How can parents of new senior three avoid doing bad things with good intentions?

The following points must be noted: 1. Parents should not expect too much.

Case: Mr. You is a loving father and attaches great importance to his daughter's college entrance examination. Seeing that the college entrance examination is just around the corner, every time he sees his daughter, he seriously does some ideological work for her. Among them,? Incentive? This is his usual method. Therefore, my daughter often listens to her father. Look at your cousin. I study late into the night every day during the college entrance examination and never sleep before 12 in the evening. Now he is on the campus of Peking University. Look at your cousin again. She did those papers ten times before the college entrance examination, and was admitted to a national key university as she wished.

What is the effect of such encouragement? Mr. You's daughter spoke her mind in the psychological counseling room:? My father is a good man. He never criticizes me directly, but he always talks about my aunt's children. My cousin and cousin went to famous universities. I know, he wants to inspire me to study hard and get into a good university. But as soon as I heard him say my cousin, I felt a lot of pressure and at the same time I felt very uncomfortable. My cousins are very nice, but I am me and they are them. Why do you always take them as examples to press me?

Analysis: At work, I know that many parents have high expectations for their children. Parents' expectations are too high, which is beyond the scope of children's ability and will cause great ideological burden to children. Under the heavy burden, children are swayed by considerations of gain and loss, but it is not easy to play their normal level in the examination room. As a result, they failed in the exam, which backfired. It cannot be said that parents' high expectations are an important reason for their children's failure in the exam. In the face of the college entrance examination, parents' ardent hope for their children should not be manifested in naked hope that their children will be admitted to key universities, nor should they show their envy of famous universities in front of their children. Children's grades were originally between one and two books, and parents kept adding more to their children: if you work hard, you will definitely be admitted to a famous university. Some parents forced their children to go to Tsinghua Peking University, and as a result, their children were under so much pressure that they didn't even get into two books.

If the expectation is too high, it will easily lead to low evaluation. Some parents think that if their children can't get into a good university, they are completely disappointed with their children and throw cold water on them. In fact, this is also a disguised expression of high expectations.

Tips: Parents must face the fact that there is only one sun in the sky and only one Everest on the ground. Although the stars are not as dazzling as the sun, they are equally radiant; Although these mountains are not as high as Mount Everest, they are also tall and straight. More importantly, when we treat children with a normal heart, we will find that there are many bright spots in children, which will give them more positive comments and inject more confidence.

The importance of college entrance examination is self-evident. Facing the college entrance examination, children are undoubtedly very nervous. At this time, parents' attitude towards their children is particularly important. In fact, in the sprint stage of the college entrance examination, children's mastery of knowledge is basically a foregone conclusion, and there can be no qualitative leap in a short time. At this time, parents may wish to lower their expectations of their children, make them less stressed, and go into battle lightly, which will help them get good grades in the examination room.

Parents should not care too much.

Case: One month before the college entrance examination, Ms. Liu asked for leave from the unit to serve her son who is about to take the exam all day. In this month, she stayed up studying like a child every day. Sometimes, the child can't sleep, saying that he wants to take a nap and ask her to wake him up for reading an hour later. The child fell asleep, but Ms. Liu didn't dare to sleep, for fear of oversleeping and missing the child's big event. Sometimes when she sees the child lying on the table tired, she wants to tell him to straighten up and continue his studies, but she feels that the child is hard. But when I think about it, time is so tight now that others don't know how much he learned during his rest. For a time, he was in a dilemma. She feels that she has been more nervous than her children since they entered the third year of high school. I can't sleep well at night, but I wake up early in the morning, and my mind is full of children's college entrance examination.

Ms. Liu is so worried that she will naturally go to her son's room. Who knows, this has aroused strong resentment among children. The child said:? Mom, you are a spy! ? Ms. Liu is very wronged. I serve you wholeheartedly. How did I become a spy?

Analysis: Before every college entrance examination, many parents come to consult me. Usually, the children here are not so good, and the parents there are so anxious that some even go to the temple to ask for fortune telling.

Why is this happening? Because I take the exam too seriously. It is natural for children to be nervous when reviewing before the exam. In this case, all kinds of nervousness caused by parents paying too much attention to their children's college entrance examination will inevitably spread to their children, making them more nervous, but it is easy to fail in the exam. In addition, some parents' uncharacteristic relaxation before the exam will also make their children more nervous and stressed.

Tips: One principle that parents need to adhere to is that if they really love their children, they should not take their exams too seriously. For children's college entrance examination, they can neither be too nervous nor pretend to be relaxed. They should create a normal learning environment and family atmosphere for their children. It is best to joke at work. Parents' mentality will infect their children, do their best, resign themselves to fate and face the college entrance examination calmly. The calmer the child is in the examination room, the greater the chance of winning.

Parents should not be too strict.

Case: A girl said: When I was a senior in high school, going home was like going to jail. I completely lost my freedom. All activities are forbidden except study. I surf the Internet, watch TV, read extra-curricular books and associate with the opposite sex? Don't even think about it. The college entrance examination is coming. My parents are stricter with me. As soon as I entered the house every day, before I could put down my schoolbag, my mother spoke: finish the simulation problem on the table first. I just got it. We'll eat after eating. ? While eating, I want to tell my parents some interesting things at school. At first, I was interrupted by my father. What's the use of those Learning well is the last word. It's not long before the college entrance examination, so we should seize all the time to study! ?

Now, I am depressed every day. Although I want to spend all my time studying, I can't concentrate at all. I often sit at my desk and read in a daze.

Analysis: In the face of the college entrance examination, some parents really care too much about their children and interfere too much: they are busy asking for tutors, blindly buying materials for their children, and even helping them make review plans. Anyway, they have to interfere in everything and ask everything. Study when you come home from school. Ask about grades and rankings in every exam. If your grades drop, be sure to ask why. As soon as a classmate makes a phone call, he is completely questioned like a household registration. If a classmate of the opposite sex calls, he will be more nervous.

Too strict control will make it difficult for children to have a calm mind when studying at home. Home has become a continuation of the intense study life at school. Children feel that they have no freedom and can't arrange their own time. At the same time, it also fetters their initiative and enthusiasm in learning, and even makes them have rebellious psychology and oppose their parents.

Tips: Parents should give themselves a clear role orientation. The child is the protagonist of the exam, and you can only be a supporting role. Believe your child, how to learn from him when facing the big exam. Even if there were, my parents' college entrance examination that year was just an old imperial calendar. At present, it is more realistic to return the initiative of learning to children and not to control or interfere with them too much before the exam. As for things like reviewing materials, teachers have their own arrangements, so parents don't have to worry about them.

Parents should not nag too much.

Case: A girl showed me a letter her mother wrote to her before the exam. The topic is: "Before the exam, mom's nagging?" The third letter to my daughter. You see, mother not only knows that she is nagging, but also keeps nagging.

The letter begins: Dear child, you will go to war in a few days. As the saying goes: sharpen your guns at the last minute and break up in discord. ? Mom wants to nag you when you review, so don't bother.

Next, what tricks or heartfelt words did mom nag? In fact, there is nothing new, just a cliche: you should look at the questions carefully, do them carefully and check them carefully during the exam. Does this nagging make you laugh? But the girl couldn't laugh. She said that mom's nagging all day was boring! Sometimes when I see my mother coming, I want to tie her up and put a towel in my mouth. In this way, mom can't nag.

Analysis: Parents' nagging is generally divided into two kinds: one kind of nagging reflects parents' comparison psychology. For example, XXX's grades are similar to yours, so you can't lose to him. Nagging reflects parents' anxiety. For example, the mother above, afraid of children making mistakes, has been talking.

No matter what kind of nagging, the result is to increase children's psychological pressure, make children feel untrusted, even have disgust and disgust for their parents, and some will lose their temper.

Tips: Parents should practice one kind of kung fu: just keep your mouth shut. Even if you want to express your concern, you should look at the opportunity. Some necessary instructions, the best? Say nothing? After saying it again, don't repeat it again.

When getting along with children before the exam, parents may wish to turn nagging into listening and take time to take their children for a walk and chat. Listening to children talk about difficulties or pressures, children don't necessarily want you to help them solve anything, but may just vent their emotions. What parents should do is to contribute their ears and be a good listener. If you want to say something, you might as well tell the children a joke and relax with each other.

5. Parents should not care too much.

Case: Ms. Zhang's daughter is about to take the college entrance examination. There is nothing wrong with the child. She should eat and sleep. As a teacher, Zhang Can can't sit still. One month before the college entrance examination, she began to worry about arranging college entrance examination meals for her daughter. In order to increase my daughter's nutrition, I bought several supplements besides a lot of meat, eggs, milk, vegetables and fruits. That's not enough. A few days before the exam, I actually gave my daughter amino acids at home, saying that this would be enough. Replenish energy? .

Ms. Zhang didn't know where she got the news, saying that she should adjust her child's sleep before the exam. She made a plan for her daughter to adjust her sleep: she must sleep at night, get up in the morning and take a lunch break at noon. Finally, Ms. Zhang asked me: Do you think such a schedule is good for children's brains? Familiar with it, I smiled and said: If you are not afraid to mess up the child's brain, do it. ?

Analysis: Parents are naturally worried that their children will have a big exam, eat and sleep. But excessive care and protection will make the atmosphere at home tense. A tense family atmosphere will aggravate children's anxiety and help them.

Go to sleep first. Some parents are afraid that their children can't sleep well before the exam, so they let their children go to bed very early and deliberately set sleep time for their children. Children, who don't want to sleep, lie in bed and force themselves to sleep, but they can't sleep again and again. Adjusting the child's sleep like Ms. Zhang will only make the candidates feel uncomfortable. In addition, eat all kinds of nutrients. So far, I haven't heard any nutritionist say that eating nutritional products can improve exam results. However, some candidates are embarrassed to say: My parents bought me a lot of supplements. If I don't do well in the exam, I am sorry for them. ?

Tips: How can parents take care of their children's pre-test life to be scientific?

About sleeping. Parents should guide their children to sleep when they are sleepy, go to school when they are not sleepy, sleep when they lie in bed, turn over books and don't read novels when they can't sleep. In this way, it is easy to fall asleep. It doesn't matter if you really can't sleep well before the exam. If the child does not have a good rest before the exam, parents should also encourage him to stand up and walk confidently into the examination room.

About eating. My suggestion is: just a little higher than the standard of daily life. When children review in meditation, parents should not give out supplements for a while and fruits for a while. These practices will only disturb children.

Children are about to take a big exam, and the best gift parents can give their children is an ordinary living atmosphere and an ordinary on-the-spot mentality. In this way, children will walk into the examination room calmly, play their due level and achieve ideal results.