Riverside Scene at Qingming Festival

When I was young, I used to be a child with bad karma. After only 18 years of life, I lost two closest relatives-my father and my sister. Some people really dare not think about it. When they think about it, their hearts ache and their tears burst.

My father (my biological father) died when I was less than two years old. At that time, he was only in his early forties, in the prime of life, and died young. I heard from my mother that it was still a big group at that time, and after his death, he divided the fields into households in autumn. According to my mother's memory, my father died in the early hours of the morning. He had just finished his work that morning and went back to the commune to rest and prepare breakfast. He sat in the chair, yawned a few times, and then passed out. There is no blood on him, and there is no painful expression on his face. He walked quietly as if he were asleep. I later speculated that my dad might have a sudden myocardial infarction, or why he died so quickly. Anyway, my dad's death is an unsolved mystery in our family.

According to my cousin, my father was a captain all his life, from seventeen to his death. Dad is honest, eloquent and has a high prestige in the hearts of the masses. Father and mother had a marriage before they got married, and gave birth to a daughter, my elder sister, who was later raised by grandparents. My sister's mother, we call her Qiu Ma. Qiu Ma is beautiful, gentle, simple and honest, a good wife and mother. Helpless grandparents always look at her unhappily and scold her. Later, life became unbearable, and dad ended the marriage with her. Later, I was introduced to my mother. My mother's family is more than 100 miles away from my father's house. My mother has fair skin and delicate facial features. When she was young, she was absolutely beautiful. A girl with a big yellow flower can marry a second-time married man and give birth to a daughter, mostly for her father's fame. My grandparents are fierce characters, trying to bully my mother who just entered the door. Who knows my mother is not easy to mess with? Take the initiative in the first quarrel, and ask the village cadres to judge. When grandparents know that they are wrong, a family storm can be calmed down. Later, my mother simply asked to be separated from my grandparents, otherwise there might be no sisters in the future.

My parents gave birth to five children, four daughters and a son, but one elder sister and one elder brother on my head died one after another. Later, my father left four daughters, three sisters and me. Now my sister has been dead for almost twenty years. There are only three sisters left.

My birth also experienced some twists and turns. My father had three daughters at that time. In the 1980s, I was catching up with the national family planning. My father is the captain, so it is natural to set an example. It happened that my mother was pregnant with me at this time. According to the national policy, I am also facing the fate of abortion. My mother is a kind and soft-hearted woman, and her maternal compassion makes her hard. So my mother told my father that the baby in my belly is also a life. He is our own flesh and blood. She can't be so cruel. Moreover, he cried in front of his father all day, and under his mother's pleading, his father relented, saying that no matter whether the baby is a son or a daughter, it will be born. Later, because of super-life, he even got into trouble with his family and paid a fine.

As a result, my mother gave birth to me, another girl. I didn't expect my father not only didn't dislike me, but also took me to tell my fortune. The pigeon of the fortune teller was signed three times, which said that he would work as a double employee in the future. So the fortune teller told his father that the child was very blessed and had a good life. Dad likes me more and dotes on me. He often tells my two sisters not to leave me, saying that this is my son. When she grows up, I expect to enjoy her happiness.

I heard from my mother and sisters that when my father just died, it was time to eat as usual every day, and I would go to the door and ask my father to come back for dinner. Now recalling the scene at that time, it is estimated that the whole family will burst into tears when I shout.

I also heard my mother say that my father is a self-aware person and considerate. He takes good care of my mother whenever she is confined or ill. Sometimes when I go to a meeting in the county town, I will bring some colored silk thread to sew for women when I come back. They love each other and seldom quarrel.

When my father died, my second sister was thirteen, my third sister was eleven, and I was under two. I sold my family's grain and pigs for my father's funeral. After my father was buried, my mother took our three sisters, orphans and widows, and life was really difficult. Later, someone introduced a man in the town who wanted to form a new family with his mother. Who knows that after the man came home, his mother actually took three drag bottles. It is estimated that the burden is too heavy to leave, so there is no more. Later, my mother had no choice but to marry Wu Shu, who was ten years older than her in the village, and gave birth to a son, my brother. Wu Shu's family is isolated, lazy and incompetent. Once upon a time, he was a landlord He only cares about supporting himself and wearing warm clothes, and never worries about the livelihood of his family. My mother has been in poor health. My brother and I are too young. We have to rely on the work of our two sisters to support a family. When they got married, even the bride price given by the man supplemented the family, and there was no dowry for them. It's really hard for them. After the two sisters married in Henan, there was always a famine at home. Later, my second sister took me to her house to study for three years. Thanks to the support of the two sisters, my brother and I would have dropped out of school and probably starved to death. After my father died, the pillar of our family collapsed, and my childhood was miserable. I often think that if dad were still alive, the fate of his four daughters might be completely different.

Because I was less than two years old when my father died, I still have no memory, and my mind is blank about his voice, face and smile. His life stories are all hearsay. I often feel a little sorry in my heart, because my father spent too little time with me. But I'm glad my facial features are similar to my father's. As the saying goes, women follow their fathers and grow up well. That's also true. Maybe my father passed on all her blessings to me. Whenever I miss my dad, I look at my thin eyebrows in the mirror. Those small eyes will make me feel that my father is close to me. My father's shadow has never been far away in my facial features similar to his, in my flowing blood and in my jumping soul.

My sister's childhood is better than ours. Grandparents don't like our youngest, but they love her very much. Grandparents have a small population and plenty of food. Big sister can at least eat and wear warm clothes when she was a child. However, grandparents didn't hurt the elder sister in vain. In their old age, their elder sister died alone.

Although elder sister and we are half-lives, there has never been a gap or gap between us. When I was a child, my sisters and I had a very good relationship, and I would like to say something to them. When you reach puberty, you become sensitive and inferior, and you become silent. The second sister and the third sister are both married far away, and only the elder sister is by my side. She always teaches me patiently. She always said that there are too many ups and downs in life, so don't back down when encountering difficulties, and told me not to think too much and to study hard. With her warmth, I feel blood is thicker than water. Although I spent a short time with my sister, I left many precious memories, happiness and gentleness in my life.

In fact, among several sisters, the elder sister is the most talented one. She is very talented, not only studies well, but also has artistic cells. She likes painting very much. She often buys her own white paper and brushes, borrows my art textbooks, imitates the patterns in the books vividly, and sometimes creates some landscapes and characters by herself. I have no talent for painting. I can't draw simple figures, such as apples, pears and peaches, let alone landscapes and people. So I admired her when I was a child. What I regret most now is that I didn't ask her for a painting as a souvenir. Most of her paintings, together with other relics, were burned by her family, which is a pity to think of.

Big sister is also very business-minded. Sometimes I go back to my hometown, or go to my sister's house in Henan. After returning, she went to the wholesale city to buy some goods, such as socks and gloves, and took them back to the street to sell them door to door. This elder sister is very popular because of her eloquence, enthusiasm and always smiling at people. When the farm is busy, say hello, and a large group of people will come to help her transplant rice.

My sister is not only talented, but also beautiful. Like her own mother, she is the most beautiful of our sisters. Sometimes I see actors who look like her in film and television dramas. My mother always said, look, this person looks like your sister.

I remember that in the spring when I was sixteen, when the peach blossoms were in full bloom, a photographer came to the countryside to take pictures. My sister said to me, "Sister, let's keep it as a souvenir." I said I would discuss it with my mother, but later my mother said she had no money and wouldn't let me take pictures. Hearing this, she said, "I'll pay for the photo shoot." In fact, I know that her life at that time was also very poor, old in the world, small in the world and poor in economy. Now it seems that thanks to her persistence, we can take a group photo and leave me a precious souvenir. It's just that I never imagined that it was the last time I took a photo with her in my life, and she left me forever after two years. I still have that photo. I'll take it out if I want her.

At the age of seventeen, I went to work in the south after graduating from junior high school and didn't go home until a year later. Unexpectedly, my departure turned out to be a farewell to nature. I went home in winter, and she died in 10, just one month away. My dear sister, why don't you wait for January and say goodbye to your beloved sister? My family didn't inform me when she left. At that time, the communication was not developed, so I couldn't be informed in time. I didn't know the bad news until I got home. When I came back, I only saw a desolate earth grave standing there alone. I didn't cry at that time. I can't cry. I can't accept this fact. I feel deeply sad at the thought of never seeing my sister's warm smiling face again and never hearing her call me sister sweetly.

Slowly, I began to dream, always dreaming about the scene with my sister. In the dream, she is exactly the same as before, beautiful, warm and amiable. Finally, one day, whenever I think of her, tears will involuntarily flow out of my eyes. With the growth of age, this nostalgia will become stronger and deeper.

Elder sister committed suicide because she quarreled with her brother-in-law. Poor couples are always sad, and life is bound to stumble. Which family doesn't quarrel? Later, according to her cousin's memory, she just wanted to scare her brother-in-law with low-toxic pesticides, and as a result, she accidentally took a highly toxic pesticide and drank a few mouthfuls. Just because my brother-in-law was drunk again, he sat there dozing off and didn't pay attention. It was not until the two daughters cried for their mother that she woke her brother-in-law and rushed to the hospital. However, it was a long way, and before she got halfway, she stiffened and left. When she left, she told her wife that she didn't want to die and she regretted it. She is reluctant to part with her two young daughters. Silly sister, if I had known this, why should I have? Life is fragile and precious, and should not be profaned or self-mutilated.

For so many years, my biggest concern is my sister's two daughters. I have never seen them before every time I go back to my hometown. The older one works outside and the younger one is at school. I thought I was not a competent aunt, I didn't take good care of them, I didn't fulfill my aunt's responsibility, and I didn't buy them a new dress since I was a child. I have done too little for them. When they were young, I was still young and not very sensible. I didn't think about their situation until I became a mother. By the time I tried to make up for it, they had grown up unconsciously and no longer needed my love.

Now, my sister's eldest daughter is married and has children, and her youngest daughter is also in college. They are all very good and sensible, and they have not alienated me because of my fault, which makes me feel very gratified. When I went back to my hometown the year before last, my eldest daughter showed me her wedding CD. Seeing the lively and festive scene and the happy picture of her and the groom, I have mixed feelings and tears, which are tears of happiness, regret and bitterness. I thought to myself, if my sister is still alive, if she can see this scene, how good it would be. My daughter found a happy home, but unfortunately she couldn't.

I often think that if my sister can relax a little. With her intelligence and ability, coupled with the improvement of national policies, within three to five years, her family will surely embark on the road of getting rich. And the second sister and the third sister are far married. If the elder sister is still alive, I will have a sister to talk to when I go back to my mother's house. What a happy and sweet scene it would be!

Elder sister died at the age of 33, and flower of life was in full bloom. I was only eighteen years old that year, and my understanding of life was not deep enough. After she left, I gradually got a deep understanding of death. I hate death. Death is heartless and cruel. Will deprive a lively and agile life and understand how fragile life is. My elder sister gave me a painful and profound lesson at the cost of her life. I will always remind myself to cherish life. After I turn 33 every year, I will tell myself that I have lived one year longer than my sister. It's good to be alive. Life has sunshine and flowers!

The two closest people in my life left me so decisively. All they left me was endless thoughts and endless tears. If time can go back, I hope God can give me an upright and loving father and a beautiful and warm sister.

I am in my thirties. Every year in Tomb-Sweeping Day, I have never visited the graves of my father and sister, nor have I burned paper money for them. I also discussed with my sisters that I wanted to move my father's grave or erect a monument to him. The third sister said that Dad's grave was well buried, and the surrounding terrain was very bad, and water often accumulated. But his grave stood upright, showing no signs of collapse, which was a good sign for future generations, and he said not to touch the grave. Besides, she went back to her hometown to visit her father's grave two years ago, because everyone around her had moved away, and the road was covered with grass and thorns, so it was difficult to explore the road with her bare hands, let alone carry a few hundred pounds of stone tablets. Helpless but helpless, dad can only lie alone on the land thousands of miles away, saying how bleak it is. I had the opportunity to go to my sister's grave, but I never had the courage to go. At home, every year in Tomb-Sweeping Day, my mother would call my brother and me, find a crossroads and burn paper money for my biological father. I believe that there is no need to stick to any form in paying homage to relatives. The deepest yearning is a kind of commemoration, and the tears in the eyes are also a kind of commemoration.

Every time I go back to my hometown by train, I like to avoid noisy voices and look at the scenery outside the window. The trees covered with mountains and slopes are lush and solemn, as if they will not fall for a thousand years and will not die for ten thousand years. I stared at them silently, and they stared at me quietly. There was a state of "this makes sense, I forgot what I wanted to say". It seems that my father and sister have also become two big trees, quietly accompanying me and driving away the loneliness of the journey for me; Wait for me silently and escort me to arrive safely. I always feel that although the bodies of relatives are dead, if they still care too much about their earthly relatives, they will definitely turn into something in the world, silently accompanying and guarding us. Because I firmly believe that although life can disappear, love will last forever.

Today's sun is particularly warm and bright. In a trance, I saw my father and sister coming towards me with smiles. ...