Zhouning Fortune _ Distribution of Temples in zhouning county

Hello, this is storm psychology. I'm Zhou Ning. It takes about 4 minutes to finish reading this 2700-word article.

In the process of interpersonal communication in our work and life, it can be said that it is interpersonal communication and interaction, which is full of lies and truth. This requires us to have an ability to accurately judge people, which is self-evident.

I really misjudged you.

I didn't expect him to be such a person.

So this man is so duplicitous.

Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? So-and-so said something bad about you here (ah ...? I didn't expect us to be so good and talk about me behind my back.

This is a common phenomenon in our life, and people are deceived.

In other words, we often say that a person's words and deeds are different, and what he says is different from what he does, but many times, we will be deceived by this superficial phenomenon.

So how to know people accurately?

First of all, we must understand what people think of him.

Is to look at his inner and outer.

What do you mean?

To put it simply, words are spoken and actions are taken. These are all visible behaviors that we can hear, that is, external manifestations, but we sometimes ignore another way of judging, that is, it is difficult to perceive the internal manifestations of people, that is, the inner thoughts and thoughts of the other party, so as to make judgments.

Therefore, judging a person can start from two dimensions.

1 He said it, but what he did was an external manifestation.

The second is his psychological motivation, which is an internal manifestation.

Both are indispensable.

So some high-level bosses will tell you whatever you say, but please do it. I don't want any promises. I just want to see your actions.

First, don't say.

A friend who only works and doesn't show himself is as diligent as an ox. He did the work, but no one could see his achievements. All his achievements have been taken away by people who can talk, and doing is just one of them.

Some people say it's stupid to just do and not talk?

In fact, such people generally see things through, and don't expect leaders and bosses to find out if what they do matches their merits and demerits.

Therefore, such people often become the targets of some leaders or bosses, giving people a sense of being practical and willing to work.

It can also be said that words have power and actions have influence. Some people say one word is worth doing ten things, but others like to prove it with practical actions, thinking that doing is more important than saying.

After all, most people still rely on practical actions, so some people are very obscure and low-key, and we are more willing to do more than say. Such people are often very reliable and have strong execution. If you add a good eloquence, it is invincible.

So people are judged by what they do first, not what they say.

Second, the invisible motivation.

A few years ago, it was reported that a woman who was almost 35 gave birth to a man who was 18 years old. The man cheated the woman by various means, and then the woman called the police and arrested the man. It turned out that this man was only 17 years old, and he lied that he was 26 years old. Because of his appearance,

This is what really happened around us, from which it can be judged that the boy's language must be sweet talk and resourceful in behavior. His words and deeds are not much different from that of a good man pursuing a woman, but the motivation of a boy of 18 years old can be distinguished from that of a really good man.

One motive is to cheat women through actions.

One motive is: through action, pursuing women to get married, have children and form a family.

This is an external and internal judgment.

Then how to examine a person's motivation?

The only answer is to think about it: why did he say that? Why did he do it? This is a more appropriate answer.

Judge his purpose according to his words and deeds.

For example, a person often says "I'll invite you to dinner another day". To this day, you haven't even had a bite of soup. It can be judged that such people are "noodle" people.

We invited a friend to dinner and asked him where he was. The other party said he would arrive in five minutes, but he didn't come for half an hour. Then he called to ask where he was. The other party said that he would arrive soon, but he waited for more than ten minutes without seeing him.

Such people often break their promises to others, do things easily, have no concentration on their goals, and trust others to do things. When you really trust them to do things and ask him for results, he will find all kinds of specious reasons to push you off.

So, when you encounter something, think more about why he said it and why he did it.

Look at the essence from the surface and reflect a person's heart from the words.

What we see and hear is sometimes only superficial. What matters is the brain. What is his motive? Get used to it with more practice, and this kind of thinking will gradually improve.

At the same time, we should pay attention to the content of the other party's speech, and detect his motivation from his "content", that is to say, looking at the components in his speech can directly reflect his values and his subconscious.

Just like we want to do business in partnership with others, in the process of chatting and talking with each other, every point of each other is to make money through profit. This project is very profitable. How much did you earn and how to divide it? Or, if the situation is not good for a year or two, you will quit quickly, and you will not lose money, but you rarely talk about how to operate and how to build a team. Such values, then be careful.

Because the other person's motivation is only money, his rules are based on the operation of rules, and he doesn't care about some details and values that have nothing to do with money. Such a cooperative relationship will undoubtedly not fail in the future, and conflicts are inevitable.

Pursuing a woman, if a man often tells a woman that he wants to get married, try to buy a house and a car, do housework together and raise a beautiful child together, then he can basically judge that he wants to marry a girl from his motivation, and we can continue to judge according to his behavior from his later actions.

If "you are so beautiful, so cute, and I like you very much" always appears in his language, then we can basically judge his direct motive values, whether he wants to get married and live with his partner or find someone who loves you for life.

There are too many scenes for a short essay to make a comprehensive analysis, so we can only use some skills and methods to open a person's brain, see his motivation and indirectly analyze and understand.

Listening carefully to what he said and what he said is a good analytical tool.

In addition, there are some simple skills to judge people on additional questions.

take for example

1. A person who dares to cut himself hard and insists on doing some hard things every day shows that he has strong self-control, such as studying, reading and exercising.

The more people who don't like how to talk, the more things in their minds.

People who like to talk about scenes or think they like to brag often have no real skills.

When you first see a very uncomfortable person, try not to touch too much.

It is often said that the more others show off themselves, the less they want it, but then again, the more others show off, the less you want it.

6. People who say which friend is fierce every day are often very simple and have no real skills.

7. In a new environment, don't rush to find someone you think you like first. You might as well observe and keep silent, and you will find more stories.

8. The more people cry every day, the worse they get along with each other.

9. If you want to know something, ask someone else. After they answer, keep silent and his eyes will tell you more.

In fact, an important role of learning psychology is to find out a person's words and deeds and his internal laws, and then see what level his subconscious is in, so that we can communicate in a targeted way. When a person knows himself well, he can also know others well. Psychology is very interesting. Don't think about what's going on outside, let me be quiet first. What kind of person am I? So you will see a lot.

Storm psychology, learn a little every day. Let's uncover the secret of psychological EQ. Welcome attention. Every day, there will be more personal abilities to improve and share dry goods. Please see our next article.