A fortune-telling sketch for soldiers and fools

A: Lao Zhang, Lao Zhang. Why are you ignoring me? B: Don't get old. Am I old? A: I thought something had happened. Is this the reason? Oh, if your surname is Zhang, your name is Lao Zhang. Where is Wang? A: Lao Wang B: What about horses? A: B: What about Yan? A: My Lord! Fuck you, take advantage of me. I don't think you are good at facing the audience. No, I mean, you're always so old and vulgar. What's that called? B: We are so friendly. Let's call it a nickname. A: Nicknames? What's your nickname? B: a word, easy to remember, a nickname of a word! A: What? B: My name is ... My nickname is not very nice. I'm afraid you will laugh. A: Nothing, no kidding. No kidding? A: No kidding. B: My name is ... and I was afraid of your joke. A: I told you. No kidding, go ahead. B: Then I really said A: Go ahead. B: Wrist armor: What? Wrist? B: Yes, it's called wrist strength. A: Wrist or ankle? B: What wrist and ankle are called wrist armor: wrist? B: Yes. That's it. A: I'm talking about the wrist. Why are you so embarrassed? B: What's the matter? What are you doing here? B: It's mainly to sing for everyone and get an award by the way. You are a big shot, aren't you? Let me ask you something. What song do you know? B: This is a terrible question. What do you mean what song you can play? English, German, Spanish, Costa Rican, too many, all tired: I said, this train is not pushed, Mount Tai is not piled, and cowhide can't be blown casually! B: Still don't believe it? How about I sing a song here? A: OK B: Next, I'll sing a Costa Rican folk song for you. Before singing, I will ask if anyone here knows Costa Rica. No. B: It would be much easier without it. A: Stop. What's easier? Trying to fool us? B: No, I actually mean, everyone doesn't understand, and everyone can't judge whether I sing well or not. A: That's true, so if you sing Mandarin, everyone can understand and evaluate it. Ok, what to sing in Mandarin? Have you ever heard of Super Girl? Yes, I do. A: What's the matter? B: Not bad! Answer: To tell the truth, I am still a corn! Oh, wait a minute. What are you? A: Corn! B: Corn? A: Yes. You are corn, so if I stand with corn, I will become a radish. A: It's a mess, otherwise it's terrible to have no culture. Corn is a fan of Chris Lee, a fan, do you understand? Fans! ! B: bored to death? Oh, now that you mention it, don't I get it? I'm bored to death! ! A: How about that? Have you heard her songs? Whose song have I never heard? Can you sing? Whose song can't I sing? A: Just sing her! B: just sing her? All right. Next, I, wrist, will sing Chris Lee's famous song "Mice Love Corn": I miss you ... stop, stop, son, suddenly, rice has become corn? Stop making a fool of yourself here and go down! ! No, listen to me, corn. A: Huh? Oh, no, it's annoying. A: Huh? No, Wang Tao, I'm joking with you. I think songs can adjust my mood, and I can sing when I am happy. A: Yes. B: I can sing when I am unhappy. A: Yes. B: I sing when I am unhappy. A: Why is this old nonsense? B: So, I usually sing (sing) when I want to, and sing loudly when I want to! Oh, you can sing if you want? What are you singing? That depends. What are you happy to sing? That depends on why you are happy. A: Are they all divided? B: That's right. You can sing, for example, if you find money and are happy. What are you singing? I found a penny by the roadside and put it in ... A: Come on, come on, so happy to find a penny? B: I'm just giving an example! A: Then I'll watch you sing here today. No problem, go! What do you sing in the morning? The sun is shining, the flowers are smiling at me, and the children get up early ... A: Stop, the whole song is nursery rhymes? What to sing for lunch? I'm a wolf from the north ... boy, here comes the wolf. What to sing at night? B: Every night comes, loneliness always surrounds me. Whenever I wander around at night for too long ... A: You owe me money, and I'm here to ask for it. What are you singing? B: That's all right. I don't care. Forgive all the mistakes in this world ... A: You don't care. My money is missing. Your girlfriend broke up with you. Do you still sing? B: I broke up with my girlfriend? A: Yes! I don't have a girlfriend. A: I said, for example. B: Like what? Oh, for example. But I don't care. Why should I divide it? A: I said, for example. B: Like what? A: For example, I broke up. B: That night, she said it was best to break up, and I begged her not to leave. She broke free, and I took her hand and said that we would still be friends in the future. Sob, it's so sad ... A: Don't cry, you're talking about sad things, let's say something happy! Yes, you should say something happy. You are defeated. Can you sing? B: Are you happy? Not as good as just now! You can sing as long as you can speak. It is not a crime for a man to cry ... A: Noise! ! Can you sing a song for the girls present? B: girl's mind, boy, don't guess, you can't guess ... sing a song for the boys here! B: Don't guess what boys and girls are thinking. You can't guess. Where can I find this song? This will not work. Face the waves proudly ... sing a song for your father! B: I can't forget sitting on my father's shoulder when I was a child. My father is a ladder to heaven, and my father is a cow pulling a cart ... sing a song for your mother! Oh, mom, mom by candlelight ... sing a song for your grandpa! I put on big leather shoes and thought of my grandfather ... sing a song for your grandmother! ! Sing a song for your seven uncles, eight aunts, nine aunts and ten aunts! Have you finished your meal? Are you tired? Can't you sing? B: Then one by one. A: Let's not talk about the front. Sing for yourself! ! B: For yourself? Ok, friends, I usually love writing lyrics and composing music. Next, I will sing a song to express my heart and personality for you. I hope you will like it. A good man will never hurt his beloved woman a little, nor will he wander in tenderness like a gust of wind. ! Great, can you sing a song for me? For you? A: That's right. B: Then I'll make a song specially for you, a tailor-made song that can express your inner and outer feelings. A: Great, sing! Did I sing? A: Sing! Pig, your nose ... A: Stop it, fuck you. You searched online, right?