The first lesson (2) of online class in xu teacher Duan Jinghui insisted on sharing 202 1-08- 16 for 658 days.

1. It happens all the time. If you don't ask, you won't think. When you ask for details, you organize the language structure, "What are your strengths?" This is a question, "What advantages will you remember under pressure?" This is a question: "What advantages did you especially thank yourself for when you were interviewing or coming on stage?" The design of questions is different, and the responses of cases are different, which requires the accuracy of language. Focus on solving problems, don't be subconscious, be pre-conscious, I will remember when I think of it, it doesn't matter if I don't remember, just observe more.

2. The definition of success, the definition of success should be put in stages, not the definition of earning 100 million yuan. The definition of success is in stages, and I can make a small step. The definition of success is in the context of consultation. For example, case will cut her wrist when she is in a bad mood. It will be a great success if you can console yourself a little this week. The definition of success should be small.

It may be too difficult to answer this question. You can change the question, there are neutral questions, such as your view on change? How can we bring about change? There is also a simple question, such as what do you cherish in life?

4. Some favorable cases will be pulled down if they are not recognized. Pay special attention to what he cares about, and he will accept the praise of what he cares about. Ask a case, what does he think is the standard of success? Pay special attention to approaching him in the language he uses and what he just said. He doesn't have to agree with you. You can say that not everyone can do what you do. Maybe you think it should be done, but according to my experience, not everyone can do it.

The second half of the course

1. When consulting, we don't need to use social norms to evaluate visitors. We should see where he worked hard, but he failed. Outsiders look at the results. We need to see the part of his efforts, especially teenagers, who are very concerned about whether their efforts are seen.

2. jump out of the black box of thinking. Focus solution consultants should jump out of the black box of thinking. So we put forward the definition of success. Whether there are things that make me feel comforted, happy and grateful in life, and different words bring different triggers, can all be part of success. The case is relatively negative, and the success will be less. In this process, Xie Jiao will remind you that you need to know what talents and characteristics this case has. Learn to observe the advantages of a case.

3. Exceptions. For this exception, let the case be practiced. We must open this exception. There are big exceptions and small exceptions. For example, apart from a small exception, when did you and your husband get along better? When did you stop fighting? How did that happen? Big exception, Lala asked. What do you cherish about marriage?

The total weight of work should bring hope to parents. The most important thing is not to give up the child.

5. Praise has a great influence on children. Children attach great importance to other people's comments. Praise helps build relationships with consultants. He's more confident. He'll see power. Therefore, Focus Solutions put forward the concept of advantage positioning. For example, if a child steals something, the focus will be on the other hand. The child just stole, not robbed, so why did he just steal, not rob? Of course, we won't tell anyone about it. Stealing and sneaking around. What do you see in him? He also knows that he can't do this, so he can only do it secretly. The courage to rob is greater, and the fear of doing something wrong is less. You will see his efforts, but be careful when praising him. "You know it's illegal and will be punished, so you do it very carefully", he might say, "I know mom and dad will be worried", "You love mom and dad very much, and it's very important for mom and dad that you are alive".

6. What is the meaning of the solution? Some things, problems are likely to be easier to solve, and you can use the methods you have used in the past. Some things, the problem does not expand, that is a great exception. In the face of a case, don't always think about solving his troubles, but learn to live with them. If you don't take good care of yourself after the acute attack of nephropathy and liver disease, it will drag on slowly, and so will mental illness. So, don't worry about getting rid of individual symptoms in this process. Let parents and children know how to get along with stress and the fluctuations caused by anxiety at this stage. Some children get better after the big exam, some children may be lovelorn again, and one child's symptoms have recovered more seriously. He said he met a lover. There are various possibilities in life, which is beyond the judgment of a therapist.

Some are stories of suffering. For example, what if the epidemic comes? The epidemic needs to be saved with a problem. How can this thing endure? We need to take advantage of our own advantages to undertake this problem in life;

More painful than an autistic child. Should I throw him away? As a child or teenager, you may need to learn special educational knowledge. Parents with children in need of special education need more training. He will learn how to get along with children, and he will work hard. Don't we have to live in such an environment? Learning how to take care of children, which happy parts of my life are more important. The key solution is not to eliminate the problem, and all consultations are not like this. Don't be taken away by the expectations of the case. We can tell him that we are moving in this direction, but we will try our best to achieve it. What's the difference between psychological counseling and fortune telling? In fact, consulting is that we can't predict the future. Consultation is how the consultant accompanies the case step by step. How should I live my life? There was a man who discussed with me, and he had to bear it himself. Consultants should have a reasonable expectation of their work.

7. Don't treat individual resistance as resistance. Focus solution holds that resistance means that you are too fast, resistance means that you need to get along with this child in other ways, and resistance means that this case has its own reasons. As a child and teenager, you should first discuss with him what he wants and how to really achieve it. You should make friends. If you hit him, you can't. How did you get along with * * * before? He will play with you in any way, so you should see that you can make friends in this way. Not to review mistakes, but to discuss how to achieve his goals first. It is more important and constructive to discuss what is right. If you ask him to review the wrong parts, he may be more resistant, so you should discuss the more effective parts with him, except the previous ones. Do the right thing, know the result, think back and silently know that you are wrong. Therapists don't have to reflect on cases.

8. Be careful not to make parents or teachers feel guilty during work. The teacher told the parents that if it was all their fault, a parent might hit the child when he came home. What did you tell me at school? I'm embarrassed. I'm just bad, so I'll let you go. This is not constructive. Need to discuss what he helped; Decriminalization is an important part of solving the focus. If a child is wrong, it means that he needs to learn something. The ability and methods of parents to discipline their children can be learned, which makes him feel willing and makes him more willing to do better. This is a better help for children.

9. objectives. Why does a person do this? There must be his reasons. Then how can we help him find a constructive way? He laughed at you in front of his classmates, and as a result, you hit him, and as a result, you were called to the student affairs office to record big mistakes. This classmate laughs at others everywhere. How do others respond? What methods can I try? Focus solving is very important for teenagers, and teenagers need to learn skills, which is more realistic. He will be more powerful in the process of helping the case according to facts.

The child is afraid to go to school now. What does he need? Not afraid. There must be important reasons for being afraid of going to school. Mom and dad said I told him not to be afraid! But he will still be afraid that the teacher will wake him up and say that your grades are the worst in the class. The moment the teacher woke him up, he had to think and face it, so that he could go to school.

10. Focus solution I believe that if you do something wrong, there must be something you want. For example, is it wrong for a child to have a rest after a day's study? Many times the fault of children is the standard of adults. If parents want perfection, you should let yourself ask your children to relax. If school teachers and children demand perfection, you should also relax. Teachers, schools, parents and children all have high requirements and are prone to accidents.

1 1. If the child who cheats in the exam wants to study hard, discuss with him how to get good grades. Cheating in this way will bring you many disadvantages; Stealing money to buy candy for classmates' children is a problem of interpersonal communication. Is shopping really the only way to get along with others? It's good to buy things, but is it just to make friends? There is a way to work with children and adolescents, that is, what would you do if it were you? You are the worst named in the class. A mouse shit ruined a pot of soup, and everyone was laughing at me. How should I face this time?

12. Automation Our life has been automated for so many years. It is a hard process for parents to overcome their children's negative automation, and how to help them break the negative automation and establish positive automation. Children's problems, parents' inner voices, if he encounters difficulties, how can I help him next? Turning negative into positive is a constructive idea and practice. Teachers and parents should especially strengthen what children do. If they do it more correctly, they will make fewer mistakes.