How does psychology explain the unnatural situation as long as you talk to someone you like?

Today is the 326th day of Sanshang Reading Club. Continue reading influence. Today, we will read the fifth chapter of this book. The theme of this chapter is "preference". Through today's content, you will understand how people's preferences and goodwill are generated and how to control them.

To sum up, liking and liking are mainly influenced by five factors, namely, appearance charm, similarity, compliment, contact and cooperation, reflection and relevance.

The following detailed analysis of these five factors.

1st appearance charm

Research shows that we will actively add some positive characteristics to good-looking people, such as talent, kindness and intelligence. And our view of a person is usually dominated by a certain positive feature of this person, so a person's appearance charm can often affect other people's judgment, and this influence often happens unconsciously.

People with good looks and outstanding temperament are more likely to be favored by interviewers when applying for jobs, to be helped by others when they need help, and even to be more convincing when arguing.

However, outstanding appearance also brings trouble. When you become a competitor of others, especially a rival in love, your outstanding appearance will aggravate your opponent's hatred for you.

Second similarity

Although it is easy to be liked by people because of their outstanding looks, most people are average-looking after all. In addition to appearance, there are other factors that can make people feel good, and the most influential one is similarity.

We all like people who are similar to ourselves, regardless of their views, personalities, backgrounds or lifestyles.

Because similarity can arouse goodwill, and similarity is easy to be forged, you can win the goodwill of the target object by establishing similarity in your life or work, such as similar dress styles, similar hobbies, the same hometown or school, etc. Of course, you should also be wary of those who claim to be like you and want something from you, because they are likely to use or even forge similarities to win your favor.

The third compliment

The third factor that can generate liking and affection is compliment. Everyone likes to listen to compliments and flattery, with no exception. Although sometimes we hear compliments from others to please us or have other intentions, we will still be very happy in our hearts. In general, we are always easy to trust compliments from others and like those who are good at saying good things.

The fourth contact and cooperation

Contact and cooperation can also produce likes and good feelings. Because familiarity will affect people's preferences, more contact and cooperation will enhance each other's familiarity and increase each other's likes and goodwill. This is why we often say that "love grows with time". But there are exceptions, such as contact under unpleasant conditions such as setbacks and contradictions, which will bring boredom and even hatred.

Fifth reflection and correlation

The fifth factor that produces love and affection is reflection and association. In ancient times, if messengers brought back news of victory, they were often welcomed like heroes, and if they brought back news of defeat, they even risked being beheaded. We are willing to tell others good news instead of bad news, even if the news itself is not caused by us. Among them, the relevance principle is at work. Whether it's good or bad, as long as it's accidentally connected with us, it will affect people's feelings about us.

Therefore, car manufacturers will look for beautiful models for car platforms and shoot advertisements symbolizing a better life and free travel. This is to hope that people will associate cars with beautiful women, freedom and a better life and win people's goodwill. Similarly, it is also the reason why brands invite celebrities to speak for them, that is, they want to link the brand image with the beautiful image of the stars. It is very important for businesses to establish contact. Logic is not important, as long as it is positive and positive.

Another interesting discovery in related fields is "luncheon", which means that people usually have a good impression on people or things they come into contact with while eating.

Another example of Lenovo's liking is sports competition. The deep-seated reason why people are crazy in sports competition is not the artistry and appreciation of the competition, but that people associate themselves with their favorite athletes or teams, so they will be emotional and crazy when they see winning or losing.

There are more or less such people around us. They don't have much to boast about, but they often say that they are good friends with someone (a celebrity), or that one of their friends or relatives is very powerful. Such people associate themselves with success and make themselves look different.

How does No.6 refuse to like the intention behind it?

Knowing the five factors that can produce liking and goodwill, we can control liking and goodwill by making these factors appropriately. These methods can be used by us, and some people will use them to win our favor and achieve other purposes, so identifying and preventing this kind of sugar-coated cannonball has become a necessary skill.

We don't need to reject those things that induce us to have a good impression, and even we can accept them naturally, as long as we are careful of the excessive good impression they bring. Once the limit is exceeded, we will start the defense mechanism. At this time, we should focus on the result rather than the cause, that is to say, we should be aware of this goodwill and be able to talk about people and things separately.

For example, if you buy a car and receive your salesman, you like it very much. At this time, you should pay attention to blocking the connection between the salesman and the car, and simply consider the car, not because the salesman affects your judgment on the car.

That's the chapter on "preference" in the book Influence. Let's call it a day. See you at seven tomorrow morning.