What are the etiquette in Enshi Tujia and Miao Autonomous Prefecture?

There was a saying of "Six Rites" in ancient China, and it is also practiced in some areas today. Six gifts are accepting gifts, asking names, accepting gifts, accepting gifts, inviting parties and welcoming guests. In fact, the wedding customs agreed by people in various regions are not completely limited to these six ceremonies, but will go through the stage of blind date engagement.

Modern wedding custom

Simplify the process, such as putting the invitation date (agreed wedding date) in Najib (gift engagement). But more attention is paid to the ritual process of tying the knot (the bride and groom drink a glass of wine), making trouble in the bridal chamber and "returning to the door" after marriage.

In ancient times, the basic steps for men to post posts were as follows: after a man obtained a woman's birthday through a matchmaker, he put it in a place with divination significance at home, such as under an incense burner or in front of an idol, for three days. If everyone in the family is safe in these three days, it means that this marriage has been approved by God and the divination is successful. If there is an accident in these three days, even if the ruined bowl is broken, the birthday will be returned to the woman and the marriage will not succeed. In some places, after getting the woman's constellation, please ask the fortune teller to compare it. If the horoscopes of the man and the woman match, the marriage is concluded. Modern people often use the second one, especially when parents are dating their children. Wait until the eight characters have passed before the man posts. Write the names and birthdays of both men and women side by side on red paper and send them to the woman's home. When the woman accepted the position, she agreed to the marriage. The purpose of posting with eight characters is to "ask God's will" and show the concept of "marriage is predestined".

At the wedding stage, the dowry prepared by the woman is mostly pairs of bedding, clothes, cabinets and so on. On the wedding day and the morning before the wedding, the bride and groom should "climb to the top" in their respective homes, that is, choose lucky old people to comb their hair and say some auspicious words at the same time.

The bride also needs to open her face, that is, trim her eyebrows. In Hui 'an area, the old man who combs his hair will hold a boy's hand and comb the groom's head three times with a comb and a lice grate, saying, "Use a wooden comb three times and a lice grate three times, and a large group of children and grandchildren will be born."

The toilet in the new house will drown a boy on the wedding day. Sprinkle longan and lotus seeds on the new bed. Auspicious fruits such as peanuts and dates.

When the groom leads the sedan chair to the south gate, it is customary in some places to let her mother-in-law pull her daughter-in-law across the road paved with sacks in the yard, and the sacks behind her are constantly spread to the front for trampling. It's called seed transmission. (to be). Some people have to cross the brazier to avoid evil spirits.

When couples worship the church, the host family recites greetings loudly, and in some places they eat children's cakes and soup.

Ancient women were often "born in a boudoir, and no one knows whether they are beautiful or not." After the blind date, the man often asks to have a look. This activity is called "meeting relatives", and the man goes to the woman's house for the first time under the matchmaker's non-staple food. It was dubbed "blind date".

The date of the blind date is set by the matchmaker in advance and notified to both men and women, so both sides should be prepared. The man should prepare a little gift according to the hobby of the woman's parents; Women should clean the courtyard and get ready for guests. As parties, both men and women should try to dress elegantly and resplendent, so as to leave a good "first impression" on each other.

Seeing relatives is the key to the success of marriage, especially the man, so be careful. Although gifts are nothing more than alcohol, tobacco and snacks, regardless of the quantity and value, you must give them what you like and not violate the taboos of the other parents; Dressing should be generous and fashionable; Be modest and polite in your words and deeds. In ancient times, when men met relatives, they could only rely on matchmakers to create opportunities to secretly see girls. It's different now. Both men and women can talk directly. Both sides have the opportunity to have a preliminary understanding of each other.

China is a "state of propriety and righteousness", and it pays attention to implication. The results of visiting relatives are often not directly expressed, but expressed through various hints. In many places, after the man enters the door, the woman's parents first pour the young man a cup of hot tea. Seeing that the girl was amused, the young man drank this cup of tea in one gulp. Then the girl's parents discuss with the girl. If they agree to get married, they will leave the man for dinner with the matchmaker. If they don't agree, they will let the man leave and go home. Some parents even asked the matchmaker to take away the gifts brought by the man.

In some areas, besides visiting relatives, there is also the custom of "observing others". In fact, "visiting others" is also to visit relatives. The man was led by the matchmaker to the woman's home where he had seen the girl, and the woman's parents temporarily refused to express their views on the marriage, and then the matchmaker took him back to the man's home. Qiyang area is called "Kandang". Look at that time, the man's parents should offer a cup of fragrant tea first, and then talk to the woman's parents. The wife's parents visited the man's house and talked with the man's parents. If they agree to the marriage, they will drink all the fragrant tea. The man's parents immediately regarded him as "in-laws" and warmly entertained the guests. Otherwise, the woman's parents should get up and leave, and the man should not stay.

Genius articles

After "seeing one's relatives" and "seeing one's death", it is necessary to perform the engagement formalities, commonly known as "gift".

The first step of "Li Guo" is that the matchmaker sends the man's birthday to the woman, and the woman's eighth birthday to the man. Some superstitious parents think that they are responsible for their children's marriage, and often ask the fortune teller to calculate after receiving the red post to see if the "date of birth" of both parties is consistent, if not; Marriage will be reconsidered. Fortunately, most modern people don't believe this, so even if red posts are exchanged, they are often just a form, and some even avoid the form of changing posts.

After "changing posts" and "matching eight characters", the matchmaker should choose a good date and get engaged with the man as a gift. Giving gifts is a big deal. Generally, the active person (male or female) who gets married should give each other a heavy gift. The gift should at least include a pig elbow, a pair of wine, a chicken and a duck, and a suit for other parents. A pair of shoes and socks, a package, and some things for girls. How much money to seal in the envelope (locally called "pocket money") and what engagement gift to give the girl are generally negotiated by the matchmaker in advance, not as much as the man (or woman) can give. Of course, the parents of the man or woman should also try their best to think of each other, strive to be frugal and accept less dowry.

After the ceremony, both men and women can agree on a date to go to the local government for a marriage certificate and formally confirm the marriage relationship. Modern laws and regulations stipulate that both men and women should go to the hospital for premarital examination before getting a marriage certificate; There are also some areas (mainly cities) that require premarital classes. These are all effective measures to ensure prenatal and postnatal care and ensure the quality of the population, which should be followed.

Choose auspicious items

After the marriage certificate is completed, both men and women have legally established a legal relationship between husband and wife. However, in China, this is only the first step in marriage. According to the traditional practice, the parents of the active party should choose an auspicious day to get married, and the matchmaker should inform the other party to get married. It's called "choosing good luck" and "sending the day".

Generally speaking, you can consult an astrologer or fortune teller to choose a suitable date, or you can choose a date by reading an encyclopedia (nicknamed "almanac", commonly known as "family calendar" and traditionally called "imperial calendar"). Those with a high level of education can do their own calculations. It is generally believed that as long as the "Liuhe" corresponds, it is a good day. Such as "Bing Yin Ri".

After the date is selected, the two sides will send out wedding invitations and invite relatives and friends to attend the wedding.

Invitations are usually given by married people or their parents to relatives and friends in person. After receiving the invitation to the wedding banquet, relatives and friends should generally come to congratulate them, except that they can only give gifts under special circumstances and cannot attend. Before you congratulate, you should prepare gifts. The number of gifts depends on the relationship between everyone and the host, the depth of friendship, and my financial conditions.

Gifts for women are mostly in kind, but they can also be replaced by red envelopes, which is called "marriage assistance". Most furniture is boxes, cabinets, beds, quilts, tableware, clothes and so on. Gifts for women are often given by relatives and friends as soon as they hear the news, without waiting for an invitation. Because the woman's parents should decide the scale of "wedding wine" according to the number of gifts given.

Wedding supplies

The wedding is just around the corner. Both men and women should kill pigs and chickens, prepare wedding banquets, and ask handymen such as chefs, bridesmaids, flower convoys, accountants and touts to help with their work. After applying, these people should start working in the main room the day before the wedding to prepare for the wedding reception.

The traditional wedding is usually the "wedding reception" at the woman's house in the morning and the wedding reception at the man's house at noon. If it is a husband (recruiting a husband-a man goes to the woman's house), the opposite is true.

After everything was ready, Yanari, a man, played music and sent a sedan chair to greet the bride. The matchmaker took the lead, followed by the groom, bridesmaids, floats, bands and gift box teams.

The bride's family should prepare the wedding reception before the float arrives. A girl needs her mother or sister to comb her hair, twist off the fluff on her face with silk thread and make up, which is called "opening her face". Then, she will be decorated with a crown and covered with red cloth, waiting for the float to meet her.

As soon as the float arrived, the girl's family greeted it with music and firecrackers. After the fierce relatives entered the women's hall, the groom bowed down to his parents-in-law and presented a red greeting note with his father's name on it. Then there was an interesting party at the woman's house. During the dinner, the matchmaker and groom should be careful, because there are many unwritten customs in China. During the three days of their wedding, peers and teenagers among relatives and friends can creatively make up several small comedies on the matchmaker and groom, called "washing the media" and "hanging red" (commonly known as "welcoming guests" in rural areas). The bride's sister-in-law may ambush half a bowl of Chili noodles for the groom under the rice bowl (Xiao Y, accept your fate! Eat as authentic Sichuan food); The bride's sister will give her brother-in-law a handful of ashes when pouring wine ... The matchmaker and groom should tolerate these little farce that can increase the happy atmosphere-although they might as well "deal with a man as he deals with you" and get a little revenge, but they must never get angry, get angry, or even quarrel or wrestle with the host and guest.

After the breakfast banquet, the bride and groom, led by the matchmaker, salute the ancestral tablets and elders of the bride, and then the bridesmaids can help the bride get on the float. When getting on the bus, the bride might as well cry a few times to show her attachment to her parents and family.

After the bride got on the bus, she played music and set off firecrackers, and opened the sedan chair to make a kiss. When the bride leaves, in order to make the bearers drive steadily, she often gives red envelopes to the drivers (bearers).

When the wedding procession is about to arrive at the groom's door, the man's house will greet it with firecrackers and music. The float stops in front of the groom's house, and the bridesmaids (usually beautiful young women) invited by the man will come forward to open the car door and help the bride get off the bus, and the best man will come forward to pay tribute. Guests will sprinkle flowers (how many ribbons and snow sprays) on the bride and groom to push the wedding to a climax.

Worship in a church

Welcoming the bride is the climax of the wedding.

On the wedding day, after the male family leaves, the best man will arrange a memorial place in the hall of the male family.

The ceremony began when the float stopped in front of the door and the bridesmaid who was asked by the man got off. On the incense table, cigarettes are lingering, red candles have a high fever, and relatives, friends and functional personnel are in their positions.

The two bridesmaids appeared as "Zan" and "Zan" respectively and began to pay tribute.

The bride and groom began to worship the bride according to the praise ceremony.

The procedure of the ceremony is as follows:

Zan: The groom is in place.

Tong Zan: Newcomers start.

Praise: the groom bows (handing over the bride)

Zan: The bride and groom are in place (before the incense table)

Play music and shoot.

Tong Zan: The bride and groom put incense sticks (to the shrine and ancestral tablet).

Zan: kneel down and offer incense. Light candles, burn incense, burn incense, crawl, stand up and stand back.

Tong Zan: Kneel down, kowtow, kowtow again, kowtow three times, and you will be happy.

Then the traditional "three worships"-"one worships heaven and earth, the other worships parents, and the husband and wife worship each other", and finally "introduces the bridal chamber". This is the end of the ceremony.