The relationship between father and son has always been very bad. How to solve it?

When you write these words, you are still in those strong and complicated emotions, as you said, there are sadness, fear, helplessness … even some despair.

About your relationship with your father, you mentioned a lot bit by bit: he loved you very much when he was a child,/kloc-cried when he sent you to work at the age of 0/6; Although the family is not very rich, the person you talked to spent a lot of money but he gave it to you; Since three years ago, you two have had conflicts because of one or two sentences, such as sleeping late, charging phone bills, etc ... These things don't seem to be like the "father-son relationship has always been bad" written in your question. On the contrary, I feel that there is a deep bond between your father and son, and both he and you have deep feelings for him.

It's just that in the last three years, you and your father have been nervous sometimes, but you don't really want to. For example, you will admit that you didn't do well, and even write a note to apologize to your father. You mentioned that you consulted a fortune teller, and I believe you are really worried. Besides, I think you will agree with the fortune teller that "you are filial in your heart but not in your mouth"-maybe you are filial by nature and love your father very much, but sometimes you can't help but pass him by because of some small things, and the result turns into an unpleasant situation for both sides. This result also makes you feel guilty and uneasy.

And your love for your father, I guess, may be mixed with a little hate-"he asked me to study architecture when I was not in school." I don't like that. I suffered a lot in those years, especially in my heart. I have never been happy in recent years. " It seems that you obeyed his arrangement, but in fact you have been suffering and unhappy these years. Maybe this also made you complain and dissatisfied with him, so now when dad always thinks you have to do things according to his ideas, you will resist because you also have your own ideas.

Maybe these negative emotions will also make you feel very tortured by filial piety.

You said that you are sitting at home shivering now, and you are afraid when you see that your father doesn't like you. And you're not afraid of him hitting you, just afraid of that feeling, even making you tremble all over.

I don't know what you're afraid of.

Does that feeling have anything to do with your life now except dad?

From your description, it seems that many things have happened in the last year: your girlfriend left, your baby disappeared, and you are waiting at home to go out to make money next year ... It seems that you are also under great realistic pressure now. And these pressures, you may not be able to talk to your parents, so you have to bury them in your heart and feel particularly annoyed and have nowhere to vent.

Maybe these things also make you, a little impatient, even more unbearable to get along with your equally impatient father. It seems that a little thing can ignite the explosives in your heart-and because you love your family, you can't let them really jump out and hurt your family, so you just have to say to your father, "Leave me alone."

If you can find some reasonable and legal ways, such as exercise or work, throw them out, maybe you will be more relaxed.

You mentioned the problem of family money several times, and your family spent a lot of money. You can feel that you have some feelings here, which may make you feel sorry for everyone, your parents and your lost girlfriend. You live in pain every day. You even said that you are willing to give your bone marrow and kidney to your family, as if you want to compensate them in this way instead of your efforts and struggles.

Maybe you are really not in the mood, have no strength, and can't face the unknown future at this particularly difficult time, then you can also consider using this time to sort out what you are afraid of, whether it is worthwhile to let these fears stop your progress, and whether there are really some things you can do.

I think that when you adjust your state, your relationship with your father may also be eased.

I hope the above answers can enlighten you.