Old people who are unfit to take care of their children.

Old people who are unfit to take care of their children.

In daily life, many pregnant mothers go to work after giving birth to their children, and the children will take care of the elderly at home. In fact, there are advantages and disadvantages for the elderly to take care of their children. Let's share the old people who are not suitable for taking care of children.

Old people who are not suitable to take care of children 1 1, superstition.

An old woman said that her grandson was short of gold, so she immediately took off her gold ring and put it in her child's mouth. The three-month-old child swallowed it at once and almost lost his life.

There is also a grandmother who is very happy with her new grandson. According to custom, children should bathe with money. Results The child's skin was severely allergic, covered with red pimples and kept crying. In this case, grandma doesn't feel anything wrong.

Step 2 force children to eat

The old idea is that children are white and fat. Old people always want their children to have a big hug, so they are used to feeding and even running after them.

When some children don't want to eat, the old people threaten them, coax them with snacks, threaten them with words like "If you don't eat, I'll let the police take you away", and seduce them with cartoons ... In fact, the more they are forced, the more they reject eating, which also leads to their bad habits of eating snacks and watching TV.

3, chasing children to eat

In kindergartens and playgrounds, when children are having fun, the old man will take advantage of his carelessness to put a fruit in his mouth. In the eyes of the elderly: only at this time, children will not easily resist, and if one is stuffed, children will eat one. Eat one, even one.

Did the old man do the right thing? In fact, this little gesture can easily undermine the development of children's attention. Why do some children have poor attention at school? In fact, it has something to do with the "being disturbed" bit by bit when he was a child.

4. Dress children with lots of clothes

Old people are afraid of the cold, so they are used to wearing a lot of clothes for their children. Children are pure yang and are not afraid of cold unless they are born weak. In this way, when children exercise, it is easy to sweat, and the sweat is cold. Children who are hot and cold are more likely to get sick.

5. Encourage children to lie

My daughter has a sweet taste on her mouth, so my mother asked, have you eaten sugar? She thought about it and said, yes. Then grandpa rushed out and said, you traitor, I told you not to tell your mother, so you told your mother.

Mother knows that she can't have a conflict with the old man, so she has to suppress her emotions and say to her children: Tell her the truth. If she eats, she will eat. She won't let you eat?

The next day, the child ate candy again. When the mother asked again, the daughter wondered for a long time and thought about it. Did I eat or not? She doesn't know how he should answer.

On the one hand, the child is afraid that his grandfather will scold him as a traitor, and on the other hand, he is afraid that his mother will worry. You see, children are born diplomats, so many parents find that children can read words and observe emotions. They will see what their grandparents allow, and if their parents don't allow them, they will go to their grandparents instead.

6. Restrict children's exploration

Old people often tell children to run slowly and not to fall. After a year and a half, in fact, grandparents often don't pay attention, and the children are gone. So the old man was afraid: I just wanted to hold him. What happens when you often hold your baby? Once a child can walk, he doesn't want to go. He always wants to be held by an adult. Children will also form a sense of not daring to take risks. If there is danger ahead, it is better to stay with grandma. It's easy to raise timid children.

7. Hearing loss in the elderly

Some old people have hearing loss, and they always talk too loudly to their children. They are used to turning up the TV when watching TV. In the long run, it will damage children's hearing.

8. Meet the requirements of children to eat snacks.

When a child cries, he gives all kinds of sugar, soda and snacks, and loves his children to the point of freedom. Old people don't know what food additives are, and they don't know that snacks are harmful to children's health, and they don't know that additives can damage children's brains.

9. "substitute" children to do things

Mom asked: Baby, where did you play today?

Then grandma said that we went to the small park today.

Mom didn't say a word, and then asked, which child did you see today?

Grandma said: Who did we meet?

For another example, children like to help their mothers with food before eating, and the old people at home are very worried that their jobs will fall. Generally, children are brought up after the old people take over.

These behaviors actually reduce the opportunities for children to learn by themselves, and have an impact on children's language development and the development of motor coordination ability.

10, help children get dressed

Many children are three or four years old. They don't know how to tie their shoelaces and can't wear clothes. The old man said that the children and adults needed help, or that the children were not dressed correctly. Going out will make people laugh at adults for not doing their duty. But in fact, there is a process for children to learn to dress and wear shoes. If they make more mistakes, they will slowly correct themselves. Always help children wear them. Children have no chance to make mistakes and correct them, so naturally they won't.

1 1, the elderly lack vitality.

Nowadays, in big cities, the elderly in many families are older. Because young people in big cities spend more and more time getting married and having children, and spend less time with their children after work. These old people who lack vitality take care of their children and have little physical contact with them, which easily leads to the lack of children's sense of security. The contact between the mother's skin and the baby's skin is the basis for the baby to establish a sense of security.

Such children will not actively communicate with others when they grow up, and they don't know how to communicate with others. They tend to be introverted and even depressed.

12, accountability for children's falling tables.

The child hit the table and fell. The old man quickly picked up the crying child. "Hit it, the table is not good, hit the baby, hit it ..." Is this parenting or harmful? This kind of teaching allows children to distinguish right from wrong. When they grow up, they often blame their mistakes and faults on the objective environment or others. Such children are not good at self-summary and correction, and will eventually become self-deception.

13, cheating on children

"You ate this bowl of rice, and grandma will take you to buy sugar later." "Go to bed, and grandpa will take you to the park tomorrow." ... As a result, the children had a good time and went to bed, but grandparents deliberately forgot their promise, or simply said "I'll buy it for you next time" and "I'll take you to play next time". Children also have self-esteem, and they will be suspicious if they are cheated more.

Old people who are not suitable for taking care of children II. First, the personality defects of the elderly with children.

1, the long-term "absence" of parents can easily lead to the emotional loss of children.

Before, it was the most important period for children to build a sense of security, and it was also the key period for building self-awareness. If children are directly left to the elderly, the long-term "lack" of parents will make children emotionally alienated from their parents and even complain. This affects the status of parents in their hearts and the values of children's growth. And it is easy to form extreme personality characteristics such as sensitivity, fragility and irritability. This will not only affect children and families, but also affect society in the future.

2, the doting and connivance of the elderly, it is easy to make children have personality defects.

Many old people often have a kind of psychological compensation, which transfers and projects all the care they could not give their children when they were young to their grandchildren, and this care can easily become unprincipled accommodation and doting. Make children too "self-centered", affect the development of self-awareness, and form a selfish and willful bad character.

Whenever children have unreasonable demands, the elderly generally adopt a submissive way, so that children's mistakes can not be changed in time, and unreasonable demands are increasing. Once they are not satisfied, they will make noise and cry to force the old people to submit.

Children under the protection of grandparents are prone to two extremes: one is extremely timid, unsociable, taciturn, poorly adaptable and introverted; At the other extreme, he is indulgent, overbearing, difficult to manage and extroverted. He is a "bully" at home, but he has no independent ability outside. When encountering problems, he only knows to hide behind adults and seek protection.

3. The arranged substitution and protection of the elderly deprive children of the opportunity to practice and learn.

Old people spoil their children more than young people. They don't let them do anything, but they do everything. Because I care about my children, I don't want them to do housework, help them wash dishes, help them wash clothes and make beds. If they are not allowed to do it themselves, it is easy for them to be lazy, their clothes will reach out and their mouths will open.

These behaviors actually reduce the opportunities for children to practice by themselves, bind their hands and feet, make them miss the sensitive period of "packing things by themselves, putting things back in their original places and eating by themselves", and easily hinder the development of independent ability of infants and young children, so that they lose confidence when encountering difficulties, and will only cry and wait for help from others, instead of trying or exercising, and will only cry and lose their temper.

Many old people and parents even have to help answer when their children are talking, so that their language expression ability can not be exercised. This will also reduce the chances for children to learn by themselves. When they really start learning in the future, their adaptability will be much slower than that of other children, or even they will not be able to adapt at all.

4. The guidance of wrong thoughts will affect children's health.

The old man's idea is that if children eat more, they will grow well and develop well, and they are used to feeding until they catch up with each other. It is possible that the children have eaten enough, but the old people always think that the children have not eaten enough, and then they keep letting them eat. When the child doesn't want to eat, he will also feed it with snacks, which will easily cause the child's food to accumulate and not digest. Seriously, it will even damage the child's spleen and stomach and reduce the child's physical immunity. In winter, children are prone to catch cold, fever and cough.

In addition, the elderly are afraid of cold, so when they feel cold, they will feel that their children are cold, and then they are used to wearing a lot of clothes for their children. Except for children born with weak constitution, children generally have higher body temperature and are not afraid of cold. In this way, when children exercise, it is easy to sweat, and the sweat is cold. Children who are hot and cold are more likely to get sick.

5. The outdated educational concept has "restricted" children's exploration and innovative inquiry behavior.

Old people are easily bound by traditional ideas, slow to accept new things, relatively backward in education and parenting concepts, and the thinking mode and lifestyle formed over the years are not easy to change. Some old people simply don't realize their children's early education and intellectual development. They want their children to be smart and obedient and not good at guiding them in a scientific and creative way. Children are always eager to stop adventurous and innovative inquiry behaviors such as "disturbing" and "destroying" because of curiosity. It is easy to destroy children's natural curiosity, adventurous spirit and innovative spirit, and it is difficult for children to form friendly exchanges and good qualities (such as modesty and love of labor). Their backward education mode will affect the speed at which babies can accept new knowledge, resulting in their lack of creative thinking and divergent thinking consciousness.

Second, the disadvantages of the elderly with children

1, let the children stay at home

Children are naughty, and old people are too old to run, so they will directly let their children watch TV and play with toys at home. In fact, this is not good, because children will lack exercise, be weak and sick, and have insufficient light, which will have long-term effects. Moreover, the old people's voices are too loud, which will damage their hearing, and few outsiders will make them introverted.

2. Meet children's snack needs

If children often cry to buy snacks, don't agree, because junk food is not helpful to health, and long-term eating may also affect brain development, and children will lose their appetite when eating. Relying on crying for food for a long time will make children more willful in the future.

3. Feed the child bite by bite.

Many parents will feed their children bite by bite. In fact, this is not good, because children eat too fast, have weak chewing ability and have poor digestion. It is also possible that overfeeding makes the stomach bigger and finally obese. Children's eating style is disturbed and their attention will not be high. In the future, their attention will be easily distracted and dependent.

4. Wear a lot of clothes for children.

The child's cold hands and feet are probably because the blood circulation is not strong enough. In fact, it's normal, but parents will put a lot of clothes on them, which will lead to sweating and make them more likely to catch a cold.

5. Blame innocent people

When a child falls, many parents may tell the child that it's all his fault, we hit him and so on. In fact, this will make children develop the habit of shirking responsibility, because the object itself is innocent, and the child gets the wrong information and will think so in the future.

6. feudal superstition

If children are allowed to eat dirt or other unacceptable things, their mental and physical health will be affected.

7. Many restrictions

Children may have destructive behaviors, but some behaviors are adventurous and innovative. Don't rush to stop them at this time, otherwise it will easily make children timid.

8. make irresponsible remarks

If you often destroy the mother's image in front of the children, it will easily affect the parent-child relationship, endanger the child's health, and make him more likely to lie in the future. Moreover, children will follow suit, vilify others behind their backs and influence people's behavior.

Third, the harm of the elderly with children

way of life

When the elderly take care of their babies, there is a big problem with diet alone. Older people generally have a heavy taste when eating, and eating too much will affect their health and development problems. Some babies can't eat some food casually because they are still young, but the elderly don't know the knowledge of healthy eating. They just feed their babies in the old way. Diet plays a key role in a baby's health. If the diet is not good, the baby's body will often have problems.

security issue

I often see the news that "the old man has an accident with his baby". Old people often ignore their babies because of their limited energy, and their babies are very curious. There is no concept of "safety" in his world, and it is easy to cause some accidents if the old man doesn't look after the baby. In this case, mom and dad always regret it, but regret can't change the baby's safety.

demoralization

Now the family is basically children, and it is too late for the old man to spoil his grandson. How can he be willing to discipline him? I usually give my baby whatever he wants, even if I do something wrong, I can't bear to blame him. This kind of education is very unfavorable to the baby's growth. Living in this environment for a long time, the baby will become selfish and willful, and don't know if what he is doing is right or wrong.