the swearing of abnormal people is of course abnormal, so the swearing of abnormal people at Hogwarts is called a spell.

People around Harry Potter

The man who was fooling around with Harry Potter.

Hermione granger (hermione granger)

I have been fooling around with Harry Potter since I was a child, and now I am a quasi-royal sister, and there is still no sign of repentance. But because of her cuteness, she is often the object of teasing by Harry Potter and another bad friend Ron Weasley. It is understood that Hermione herself has said that it is quite enjoyable to be teased by them.

Everyone calls her Hermes because her pet is a golden Persian cat.

Hermione who likes to wear white pants.

Hermione who likes to wear white pants.

Ron Weasley.

Two men peeked at Miaoli's little white pants.

Two men peeked at Miaoli's little white pants.

Originally just a passer-by, he was famous for meeting Harry Potter. Since then, he and Harry Potter have become good brothers at Hogwarts and often flirt with hermione granger for fun.

His pet is a mouse. It is understood that the purpose of raising mice is to tie a pinhole camera to mice so as to peek at female students such as Miao Li taking a bath. However, his mouse is always found by Miaoli's cat before touching the women's locker room or bathroom.

So he roasted the useless mouse to eat. But in an interview with J.K. Lori, some people said that the mouse actually ran away when it was found in disguise, because magic was changed from people. The brain-dead J.K. Lori still included Ron Weasley's absurd remarks without thinking.

A man who worships Harry Potter

Neville longbottom (Neville Long Bottom)

He is a standard passer-by and a fool. Often forget things, even sometimes forget what?

I was reluctantly written into the book by J.K. Lori because I admire Harry Potter very much.

Ginny Weasley (Ginny Weasley)

Harry Potter, Ron's little sister, is also known as the three major girls at Hogwarts with Emily and Zhang Qiu. She became attached to Harry Potter because of an incident in the secret room of Hogwarts. But she was born romantic and unfaithful, and her boyfriends changed one after another. Even Neville, a fool, has learned her arrogance.

It is understood that in the end, she still felt that Harry Potter was a good man and entrusted herself to him.

Zhang Qiu (cho chang)

She is Harry Potter's school sister, suspected to be of mixed blood, and some people say that she is Korean. Harry Potter's first love, a beautiful oriental girl.

According to j? k？ According to Lori's statement in the book, Harry Potter fell off the broom in the third grade quidditch competition because the phantom invaded the stadium and scared Harry Potter. But it is said that in fact, Zhang Qiu frequently winked at Harry Potter at the edge of the court, which made Harry Potter lose his mind and was caught by a broom and wrestled.

As for the reason why Zhang Qiu broke up with Harry Potter later, it was because she was jealous that Harry Potter could flirt with Harry Potter often, but she never molested him once. So move on and find someone who can flirt with her.

Colin creevy (colin creevy)

He is a peeping idiot.

Take a camera with you and sneak shots of Harry Potter everywhere, and then sell the photos to erotic websites to make extra money. His brother Danny? Creevy later joined his camera club and took pictures everywhere. The two brothers were called to Hogwarts to take pictures of two wolves.

Romilda Vane

Harry Potter's primary school sister is a passerby. Because of his secret love for Harry Potter, he was accidentally killed by J. k？ Lori wrote it in the book.

Her wish is to be knocked down by Harry Potter one day.

myrtle

Nicknamed crying baby lawn.

It's a ghost Lori who died in the female student toilet on the second floor of Hogwarts for more than 70 years. Her greatest wish is that after Harry Potter is killed by the enemy, she can live in a toilet with the ghost of Harry Potter.

People who hate Harry Potter

Four innocent good people vilified by Harry Potter.

Four innocent good people vilified by Harry Potter.

Draco Draco Malfoy.

Harry Potter called him Brother Horse Dung. According to Harry Potter and J.K.? Lori said he was a bad boy with severe prince syndrome.

But in fact, he is a charity angel of the British Association for Caring for the Elderly, who often cares for the lonely old people bullied by Harry Potter, including Voldemort, who is described by Harry Potter as the dark Lord. So, idiot J? k？ Lori, under Harry Potter's one-sided distortion and slander, wrote him and his family as the lackeys of the dark Lord-members of the shit eaters.

crabbe, vincent

Draco? Malfoy is a volunteer companion, but in Harry Potter's mouth, he becomes Draco? Malfoy's best friend, a mindless glutton.

Gregory Goyle

So is Draco? Malfoy's volunteer companion was also demonized by Harry Potter's brain damage and turned into a short and fat fool.

Percy pansy parkinson.

Is it Draco? Malfoy's lovely little girlfriend is also described by Harry Potter as a bad karma person.

Lord Voldemort

According to Harry Potter and J.K.? Lori said that Voldemort was an evil villain, but in fact Voldemort was just a poor old man with facial disability.

Voldemort was originally a conductor in Shuai Shuai, because when Harry was a child, he suddenly rushed into the road. In order to avoid him, Voldemort lost control and ran into a car on the side of the road, which then caught fire. The car accident completely broke Voldemort's nose and bones, burned his hair and lost his command.

The last photo of Voldemort before the car accident was taken in Vienna's Golden Hall.

Voldemort still often brandishes batons to recall the past.

The teacher who once taught Harry Potter.

headmaster

The immortal albus dumbledore.

He is an old epilepsy who has lived for 152 years. His interest is like a bird in Hogwarts Garden, which has a penetrating power that ordinary people can't reach. He likes to see the inner beauty of other female students in the garden with dead fish when birds are flying.

The secret was kicked out before he was killed by the magic wand K, because it is said that before he died, he wanted to see through Hermes' heart with dead fish eyes before he closed his eyes. Only this was denied by Harry Potter, because he said that he actually wanted to spy on Dumbledore before he died.

Unlucky professors of defense against evil magic.

Because of Harry Potter's mischief, the professor of defense against evil magic at Hogwarts changes every year, and no one can stay in this position for more than a year, so people call this position the so-called Harry Potter curse. The following are professors who unfortunately left their jobs under the spell of Harry Potter.

Querel

He is an honest man who stutters, but he is always bullied by naughty Harry Potter. It is said that Harry Potter left his job because he could not stand his stubbornness and anger. However, Julie Potter and brain-dead J? k？ Lori said that he was punished for being possessed by the Dark Lord and was wiped out in the underground chamber of Hogwarts.

Gilde gilderoy lockhart.

He is also an upright and personable educator, but he was finally driven crazy by Harry Potter's stubborn spoof and now lives in a mental hospital.

Remus Ruben (Remus Ruben)

In view of the fact that the professors of Defense Against Magic in the previous two academic years were all driven crazy by Harry Potter, Hogwarts hired a new teacher who is said to have social experience. Is he Remus? Lubang

However, Professor Lu Bang is a real sex maniac. The reason why he entered Hogwarts was to take the opportunity to tear down the young girl. Harry Potter, in particular, was found to have a floor plan of Hogwarts, which was convenient for playing truant, so he found an opportunity to confiscate the map in order to sneak into the girls' dormitory and realize his wish to defeat Lori.

Harry Potter only discovered his abnormal nature before he realized his plan, so he resigned and left.

Alastor moody (Al Astor Moody)

Moody, a blind man who likes to teach in a practical way.

Moody, a blind man who likes to teach in a practical way.

Also known as blind moody.

When I was young, I was shot in the left eye for peeking at my junior taking a bath, and my left leg was broken when I was fighting with someone. So his left eye is equipped with an infrared perspective camera that can rotate 360 degrees, and his left leg is also modified with an iron leg.

Because all the former professors were forced to leave because of their opposition to Harry Potter, he began to maintain a good relationship with Harry Potter deliberately after taking office, and even colluded with Harry Potter to peep.

However, such a guy finally left. Because he likes to teach in a practical way, he was accused of trying to see the scenery under a female student's skirt with his electronic left eye in class, and directly pushed down the female student in public.

Although it was later argued that it was a way to educate students to avoid being peeped by perverts and forced to push them down, the police did not accept it.

Dolores dolores Umbridge.

Due to the high turnover rate of professors of anti-evil magic at Hogwarts, which attracted the attention of the British government, the Minister of State for Administration of the Ministry of Magic, who is in charge of administrative affairs at Hogwarts, was sent to the school to personally supervise and concurrently serve as a professor of anti-evil magic.

According to Harry Potter and J.K.? According to Lori, the dead old woman was boycotted because of her perverse behavior at school, which caused public outrage among the students at school.

But in fact, she is a caring mother and has never taught a class. Harry Potter has tried many times to save it with love, and he has been kind, but every time Harry Potter turned a deaf ear. Even Harry Potter finally gathered mobs outside the school to kidnap dolores? Umbridge went to a secret place to teach him a lesson.

Do Dolores the next day? Umbridge left his post in anger and tears.

Severus snape ().

Originally, he was a professor of potions, but because no one dared to take over Harry Potter's curse, he didn't want to change jobs. He is the only person at Hogwarts who can control Harry Potter, so even if Harry Potter says he eats shit, no one will believe him.

But because his wand accidentally hit Dumbledore on the head in a campus fight, Dumbledore was killed by a small stick, so he had to take the blame and hand over his teaching position. Don't break the spell of Harry Potter.

Professors of other disciplines

Milla tile? Minerva McGonagall

She is a professor of Metamorphosis at Hogwarts and an old woman who likes to chew tender grass. It is understood that she once cheated Ron Weasley while teaching students to learn ballroom dancing, and tried to push him down.

Madam hooch

The coach who rides a broom at Hogwarts, because the only means of transportation available at Hogwarts is a broom, learning how to ride a broom at Hogwarts is a very important skill. If you can't ride a broom, you really have to walk.

Sibyll trelawney (sibyll trelawney)

Old ni, a suspected spinster.

Old ni, a suspected spinster.

Professor of divination, called urging old ni by Hermes. Young, but wearing big black-rimmed glasses that take up almost half of her face, dressed like a wandering gypsy old woman.

She is responsible for teaching fortune telling, but fortune telling is almost accurate, and at most she is only a paid professor. Her only accurate divination was when she was possessed by evil spirits.

Firenze (Firenze)

A mutant race suspected of being secretly paired by Hogwarts Abnormal Human Research Center, the upper part is human and the lower part is horse. It was the substitute teacher who urged old ni to leave.

But because of his lower body, he couldn't find suitable pants for many years, so he was named a professor who didn't wear pants.

Other characters

Sirius Black (Sirius Black)

The rapist in Azkaban

The rapist in Azkaban

The godfather of Harry Potter, which means michel platini in Chinese.

1980 was accused of knocking down 13 muggles and sentenced to Azkaban prison. He felt very wronged, because he had only knocked down one, so he was accused of knocking down 13 and was imprisoned 13 years.

Sirius Black was pushed down by Harry Potter's wand.

Sirius Black was pushed down by Harry Potter's wand.

Now it's Harry Potter

Harry Potter who hasn't graduated.

Harry Potter who hasn't graduated.

Because Harry Potter's study experience at Hogwarts is so popular, he has earned a lot of foreign exchange income for Britain.

It is understood that Harry Potter, who was scheduled to graduate in 1997, is a cheap money-sucking machine in Britain, which makes the British government have to find an excuse to repeat the grade and detain Harry Potter's graduation certificate every year under the pressure of MI5, so as to record more touching stories of cheating money.

And the brain-dead writer J who is responsible for recording and writing Harry Potter biographies? k？ Lori said in an interview with Mold that Harry Potter's eldest son is approaching the school age of Hogwarts, and it is not ruled out that the relationship between Harry Potter and his son will be modified.

If that happens, the reviews will be good. According to this model, Hogwarts, where Harry Potter runs in the family, will reappear. Continue to make continuous contributions to Britain's fraudulent absorption of foreign exchange income.

As for Hogwarts, Harry Potter can't graduate because of delay. Because I can't get rid of Harry Potter's curse, the professor of defense against magic has changed from year to year, and this year is the n th.