Fortune Telling Collection - Comprehensive fortune-telling - A joke that immediately amused his girlfriend.

A joke that immediately amused his girlfriend.

A joke that immediately amused his girlfriend.

A joke that can make your girlfriend happy immediately. When your girlfriend is in a bad mood, every boyfriend should make her happy at the first time. Telling a joke to your girlfriend is also a good choice, which can not only reflect his humorous side, but also make your girlfriend happy instantly. This article shared a joke that amused his girlfriend instantly.

A joke that makes your girlfriend happy instantly 1 1. Every dormitory has one who grinds his teeth, one who snores, one who talks in his sleep, and one who sleeps the latest, but watches the audience.

Second, I was a dog in my last life, otherwise I wouldn't be poor, ugly, busy, tired, fat, short, crying and frozen.

Daughter-in-law: If Fan Bingbing and I fall into the river one day, who will you save first? Husband: Save you first, of course. She has nothing to do with me! Daughter-in-law: What if she says she will marry you if you save him first? Husband: That won't do either. What if she lies to me? Daughter-in-law: true tm capital preservation!

Fourth, I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late on the Internet. The biggest change for me is that I have changed from a happy staying up late to a fearful staying up late.

5. My wife sent me a text message and asked, Honey, what are you doing? I'm going back: I'm exhausted from work. When will you come back from your business trip? She: I'm back. I stand behind you. Your uniform and beard were great just now! Oh, I'll go!

6. Many people say that if they can't tell fortune, they will get thinner and thinner. However, sometimes we have to believe. The fortune teller used to say that I was 27 years old and wore a yellow robe. Every day, there is food and transportation. It's so accurate to deliver takeout in the US Mission now!

7. The wife saw her son's playfulness and said, "Mom will test you. If you know, I will let you play. If not, I will do my homework. " The wife then asked, "How much is 4 plus 16?" Son: "20" Daughter-in-law took out a dollar and said, "What a coincidence, just come out so soon. Give you a dollar to buy popsicles. " Son: "Mom, ask a few more questions!" " I asked my father to do the math. "I heard a sour nose. It really is my son. I know that my distressed father has no pocket money.

8. Ideals are like underwear. There should be, but it can't prove that everyone has it!

When I say "whatever", I mean: I'm too lazy to think, and I can't think of anything good. It's up to you, but you must come up with something that I am satisfied with.

Ten, boys and girls sit together, the girl fell asleep at the window, the boy kissed the girl's face, and the girl woke up. What a beautiful picture, if they know each other

Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that I must study hard like this, otherwise others will say that that person has nothing but beauty.

12. The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

Thirteen, I always believe that I will be thin. Now I'm just playing with fat, but I'm playing with it

If you are always disappointed, you should reflect on why you have such great hope.

Fifteen, the company can take the other half to dinner. As soon as the boss announced it, Lingling, who was usually silent, spoke. Lingling said weakly, "Can I take someone else's husband?" Everyone in the company was shocked at once! The boss said: "It is reasonable to say that the company should not take care of your personal problems, but I still remind you not to play with fire and set yourself on fire." "Oh, just this once. It won't happen again. " Hearing this, Lingling quickly picked up her mobile phone and dialed: "Dad, mom is not at home. Don't cook by yourself. The company has a dinner party. Come and eat. "

16. Don't save money at the most beautiful age, or others will think you are not only ugly, but also poor.

Nowadays, when people talk about going to bed, they actually want to lie in bed and play with their mobile phones. If they get up, they will also sit on the toilet and play with their mobile phones.

If you are really hungry, you can call me and I will grab a snack for you to chew.

I just graduated in my 19 s and 20 s, and the salary gap is a little small. Calm down and get used to it when the wage gap in your thirties is getting bigger and bigger.

A best friend is always a wallet. When we are thin, we feel extremely distressed.

21. Stop complaining that you can't find a suitable person among1400 million people. You can't find one of the four options in the exam.

Twenty-two, every morning after I get up, I will silently encourage myself: even you have done such a difficult thing to get up, what can stump you the next day!

Twenty-three, those who look good and like to eat are called foodies, and those who look bad and like to eat are called gits!

Twenty-four, I have a learning heart, but I have a failed life; I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods. Horizontal criticism: I can't help myself.

A joke that makes your girlfriend happy in an instant II. First, I didn't like eating when I was a child, which led to my short stature; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short.

2. "Have you ever said the most humble words in your life to keep each other?" "Come back, fifty is fifty, and I will sell it to you at a loss."

Third, my mother likes playing mahjong, but then I was born. My mother gave up mahjong for me and the whole family, because she thought it was more interesting to hit me.

Fourth, fall in love? This is just a sad picture, a sad picture.

Five, one of the biggest troubles at present: economic strength can't keep up with aesthetic ability.

6. The best thing in the world is none of my business!

Seven, from scanning code payment to brushing face payment, the progress is not our IQ, but our consumption speed.

Eight, it is said that companionship is the longest confession. In fact, when it looks good, it is called companionship, and when it looks ugly, it is called entanglement!

Nine, when someone hates you, you should reflect on yourself, is it cute and charming, perfect to make others jealous.

10. Although I am often beaten by my wife, God knows my wife is not an unreasonable person. She always asks my permission before calling. When I said no, she called me and said yes.

1 1. My son wants to buy toys. Dad said, don't you still have toys? Dad promised that if you play with toys, I would buy one. The son cried and said, the iron ball you bought me last time, I played for three years, and I couldn't break it if I wanted to.

In today's society, it is useless to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it turns into popcorn, the runner will still run.

Thirteen, I used a sack of money to go to school in exchange for a sack of books. After graduation, I used these books to pay back the money, but I couldn't afford a sack.

Fourteen, when you fail, you will be surrounded by a group of people who care about you. They will ask you what happened, listen to your story of failure, and then leave with satisfaction.

Fifteen, dad, mom, we should be calm when we have a parent-teacher meeting, and face the teacher frankly to provoke you and me. I am your own. Do you believe me or him?

16, don't hate being fat, you eat every piece of fat on your body, you say, what do you have to complain about?

Seventeen, the three major life problems of women: Where do I come from? where am I going? What am I worse than that bitch?

Eighteen, the mobile phone shop is optimistic about a mobile phone, bargaining with the beautiful clerk for a long time without results, and finally reluctantly bought it. Before I left, I was still unwilling and asked, "Beauty, what mobile phone did you buy me?" The beauty paused and said simply, "I'll walk you out."

19. Don't retouch the picture endlessly. We all know how ugly you are in reality.

I said to my mother, "I'm tired of eating at home every day." Why don't we go out for dinner today? " Mom thought about it and nodded her head. Then he gave me a bowl of rice and let me eat it alone in the yard outside.

Be nice to people who like you. After all, brain damage, fools and high myopia are all vulnerable groups.

Twenty-two, people who used to be recognized by ashes can't recognize makeup now.

Twenty-three, why some people like to show their ankles, because this may be the thinnest part of their body.

Twenty-four, parents now let their children participate in various interest classes from an early age. In order not to let their children lose at the starting line, as we all know, some people were born at the finish line.

Twenty-five, "Can I drink milk that has expired for three days?" "I drank it three days before the production date."

Twenty-six, the most annoying shopping guide chased and asked: "Hello, what can I do for you?" To tell the truth, I just want him to pay for me!

Twenty-seven, male: "I'm glad you praised me in front of so many people." Woman: "If you are shameless, or if you are smart, what will my friends think of me?"

28. I advise you all to play less with your mobile phones and computers. I feel that my eyesight is getting worse and worse recently, and I can't see the money when I open my wallet.

Twenty-nine, just bought a new car for my daughter-in-law. A few days later, my sister-in-law came to borrow the car and called before going out! "Brother-in-law, the quality of your new car is really good, and the airbag is particularly easy to use." "Don't repair it. It's no use. Tell me where the car hit. " "The door of the tree ..."

Thirty, tap water can't be drunk directly, and fruit can't be eaten directly, but why can it be eaten after washing with tap water?