Horrible and funny jokes

1, Uncle is a famous bold man in the village. He passed by the cemetery overnight and greeted a woman in the same village. The woman said that she couldn't walk, and the uncle kindly carried it. However, her back became heavier and heavier and she walked to the village entrance in the middle of the night. The old man who picked up dung got up early and asked the uncle why she came back with the coffin early in the morning. Uncle said that she cheated on her fellow villager jane doe yesterday, and the old man was eclipsed. No way, that girl has been dead for two years!

He went to her house to be a guest, and it rained heavily in the middle, and both of them were soaked. When he got home, he said he wanted to take a bath. When he found that there was no shower gel, he asked her for it. She handed me a bottle and said, "Our whole family uses this, and it works very well." He took the bottle with a smile and suddenly turned pale because he smelled formalin.

There is a girl who always dreams of a man with a mole on his chin. She always said, "Come to me. Finally, they agreed to meet in a park in 12. When the time came, the girl felt a little hot and went across to buy water. Suddenly, she was hit by a car. Passers-by were going to take her to the accident car and take her to the hospital, only to find that it was a hearse with a man with a mole on his chin and his mouth raised.

4. The old couple sat in front of the TV and stared at the screen: the news arrived and the news was over; The advertisement has arrived and the advertisement is over; The weather forecast has arrived, and the weather forecast is over; The advertisement arrived and ended ... until late at night, the picture turned into snowflakes, and the old couple still sat in front of the TV and stared at the screen. For a long time, the old man spoke with a straight face: "Why didn't we get the news that we were killed?"

On Valentine's Day, he sneaked into his girlfriend's house to surprise her. After turning off the lights, he put tomato juice on his face and spread a white sheet to scare his girlfriend. He ran to the kitchen to see what he looked like after makeup. The look in the kitchen mirror was so horrible that he was shocked. He thought his girlfriend couldn't stand it, so he took off his makeup. He told his girlfriend about it when she came back. His girlfriend said in horror, "There is no mirror in the kitchen.

6, avalanche, she was crushed under the snow, she called her husband in the dark. Not far away came her husband's voice: "Don't be afraid, baby, I'm here! If you can move, dig it for me. My snow is very thin. " She promised to dig hard in the direction of sound! Her husband's voice has been encouraging her not far away. Rescuers pulled her out of the snowdrift two hours later, but what she saw was the body of her long-dead husband!

7. She was watching a horror movie when suddenly there were three knocks at the door next door. She was startled. He likes to scare her. He tried to play the ghost on the phone, and she knocked on the wall angrily to get back at him. There was a response. She thought he was naive and ignored him anymore. After half an hour, the knocking on the wall disappeared. The next day, the police came in and out next door, and he died at the hands of robbers who entered the house. She finally understood that significance of knock on the wall. That night, she cried alone, and suddenly there were three more knocks on the wall next door.

He bought a mahogany bed last month. Strangely, as soon as he arrived at 12, he felt that there was another person beside him. He bought a bag of flour and scattered it in the room. 12, he saw female footprints on the ground until the edge of the bed disappeared! He was so scared that he ran to the furniture store. I peeked at the shop. I was making furniture, and there were some new mahogany coffins with mud on them. He turned and ran in fear, and suddenly a gloomy female voice reached his ear. "Come back, sleep alone, it's so cold!

9. In class, none of the rebellious students is absent today. It seems that the usual scolding is effective. Suddenly the phone rang. "Turn off the phone in class. Don't you understand this rule? " The students stared at me. When I woke up, it turned out to be your work phone number, but it was the principal's. Turn around and answer the phone: "Hello?" "Students in your class play truant and charter. I had an accident and lost my life ... "I hung up the phone trembling, and suddenly I felt that my classmates were slowly coming around behind me!

10, there is a taxi driver working in a taxi company. One night, he was driving through a very desolate place, surrounded by darkness; Suddenly I saw a building on the wasteland ahead, with dim lights on.