How to praise each other's future?

A bright future is what everyone yearns for. As soon as the baby is born, it carries the ardent hopes of parents; From the moment I entered the school, I began to aspire to be a talent. When I grow up, I want to be a scientist, a doctor and a policeman ... When I grow up and step into the society, everyone will make a realistic design for my future. The future is a distant and concrete thing. We can't be sure what it looks like, but we will find some marks in reality. Everyone is very concerned about others' predictions and evaluations of their future. It is precisely because of this that ancient fortune tellers came into being. In modern society, although we have replaced superstition with science, praising the future and future of others is still a great skill to win others. Mao Zedong's sentence "You are the sun at eight or nine o'clock in the morning, and our hopes are pinned on you" inspired a generation of young people. Praise your child's promise in front of parents, and the whole family will be full of joy and even take your words seriously. Praising a person's future will inspire him greatly. Full of confidence, however, some compliments will make people feel full of empty talk, irrelevant and boring for a long time. Among them, you need to master certain skills:

Praise others according to their goals.

To praise the future of others, we must first understand their aspirations. Otherwise, you will be aimless or even in the opposite direction. A child worships the police very much and wants to be a mighty policeman when he grows up. If you praise him for his intelligence and high musical talent at this time, he will become a musician in the future, and he will be unhappy. The same is true for a leader. There is no doubt that promoting to a higher position has always been his goal. You praised him for standing in the wind and being exquisite in all directions. He has great prospects, climbing high and looking far, and being elated. A businessman, if you praise him for being smart and good at management, he will be rich in money, prosperous in business and full of joy.

Grasp the starting point of being praised.

The starting point is the beginning of a person's future. The starting point is different, and everyone's future limits will be different. Generally speaking, people with a high starting point have a relatively broad future, while those with a low starting point have a relatively small future. If you ignore a person's starting point when praising others' future, it is difficult to grasp the degree of praise. If you boast that a peddler has a bright future, he will become a millionaire in the future, and others will dare not accept it, and even think you are an idiot. If you praise a man who is still struggling for the position of section chief in his early forties, he may become president in the future, won't you kill the "villain"? Rather, he will get the place class position soon.

People with a low starting point can boast that their future is slightly higher than the starting point, while people with a high starting point can directly boast their starting point. For example: "The young man is so young and a graduate student of Peking University. He has a good foundation, a high starting point and a promising future! " Such praise is flesh and blood, vivid and won't make people feel empty and ethereal.

Don't be too specific

The future is a person's future situation, and it is difficult to predict what it will be. Some people like to praise others' future in detail to show their insight or increase the persuasiveness of praise, but it is often counterproductive. If a child likes both music and painting, will you praise him for becoming a musician in the future? Maybe he will be nothing in the future.

People who are good at praising others say nothing, but are appropriately abstract and vague, which makes people feel more practical and feasible, and even the person who is praised can get the message. After Feng Zikai was admitted to Zhejiang First Normal University, Li Shutong taught him to draw. When teaching charcoal model sketch, Li Shutong first showed you. After painting, he posted the picture on the blackboard. Most of the students copied according to the template on the blackboard. Only Feng Zikai and a few students follow Li Shutong's practice and sketch directly with plaster. Li Shutong noticed Feng Zikai's insight. On one occasion, Li Shutong said to Feng Zikai in a friendly tone, "Your painting has made rapid progress. I have taught in Nanjing and Hangzhou, and I have never seen a student who has made such rapid progress as you. After you, you can ... "Li Shutong didn't go on, then observe Feng Zikai's reaction. At this time, Feng Zikai not only rejoiced at the teacher's praise, but also realized that what the teacher didn't say contained ardent hopes for his future. So Feng Zikai said, "Thank you! Thank you sir! I will not live up to my husband's expectations! " That night, Li Shutong's praise for Feng Zikai inspired him to embark on an artistic career. Feng Zikai later said: "A few words from Mr. Li that night confirmed my life ... This night was an important moment in my life, because from that night on, I made up my mind to learn painting and dedicate my life to art ... It hasn't changed for decades."

Li Shutong's praise of Feng Zikai is quite to the point. At first, he praised its progress, but he did not talk about its future in detail. But lip service, indecision, as if it were a topic of discussion. In fact, through what he said before, people have guessed his intention. Of course, this also requires students to have a high degree of understanding to cooperate. Just a few words have actually affected a person's life, and its beauty is worth savoring.

Appropriate additional point condition

A person's future is inseparable from subjective and objective conditions such as his efforts and external environment. Therefore, when praising others' future, you should attach some conditions appropriately, so that your praise makes people feel concrete and far-sighted. For example, "if you have someone above you, you can get ahead in the unit." "The child is very clever. If he is sent to a good school, he will definitely make a difference. "

..... If you don't attach some conditions properly, in case the other party is like Fang Zhongyong in the Song Dynasty, after a few years, wouldn't he hit himself in the mouth?

We are all ordinary people, neither well-informed fortune tellers nor unpredictable prophets. But in social interaction, we always need to tell one or two things about the future of others. What shall we do? Please remember the effective methods we discussed together. Perhaps, you will really be regarded as a "prophet" by future generations.