The route of running classes for private enlightenment

Breaking news.

A: Whose parents don't want their children to be prodigies?

B: Who doesn't want their parents to live long?

A: It's all right now.

Everything is settled.

A: The prodigy training class has been opened.

B: The fairy qigong class has started.

Please give your child to me.

Please sell me your parents. Hungry ~ ~ ~ Give it to me.

A: I want to take your children to the 25th century.

B: That's a long way.

A: It is easy to make mistakes as soon as you enter.

B: I'm taking your parents to the cage, oh, to the country, to the country.

I want to teach your child a special foreign language.

B: What foreign language?

A: Universal language.

You can speak cosmic words with this accent.

It's 2 1 century now. How should we communicate with others when aliens come to our earth?

That can't be helped.

A: Let's talk about cosmology.

Can you speak the universal language?

A: I can't speak cosmic language. Dare I run a class?

Tell me something.

A: Let me say a few words.

B: Ah.

A: How much did you pay?

B: It costs money, too!

A: Oh, I calculated that a cosmic sentence is 8900 yuan.

B: I don't want money. I don't need it

You are so stingy. Forget it, forget it, forget it. Let me help the poor.

B: help the poor.

A: I said that cosmology made you wander in the twenty-fifth century.

B: I don't need it. I'll just play these two centuries.

A: Let me say a few words.

B: OK.

A: Let you have a taste.

B: OK.

A: Aliens came to our earth.

B: That's right.

You will receive me in Changsha.

B: how to receive it?

Aliens are coming.

B: Aliens saw it. What about those who have eaten the wind?

Have you had a meal

I didn't eat, did you?

Me neither.

Why don't you eat?

A: We aliens don't eat.

What do you eat?

A: Eat soft-shelled turtle. How do you hit people? You hit aliens. That's rude. Hey. Rude to aliens.

B: Eat soft-shelled turtle and you will know how to choose the right one! I saw the tortoise eat too much, so people walked sideways!

A: I translated it with you.

I have translated it. Is this called universal language?

A: Universal language. You don't understand the real universal language.

I don't understand. You, you, you say a cosmic word. How do you say "lightning" in cosmic language?

A: Electric light,

B: Ah,

A: Universal language.

B: universal language.

A: @ #% If you have to say it, you can tell me. . .

B: Again, again, speak slowly.

It lights up when you pull it.

B: take your time.

A: I don't understand. Slow down. If you slow down, it won't smell like this.

B: We just need to slow down and taste it. Coming.

It lights up when you pull it.

B: pull it and it will light up. Did you hear that? Is this your universal language? How do you greet people in the universe?

A: Universal language, say hello. We greeted each other as soon as we met.

Hmm.

Answer: @ # RMB% ...&; . Please, you have to ask. As soon as we meet cosmic people, as soon as we meet earthlings, @ # $% .................................................................................................................................................

B: This sentence is really a bit complicated. Again, again, again.

Answer: @ #% Come again.

B: Here we go again.

Do you think this man is unhappy?

Slow down, slow down.

A: Eight or nine hundred dollars went out.

B: Say, say.

It is raining outside.

B: It's raining outside.

A: Don't go out.

B: Don't go out.

My shoes are soaked through.

My shoes are soaked through.

A: It's raining outside. Do not go out. Your shoes are soaked through. What a wonderful cosmic language!

B: I didn't know I had to wear a pair of overshoes when I went out. My shoes are soaked through.

A: You don't understand.

B: How do you say "taxi" in cosmic language? "taxi"

A: Xialituo.

B: What about China Merchants Bank?

A and B: Step on one foot.

How can you speak the common language?

How can I?

A: Huh?

B: Yes! I want you to teach me? I have been in China Merchants Bank for more than ten years, and I don't know how to shout "step on one foot".

A: Whose money is the easiest to cheat now? Huh?

B: Huh?

A: Children's money is best cheated.

Do you believe in cheating?

A: Ah.

B: It's different here!

What's the matter with you?

B: Seriously,

A: Huh?

B: the fairy qigong training class has started.

This is a lesson.

B: This magic class is specially designed for the elderly.

A: Very good!

B: The following courses have been offered.

A: What courses?

B: First of all!

A: Huh?

B: Pay!

A: That's right.

B: Second!

A: collect money!

How did you know?

A: Our courses are the same at this point!

B: After receiving the money, I began to teach the elderly to practice Qigong.

What qigong do you practice?

First, we practice porters.

Oh, are you a temporary worker there?

What do temporary workers do?

The porters have all gone to work for your family.

B: You don't understand. Mind transfer.

A: Mind transfer?

B: move things through space!

A: I have heard of it.

B: This is advanced Qigong. You have practiced this kind of Qigong. On that day, you found a banquet next door.

A: Press.

B: delicious seafood, raw seafood. Does it taste good？

A: Delicious.

Do you want to eat?

A: Yes.

There is no money in the pocket.

A: What should I do?

B: Change of mind.

A: I'll practice your kung fu.

B: As soon as you work hard, you sit at home and say the mantra.

What spell?

B: Delicious seafood, raw seafood and ready-to-eat seafood.

A and B: Hahahahaha ~ ~ ~

Are you chanting?

B: Ah.

You're crazy. What do you do? What do you do? ...

B: Eat!

A: Eat!

B: Eat! Eat! Say another spell after eating.

A: What was the spell again?

B: Leftovers. Get ready. Let's go. Ho ho ho ~ ~ ~

It's easy for you. You don't even wash the dishes, you.

B: it's still at the primary level. .

A: Advanced stage.

B: That would be great.

What's that spell?

B: Say a spell when you are really poor.

Say what spell?

Industrial and Commercial Bank, Agricultural Bank, Bank of Communications, Bank of China. ...

A and B: Get ready to go.

A: Shoot you! You can let him handle all the money easily.

That's what I'm saying.

A: That's how Kung Fu is practiced.

B: If you don't practice this skill, I have other skills for you to practice.

Practice what kung fu?

B: Through the wall.

A: Through the wall.

B: There is a wall blocked here, and no one can get through.

A: In mythology.

B: You have learned how to walk through walls.

I heard.

B: Take a sip and it's over.

A: I have kung fu.

Take a sip and come back.

A: Free to come and go.

B: Through the wall!

A: Through the wall.

Not even the thickest wall. Take a sip and go in.

A: Kung Fu is great.

B: Take a sip and come out.

Why did you rush out again?

B: There is a boiler in it.

A: I dare not "sip" anywhere without scalding you.

B: So this kind of kung fu is more difficult to practice.

A: What's the matter?

B: Ah, many old people here, alas, can't get through with their heads smashed.

A: I can't get through if I kill him. Practice this.

B: it's more difficult to practice.

A: Oh! Let me tell you something! I am a child prodigy class!

B: Oh!

A: I heard that the prodigy class was established.

Hmm.

A: Oh, there are too many parents who have signed up here.

B: Oh!

A: It has exceeded the warning water level on May 4.

B: you still have floods!

Oh, the registration fee has skyrocketed.

B: Oh!

A: I charged 300 yuan in the morning and 30 thousand yuan in the afternoon. Later, I dared not accept it.

B: That's right.

I'm afraid of being arrested.

That will arrest you.

No I don't.

B: That's right.

A: That's about it.

B: Hehe!

A: At this time, a father (Ya) came in with his son (Otaku). His son (otaku) looks like this, facing me, here he comes.

B: What's the situation?

Do you still accept prodigies here?

Oh, this is the mental hospital next door.

Can I take this as soon as I see it?

B: No way.

A: Absolutely not. I am firm. I won't accept it.

B: Right, right, right.

A: No.

B: That's right.

His father has an idea.

B: Oh.

A: Take out 50,000 yuan and pat it on the table.

B: Oh!

I can't believe you don't accept it.

Hmm.

A: I am firm.

B: That's right.

A: Protect the reputation of our prodigy class!

B: Be strong.

A: I said no,

B: Good!

A: It's for nothing!

B: I'll take it anyway!

A: Oh, this is a prodigy! You don't understand.

B: It's also called a child prodigy.

A: Oh, he's deaf! receive

You are not as good as me. On the first day of enrollment that day, tens of thousands of people came. Everyone says I'm a master!

A: The master came out of the mountain.

B: catch me talking nonsense.

A: A touch of immortality.

They tore their clothes and trousers.

A: OK.

B: in the end, I can't help it.

A: What's the matter?

B: When I came back, there was a leaf on the wall.

A: You are a master! He's completely insane. He was discharged from the hospital. What are you?

You just exposed my scam.

A: My prodigy class is selected on the basis of merit.

Oh, merit-based admission.

I will recruit two prodigies from you on the spot.

B: Oh, recruit a child prodigy.

You, little friend, come here. How old are you standing here? Kid.

Me?

A: Ah.

B: Seven years old.

A: Seven years old is old enough!

B: Seven years old.

A: Seven years old.

B: Hey!

What does your father do?

B: Dad, the manager.

Oh, the manager's son. Where is the manager?

Butcher's manager.

Butcher's manager.

B: Yes.

Come on, you're already half a prodigy.

Oh, half a prodigy.

A: You will be called Bantong. The butcher shop is ok, remember.

B: Ah!

Every time he comes to my class, the pig comes.

B: Oh.

A: Carry a pig's head. I like eating pig's head.

B: Pig, I can't move the pig's head.

Answer: Carry your back and head and back to school.

B: I have a pig skull on my skull! Do you think it's weird? You know I'm a prodigy.

A: What about those who don't know?

I thought the pig was standing.

You, you, you come here.

I am a genius. this is ...

A: You, you, you.

B: Have another drink.

A: You! How old are you?

I am six years old.

Well, the six-year-old child is older than the seven-year-old child.

B: I am precocious.

A: Six years ago. What does your father do?

B: Dad, the manager.

Manager, where is the manager?

B: The manager of the capital store.

A: What?

B: The Capital Store.

A: Get out!

B: Why?

A: How dare you sign up for the manager's baby!

You don't think I'm coming.

A: The manager of the butcher shop signed me up to eat meat here, and the manager of your shroud store signed me up here. I wore a birthday dress and gave lectures to everyone. I know I'm Miss Yang.

B: What about those who don't know?

A: I thought I forged the body! Here it is. @ #% * will become a common language.

B: Hehe, it turns out that my home is Shoufu Store.

A: Oh.

B: Now my dad doesn't sell birthday clothes.

What did you do?

He is the boss of this group.

A: What? ! ! !

B: the boss of the group.

You should have said so! Qun, you are a child prodigy! What group?

Theft ring. Hehe ~ ~

A: Get out! Theft group, you are registered here, you

So this is not a good idea.

A: How?

B: On the first day of signing up for my immortal qigong class, I had a live qigong treatment.

A: On-site handling.

B: Ladies and gentlemen, this Qigong master can cure all diseases!

Let's see how to cure this disease.

What's the matter with you?

A: Me? There is nothing wrong with it!

It's no big deal,

A: Ah!

If you are not sick, I can cure you!

What is this?

I will prevent your illness.

That's more like it.

B: Ahhh ~ ~ ~ ~

A: Ouch ~ ~ ~!

B: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A: Scared to death! !

You see, I can push people.

A: I'm not moving. I'm afraid you will hit me.

B: Stand still.

Can you stand still and not hit anyone?

B: Don't call if you are obedient.

What class is this? Teachers also hit people.

B: cure the disease!

A: cure the disease!

Hello,

A: Hi ~ ~ ~ ~, you, what are you doing?

B: Get rid of your illness and throw it away.

Oh, you startled me. I thought you were robbing my wallet! you

B: qigong cures diseases!

A: Qigong cures diseases.

B: Stomach trouble. Throw it away.

A: I threw away my stomach trouble. It's been a year.

B: Cancer, throw it away.

A: Cancer?

B: Meningitis, throw it away.

When did you have meningitis?

B: Pig liver, throw it away, kidney flower, throw it away.

A: You have to throw it away, too. You come here to cook. You abandoned everything.

B: it really works!

A: What spirit?

B: There is an old lady who has been paralyzed for decades.

A: Huh?

B: I didn't catch it sitting there two or three times.

A: Huh?

B: She actually got up from the wheelchair.

A: I've heard of people getting up from wheelchairs.

B: I ran 7749 times around the gym.

A: ouch!

B: Isn't God God?

A: Oh, my God!

Are you sure?

A: Yes!

You know why not?

A: What's the matter?

B: I, menstruation, lied.

A: Bah! !

B: Ha ha ha!

A: Your class is much more immoral than mine.

B: Let's do the same!

A: In my class, the teaching content is a word "play:"

B: Playing?

A: My parents left their children with me. And then don't let parents watch it.

B: Oh!

A: Whoever peeks will be fined 20,000 yuan.

B: That's right.

A: Parents dare not look.

B: Hmm!

Oh, come and play with me. Before school, play until next semester. Some children play from five to sixteen. His father was in a hurry that day,

B: In a hurry!

A: Come here, come here, come here. A genius.

Hmm.

I have studied world languages for ten years. I haven't seen an astronaut come to our earth. I don't think I'll ever see a cosmic person again.

B: It's rare.

Tell you what, you tell me something about the universe.

Ah, the universal language.

I am very happy with your father. What did dad say? Cosmic language.

Yes, the universal language.

Answer: @ # RMB% ...

B: What?

A: I'm fidgeting. @#￥%……

B: speak slowly.

A: Grandpa's baby.

Dad is grandpa's baby. Where's grandpa?

A: Dad's dad.

B: you save trouble!

A: His father read this universal language ten years later.

B: Huh?

A: Oh, take such a thick stick and bring me a German shepherd.

What do you mean?

A: He said he would kill me and feed it to the dog.

B: Oh!

A: One piece at a time. Hey, watch out for poison. Fortunately, I was away, so I went to Hexi to enroll students.

You are very clever.

A: This is called thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi!

B: You are really good. You lied about the water level.

A: I cheated the water level.

Me too. There are only thirty old men in my magic class.

A: Hmm!

B: After practicing Qigong for five years, several people died and some were paralyzed.

A: everyone is unfamiliar.

B: Several people are possessed by computer viruses.

A: Hmm!

B: Get up at 3: 30 every morning and shout outside. Ouch ... I couldn't stop until I vomited blood.

A: Look at the training.

B: Only a few people have actually practiced walking through walls.

A: Did it pass?

B: yes.

Why did you climb the wall?

B: I'm at the police station now, and the police station has asked me to lead people many times.

Did you go?

I'm not that stupid! I led people to arrest me. One day, an old man asked me out for dinner.

A: Eat.

I looked out of the window. Right?

A: What's the matter?

B: There are five or six hundred old people coming down outside. Everyone took a croquet stick and put it there.

I see. I think you will end up like me. You have to be beaten to death with a stick.

What should I do?

What should we do?

What should I do?

Answer: through the wall, through the wall.

B: I want to go through the wall. What class am I going to take? It's much easier for me to put it on and go to the bank to get some money!

Think about the bank money.

B: I'm in a hurry.

A: What should I do?

B: I took two umbrellas and jumped directly from the fifth floor.

A: skydiving?

B: If it weren't for the poor quality of this umbrella now.

A: What's the matter?

B: Just jump to the fourth floor and a half and then turn it over.

A: ouch!

B: I fell directly with two umbrella sticks in my arms.

A: I think your brains will fall out.

I'm talking about the air spell.

A: Oh! Fight again!

B: You can't die if you fall for no reason. You can't die if you fall for no reason.

Go, I'm scared to death. What are you talking about?

B: it really works.

A: It's working again.

B: Right below is the farmers' market. I made a big hole in the asbestos tile and planted your skull in a live fish pond.

A: In a live fish pond.

B: The fish buyer next to me is nearsighted and always looks into the pool.

Look inside.

This fish is bigger.

That's really big.

This is a shark.

(End)