Urgent for homophonic ancient poems, two-part allegorical sayings, jokes and couplets!

Wentingyun

Light a candle at the bottom of the well and you can play Go together. (candle indication, expired)

Linglong dice Anhoudou, what do you know about bone acacia?

Bamboo branch Liu Yuxi

The willows in Jiang Shuiping are green, and I can hear the songs on the Langjiang River.

Rain in the east, sunrise in the east, said it was not sunny, but it was still sunny. (Sunshine-Affection)

Second, homophonic couplets.

1. Lotus (lotus seed) has a bitter heart and pear (liver) has a sour stomach.

2. Living in a pagoda, watching Kong Ming (Zhuge Liang), but resenting Jiang Wei (Jiang Wei), I find it difficult to travel (Lu Bu).

A bird in a cage, a heart in a nest (Cao Cao), hates Guan Yu (Guan Yu) and can't be Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei)

3. In the two-boat race, rowing speed (Lu Su) is not as fast as sailing (climbing).

A hundred schools of thought contend that Di Qing (Di Qing) is more difficult than Xiao He (Xiao He).

6. You get lotus roots from lotus roots, but if you have apricots, you don't need plums or media.

7. Confucius was born in Zhou (Zhou), and dance (martial arts) began in Hanzhong.

The breeze is everywhere and I can't stand it.

When will the moon shine again?

The first part: "Qing" means the rule of the Qing Dynasty.

Part II: The Bright Moon misses the Ming Dynasty.

Spiders under the eaves are full of ideas.

Earthworms in front of the court are full of mud.

The first part: the harmony between silk and privacy.

The second part: "mud" and "doubt", dialect pronunciation.

Last night, I played chess to find my direction.

See Yan Hui in the mirror today.

Lutz, a disciple of Confucius,

It can also be interpreted as "the number of pieces".

Yan Hui, a disciple of Confucius,

It also means "the true face of a face"

There were knots before they were unearthed.

Lingyun is still modest.

Write bamboo poems to express ambition.

Yellow Opinions on Cracks in Millet

Leave Ruth and fly.

Harmonic phoenix.

Downward harmonic crane.

Modest bamboo has curved leaves.

There are no flowers on the proud plum's back.

Rain and ashes piled up into pits.

The wind blows lotus leaves like turtles.

Part I: Harmony (Chen).

Downward: image harmony (direction).

A cluster of gardens in front of me. Who's Zhuangzi?

A few lines on the wall. Which Chinese book?

The bright moon is in the sky, and it is asserted that there will be no rain tonight.

Cold dew is cold, and it turns into frost when it comes late.

The second part: "frost" and "double".

Single plum blossom sweeping snow

Xixi Mountain is dancing and flowing.

Part one: Do, Re, Me, Fa, So, La, t I.

Downline: 1-7 digit dialect pronunciation.

The monk carried water, and his arms were covered with sweat.

Nuns transplant rice seedlings and press their hands into the array.

"press and insert" and "press and check",

"Deployment" and "deployment" are harmonious.

"Man" and "Jinshi" coincide,

"Sweat drenching" is homophonic with "Hanlin".

The tower is brightly lit with bright corners.

The lotus root planted in the pond is too white to grow roots (Geng)

The first part: Zhuge Liang, whose name is Kong Ming.

Bottom line: Li Taibai is Chang Geng.

Fine-haired poultry died under bricks.

Mr. Si Tong, coarse-haired beast

Shan Tong picked chestnuts and packed them in a box.

The old man selling the mausoleum will fall, and the tomb will be empty.

The beauty of this connection is that the last four words are related to meaning and sound.

Ni Fei monk hand

Short time difference

The ghost gave a cry. The first couplet means: the soil is fertile, but the seedlings are still thin. The bottom line is that the time of the sun in the sky is getting shorter and shorter (short is a natural phenomenon from summer to the future), and the time difference between day and night is getting longer and longer. If you read this couplet in homophonic, it will become: Ni Fei monks, thin ghosts and short hags.

Shigu Tiantiao River

Embroidered in front of the beauty hall

The first part is made by Shen and the second part is made by Shen.

"Woshang" is homophonic for "monk" and "embroidery" is homophonic for "scholar".

Jia Dao was drunk, but he wasn't faking it.

Liu Ling drinks nothing but zero.

In the Ming Dynasty, Tang Bohu and Zhang Ling got drunk after drinking all day, so they came together. After drinking all the wine,

It is also true that people are falling. Jia Dao and Liu Ling are both good drinkers. This couplet is very suitable for hotel signs.

Third, homophonic xiehouyu

Confucius was moved-all lost (book)

Tofu with chopped green onion-clear and white

Fried tofu with pickles-the word (salt) comes first

Nephew plays lanterns-as usual (uncle)

Put lime on your mouth-to put it bluntly (brush)

Hardcover Maotai-Jiujiu (Chinese Liquor)

Pig Bajie takes photos-asking for embarrassment (see)

Make a summary on your arm-relax (comb) your heart

Father-Lao Su (Su)

Four beams of cotton-can't talk (play)

Military adviser-useless place (Wu)

The 12356-nothing (4)

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven-Wang (forgot). )

One foot two plus eight feet-shit (two feet)

Amodou pops up two lines-I think (silk) is wrong.

Spread a catty of flour into a cake-pour it backwards (thick)

Plunge into the charcoal pile-mold (coal) to the top

Steamed a peach with 100 kg flour-a waste (waste) snack.

A jacket made of cloth-it's all in it anyway. Who has the most right to wear this coat? )

One-legged pants-one set (skirt)

A bright lamp-without two hearts (core)

To be a widow for life-an old hand (Shou), (There is a "widow for life" on the Internet.

Who is it? )

Twenty-five Liang-half crazy (sealed)

2345- lack of clothes (1)

23456789- Lack of clothes and food (1).

Twenty-two cotton and four bows-a detailed talk (drama)

The second girl combs her hair-no need.

Twelve o'clock accounts for three words-physical deficiency (Shen) and child deficiency (Xu)

Eighteen-year-old Gong E enjoys happiness (thinking of her husband)

Ten pence lost a penny-Long heard (nine pence)

Moonlight on the fifteenth-a lot (bright)

Mulberry leaves in October-who will pay attention to you, (the best way to deal with smoke bombs)

An 80-year-old woman yawned-the horizon is endless (teeth)

Walnuts in August-packed with people (benevolence)

A string of 800 copper coins-out of tune (hanging)

On the eighth day of September, I asked Chongyang-Soon (9)

Knife cutting Yuanxiao-unwilling (round)

Wear thin clothes for three or nine days in a row-there is a terrible wind.

How about Laoyou (Polygonum viviparum), a spinning girl for 30 years, sticking to the net? )

Three dollars for a tripe-make trouble everywhere (grass), (This shit shop has a bad tripe.

Many people)

Three Bodhisattvas-Miao Miao (Temple Temple)

Three-foot ladder-it's hard to say (eaves), (I feel this way about many topics)

Three hairs plus one hair-fashionable (four hairs)

Willow in March-exceptionally green (professional)

Born in the middle of the night-killing (Shihai)

Pulling pancakes by cart-more greedy (stall)

Barley fell into chaos without a clue.

Filling holes in the underground palace-not good (repairing temples)

The land Lord sits on the scale-Zhicheng (self-proclaimed)

The landlord is in prison-it's tiring (prison)

Earth God washes his face-lose (wet) face.

The land god falls into the well-labor (fishing) can't afford it.

The viscera of the landlord-solid (stone) heart and solid (stone) intestine

The earth god wears plain clothes-running in vain (robe)

Born and raised in Xinger —— Bitter Children (Core Children)

Soil Silkworm Drills into Peanut Shell-Pretending to Be Human (Benevolent)

No umbrella on rainy days-stingy (wet)

Rain and sunshine-fake love (sunny day)

Don't wear a hat on rainy days-it's raining on your head.

A jacket two feet wide.

Go to the henhouse and break your head-stupid (running) egg

Rolling Stones on the Mountain-Reality (Stone) and Reality (Stone)

Blow the trumpet on the mountain-fame spreads far and wide.

Shanxi Walnut-Deception (Full of Kindness)

Drumming in the Valley-Memories (Rings)

Thousand-year-old temple-Wuyin (monk), (It is said that there are many temples here, but few Buddhists? )

Kitchen God in Door God-Words (pictures) have words (pictures)

The janitor eats sugar cane-teaching (chewing paper)

Clap your hands on horseback-too far from the point (hoof)

Fourth, homophonic jokes:

1, a villagers' meeting, because of homophonic, the village chief said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls. ) Feed the pigs in the jar-one by one.

2. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because the car shop didn't have an auspicious license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" !

The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).

The origin of Chinese characters:

Since modern times, while recognizing Cang Xie, some people have expanded the ranks of word-makers. For example, Mr. Lu Xun thinks, "... Cang Xie is not the only one in society. Someone carved a small picture on the hilt, and someone drew some pictures on the portal. As a result, word of mouth adds words, and historians can perfunctory notes as soon as they collect them. I'm afraid the origin of China characters can't escape this example. "Lu Xun. On foreign languages. That is to say, of course, Chinese characters can't be created by Cang Xie alone, but gradually enriched by many people like Cang Xie, among whom Cang Xie is only more important and has a greater role.