It is urgent. I want some short jokes. Don't joke.

One day, the mother fly took her little fly to lunch. The little fly couldn't help asking her mother, "Mom, mom, why do we eat shit every day?" Mom gave him a look and said, "Don't talk about such disgusting topics while eating!" " "

Early in the morning, mother snail went out with her baby snail.

The little snail asked his mother inexplicably, "Where are we going?"

Mother snail: "Didn't we agree to take you on a blind date?"

Snail: "Ah, but I'm still young? ! "

Mother snail: "it's almost there!" " "

One day, three dead people were taken to the hospital.

The doctor asked, why did everyone laugh to death?

The nurse replied: The first man was so excited because he won 5 million!

The second man died of joy and sorrow!

The doctor asked again, how did the third person die?

The nurse said that the third man died while picking apples on a rainy night?

The doctor doesn't understand: how can you laugh to death when picking apples?

The nurse replied: Suddenly there was a flash of lightning in the sky! He thinks someone is taking pictures of him.

1. A male deer walked faster and faster, and finally became a road (deer)! ! ! !

2. Two tomatoes cross the road, a car flies by, one of them can't escape and is squashed, and the other tomato points to the squashed tomato and laughs: dig hahaha, ketchup …

The wolf said, "I will eat you!" ! ! "Guess what?

As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

4. The stone fights with the rice cake, and the stone flies and kicks the rice cake into the sea. ..........

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who decided to join the army for life, so they made an oath with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and agreed to meet her three years later today. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Three years later, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she can't. Sad and desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and moved away. However, the boy has been waiting.

Rice cake! ! !

5. Is jiaozi a boy or a girl?

Answer the boy because jiaozi has a foreskin.

6. There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car. He shouted, "Gung!" From then on, he became a cucumber! !

7. The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so I reached out to scratch it and burned myself to death …