How to satirize people without swearing

The irony without swearing is as follows:

Baidu can't find you, try sogou;

May you be fed when you eat and pushed when you walk;

Your three views are right, but your five senses are not;

See your logic?

Do you have a key? Do you deserve it? How much do you have?

What brand of plastic bag are you, easy to take;

Your mother gave you this face just to prevent puppy love;

Every Qingming rain, chrysanthemums send you;

Really creative, really brave to live;

I am a fortune teller. Excuse me, who are you?

You really wasted your parents' time all night;

Actually, you don't hate it, but it's useless;

If you are sick, don't come to me, I'm not a vet;

Please take your belongings and take care of your family.

You are a braised chicken, yellow, stuffy and rubbish;

You are a crayfish, small, deaf and blind;

You are a pickled fish, sour and redundant;

You are just a dish of shredded potatoes, which is both rustic and funny.

You are a lump of pork belly, dirty, flowers and meat;

Brother-in-law, why did you lay eggs?