The way husband and wife get along.

There are thousands of words to appreciate each other. It seems that two principles can be summarized. One is "trying to be appreciated by the other party" and the other is "trying to be appreciated by the other party". The real charm of love lies in finding love. Appreciation is a flower, and love is a fruit. Don't be shy about expressing your love to the person you love, and don't be stingy with your praise. If you often tell each other "I love you" in appropriate occasions and with appropriate expressions, three words will be enough to get the appreciation of thousands of troops, which is a kind of recognition, affirmation and encouragement to each other and will certainly make people feel satisfied. The greatest meaning of understanding is affirmation, recognition, praise and appreciation. Appreciation is a common psychological need of both sides, and it is also one of the secrets of a good relationship between husband and wife. Respect each other. The Bible says, "If you want others to treat you, you should treat others." The most important thing for a stable marriage is to learn to respect each other. Only when you know how to respect each other can you get their respect, not only love me, love my dog, but also respect each other's parents, brothers, sisters and relatives. If you look down on each other's family, what's more, you push each other's family to the opposite of yourself. This is very stupid, which will leave you in a helpless situation and be fatal to the stability of your marriage. Learning to love most people is "being loved" rather than "loving". I just want to be cute, instead of actively learning how to love each other and how to care about each other's spiritual needs. True love is "I give" wholeheartedly, not "I want". It is to stimulate each other's vitality with one's own vitality. Giving is happier than receiving, and it is not a deprivation, because the act of giving expresses the existence of self-life. Love should be a pure thing, without any conditions and utility. Love is a kind of sharing, not infatuation. Love means care, responsibility and respect. Achieving "you have me and I have you" is the top grade of marriage. Learn to "understand" that couples should "understand" each other. The so-called "understanding" means that when you encounter setbacks, he (she) does not say a word that is detrimental to your dignity; When you are emotional, he (she) explains things to you; When you are in a bad mood, he (she) will never be as knowledgeable as you; If you smile at him (her) first, if you worry about him (her) first, his (her) joy will tell you, but his (her) sadness will not be easily revealed to you; Even if you are far away from Qianshan, he (she) believes you. Understanding requires understanding, consideration and love. Love, whether men or women, has both the need to hurt people and the need to be hurt. It's best not to think that you have met a purely fatherly man or a purely motherly woman who just wants to hurt others. Husband and wife should be like a pair of chopsticks, tasting the ups and downs of life together. He (she) is off work, you bring him a cup of cold boiled water; You lie on the sofa and fall asleep. He (she) can gently cover you with a quilt ... It may be a trivial matter, but only this little love can penetrate into your heart little by little and melt in your blood for a long time. Store your feelings. Everyone will have an emotional bank account in their heart. If you often store true love and tacit understanding in your emotional account, the more money you have in your account, the more happiness you can extract, and the benefits of smiling, gentleness, encouragement and comfort. Even if you withdraw money occasionally because of selfishness or thoughtlessness, you will not overdraw. If there is little money in the account, every conflict will increase its severity. When the reserves of trust and appreciation are in debt, if they continue to overdraw, feelings or marriages will be pushed to the brink of destruction. Life is complicated, we may lose control and occasionally hurt our spouses. The most effective way to avoid emotional bank account overdraft is to save more money, say more words of thanks and appreciation, and do more caring things. Money and love for home have two foundations, one is money and the other is love, which are indispensable. Generally speaking, love needs bread. To put it mildly, the economic base determines the superstructure. No one can recognize that leaving money will at least affect love. However, money is a good thing, but also a bad slave. Never take money too seriously in family life. If you spend too much time on money and always use the "planned economy" to control the other party, so that the other party has no autonomy to "invigorate the economy", then it is bound to take things to extremes, and the other party may run away without implementing your "policy" one day. If there is no "bird" in the love nest of marriage, at this time, your mind will grow because of the absence of the other party, and you may really realize that money is dead after all, talent is alive, and only talent is the pillar of the emotional building. The Buddha, who cherishes good deeds, said: "Looking back a thousand times in my last life, I only earned this life." The vast world, neither early nor late. We met our other half. What fate it needs. We have no reason not to cherish this good fate. There is no reason for us to change channels at any time to treat our marriage like watching TV. Imagine: a person who didn't even take his first marriage seriously, can he manage his second marriage well? Yes, because people's thoughts, ideologies and feelings will change, which will affect the stability of the combination of men and women. If you don't meet a hopeless dead marriage, you must try your best to remedy it. Since we have held hands in this life, it is best to "hold your hand and grow old with your son" and never give up lightly! The highest state of learning to tolerate fashion is sexy, and the highest state of love is tolerance. A well-functioning marriage not only means mutual accommodation between husband and wife, but also means mutual compromise between ideal and reality. Home is a place to express feelings, not to reason. If you have feelings, there will be no reason. A philosopher said, "Turn a blind eye before marriage, and turn a blind eye after marriage." . How reasonable this sentence is, isn't it? A person cannot be perfect. The reason why you like a person today must be that a certain personality of this person attracts you and makes you fall in love. If you love someone deeply, you will always tolerate everything about him. Conversely, if you tolerate a person for a long time, you must love him or her very much. Tolerance, it can not only broaden the scope of communication, but also constantly expand their comfort zone. Ji Bolun, an independent personality, said when discussing marriage: "In unification, there should be a gap". Although the strings vibrate in the same tone, each string is separated, so that beautiful music can be played. Marriage is one-on-one freedom and one-on-one democracy. Don't be paranoid that "you are mine", which will turn your love nest into a prison for each other. Nine times out of ten, the people inside want to escape, just to see if he (she) has the courage. An old French song sings, "Love is sons of liberty, never after the rule". If we expect love to "grow", we must first make sure that it has been carefully cultivated and unswervingly cared for. Instead of changing yourself, let alone trying to change each other, it is better to adjust yourself to a moderate space, to be together and to be alone with each other. In the soil of marriage, let the personality of two trees grow freely, and naturally you can reap the fruits of happiness. Marriage is like chess, and the chess game is a man and a woman. From acquaintance to love, the two sides entered the besieged city of marriage with the blessing of firecrackers, and the game between them began. The first step for a man is to please a woman, and the first step for a woman is how to show her charm to the person she loves. After many contests, they began to understand each other's chess skills. Men began to take defense as the attack, from slaves to generals, and women took offense as the defense, from masters to maids. In the chess game of marriage, men and women change and influence each other, so there is often a greedy woman behind the fallen man. In the greed of material desire and lust, the woman sends her spouse to prison or the world of mortals rolls around. Behind successful and happy women, there is often a stupid man who eats in a bowl and greedily eats in a pot, hurting women and pushing his spouse to the remarkable list. Marriage is like chess, one's thinking affects the other's thinking. Then some people both failed in suspicion or misunderstanding, ruining the past happiness. I once read a cartoon: before marriage, a man chased a woman with an umbrella on a sunny day, and after marriage, a woman chased a man with an umbrella on a rainy day. Reproduction of its influence: psychological changes of men and women in today's marriage. Ways for husband and wife to get along II. Don't speak ill of your partner in front of others, because you can't wash your dirty linen in public. Love in Cholera wrote: One of our most common virtues is that we should not wash our dirty linen in public. Thus, it has been regarded as one of the criteria to judge whether a person has virtue or not. Every family has its own problems, but not everything can be widely reported. Especially when it comes to the contradiction between husband and wife, you can't talk to everyone. Maybe we want to get sympathy and understanding from others, but all we get is to let others see jokes. Don't quarrel in front of the old people, because you have to be filial to your parents. As an old man, what you want most is a good child. Whether you take care of them or not, you don't want children's families to always have conflicts. If couples always quarrel in front of their parents, it will not only make the elderly feel worried, but also make them feel uncomfortable. Don't quarrel in front of the children, because you have to take care of them. Parents are your children's first teachers, and they are the objects that children should follow. So the family atmosphere has a great influence on children. If the relationship between husband and wife is not good, frequent quarrels, especially in front of the children, will not only leave a shadow on the children's hearts, but also easily lead them to become autistic or violent people. So couples should not quarrel easily in front of their children. Don't always haggle, because tolerance is very important. If couples haggle too much, their feelings will not be easy to get close or appear cold. Since we are husband and wife, we must share many things. If one person is held responsible blindly, the day when this person is crushed is the day when the relationship between husband and wife ends. When your partner makes a mistake, if it is not a matter of principle, don't take it too seriously, otherwise it will only hurt your feelings. Don't always show off your abilities, because it's important to appreciate each other. Husband and wife are not competitive, so they don't need to behave too well in front of each other. If you don't grasp this degree well, it will make the other person feel that you despise his feelings. Over time, this relationship will be in danger sooner or later. The long-term relationship between husband and wife is mostly the result of mutual appreciation. Without mutual appreciation, feelings will vanish. Don't always give each other a bad look, because mutual understanding is very important. In life, there are indeed many people who vent their bad temper on the closest people. This kind of thing is especially obvious between husband and wife. Whether you often compare your partner with others or complain about others, it is actually a self-destructive behavior. This is not good for anyone, it will only hurt each other. Don't throw all your problems at each other, because a harmonious family is very important for a husband and wife to form a common family. What happens at home, big and small, is a common occurrence for couples, and they can't shirk their responsibilities. When we encounter difficulties, we will discuss them together. If nothing is done, the problem will not only be solved, but also make things more and more serious. Harmony between husband and wife is the key to family harmony. There is no right or wrong between husband and wife. If you have any problems, just solve them together. If you want to grow old together, you should remember these seven Don 'ts, which are very useful!