The custom of visiting relatives at Dalangmen.

The custom of visiting relatives at Dalangmen.

Generally speaking, it can be divided into three "general procedures"-pre-marriage ceremony, formal wedding ceremony and post-marriage ceremony. There are many specific names under each master plan, from the initial "proposing relatives" to the final "returning to the door". Without a month before and after, the ceremony could not be completely completed. Red tape is the most appropriate word to describe it.

Therefore, some people say that formal weddings in Guangzhou are exclusive to the rich and the idle, and the poor just choose some necessary procedures to carry out one or two.

Prenuptial ceremony: The last important procedure before the wedding is to welcome the bride. The man's family sent representatives to the woman's house to meet the bride; The woman's family received some (but not all) gifts from the man's family, and expressed gratitude in return.

Premarital etiquette

1. Bride gift: Before the wedding, the man will go to the woman's house to give the bride a gift. The custom in Guangzhou is to give chickens (meaning alive), coconuts (meaning blessed by a grandfather and a son) and gift cakes (for the relatives of the woman), as well as gifts to show that the man's family is rich and will let the woman get married and enjoy happiness.

2. Return gifts: The woman's family will also return gifts, including betel nuts (meaning the groom).

3. Make the bed: The night before the wedding, the woman will find a lucky man (happy family, parents alive and a son) to come to the new bed in the new house and put well-meaning food such as peanuts, red dates and walnuts on the bed.

4. Dowry: Before marriage, the bride will put the dowry prepared at home in a red suitcase and take it to her husband's house the next day.

5. Above: The night before their wedding, they will choose an auspicious time to worship God, heaven and earth, pray for blessings, and at the same time inform the man to worship God.

6. Comb her hair: The bride will ask a blessed elder to comb her hair.

7. Eat glutinous rice balls: it means that you can get married and be happy.

Formal wedding: the etiquette on the day when the bride arrives at her husband's house. Both bride and groom worship heaven, earth, ancestors, parents and husband and wife. Subsequently, the bride, accompanied by the groom, presented "holding the heart" (that is, daughter-in-law) tea to her parents, elders and relatives and friends who congratulated her. After drinking tea, tea worshippers should give the couple a "profit market" (that is, a red envelope). The male family then hosted a banquet to entertain relatives and friends. During the banquet, the bride and groom should toast one by one and offer tea before the banquet is over. Before entering the bridal chamber, the bride and groom should drink lotus seed syrup with the goodwill of "having a son together"; Drinking "Lily Tea" means "harmony for a hundred years" and "Qi Mei with white hair"; Eat smooth olives, which means good, smooth and sweet.

Etiquette on wedding day

1. Wedding reception: On the morning of the wedding, the man's reception team will come to the woman's house to receive relatives. Nowadays, picking up the bride is the climax of the whole wedding. The first level is "getting started". If you want to successfully get the beauty back, you must go through a series of intellectual and physical tests, and if necessary, add love songs, but the most important thing is a rich "good start". Sisters will not open the door if they are not satisfied. The groom should bring a bouquet to marry the bride (the bride should not make her own bouquet).

2. Looking for red shoes: The groom will look for red shoes for the bride in the room where the bride is picked up, put on red shoes and take the bride away.

3. Tea worship: The couple will offer tea to their parents and bow (according to the old custom, the couple should not bow before visiting Weng Gu at the man's house, that is, the couple should stand and offer tea to the woman's parents. However, at present, I am not so particular about it. Kneel if you want.

4. Hold a red umbrella and sprinkle rice: The bridesmaid holds a red umbrella to accompany the bride and groom to go out, and will sprinkle rice to the chicken while walking to avoid the chicken pecking at the bride.

5. Bypass Jixiang Road: The car that welcomes the wedding must bypass the road named Jixiang Road in the urban area. Such as auspicious road, Huifu road and other roads in the name of good luck.

6. Going through the door: Going through the door means that the bride officially enters the man's house after going out from the woman's house to meet the elder of the man's house.

7. Wedding: A ceremony was held in the hotel, presided over by the master of ceremonies.

8. Visiting guests: After the banquet begins, when the fish is served, the bride puts on the traditional dragon and phoenix robe to offer tea to the guests.

9. Entering the new house: After the banquet, the couple and some friends will begin to visit or entertain the new house.

Wedding ceremony: The newlyweds return to their mother's house on the third day after marriage, which is called "three dynasties returning to the door". This is the last ceremony of marriage. When I returned home, my husband's family prepared gifts, including roast pig, chicken and gift cake. The newlyweds must return to their husband's house before sunset that day; Moreover, the round trip should follow the original road when welcoming the relatives, and you can't "take two roads in three days."

Wedding etiquette

Huimen: Huimen in the Three Dynasties means that on the third day after marriage, the bride, accompanied by her husband, went back to her mother's house with roast pigs and gifts to pay homage to her ancestors in Dongguan.

Three Books and Six Rites "Three Books and Six Rites" is the basis of China's traditional marriage custom, which was finalized as early as the pre-Qin period. The so-called "three books" are the documents (including appointment letter, betrothal letter and welcoming letter) that should be possessed to implement the "Six Rites", and are the written records to ensure the validity of marriage in ancient times. The so-called "six rites" are the six procedures that must be completed to marry a wife. Every marriage must complete these six steps before it can be officially recognized.

"Three Books" [Letter of Appointment]: When a man and a woman are engaged, the list of books given by the man to the woman is used to confirm the engagement.

[Gift Book]: A letter from the family when the man gives a gift, detailing the items and quantity when giving a gift.

[Welcome Book]: On the wedding day, the man gives the woman a book list.

These three books are notes for men and women to pay tribute to each other in the whole wedding procedure.

[Inviting a date] means [choosing a date]. The man asks the fortune teller to choose an auspicious day and find a good day for marriage, so that the marriage will be smooth and the two will be harmonious. When the auspicious day is chosen, it is to inform the daughter's family to prepare an invitation for her daughter's wedding.

[Moving dowry] After the bride's family receives the bride price, the dowry should be sent to the man's family the day before the wedding at the latest. Dowry is a symbol of a woman's status and wealth. In the past, Cantonese people liked to send dowry with camphor wood to show their durability. Dowry can be divided into "sending makeup" and "welcoming makeup". "Make-up" means that the woman's family sends the dowry to the man's family. In addition to people with makeup, the woman's family will also invite several relatives and friends to take care of it together. The bigger the number, the thicker the woman's house. The dowry is carried to the man's house, and the man will invite relatives and friends to meet. This is called "welcome makeup". In the dowry, besides precious jewelry and gold ornaments, there are many things that symbolize good omen. Use the spittoon as a bucket for children and grandchildren, and hope that your daughter will flourish and your children and grandchildren will be full. Take the red ruler as the future ruler, which means fertile land; Vases represent rich flowers; Copper plates and shoes mean to grow old together; Silver foreskin wrapped around the waist; Scissors refer to butterflies flying in pairs; A pair of dragon and phoenix quilts, sheets and pillows, wishing the couple love and lingering; A piece of candy is a metaphor for sweet happiness; Dragon and phoenix bowls and chopsticks, as food and clothing bowls, indicate ample food and clothing (there is a profitable market in the bowls, which can replace 72 sets of clothes as dowry).

[Bedding] A few days before the wedding, a good-tempered woman will put the new bed in an auspicious place that is beneficial to the couple, then spread a dragon and phoenix quilt and sprinkle red mung beans, lotus seeds, red dates, longan, walnuts and other happy fruits. Newcomers are not allowed to sleep in new beds after they put them in bed, and pregnant women, people with filial piety and women with moonlight clan are not allowed to enter. In addition, after going to bed, let the children jump out of bed and eat happy fruits, which was called "pressing the bed" in ancient times, meaning opening branches and spreading leaves. [Going to the cabinet] The most important ceremonies and etiquette before the wedding are "going to the cabinet" and "going to the top". "Going to court" means that the bride-to-be stays in a corner of the house for a short time before getting married, usually in the boudoir or attic, accompanied by a group of leap sisters and close friends, so as to get rid of the usual living habits temporarily and make psychological preparations so as to adapt to the unfamiliar living environment of her husband's family in the future. The bride won't leave the attic until the wedding day, so for a girl, this is commonly known as "marriage". Modern people also have activities similar to "going to court". The bride invited her sisters and close friends to her daughter's house the night before the wedding to tell each other their worries and prepare for another stage of her life tomorrow. Although there are occasional occasions when sisters are emotional and cry, the overall atmosphere is still full of joy.

Give a gift, give a gift

The most solemn engagement ceremony is 15 to 20 days before the wedding. The man chooses a good day and brings gifts and various gifts to the woman's house. Today, due to the complexity and time-consuming of this traditional wedding etiquette, the full set of "three books and six gifts" ceremony is rarely used, and the most widely concerned is the gift-giving link: the man's family (the giver) and the woman's family (the giver).

Gifts include:

(1) gift cake: two boxes of Longfeng gift cakes. Gift cakes are divided into four types, six types and eight types, all of which are even.

(2) Coconuts: Parents should use two pairs when they are alive, otherwise one pair should be used.

(3) Tea and sesame: Because tea trees can't be transplanted, seeds must be used when planting, so giving tea as a gift is to wish the son who doesn't grow up. There is also a metaphor, once a marriage contract is concluded, a woman must keep her promise and never go back on her word, which is also called sesame oil tea ceremony.

(4) Two pairs of betel nuts.

(5) Three kinds of animals: two pairs of chickens or geese, two females and two males (only one pair is needed if the parents are not alive). Pork flies in pairs, that is, a few kilograms are split in two and the bottoms are connected together. A pair of fish, usually big fish. (Now it is mostly changed to three sacrifices [profit market])

(6) Seafood: usually four kinds of seafood, abalone, sea cucumber, shark's fin, fish belly and scallop can be used as high-grade seafood; More economical can choose squid, dried shrimps, mushrooms and oyster sauce. Prosperity and frugality are made by people.

7) Postbox: Of course, there must be gifts in the gift box, and the rest should be filled with lotus seeds, lilies, red beans, mung beans, peaches, peanuts, dried longan, dried litchi, cypress and pears. There are two pairs of them, which read: "Five generations under one roof, a hundred children and a thousand grandchildren".

(8) Others: tobacco, alcohol and fruit, whatever you like. Two pairs of dragon, phoenix and candle, don't miss it, two pairs of couplets. Stick couplets in front of the door at the latest the night before the wedding. Never change the left and right by mistake. )

When the woman receives the bride price from the man, she should also return the items that belong to the man's blessing.

Awards include

(1) Half or more of the dowry of the man's family, but it must be in pairs.

(2) Tea, sesame and fruit.

(3) A pair of lotus root, taro and pomegranate. (Lotus root had better have branches and buds. )

(4) Greeting towel (double happiness towel).

(5) A suit or cloth for the son-in-law, a belt, a wallet (with built-in benefits), a pair of shoes and two pairs of socks.

Because the size of clothes varies from person to person, in order to avoid deviation, it is suggested to use profit instead. )

(6) a pair of betel nuts.

(7) Big tea ceremony: including money, fried piles, long profits, Dafa muffins, etc.

Tips:

But keep everything simple, replace it with profit, and write "It's good to have a big gift." For example, pork is replaced by "pork gold" and clothing is replaced by "clothing gold". However, some important gifts should be brought in person as far as possible, including: a pair of dragon and phoenix cakes, a number of Tang cakes (about eight), a pair of dragon and phoenix candles, a pair of couplets and a fruit.

The items in the bride price imply auspiciousness, but the quantity must be in pairs, not in singular.

The bride price received by the woman's family is not all received by the man's family, and the items that belong to the man's family need to be returned. Handkerchiefs are not allowed in gifts, because it means breaking up.

Jiehun girl cake

According to the tradition in China, the wedding pie is an indiscreet part, which shows the importance and solemnity of the wedding. When the man gives a big gift cake (wedding cake), the woman will distribute it to relatives and friends to celebrate. The so-called "wedding cake" is the good news that my daughter is going to marry relatives and friends. The number of cakes can be determined according to the generations of relatives and friends, and can also be divided into four types, six types, eight types, and paired in pairs.

At present, there are as many as thirty or forty kinds of Chinese gift cakes, and the most popular ones are:

Multicolored preserved egg crisp egg yolk lotus paste crisp HongLing lotus paste crisp

Yellow silk bean paste, crisp yuan, peach crisp, egg yolk, lotus seed cake.

Chicken oil souffle protein Yezishan

dowry

After receiving the bride price, the woman's family should send the dowry to the man's family the day before the wedding at the latest. Dowry is a symbol of a woman's status and wealth. In the past, Cantonese people liked to send dowry with camphor wood to show their durability. Dowry can be divided into "sending makeup" and "welcoming makeup". "Make-up" means that the woman's family sends the dowry to the man's family. In addition to people with makeup, the woman's family will also invite several relatives and friends to take care of it together. The bigger the number, the thicker the woman's house. The dowry is carried to the man's house, and the man will invite relatives and friends to meet. This is called "welcome makeup". In the dowry, besides precious jewelry and gold ornaments, there are many things that symbolize good omen. Use the spittoon as a bucket for children and grandchildren, and hope that your daughter will flourish and your children and grandchildren will be full. Take the red ruler as the future ruler, which means fertile land; Vases represent rich flowers; Copper plates and shoes mean to grow old together; Silver foreskin wrapped around the waist; Scissors refer to butterflies flying in pairs; A pair of dragon and phoenix quilts, sheets and pillows, wishing the couple love and lingering; A piece of candy is a metaphor for sweet happiness; Dragon and phoenix bowls and chopsticks, as food and clothing bowls, indicate ample food and clothing (there is a profitable market in the bowls, which can replace 72 sets of clothes as dowry).

In recent years, in order to conform to the trend of politeness and simple details, a kind of exquisite micro-dowry has appeared in the market. On the basis of the original work, she designed a festive style with China characteristics, and chose superior camphor wood to celebrate traditional customs, which won the favor of prospective married people.

Anchuang

A few days before the wedding, a good-natured woman will put the new bed in an auspicious place that is beneficial to the couple, then spread a dragon and phoenix quilt and sprinkle red mung beans, lotus seeds, red dates, longan, walnuts and other happy fruits. Newcomers are not allowed to sleep in new beds after they put them in bed, and pregnant women, people with filial piety and women with moonlight clan are not allowed to enter. In addition, after going to bed, let the children jump out of bed and eat happy fruits, which was called "pressing the bed" in ancient times, meaning opening branches and spreading leaves.

In modern weddings, before the wedding, both men and women still have separate ceremonies. The ceremony was held on the night before the wedding or on the right day, symbolizing that a couple formally entered adulthood, and they wanted to form a new family and shoulder the mission of spreading branches and leaves. Choose a good time, the man should take a bath half an hour earlier than the woman, and both men and women should take a shower first, and give the "all blessed" people (commonly known as lucky guy/lucky girl, parents and children are needed, and husband and wife are in harmony) a grapefruit dish (grapefruit leaves are said to clean up filth). Then put on brand-new underwear and pajamas, sit by a window that can see the moon, and be combed by a "lucky guy" or "lucky woman" The bride's hair will be combed into a bun to show that she has entered adulthood after marriage. "Lucky guy" or "lucky woman" should say rhyming auspicious sentences when combing their hair, such as "one comb to the end, two combs of white hair, Qi Mei, three combs of children and grandchildren, and four combs of silver bamboo shoots." It means wishing the couple a happy marriage. Finally, the "lucky guy" or "lucky woman" needs to tie cypress and red rope on the head of the bride or groom to complete the ceremony. Because the gyro is a ceremony for parents to bless their children, it is more important.

A man's head

Take a shower with grapefruit leaves before you go to your head, then put on brand-new underwear and pajamas and start over. Three bowls of glutinous rice balls (nine in each bowl), a mirror, a red rope, a pointed comb, a ruler for children and grandchildren, and a hinge scissors should be prepared before the case. On auspicious days, good people will comb their hair (comb their hair) and sincerely offer sacrifices to heaven. When the head is ready, you can eat glutinous rice balls with your family and brothers and share the joy of marriage.

A woman's head

Take a shower with grapefruit leaves before you go to your head and put on brand-new underwear and pajamas. Then you should choose a window where you can see the moon. After lighting the dragon and phoenix candles, you should use three bowls of glutinous rice balls, raw fruit, roasted meat and chicken to sincerely worship the sky. More importantly, you should prepare wooden combs and grates instead of pointed combs, sewing kits and red scarves. Scissors, on the other hand, represent advantages, and the ruler of future generations, and the mirror takes the meaning of its bright future, that is, the so-called "faucet mirror, hinged scissors ruler."

Elementary course

After arriving at the man's house, the bride stepped into the man's house with the help of Daikin. A brazier (copper basin or iron basin) burning charcoal will be placed outside the gate in advance, and the bride needs to cross it. This is called "crossing the brazier", which means prosperity and evil spirits. Next, there is a ceremony to pay homage to the church, which is divided into three steps. The first step is to worship heaven and earth, the second step is to worship ancestors, and the third step is to worship Wengjiagu. After paying homage to heaven and earth and ancestral ancestral ancestral hall, a couple will bow to the parents of the groom, and the bride will offer fragrant tea to the old man and aunt, and then offer tea to the elders one by one according to their generation and age. Whether they kneel or not depends on the respect and preference of both sides. After bowing to their parents, the newlyweds will worship each other. Sister Dajin kept saying some auspicious words, and the ceremony was not completed until they rented each other to pay homage.

For the traditional China people, offering tea is a very important etiquette. When the newlyweds worship their ancestors, they should offer tea to their parents, which not only means thanking their parents for their upbringing, but also means that both parents accept the groom or bride as a new member of the family, which is a symbol of their recognized status. Two red dates and lotus seeds are usually put in the fragrant tea used by newcomers to worship tea, which symbolizes the good omen of early birth. After drinking the bride's cup of tea, the new family, grandparents and elders will send gold bracelets, jade and other jewelry as a meeting gift for the newly married wife, and also put a gift on the tray of fragrant tea (commonly known as "betel nut box") as a reward for Dajin's sister.

extinguish

When you get to your wife's house, the first step is to start. If you want to find a beautiful woman successfully, you must go through a series of intellectual and physical tests, and read a declaration of love (sales contract) if necessary, but the most important thing is to give the girls a generous opening ceremony until they are satisfied. After the wedding, the bride is taken out by Daikin's sister or maid of honor and given to the bride's father, who then gives the bride to the groom for a formal ceremony. Follow the couple to worship the heavens and the earth first, then the ancestors, then worship their parents with tea, and the ceremony of receiving the bride is completed.

To complete the above ceremony, the bride needs the help of the bridesmaid or elder sister. She will play a red umbrella, which means that the branches will scatter and the leaves will scatter. Other sisters must also sprinkle rice, red mung beans and gold scraps while walking, commonly known as "feeding the golden rooster", which is said to prevent the golden rooster from pecking at the bride. Before boarding the float, the bride should bow to her relatives and friends to show her gratitude. It must be noted that all the people who accompany the bride to the man's house, except Sister Daikin, must be unmarried women, and the bride's brother can't accompany the bride to the door. If the bride marries before her brother, she must hang his trousers at the door and let the bride wear them under her crotch. If she marries before her sister, she should send a skirt to her unmarried sister. Unmarried brothers and sisters should not witness newcomers going out or entering the door, and should temporarily avoid them.

San Chao hui men

Although Huimen is not listed in the Three Books and Six Rites, it is a very important wedding etiquette in China tradition, and it must not be taken lightly. Once upon a time, after the bride got married, she would go back to her family on the third day accompanied by her husband. When the bride returns to the door, she should wear a traditional wedding dress (skirt) in China and a brand-new red bridal bag. The skirt represents the bride's clean and elegant status, and only the yellow flower girl can wear it. At the same time, the man must send back a golden pig to show the bride's chastity. After receiving the golden pig, the female family distributed it to relatives, friends and neighbors, indicating that her daughter did not disgrace the lintel. Traditionally, the bride and Zhang Yue's mother's son-in-law have to stay at home for dinner. But now, in order to save time, most newcomers choose to return to China on the same day, that is, after the couple worship heaven and earth at the man's house and offer tea to Weng Gu, they immediately return to the man's house or go directly to the restaurant. Couples can also go back to their parents' home the next day, but not more than the third day, which means that the man is dissatisfied with the bride and does not allow the bride to go back to her parents' home. Now, except for the word pig, most of the Huimen ceremony has been replaced by Li.

Reply: 1, (the man sends it to the woman's house):

A golden pig, two boxes of cakes, two bottles of wine, a pair of raw chickens, two kilograms of pork bellies and pork, two baskets of fruit (representing vigorous life), lettuce with the lead (rising with the wind), onion (moving loosely), two boxes of pasta (representing love and lingering) and two sugarcane with the lead and the tail.

Return: 2 (from the woman's house to the man's house)

Golden pig's head, pig's tail, hands and feet, half a pig's tongue, a box of cakes, leading sugarcane and leading lettuce.

In fact, there are some taboos for newlyweds to hold weddings according to traditional wedding customs:

1. On the wedding day, the bride went out and the words had changed. The word has been replaced and can't be sent, because [the word has been replaced] is homophonic with the sweeping star, which is unlucky. The bride should not have pockets in her clothes when she goes out, so as not to take away the wealth at home.

No one can sit in a new bed until the wedding is finished, and the bride can't lie down, so as not to be ill in bed all the year round.

The bride must wear new shoes on her wedding day, which means throwing away old things.

When the bride goes out, she must wear earrings to show her obedience. There are no wearable clip earrings to wear.

5. If the elder of the couple has a deceased person, when offering tea, put the tea offered by the couple where they should sit. After offering tea, remove the stool and let the next person sit.