By the way, the funniest one is to give 10 gold according to the classic, reply quickly and send it today! Not in the future, be humorous, advanced first! Happy new year.

When I was bored, I searched for funny signatures on the Internet aimlessly, and so on, and there was a composition with a zero score in the college entrance examination. It was a genius.

9. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

10, I like you so much. If you like me, you will die.

1 1. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum.

12, I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets.

13, how to lose weight without eating?

14, my mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said that this can be done, and I said that this really can't be done. ...

15, the ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.

16, Lei Feng did a good thing without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

17, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me? !

18, there is love besides teeth.

19, when life viciously turned everything into black humor, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with a higher education.

20. Time is too thin and fingers are too wide.

2 1. Little girls want to find a white horse in their dreams. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After being heartbroken, they can only choose a strong one from the donkeys. Such a donkey is named: economically applicable person.

22, crying, noisy, staying up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills in his hand and hanging himself with a small rope. No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love.

23. Our goal: Look at the money and make a profit.

24. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth?

25. During the onset of intermittent depression, strangers should not disturb and acquaintances should not find out.

26. Don't try to be brave after dark without medical insurance and life insurance. ...

27, chess, calligraphy and painting are not good, washing and cooking are too tired.

28, saying that money is evil, it is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

29. Bus crowding is a comprehensive sport, including Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports and fitness projects.

30. Sleep with other people's wives and let others sleep with their own.

3 1, hands in pockets, nobody loves.

32. Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.

33. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with people who try their best to make you end being single.

34. What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.

35. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens!

36. They said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET.

37. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

38. I am also an infatuated seed, but it rained ... and I drowned.

39. Many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street.

40. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

4 1. It is said that people have only two choices, either get busy dying or get busy living. I think I have a third option: I'm busy waiting for death.

42. Spring is sleepy, summer is weak, and winter is just a deep sleep.

43. You can't miss yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, and you can't give yourself happiness.

44. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

45. If you are doomed not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

47. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

48. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?

49. Live the blues spirit of hip-hop like erhu.

50. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

5 1, God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you!

When I woke up, it was already dark.

53. After drinking the medicine, he handed the bottle, hanged himself with a rope, and the jumper waved a handkerchief to see him off.

54. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

The fool stole the beggar's wallet and was seen by the blind. The dumb shouted, which startled the deaf. Camels come forward and lame people fly. The wanted man wants to take him to the public security bureau. Asako said, look at my face.

56. Deleting all your boring side is like condensing your life into a few seconds.

You should know the script of your life-it is not the sequel of your parents, the prequel of your children, or the story of your friends.

58. Landlord: "I can't sleep. What can I eat and fall asleep immediately? " Reply: "Eat me a sap."

59. The quieter the tree is, the more I love it. He is not there.

60. I believe you won't leave when you come. If you leave, I will pretend that you have never been here. -We should treat fate and love like this.

6 1, teenagers don't run amok, they are bold and presumptuous, so where do they get the theme when they are old?

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.

63. A long time ago, I decided that every time I miss you, I will bite the nail of my right hand. After a long time, Jianghu gave me a nickname-Yang Guo.

64. In a few decades, we will meet and send them to the crematorium, all of which will be burned to ashes. You and I don't know anyone, and we have to be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer ~

65. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

66. I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

67. The sign of an immature man is that he can die bravely for his ideal, and the sign of a mature man is that he can live humbly for his ideal.

68. Confess to a beautiful woman: The first time, she readily refused in five seconds, and the second time, she readily refused in fifteen seconds. Is ... Is she a little in love with me?

69. The sunshine is warm and the years are quiet. How can I get old before you come?

It's easy to meet a new person, but if you miss someone, it's too difficult to meet again. So, whoever broke up. Because it's too hard to get back.

7 1, where you fall, you get up, but you always fall. I suspect there is something wrong with the ground.

72. Secret love is one person's adultery, and ambiguity is an excuse for two people.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

74. If a son is not taught well, it will harm the whole family, and if a daughter is not taught well, it will harm others' whole family. If you hate someone, have a daughter and spoil her from childhood. When she grows up, she will marry that man's son, and then their whole family will be finished.

75. Being close to you is close to heartache, while being away from you is far from happiness.

76.work hard! ! For your Audi, my Dior.

77. I am a white-collar worker: I got paid today, paid the rent, utilities, bought instant noodles with oily rice, touched my pocket and sighed. I am a white-collar worker again this month …

78. Take your hand and drag your son away. The son said no, well, close the door and let the dog go!

79. Life is like this. It always occupies an absolute leadership position. When countless fools shouted that they had taken control of their own lives and their own destiny, they didn't see it. They live in the higher sky, showing mocking faces.

80. He is just a pot of water, which is poured into your rice pile. After several years, clear water turns into alcohol, and you become a pile of abandoned rotten rice, which is not useless, but can also be used to feed pigs.

8 1. If everyone gives me a dollar, the world will become a beautiful tomorrow.

82. Advice is the same as cooking. You should taste it yourself before letting others eat it.

83. I am not a fortune teller on the overpass. I can't say so much you like to hear.

84. The word "life" made my brain twitch and my spinal cord twitch for more than twenty years. Never got to the point.

85. All great actions and ideas have an ordinary beginning.

86, Tianshan children's grandmother-the appearance is too good, but there are 365 cracks in the heart. Every crack is written with the words spring, summer, autumn and winter, and the vicissitudes are like demons.

87. This is often the case, and it is too late to turn back. Even if you are willing to be a rotten horse, there may not be a returning grass waiting for you.

88. At one time, we all thought we could die for love. In fact, love can't kill people. It will only stick a needle in the most painful place, and then we want to cry. We tossed and turned, and after a long illness, we became a doctor. You are not the wind, and I am not the sand. No matter how lingering, you can't reach the end of the world. Dry your tears. Tomorrow morning, we will all go to work.

89. Once I looked up at the starry sky with my friends, and then we burst into tears. He was lovelorn and I sprained my neck.

90. Actually, you and I are the same. Everyone is pretending. The key is to install, to install a circle, and to have a threshold. If you pretend, you will move forward and become a legendary temperament. If you don't pretend, it will get stuck there. It's Carmen.

9 1, love is the first one at random; Love the second person because of inertia; Love the last person because of inertia.

92. Life should be as trouble-free as dementia; Dare to think and do like schizophrenia; Happy as crazy; Like a paranoid, fearless.

93. Keeping love in your heart is the worst way to save it, and you can't get interested. Why not send it to warm me?

94. Talent is actually using the same intelligence as others in different places.

95. Social psychologists have come to the conclusion that the highest value of love for others is naturally the person they really like, but the lowest value is not the enemy, but the person they liked before and then gradually disliked.

96. Good men make people want to get married, while bad men make people want to become monks.

97. A wife will tell a man how much vegetables are a catty, and a lover will tell you how many stars there are in the night sky.

98. If you give your heart, you will get it, but you may be completely injured; Keeping your distance can protect yourself, but you are doomed to be lonely forever.

99. The word fate is a contradictory individual. What is fate and division?

100, who died for whom before, now she can let who die. Time can turn anything cruel into a joke.

10 1. When everyone keeps a low profile, you can keep a high profile, but you can't go out of tune.

102, learning to forget is a life skill; Learning to smile is the art of life.

103. Let go if you are unhappy. If you can't let go, it will be painful.

104, the world is so imperfect that what you want is what you lose.

105, laziness, like rust, consumes the body more than labor.

106, the best and worst people created history, and the mediocre people multiplied races.

107. Being a parent is a very professional occupation, but most parents are employed without any training.

108, the so-called obedience is the extraordinary patience shown before reaching some ulterior purpose.

109. Animals only believe what they see, while people can see what they believe. Both happiness and trouble come from this.

1 10, if there is no buts in dreams, there is no ifs in life.

1 1 1, MM got out of the taxi and left the camera in the back seat. The driver quickly put his head out of the window and shouted at MM: "Miss, your camera!" " MM blushed and turned to scold: "You are like a fucking duck!" " Then the taxi left ... then mm chased the car and shouted: master, my camera ~ ~ ~! My camera

1 12, in the era of listening to tapes, it's time to rewind. Let's look forward to the songs we are about to listen to. So is love.