The humorous story of Mai Wei Yi.

Page 1 1 of Wuchuan County Records records that Mai wrote an elegy for the death of Chen Ruizhen, the son of Chen Shangyin, who was a prominent official in Tiantou Village of this county. He gave up being an official and returned to overseas Chinese. The poem says, "Why are you in such a hurry to write a poem? Clouds covered the afternoon and sunny morning. My life is not over yet, but there are still ten cabinets of books. The dusty Xu couch is cold, but the sound of Cooper is empty. It's hard to ask if you scratch your head. You pour a glass of tears. "

Mai and Fu Gong of Ximen Street in Wuyang are good friends. They are very close. There are five sons in all. When the official returned to the field to build a shrine, Mai personally wrote a couplet: "Dismiss the three armed forces; Dou's "Burying Five Gui Xiang" was presented to Du Fu Gong. During the Qianlong period, there was a great drought, and the officials and gentry in Wuchuan City frequently donated water to the peasants to fast, but it still didn't rain. Father Liu was very angry with the bureaucratic gentry and wrote a couplet mocking them: ghosts and wild monks worship violence; Corrupt officials, find out the sun, the moon and the stars. "

People who are not familiar with six dads should ask why they are called six dads "? Dog six dad "? It turns out that there is another story about the origin of the name Liu Dad.

According to legend, the Zhao Kuangyin Zodiac in Song Dynasty belonged to dogs, because it was forbidden to be an official? Dogs, even famous dogs, are forbidden to eat dog meat. This prohibition lasted until the Yuan, Ming and Qing Dynasties. Six dads were "tribute students" during the Qianlong period, and they were also not allowed to eat dog meat. It was Liu Dad and Mai Wei who broke this "example".

One day, Bodhisattva Kang Wang, a neighboring village, returned to the golden body and opened the altar for seven days and seven nights. During this period, all officials and people in China are required to pay for fasting, and killing is prohibited (not allowed? Pig, chicken, dog). But on the day of fasting, the local squire gave a banquet to eat and drink in the temple. This class of "vampires" has been extorting money from the people. Dad Liu can't stand it. He had a brainwave and wrote a couplet on both sides of the shed:

Lei Lei said that if you are really a gentleman, puppets are lifeless, and you have suffered from cigarettes for 400 years.

Romantic native gentleman, limited steaming, only for two or three years.

Gentlemen were furious when they came out, but when they found out that this pair was written by Mai Wei Yi, they were afraid of being laughed at by him. Everyone is like a mouse biting the "shade", but they only complain in their hearts and dare not make any noise. Who knows that after posting the couplets, Liu's father looked down on the "storm" and failed to achieve his goal, so he continued to provoke the "tiger" to "intimidate". He kept a dog and dragged it to the shed? Get up. The news reached the ears of the gentlemen, who were as happy as a horse picking up tin and immediately took away six fathers? The dog took him to the yamen to discuss it in the name of breaking lent. No sooner had my parents arrived at the yamen than a gentleman accused him of three major crimes: 1. Gong Sheng? Dogs violate the imperial law; Second, writing couplets insults the gods; Three. Kill the living and destroy the fast. "That's enough, that's enough." The magistrate accepted the gentlemen's money, so he patted the gavel and shouted, "Do you know the crime, Mai Wei Yi? ! ""Grandpa, what crime have I committed? " Six dad said slowly, "Your old man probably read the sacred amethyst written by the Song people, right?" "Of course I do." County grandfather was afraid of being laughed at by six dads, so he quickly answered. "That's good!" Dad Six went on to say, "The book says,' Horses, cows, sheep, chickens and dogs are all eaten by people. "The sage book said I eat dog meat crime? First of all; Second, Kang Wang is a marshal. Today, they put the wine there, didn't leave the marshal in the upper position, and didn't ask your great-grandfather to be the chief company. We little squires insult the gods and despise the county magistrate! " Six dad this refutation, the county magistrate and gentlemen looked at each other, everyone is like a dog biting a stone. Dad Liu even said proudly, "Do you think eating dog meat is blasphemy?" ? Kang Wang eats people! When his mother, Queen Xu, died, he ate her, overeating, his stomach swelled, and his face turned blue, showing his fangs. I don't believe you. Look at the list of gods. Kang Wang ate his mother, but was named a' true gentleman' by the Jade Emperor, and the people still worshipped him as a god. What is eating dog meat to me? ! "Six dad said a reasonable word, but the county magistrate had no choice but to announce his withdrawal. The squires were dejected and despondent, but Dad Liu was in high spirits. Since then? The name "Dog Six Dad" was called. Four squires were sitting under the banyan tree, enjoying the cool with white paper fans. One of them wanted to show off his cleverness, so he suggested writing a poem: "Senior, this is a beautiful spring day, and we are together again. Why don't you sing a poem to help you enjoy it? "At this time, there was a fellow villager by the river, with a bamboo pole in his hand and a flock of geese swimming down from the river.

When the squire who proposed to sing poetry saw it, he touched the scene and gave birth to "poetry." He chanted: A flock of geese came from the river. After singing, he paused and said to the squires, "I have finished the first sentence, so let's continue." Then he squinted and remembered the beautiful sentence he had just sung. Another squire, looking at the goose, heard the cry of "Goose Goose", thought for a moment, "Inspiration" came, and added: "Goose Goose Goose Singing Goose Songs." "Wonderful, wonderful!" "Great contact!" "It's your turn. Come and join us. " The squire who said the first sentence urged. At the end of the poem, the two squires had to use their brains and came up with a couplet: "A flock of geese flowed out of the river and the geese were singing a goose song." ..... The two gentlemen recited the last two poems and racked their brains, but they still couldn't sing a new sentence. Is it that fellow villager who drives geese by the river? Dog six stopped when he saw them making a fool of themselves and said to the squires, "Gentlemen, let me? Dog six finish writing this poem, ok? " "Bullshit!" The squire who sang the first sentence didn't dare to sing with them until he saw such a rude fellow goose driver. He felt that this was a great disgrace and strongly opposed it. But the two squires couldn't sing a poem after searching, as if they were saved, and said, "OK? Dog six, just try. " "Good," Dog Six Dad nodded. "Then, just listen and don't laugh!" "Say, how? Dog six dad cleared his throat and began to sing:

A flock of geese flew from the river,

Goose male geese sing goose songs.

Two squires shit,

There are two pieces of shit left!

Hearing this, the squires turned white with anger, stamped their feet and blew their beards, and almost jumped up. Dog six, you beast! How dare you swear? " "? Dog six, this is not a poem. Your two rude words stink to death! "Six dad replied," Yes, it stinks! Because when I say four squires, they all stink! " One day, Dad Liu came home and passed the big tree at the entrance of the village. There are three rogue villagers sitting under the big tree. They saw Sixth Dad passing by and said, Sixth Dad, where are you going? Come and join our cars and cannons.

Dad, it's the three scoundrels who have taught them a lesson. Just say: alas! I can share your car and cannon for free. There is a boat carrying rice across the river. I'm going back to give Lamirat a car soon. Dad Liu finished and hurried home.

The three men listened to the words of the Sixth Master and hurried home to pull the cart to the river!

I didn't expect the three of them to come to the river, let alone the boat, there was no one there! This time, they knew that they had been cheated by six dads!

They went back to find six dad. They said out of breath, six dad, we kindly call you chariot gun. You lied to Milla by the river and let us come for nothing!

Six dad said slowly: well ~ ~ I love you! If you let me drive your car and cannon, I will drive your car and cannon. "

They listened to their sixth dad's words and reluctantly pulled the car home. One day, my father passed by the mountain in the village. A group of children are playing in the trees on the mountain.

When I met my sixth dad, I came down from the tree and said to him, Sixth dad, I heard that you are so smart. If you can trick us into a tree, I admire you.

Six dad said: You all know that I lied to you to climb trees, so you are willing to let me lie to you to climb trees! But if you climb a tree, I can trick you into coming down. Can you bet?

The children said at once, ok. Then they flew up the tree like monkeys!

Now the sixth dad says, didn't you tell me to lie to the tree?

Only then did I know that I was cheated by my sixth dad!

From now on, I dare not be rude to my sixth father.

Please forgive me if there is anything wrong afterwards. I just made a cursory remark.

It's sugar cane (borrowed)

Let me say one more thing.

There used to be a greedy official in Wuchuan who had just celebrated his 5 1 birthday and wanted to make a fortune here. All the rich and powerful people were invited to celebrate his birthday. Also invited from it? Dog six dad.

Dad Liu wants to be angry with him here. On his birthday, Dad Liu wrapped the cane in red paper, like a red envelope with silver bars.

When he arrived at the corrupt official's office, he said to the corrupt official, "Six Dad borrowed money from sugar cane."

The greedy official said, "Six dads. Don't mention it, be generous and eat here tonight. "

When all the guests went home, the greedy officials opened their presents. When I dismantled my sixth dad, I saw two sugar cane. I was so angry that my eyes popped out and said, "This? Dog six is really bold. He dares to cheat this official with two crutches. Can someone help me? Dog six dad question "

In court, "Bold? Dog six, dare to cheat this official with two crutches, do you plead guilty? " Said the greedy officer.

? Dog six dad said slowly, "what crime have I committed?" Didn't I tell you before? " This is sugar cane, you are stupid. "

The greedy officer saw it and said, but the six dads had to watch it for nothing. Six dads walk out of the courtroom!

Probably the same! I heard all about it.

Read too many books and write poorly. I hope you can understand! One day? Dog six dad took advantage of the market transition, but the ferry was two feet offshore. Father Liu saluted the old ferryman sitting on the boat and said, "Please support me in the transition." Six dad called three times, but the old man ignored him and sat in the bow smoking his hookah.

Six dad had to wait at the ferry. Half an hour later, when the old ferryman saw that it was Mai, he knew that Six Dad was outstanding in literary talent, which was a good opportunity to try Six Dad. The old ferryman docked the boat, pretended not to know Dad Liu, and said, "Sir, do you want to make a transition?" Six dads replied, "Exactly." The old ferryman said, "Transition is possible, but I have a ferry rule." Father Liu said, "What are the rules for crossing the road?" The old ferryman said, "Anyone who transshippes on my boat has to pay one or two pieces of silver and give me a pair. Those who pass can be exempted from ferry fees. If they can't get that pair, will you pay ten times more? " When Sixth Master got on the boat, the old ferryman said, "The wooden boat carries stones, but the stone boat carries light." Pairing is really hard to do right. Dad Liu couldn't understand for a moment, so he smiled and said to the ferryman, "I can get the bottom line when I get on the boat." The old ferryman agreed. Six dad was in the cabin, remembering that his wife asked him to buy a few feet of cloth before remembering the ruler for measuring cloth, and suddenly he began to understand. The boat stopped two feet offshore, and the old ferryman called six dads to get up and answer correctly. At this time, Liu's father casually took the next couplet: "Bamboo repairs the ruler and measures the cloth with the ruler. The length of the cloth is also short. " The old ferryman was overjoyed and even said, "Wonderful! Wonderful! That's right! Send six dads ashore for free. One day? Father dog took advantage of the market transition and went by boat. On market day, many people make use of the market. When Father Dog got on the boat, he met many people.

If you want to find a seat, you have it.

That's right. Someone inside said, can I take fewer seats? I come from an olive ass. If you can't sit in many places, just take a few seats. When I saw it, it was six dads, so it was less than six dads.

Six dad sat down and fell asleep. If so, he said to his sixth dad, "Sixth dad, you know it is difficult to sit, so why do you sleep?"

The sixth father said, "I'm thinking about it, too." They all said it was olive butter. Just sit still and sleep.

Everyone has to fight for six dads to sleep there.

I just sketched it out. Don't take it personally. One day, Dog Six Dad went home by boat from Gaocheng. After running all day, he felt very tired, so he got into the cabin to sleep as soon as he got on the boat. Unexpectedly, as soon as he lay down, there came a senior official, Qian Hu, who was crowding round. They also came by boat. Seeing that it was Master Qian, the boatman greeted him respectfully. After boarding the ship, he told the soldiers to drive everyone out of the cabin. Someone refused to leave, so they were punched and kicked. But Dad Liu is a tough guy, and he is never afraid of tough people. It's not that easy to get him out of the cabin! When Master Qian entered the cabin, Six Dad still pretended to sleep with his eyes closed and did not move. Master Qian's soldiers pressed hard, and he turned over and said impatiently, "Stop arguing, I want to sleep!" " "

Mr. Qian couldn't help asking, "Who are you, so rude!" Six dads answered unhurriedly: "My name is Mai, my name is Yi, and my nickname is Yi?" ? Dog six, known as Master Six, is an old man. Because my ass is pointed, people call me Gan Lan ass. Today, I went to Gaocheng by boat for business. I was lying down and couldn't sit up. Please forgive me! Qian Hu always feels strange and asks, "How did you get a sweet ass?" ""Oh, it's a long story! " Six dad deliberately stopped, and then continued, "My dad married two wives, and they were pregnant together. "My late father wanted to know the fate of his children, so he invited a fortune teller to tell his children's fortune. After a while, the fortune teller said that your two wives will be born on the same day, but at different times. If the first wife, sir, the problem is big. Her son will be a fool, and all your property may go up in smoke in his hands. If the second wife sir, congratulations. When the son grows up, he will be a horde, and the son of the first wife will also be a tribute, so your family will continue to prosper. After listening to the fortune teller, my late father frowned and asked the fortune teller how to let the second lady's son come down and let the fortune teller think of a way for him. The fortune teller thought about it and said that there was only one way. When they are born, you should tell the first lady to bite the bullet and pick up the fetus, and not let him give birth to her husband until the second lady gives birth. There is no other way. After listening to the fortune teller, my late father remembered this method. When my mother gave birth to me, my father forced my mother to hug me, and my ass was like this. My dad almost drove me to death at the age of one thousand! " At first, Mr Qian Hu listened with relish, but the more he listened, the more he felt something was wrong. When Dad Six finished, everyone sitting outside laughed, and he realized that he had been teased by Dad Six. He wanted to get angry and told his men to beat six dads, but he couldn't find a reason, so he had to submit to humiliation and bow his head. Bai's flower name is "pigeon eye". She is the owner of the egg shop. She is best at bullying the poor and fearing the rich.

Once, Dad Liu wanted to buy two duck eggs. He went to the counter of the egg shop and just picked up two duck eggs from the laundry list and looked at them carefully. He rolled his eyes and said coldly, "Hey, are you going to buy it or not?" Buy two duck eggs and choose. What a lonely ghost! "Six dad was bullied and scolded, and he was very unhappy. He asked angrily," So, how about picking and choosing if you buy too much? Pigeon's eye said, "I don't want to choose as much as I want." If you can afford one thousand or one hundred, I will give you special permission to put them on the counter and pick them up one by one. "Six Dad could hear that this was an angry remark that he bullied him because he had no money to buy it, so Six Dad decided to play a trick on him:" Well, I just want to buy a few hundred. " After that, I picked up the eggs in the laundry list, looked at them and put them back on the counter. Pigeons saw that Liu's father was careless and were afraid that duck eggs would fall and break, so they quickly bent down and put their arms around them. Before Dad Liu counted to 300, the pigeon's eyes were sore and his arms were numb, but he didn't dare to move, for fear that if he moved, the eggs on the counter would roll down and hundreds of eggs would die at once. Six dad saw that he had almost fooled the pigeon's eyes before stopping to pick it up and exclaiming, "Your eggs are so good that it's hard to buy. "It seems that I have to go back and discuss with the guys if I can buy hundreds more."

Say, cheerfully and went out, white boss just stretched out his hand and hug the counter that a lot of duck eggs can't loosen a loose, there are customers to buy eggs can't take care of, wait for half a day also didn't see six dad came back, this just know cheated. But when he asked someone to help him put all the eggs on the counter back on the laundry list, Dad Six came back. Seeing that there were no eggs on the counter, he pointed to the tip of the pigeon's eye and scolded, "You are really a pigeon's eye. Seeing that my sixth dad has no money, I finally picked out the eggs and you picked them up again. Since you broke your word, I won't do business with you. " He left after scolding. The story happened in the year when Emperor Qianlong went down to the south of the Yangtze River. Chen Wanli sued? After Dog Six, there was another ugly drama of "Dead Cat for Bride". The story goes like this ―― A woodcutter often sells firewood in Wan Li Hotel. Once, Chen Wanli found that the woodcutter's wife was young and beautiful, and she was one in a million. She couldn't help drooling and flew to the sky, so she conspired with the accountant to plot against the woodcutter.

The next day, Mr. Accountant secretly put a dead cat under the firewood when Wanli took it from the woodcutter to sell it. After that, the egg-laying chicken pretended to be surprised and shouted at the woodcutter, "Oh, no, my baby cat was crushed to death by you!" " The woodcutter picked up the firewood and saw a dead cat on the ground. He said, "since I killed your cat, I'll pay you one!" " "

Chen Wanli shouted even louder: "Compensation? Can you afford it? My baby cat, when the village chief called, the mice all ran away; Walking in the village, the mouse trembled; The village shouted three times, and the mouse died cleanly. Even if you pay a thousand dollars, I want a live cat. "

The woodcutter pleaded, "boss, have pity on me. I really didn't mean to!" " "

No matter how much the woodcutter begged, Chen Wanli refused to let him go. Seeing that the time was ripe, Mr. cashier casually put on a good hand and said, "My master has always been generous. I know you didn't mean to crush the cat." I will be a just person. If you are willing to give your wife to him, not only does the cat need not spend money, but he can also take care of your family's life. How about it? "

The woodcutter tried to make his wife's lungs explode, but he couldn't get angry easily, so he had to endure it for the time being and promised to go back and discuss it with his wife first, and then come back to answer.

The woodcutter came home crying and happened to meet him? Dog six. Six dad asked him why he was yelling, so he had a plan and repeatedly told him to act according to the plan.

The woodcutter promised to give up his wife, and Chen Wanli was too happy to see his teeth. He repeatedly urged the accountant to prepare the bride price as soon as possible according to the woodcutter's request, choose a good date and go to see the bride himself. On the "wedding day", the woodcutter specially cooked a pot of glutinous rice and made a rice spoon with duck feet wood according to the instructions of Lao Liu, waiting for the arrival of Chen Wanli. Soon, Chen Wanli led a group of bride price bearers to the woodcutter's house. The woodcutter's family warmly received them, but it was not until the evening that Chen Wanli was invited to eat glutinous rice on the table. Because the glutinous rice is sticky and soft, and the rice spoon is sharp and thin, it is difficult to scoop it up. Chen Wanli's stomach is growling with hunger, and he quickly picked up the spoon and broke it with a bang. The woodcutter immediately shouted in surprise, "Oh, no, you broke my Jinlin rice spoon!" " "Chen Wanli disapprovingly smiled and said," it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. I'll have someone give you a silver spoon tomorrow. "

The woodcutter pretended to be embarrassed and said, "The boss doesn't know that my rice spoon is a golden wooden treasure spoon, Jin Mu, Jin Mu, dried fish, meat at night, grains at noon and jewels all over the house at night." Even if you pay 10 thousand yuan, I'll get my Jinlinmu rice spoon back. "

"Yes, this Jinlin wooden rice spoon is a family heirloom!" Neighbors also helped to say.

When Chen Wanli was in a dilemma? Dog six appeared, stood aside and stroked his beard, exhorting, "I think so." I heard that he accidentally killed one of your boss Chen's precious cats. Now that you have accidentally broken his treasure spoon, let the countryside be the witness, and we are clear. " If it weren't for your bride price, your people should entertain the witness. Everybody says, okay? "

"Well, that's it!" Everyone said with one voice.

Chen Wanli was at the end of his rope and had to leave in frustration.