rich joke

The plot of the story is simple and ingenious, the plot of the joke is simple and ingenious, and the funny jokes will make people feel very happy. The implication is actually very interesting, so let's share some jokes that make people laugh.

Funny joke 1 1. GDP grows as fast as a beard, and wages grow as slowly as eyebrows!

Hey, how did you learn to smoke?

I will, when I steal the forbidden fruit from Adam and Eve ~

Do you know why Adam and Eve stole the forbidden fruit?

AB: I don't know!

Because Adam has no cigarettes! (hint: homophonic words)

Someone has just been abandoned by his girlfriend and happened to meet his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the angrier he became, trying to humiliate them. So I made a polite greeting and said contemptuously to my girlfriend's new love, "You don't dislike my second-hand goods!" " Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend smiled and said, "One inch outside is old, and the inside is brand new!" "

Can you be my bird flu this season?

5. Warmly celebrate the year-end rebate promotion of our canteen! I only got the participation prize-fifty cents, but I found it in the dish!

6. Used. College advanced mathematics textbooks are for sale, 90% new, as evidenced by transcripts!

7. When we parted, she gave me a kiss, which felt as real as People's Daily. ...

8. I just saw something like a news scroll bar on the top of my senior's computer screen, and the words on it passed quickly.

I am curious to ask: Is this the lyrics? Senior: Yes! Senior: How did it pass so quickly? I didn't even see it clearly! Senior: From Jay Chou! !

9. There was a man who looked like a telephone, and he was beaten when he was walking …

A man who looks like intel was hooked up while walking …

There is a man who looks like jiaozi, and he was wrapped up when he walked …

10. Ask the canteen: cold. What can I eat to keep warm?

A: Eating cotton helps to keep warm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

1 1.M: I really love you. Please be my girlfriend! !

Woman: But I have no feelings for you at all! !

M: Well, you tell me what's wrong with me and I'll change it! ! !

Woman: Then tell me what is good about me first, and I'll change it! ! !

12. The director and the section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't let it go ... Soon the section chief was dismissed, and the director said at the meeting: You can't afford to fart. What's your use?

13. In fact, the Olympic mascot should be designed as "a million heroes crossing the river", with one million * * * in various forms. If you want to buy, you have to buy1100,000 at a time. If you lose one, you lose your collection value and get rich. ...

14. Miss: Business is bad now! Boss: Why? Miss: "Bird flu ..."

15. A woman trembled when she met a robber. She said, "I'm XX. I just graduated and haven't found a job yet. I really have no money ... "The robber even cried after hearing this. "Elder sister, I am also XX. You take your student ID card, and the robber in front is XX. Don't worry, we will never rob our own people! "

Funny joke 2 1. Between relatives, talking about money hurts feelings.

2. Before: First-class students went abroad, second-class students took the postgraduate entrance examination, and third-rate students were employed.

Half the books in the world are written by fools for fools.

4. It's always dark when the evening is beautiful.

5. 120xx years ago, coolies died of overwork, model workers died of overwork 50 years ago, and now artists die of overwork.

6. Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.

7. Women are made of water, men are made of mud, and Li Junji and Chris Lee are both made of cement.

8. Men who go to bars are looking for excitement, while women are mostly looking for excitement.

9. Humor means that a person has an interest in laughing when he wants to cry.

10. There are no handsome guys in the world. With high technology, it will come naturally.

1 1. The stars in the sky are shining. Which one is your Altair, Vega? I was tortured on July 7. Your heart, my heart, heart to heart!

12. Some words are quite open-minded, while others will be furious.

13. Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!

14. Money is not a problem, but no money.

15. You can see the words I typed on the screen, but you can't see the tears I dropped on the keyboard. ...

16. Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

17. Fate is responsible for shuffling cards, but it is ourselves who play cards!

18. I refuse to obey anyone when I am drunk, just hold the wall.

19. It is not necessarily monks who burn incense, but pandas.

Fire can test gold, gold can test women, and women can test men.

2 1. Water can carry boats and cook porridge.

22. The effect of contraception: if you don't succeed, you will become an adult.

23. If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!

24. The direction against the wind is more suitable for flying. Not afraid of being blocked by ten thousand people, I am afraid of surrendering myself.

25. Zhuge Liang never took a single soldier before he came out of the mountain! Why do I need work experience?

Funny joke 3 1. One day in class, the professor gave the students a big exam temporarily. After the exam, all the students handed in their papers. The professor found that a student put 100 dollars in the test paper, and there was a note saying "one yuan a minute". Next class, the professor will return the paper. In addition to the examination paper, the students also got the $56 that the professor changed.

Every time I go home, my mother will get me a fish to eat, but I don't like fish at all, and it's hard to say. I was afraid of losing my mother's heart, so I asked my father by innuendo, "Why do I always eat fish?" I don't like it! "

The dog is not afraid. After taking the brick away, he put it in the corner where he had been. When the man saw it, he gave a sloped smile. This dog probably hates that he has no place to live. Dogs always live in the corner of the house, and men will put an unwanted cloth to keep warm. But when it is windy and rainy, it will still get wet and be blown away by the wind. This is probably because dogs also want to have a nest of their own, so they take bricks away every day.

4. Go to breakfast with a buddy. I went to the buns shop and bought some big meat buns. They sat there eating. After eating half a steamed stuffed bun, these two idiots poked their fingers under the steamed stuffed bun and shouted at me, "Look, there is a finger in the steamed stuffed bun!" " "At that time, a few guests jumped up ...

When I was a child, I thought life was: all the best, more than a year. When I grow up, I find that life is: everything happens unexpectedly, and there is more than one year, and there is less than one year.

6. At my age, I will sing softly in your ear. I like your body to give you a bag, leaving only mosquitoes.

7. The ship of friendship capsized, the ship of love sank, and the flame of family went out. Only canoes in single dog can stand!

8. Wife: "How kind you were to me before you got married. If you run into a puddle while walking, carry me there. Now, you don't do this. I think you love me only half as much as before. " Husband: "What can I do? At that time, your weight was only half that of today! "

9. I dreamed of being chased by a group of big men with five big and three thick last night. After I caught up with them, I put a sack on my head and beat them up. Then I woke up right away. Oh, I went, broke out in a cold sweat, and then fell asleep. Soon I saw the big man waving a sack and saying, Yo! How dare you come back! I dare not sleep all night.

10. I was in a hurry to go out today, and I drove a little fast. I accidentally scraped an old lady and quickly got off the bus and said, "Sister, are you okay?" The old lady got up and patted the clothes and said, "The young man has a sweet mouth. I'm fine. Go! " It's easy to react happily.

Woman: Let's break up! Man: Why, we are destined to be together. The woman took out a coin: I'll throw it for you to guess. If you're right, it's providence. Break up if you guess wrong! Man: Since you insist, come on. The woman threw a coin and dragged it in her hand: guess how big this coin is?

12. My wife asked me in her newly bought clothes, "Is it nice?" "Good-looking, very suitable for you!" My wife slapped me after listening, and I said, "Actually, it's not particularly nice." My wife slapped me again. I asked, "Tell me how to answer!" My wife touched my face: "Is it meaningful to ask so many questions? I just want to hit you!

13. Trafficker Zhang met a beautiful woman on the train. Zhang suggested going to a mountain village in Shanxi to experience the farmhouse music after getting off the train. The beauty shyly agreed. There is a family in that village who needs to buy a daughter-in-law This beautiful woman is sure to fetch a good price, and Zhang is flattered. Who knows that after arriving, Zhang was dragged into a black coal mine by several strong men. It turned out that he was sold here as a coolie by beautiful women. ...

14. A new colleague in the company is young and sweet. Call a female colleague a sister when you see her. On this day, when she saw a colleague named Yao, the little girl called her "Sister Yao" ... Yao's colleague was green at that time.

15. Go on a blind date Girl Q: Do you give your seat to grandma by bus when you go out? I said decisively: Jean, you must! Hearing this, she said that we were not suitable, and then she left. I wonder, giving up your seat is good moral character, so why not? Later, I thought, rich people by bus!

16. I saw a website for disease consultation on the Internet. Some netizens asked: Doctor, I can't sleep recently, and I am very depressed. I can't eat. Am I swollen? A doctor asked: How old are you this year? User reply: 15 years old. The doctor said, you haven't finished your homework yet. ...

17. When I went home for the New Year, I thought that no one had rented a girlfriend to go home for 2000 yuan. The agreement is to eat, and I will never do anything wrong. At first, it was nothing. Later, relatives at home began to give her gifts. After a week, she looked at me seriously with tears in her eyes and said, why don't you make do ... I don't want to return these things. ...

18. The one who lifted the teacher's skirt in the sixth grade and reviewed it under the national flag!

19. An old lady next to her couldn't help but say, it's amazing. Can you cure the boy's hemorrhoids?

20. Old man: "I don't know. It's just that he will rob our village every time he comes. "

2 1. One day, a person went to a restaurant for dinner.

22. The proprietress went to feed him.

23. "Why are people closer to the north more direct?"

24. I just went to buy watermelons. Tell the boss that smaller families don't stutter.

25. Fortune teller: "Then get used to this life ...

26. a: it's the first time I've celebrated tanabata. Can I call it the top seven?

27.a: accident insurance.

28. I really regret going to Peking University instead of Lan Xiang University. . .

29. Soon, the chef came out with a kitchen knife: "Come and tell me how to do it, come on!"

30. Tang Priest: "Oh, it turned out to be a fish in troubled waters.