Self-awareness after marriage: "I am not suitable for being a mother or getting married." 」

"Yes, my personality is too unsuitable for marriage, too reserved. After five years of marriage, I still feel this way, but it doesn't matter. I didn't force myself to be a "suitable person for marriage" to be a perfect wife and loving mother. I just realized my true nature, let myself go and live more easily. Don't disturb the other half, don't make trouble, and my husband won't expect too much from me, so that everyone is comfortable.

When I was almost thirty years old, I watched my friends get married one by one, and it happened that I broke up at that time. I started to get a little anxious and couldn't get up at work. I am neither the youngest girl nor the supervisor in the company. I began to promote my sister, who was called "Sister Little Sheep" on the left and "Sister Little Sheep" on the right by my new colleagues who were two or three years older than me. Oh, really.

Say I'm not fit to get married, and I'll show you!

It is completely correct to say that I got married for the sake of getting married, but I dare not say it, and I don't know how to get married successfully. Life is painful because you don't want to admit your predicament, but you can't find the best solution, pretend that you are doing well, deceive yourself with the idea that "maybe one person is fine", but secretly wait for an opportunity to marry a decent man, which scares everyone.

There is a single female senior in the company who usually takes care of me. At that time, I was lovelorn and said that I would get married. She said, "lamb, you're not married at all." I'm a little angry at this. My first reaction was, "You've never been married. Why do you say that? It's like counting peach blossoms with anticipation. The fortune teller said bluntly that I was destined to die alone all my life, like being poured with cold water. I secretly made a puzzling decision "good! You have to find someone to marry to prove others wrong. "

Consciousness after marriage: "I am not a mother's material, let alone get married!" " 」

Seven years later, I got married and had children, and I lost contact with my female predecessors long ago. The object of marriage is not exactly what I wanted in those years. I want to find a decent person to show off. In fact, when I met the other half, I really didn't think so much. Love is love. I registered marriage with the passion of snoring, followed by pregnancy and childbirth. Therefore, the test of marriage begins every day after the birth of the child and after returning home from the confinement center. Regret, chagrin, despair, depression, sadness and anger torment the body and mind day and night.

"I'm really not suitable for marriage. I am not cut out to be a mother, let alone get married! " I often have this kind of consciousness in my heart, and I can't help but think of the iron mouths of female predecessors, but so what? The children are born, should we leave with them? Or leave the baby alone? Both roads are difficult to walk, and neither seems to be the best choice. I think ... then adjust the practice and mentality and work hard, and the children will grow up after the days. As an Taiwan Province proverb says, "stepping on the wrong foot is a step", which means that even if you try to make a mistake, you are at least making progress.

Not for study, not for work, but for growth.

In fact, think about it, I am not the material for reading, and I am not suitable for school; Not for work, and the office doesn't deserve me, but ... didn't you do it all? They have all grown up. Although they lost something, they also realized something. Life experiences have been portrayed more profoundly and extensively, and people have become more mature and stable.

Recognizing your "physique" that is not suitable for marriage will make it easier for you to let go of yourself and live a relaxed life.

"Yes, my personality is too unsuitable for marriage, too reserved. After five years of marriage, I still have such feelings, but it doesn't matter. I didn't force myself to be a "suitable person for marriage", a perfect wife and a loving mother. I just know my true nature. I don't force myself to show a good image in many chores, in the interpersonal treatment of my husband's family and in the parents of my children's peers. I just love my children as much as I can, and I'm too lazy to cook badly.

Some people are really suitable for marriage. They don't care, they are gentle, they are afraid of being alone, they are willing to pay, they don't ask for anything in return, they like children and they are good at cooking. These original personalities are also more comfortable advantages in marriage, but I don't have them, and I can't do them well. If I know my own nature, I will indulge myself and face marriage in my own comfortable way, without causing trouble or finding fault with the other half, sir.

It's not wedding material, what's the harm!

* This article is published with the authorization of Beibei Lamb, and it is forbidden to reprint without permission.

"This article is the author's view on cooperative innovation, not his position."