Why is it so difficult to take care of my children? Expert: A child's character is predestined in the womb.

Many mothers will wonder: "why do many people learn some parenting knowledge and take care of their babies in the same way?" Other people's children are good babies, so it is so difficult for my children to take care of them? " What's wrong with it? "

In fact, it is not the mother who made a mistake to the baby, but the child's personality is different. Apart from excluding the physical factors, environmental factors and upbringing factors of children, whether a child is good, whether the demand is high or not, and whether his personality is good or not is already doomed in his mother's womb. Many times, newborn babies have different personalities.

We often find that even a newborn baby, some babies eat and sleep, and can play by themselves when they wake up. Don't cry or make trouble, it's very worry-free. Moreover, some babies are naturally demanding, crying and difficult to coax, and it is difficult for the whole family to go into battle together. It will be more obvious when the baby is older. Some children are smart and lovely, while others are lively and active, and they have become "Ralph the loser" in the family.

This is because babies with the same "factory configuration" are born with different "personality programs"-different temperament types, which lead to their different personalities.

Children's temperament is the unique behavior of every child, and it is also their personality traits and emotional motivation.

As early as the 5th century BC, Hippocrates, an ancient Greek doctor, divided human temperament into sanguine temperament, choleric temperament, mucinous temperament and depressive temperament, and different temperament types showed different personalities.

On this basis, Professor Thomas and Professor Chase of new york University Medical Center in the United States classified children's temperament types into easy-to-educate, slow-to-educate and difficult-to-educate types according to their activity level, regularity and adaptability.

1, easy-to-educate type: a typical representative of "other people's children", with a calm mood and parents' worries.

40% of babies are easy to educate. These children show stable emotions from birth. They are calm, adapt to the environment, can effectively comfort themselves and are easy to satisfy. Many mothers are usually more worry-free when taking care of such babies, and they are the "angel babies" in everyone's eyes.

When this kind of baby is a little older, it will obviously show optimistic, cheerful, positive and friendly personality, easy to accept new things, eager for knowledge, strong concentration, good at communicating with others and easy to be loved by others.

2. Slow-heating type: the representative of cute Xiaobao, quiet, clever and shy.

The proportion of these babies is about 15%. They are born with slow fever, quiet and peaceful, slow to respond to external stimuli and slow to adapt to the environment, but they can accept the comfort of their parents. When I grow up, I will be introverted and shy.

3, difficult to educate: emotions are complex and changeable, and parents rely on "luck" to give parents a headache.

This group of babies only accounts for 65,438+00%. Because of their poor circadian rhythm, they are naturally prone to crying, irritability, emotional instability, difficulty in adapting to the new environment, nervousness, anxiety and inattention, so they are particularly difficult to coax. Parents will also think that this kind of baby is too demanding, especially difficult to take care of, and it belongs to the "little devil" in the eyes of adults, while the older generation always says "this child is here to beg."

The temperament characteristics of children at birth are relatively stable, but they will also change in the process of interaction with the external environment in the later stage. We need targeted training to foster strengths and avoid weaknesses.

1, understand and accept

There is no difference among the three temperament types, and each has its own advantages and disadvantages. Parents should not force their children to rebel just because they think it is good or bad, which will suppress their normal psychological growth.

For example, a baby who is difficult to educate is emotionally unstable. Parents should not think that this is a child's deliberate "disobedience" and suppress it through compulsory means; A slow-moving baby has a slow response and poor adaptability. Parents should not always think that it is because he is "stupid".

Therefore, we must first understand and accept the types of children's innate temperament, truly understand the differences of children, and then carry out the next education.

Step 2 understand and adjust

As the saying goes, "A leopard cannot change his spots, but his nature cannot change", so it is difficult to change a child's innate temperament. In the process of raising children, we should pay attention to understanding their nature and make adjustments without violating their nature.

For example, children who are difficult to educate are naturally demanding, sensitive and irritable, and have a poor sense of security. Parents should understand their children's behavior, not only because they are difficult to coax, but because they refuse to teach. Instead, we should understand their behavior, give them more patience and tolerance, and help them build a sense of security and a good attachment relationship with their families.

3, targeted training, try to foster strengths and avoid weaknesses.

For babies with different temperament types, we should pay attention to foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, and give full play to the character strengths of all kinds of babies.

For example, babies who are easy to educate are naturally optimistic and cheerful, with strong concentration and good communication skills. In the process of training, we can pay attention to cultivating children's learning ability and leadership ability.

For example, slow-moving babies are naturally introverted and quiet, which is not suitable for forcing them to learn subjects that need to be performed in front of people, such as speeches and performances. On the contrary, quiet projects such as painting, calligraphy and reading can arouse their love and give full play to their specialties.

Every child is unique, just like flowers and plants. Different breeds and habits need different nursing methods. Children's different temperament and personality also determine their different training methods. We can't generalize and follow the unified parenting standards, but we need more patience to understand, tolerate and cultivate, and cultivate with our heart, in order to bloom a beautiful flower of life.

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