Funny lines from opera sketches

Lines:

Look at this cross talk. This line of work is different from other artistic performances. Crosstalk is here, and it also includes classical Chinese, idioms, proverbs, proverbs, people's accents and local dialects, which are many.

B: Ah.

Drama is not. Drama, it can't speak vernacular, mostly classical Chinese. Peking Opera? That Beijing opera, it has to, it only has lines of Beijing opera. Just like our Mandarin.

B is it?

A: Ah. Don't be busy-it can't say "Don't be busy!" "Wait a minute!" -drama "wait a minute! ”。

B: Ah. Don't be busy.

A doesn't usually say that. Who usually says that? You just walked there-"wait a minute". But the stage understands-you listen to the play, and he says, "Wait a minute!" "Going to the opera just said' Don't be busy' and told him to' stop'." That's all! It is "Come on! Please be quiet as soon as you meet, meet the boss, meet the parents, meet the father and start. I don't usually say, "Long time no see, how are you? I will salute you! " "Hey, come on, come on! "Can't' literally'! No need. On this stage, it has a stage word-"just"! Wait a minute! Whoosh! " Alas! "Another exclamation," alas! "Don't believe it?" How do you talk? -Say it again.-What did you say? "

B: Ah.

Say "Du!" It is urgent. "Huh?" I don't want to, I don't want to-"Huh?" "Du!" It's urgent When you see an official in this scene, you should kneel down to the official. It's better to say "woo!" The prisoner must be a good man. Take him to class-"kowtow to adults!" "Look up!" "The villain is guilty and dare not look up." "Forgive your innocence." "Thank you!" The official looked at it and said, "Alas!" All right.

B what?

Alas! Doesn't look like an evil person. Detailed interrogation, okay. "Du!" -It's broken!

B what?

Bad luck! "kowtow to adults." "Look up!" "I have a guilty conscience and dare not look up." "Forgive your innocence!" "Thank you!" "Du!" Bad luck, bad luck!

B is angry.

It's true! This play is very deep, and hard work is the hardest. "Singing, playing, doing, reading and turning", this ... this stage. ...

B Oh, you know a lot about Beijing Opera?

What is A doing? You don't know me? You don't often go to the opera.

B and you?

Do you often go to the opera? Beijing opera, do you listen?

B I like listening to plays since I was a child.

If you want to stay at home and often go to the opera, you will definitely know me. You must know me! Do you know me?

B don't know him?

A look! Look carefully, alas ... you love Beijing opera, and people who love Beijing opera may want to recognize me.

B is it?

Why don't you know me?

B who are you?

Jiayang ...

B yang?

A Yang Bao Sen!

Where's Yang? Are you Yang?

A I really don't know. Take me ... Think of me as Yang. I didn't! My last name is not Yang. Who, Yang? Think of me as Yang! I'm not Yang Baosen.

Who are you?

Do you know Yang, a man named Jiazi?

B I know.

I want to ride him three times. How many years?

B how many years? Hey, how many years have you been riding three rounds!

That thing!

B that thing is also pedaling for three rounds.

First, he kicked me three times.

Oh, kick you! Treat you like a third wheel?

A treats you like a tricycle! I sat ... I sat there and pedaled for three rounds, and then I asked him, "You pedaled Paulson!" " "Bao Sen is ill, the car is mine, and I will give it to Bao Sen.

B, I gave it to him.

My last name is not Yang.

Oh! Who are you?

Ma Jia! Beijing, ask around! Beijing, ask around, singing boss Ma! Then who doesn't know?

Oh, boss Ma from Beijing? Ma Li Anliang?

Mom, what is Li Anliang doing? Ma Li Anliang is our family. We are all family.

B Oh, a family.

A horse is "cheap".

B: That's right.

A "Fu Liancheng", his typesetting is the word "Lian"! Our class was called "Xi Liancheng" at that time. Have you ever heard of it?

B I have heard of it.

A "happy connection"! Hey, are we "happy", Racif? Guess what?

B Richford, big brother?

Ah, yes.

B I know.

A: We are together. Need I say it? Does Hou Xirui know?

B I know. Wow.

One moment-"Hi", Chen Xixing, Kang ... Without Wei Xikui, Wei Xikui changed her drum.

B hasn't changed! Sing the drums together.

A Not Wei Xikui. I forget what "Xi Kui" is.

B Hello, Liu.

Liu is a man. We're all happy anyway.

Oh, what's your name?

Dinoflagellate

B wash ... I pedicure.

What is pedicure for?

B What are you doing in the bathroom? You finished washing there, and I am here.

Jiaxi! The word "hi" is the word "hi"

B that "hi"?

A is not a shower person. Tao and "happiness".

Oh! Take a shower?

The word is dinoflagellate ... I don't know yet.

He can't even say his name.

Prefix "a" ... let me think about the prefix "a".

"Algae" in Lishengzao.

Well, if you don't mention it, I'll forget about him! Li Shengzao, have you heard of it?

B yes.

How does A sing?

B good.

A don't hold it, don't hold it! Don't hold it, don't hold it! To tell the truth, what does Li Can's "Shengzao" sing?

B not bad.

A what do you think?

B both think it's good.

A suit?

B suit!

That's it, then we have no chips. If you accept it, it's over Then I'll just ... let's go

B I take Li Shengzao, what can you do?

A All you have to do is make it with Li Sheng.

What's the matter?

A You think algae bloom is good, that's good! I am very happy.

What does b have to do with you?

He learned it from me.

Did Li Shengzao learn from you?

Has anyone heard of it? How does Li Shengzao sing? He completely imitates me, that is, I teach drama. I rehearsed it for him when I was in the regular class. I taught him all these things and copied them completely from me.

B is it?

You look at him as if he were watching my play. Li Shengzao-I named him, and he set the word "sheng" in his class. When I say his name is "Shengzao", you will know that he learned it from me.

B what?

A: My name is "Bath" and his name is "Remaining Bath"-I washed him after I left him!

B: Good! One basin for two people.

A I've been in Jiangnan, Jiangnan area. Have you ever been to Shanghai?

B yes.

A How about Nanjing?

B yes.

When I go to the south, you ask around, the son of heaven overseas is unique-horse, me! Hey, Zhenjiang, ask around! Zhenjiang Grand Stage built for me.

B is it?

A Suzhou, me.

Ouch!

Artificial intelligence ... Hangzhou.

B good.

A ... Wuhu ... I, I am fast, fast!

B will "sigh"! Dying, this!

I said I was going to die? I said I was going to die?

No, you mean you're dying?

A I'm going to Wuhu soon.

B Oh, performing there.

A: I don't perform now. I stopped singing these years. I'm angry! I'm angry. I can't sing.

Who's B with? Are you so angry?

A this! Where is it? In Shanghai. You see, 1999 ... Let me see, 1945. How many years have you been watching it?

The year when Japan surrendered.

Ah, yes, Japan surrendered in 1945.

Who's B with? Are you so angry?

At that time, I taught ... the fans there. Aren't you an amateur now? I was a fan at that time.

Right, right.

National drama club. I-I'm the coach there, the coach, my coach.

Coach Bay? Football? Is it volleyball?

What is football for? I sing opera! What is football for?

Isn't b the coach? Do you sing too?

A is not a coach ... I ... I'm a conductor, not a conductor. I have the venue and the waiters.

B what?

A venue.

B, the venue is also wrong.

I have to listen, I have to line up!

B that's called directing.

Yes, yes! Director. I will guide it for you. (punch a hole with b)

B no! I will be blind for a while. Will you hit me in the eye?

I went there to be a director, and I rehearsed for it.

oh

A ticket friend learned from me. Hey, many fans asked me, "Boss Ma, I have studied with you for so many years! I will give you this kind of money every month, and I will cook for you every day. Please have a look on the stage. I've never seen you on the stage. Show two performances your stage figure and learn from you. "

B: Ah, let you play.

A: There are many fans. What should I do?

B So ... Let's go.

A, singing.

B: Ah.

A We don't want to make money, just let the fans learn.

Right, right.

A played for two days.

Where is b?

A is gold.

The Golden Theatre?

A It's open for two days on Saturday and Sunday. Night show, two night shows. I don't sing during the day. I sleep during the day and rest during the day. After playing for two days, fans will learn. Isn't this a reservation? It's your turn to be angry.

B why are you angry?

Alas! That year, that year, who was that? Xiao Yuner! He, this son ...

B: Huh? Who is Xiao Yuner?

Jiashang.

B Shang Xiaoyun? That's boss Shang! Or a little fish?

What about Shang Xiaoyun? He went to Shanghai, the Golden Theater-he was singing! It's his turn to sing again, which makes me very angry. I walked in front of the theater, and saw this big Daewoo in front of the Golden Theater: "Shang Xiaoyun. It starts on Saturday.

Get out. "I see, huh? Let's make a decision-Saturday and Sunday?

B yes.

How did A change? I asked the manager what should I do?

B I have to ask.

I want to go into this theater. I want to go upstairs and find the manager. "I said the manager? What about the manager? " The manager is sitting in the room. "Oh, come, come! Come on in! Just looking for you, I don't know where you live. "

B Maybe it's around this corner.

A "you! Listen. Ah, don't come now. " I said, "Didn't we make an appointment? Saturday, bye. " "Ah, here comes Boss Shang." I said, "Which boss is it?" "Shang Xiaoyun-Shang Boss." "What about me?" "Listen."

Listen to me?

I said, "How much have you heard from us?" "Listen to the news! There is no corner in the theater, you come. "

B Oh, this one is being repaired.

A makes me angry! Why do you look down on me so much? Do you believe him? I have to sing, I can sing!

B If you have to sing, won't it bother your boss?

Why should I mess with him? Do I have to go to the Golden Theatre?

B ah ... that's right

I learned this art in the theater? Really! Temple of heaven stage.

B Tiantan stage? Huh? The biggest.

A that's right! It was originally scheduled for two days, but I changed it to three days.

B is one day ahead of him.

Let's gamble on this anger and put out this fire. One more day, I will play for three days.

B played for three days.

A How much is his ticket worth? Compare with him. Ask around, the golden theater. What's he like here? Fares? Ask, Shang Xiaoyun there-eight thousand pieces!

Eight thousand?

A front row, 8 thousand yuan each! 1945.

B not much.

A expensive! Great! Great, great! High price!

B buy a sesame seed cake 100 yuan, and Shang boss sells it for 8 thousand yuan?

A not worth it, not worth it.

B it's too cheap.

A: I have consulted the Temple of Heaven stage. How do we determine the fare? I said, how much is it over there? He said, "Eight thousand." There are 8 thousand, think about it, I'm here ... don't hesitate, just!

Two thousand dollars! Buy 2000 yuan more good tea. Not to go to the opera, but to have tea ... right?

Who is this? Who is it? Who are you talking about? What is this? Who is it? Who are you talking about?

B said you!

An eight thousand, an eight thousand.

That's boss Shang.

Me? How much am I?

B two thousand dollars, that's too much!

A I'm worthless. I'm not as good as him? Where is it? Where is it? Where? where? Did you get a look at him? I saw it! Have you heard? Did you get a look at him? Have you heard? Did you get a look at him? Did you hear or see it?

B I think so.

Bah! Still this kind of person! You can't talk to him! You can't talk to him! I'll tell you slowly here: eight thousand, eight thousand! He has eight thousand dollars! My two thousand? Also bring some good tea and rice. I asked you for a price, and I fell, and I stumbled!

Oh? How much do you sell?

How much is one? Twelve thousand!

b？ Twelve thousand in the front row?

What is in the front row? It's 12 thousand in the front row and back row. The numbers in the front row and back row are incorrect.

B twelve thousand?

A didn't sit in the right position. You caught up with the front row of 12 thousand and the back row of 12 thousand. Upstairs, just behind, or 12 thousand

Wow! This price is high.

A that's the price. In Go to the Opera, the audience doesn't care about money. They watch art and listen to drama, so we have to work hard for three days.

B Hey, what was the play the day before?

Answer? The day before, comic books.

B "Lianhuantao"?

A "stolen hook".

B hey! This play is good.

A hey! Sing all the songs: sit in the village and steal the hook from Mabai Mountain! Doulton, Shang Xiaoyun, one? Shang Xiaoyun to Doulton?

B can't come, can't come!

Oh, oh! It's over!

B What about the next day?

What about the next day? The next day, I'm going to give a report on the story of strange resentment and Wu Pener.

Second, the old play bones?

A sings kung fu.

Old student B, can you do it?

How about a? It doesn't matter! Singing, playing, doing, reading and turning are all work!

Old student b, who are you going to see?

A "strange grievance"-old classmate! The day before, I was Doulton! Comic books.

B, stop talking about dalton! Who is this "strange grievance" old student?

I sing kung fu.

B is it? Who to find?

On the third day, I think, I will have one. ...

B no, not three days! The next day. Who is that old student?

I know. The next day, the second day, the old student, who is it? Wu Biji, who is he? Zhao Da and his wife killed him and made it into a basin.

B Yes, what's his name?

You see, (singing) that man did it. ...

All right, all right.

Don't be busy, the words will come out soon.

B if you have to ask? What's your name? What's your name?

A Xu Shichang.

B what?

A Xu Shichang.

B Xu Shichang? Liu Shichang!

A: Yes! Liu Shichang, Liu Shichang! Yes! I said Xu Shichang. Liu Shichang!

B Xu Shichang? That's the president!

A Liu Shichang, yes! The next day, I arrived in Liu Shichang. All right! Let me have a special one on the third day! Hongyou second floor! Hongyou second floor! Look at me alone. I'll take it down alone.

B alone?

A: Hey, why can't you hold back?

The second floor of Hongyou?

A: Ah!

B, the third floor is out of gas? Is there any oil on the third floor?

What am I doing here? What am I doing on the third floor?

B didn't you say it was "Hongyou Second Floor"?

This is a play! This is the building, what building ... this play!

B that's a dream of red mansions, your third sister and your sister!

I know. Never mind. I'll come over. On the cartoon the day before, it was an evening performance, but not during the day.

B no singing during the day?

Night performance. Come at eight o'clock in the morning, it's full! The theater is full!

The second night show should be full!

A's number is wrong. Who can't leave early without the right number? Go to the front seat, you must hear it.

Right, right.

A went early. The audience went early, 8 o'clock, full house! I haven't got up yet. I can sleep. I listened to the guests and the audience shouting. I opened the door and looked: Hey! From the heart!

B hey! Wait! It should be full at eight o'clock How did you know?

This woke me up.

B did you wake up? Where do you sleep?

A backstage.

B Haha, sleeping backstage? Where are you staying, hotel or restaurant?

I don't live in a hotel, I live backstage. I always live backstage, and I always sleep with box office officials. Fold clothes, fold clothes, the box officer.

Why did you sleep with him?

I just want to build his bed.

Wow! This corner! Not even lying down.

A not without, not without!

B is it?

A: I don't care about this thing because I have money. It's too much trouble to go out and pack, which brings me trouble. I am rich, I wear more clothes, curtains and big handles are more than 70.

B more than seventy?

A: Ah.

B why don't you change the bed?

Can armor be managed? I'd love to! I'd love to. Just after midnight, more than 400 people came to buy tickets. Tickets can't be sold in front, it's full! There are no tickets left. "No ticket? No way! We have to listen! We listened to boss Ma,

We are not from here. We come from Nanjing, Suzhou, Hangzhou, Bengbu, Xuzhou, Shijiazhuang and Xingtai. "You see, so many people, how to do? No place to sit! " Buy station tickets! ""standing tickets? Ok! " "Twelve thousand! "

b？ The station ticket is also 12 thousand?

A or 12 thousand. More than 400 people stood and listened. Great! A lot of seaweed! What a wonderful performance! Stand and listen, more than 400 people. I just stood up and came again, more than 300 people, and I still have to listen. The theater manager said, "What should I do?"

And then what? The station tickets are all full. Can I buy a squat ticket? "We are willing to, willing to!

B squatting? How to squat?

Everyone in Party A is wide at the top and narrow at the bottom, one squatting in the gap between them and the other squatting in the gap between them.

B: Good! Suffering is coming!

Ah, just squat down, 170 people are coming again!

More than 170 people?

A: These more than 170 people cried to tears at the door. "I can't listen to Marcy early. I can't live."

B ah, as for it? This!

Oh, the manager relented and said, "What should I do?" ? Buy a ticket. Yes! Hang up! All right, hang up! "

B hang up? How to hang the ticket?

A is tied to a rope, tied to a rope and hung on the wall.

B: Good! Is suffering coming?

A hang the ticket! Hang 170 people!

B ok!

Jiahao! I am so happy in my heart! Dress up, dalton! I was just about to scratch my face!

B: Hey! That's called hook face.

A: I said dog face, I'm afraid you don't understand! Hook your face ... hook your eyes?

B hook face!

A was about to hook his face. A tall man came in from the background, wearing black-rimmed glasses, brown glasses and sunglasses. I can't see it, big guy! "Oh, hard, hard, hard! Gentlemen! Which boss ma? Who is boss Ma? Who washes algae? "

B ok, find a bath!

A "me, me! Me, my name is Ma! " "Oh, hello! It's time to come Pay less attention! I have no idea where you live! "

Oh? Who is this?

A does not recognize it. "What do you do? Opera singer? No, what's your name? " "Kim, Jin Shaoshan." "Shaoshan?"

Jin Shaoshan came to visit? All right!

"Ah, you want to see me? Can I help you? " "Nothing else, I heard that you posted a comic book instead of singing Doulton. If you want to sing Doulton, I won't eat! Although my ability is not good, I grew up in Jiangnan and North China, and everyone knows that I sing well. Listen to this today, and then listen to that, I am worthless! Anyway, if you give me something to eat, I'll come to Douerdun. "

He is coming to Dou Erdun.

A I said, "You fight for me. What about me?" "Are you coming to Tianba?" "who?" "I come from a small hill to fight for the pier, and you come to Tianba."

Can you do it too?

A will do? Forget the word "Ye"! It's "ok"! I said, "Good! You play! I'll draw your face. " "ah! Never mind, I'll do it myself. " I said, "Come, will you?" Holden, I'm coming to Tianba. I said, "Who? Ryan. Ryan! "

Who's Ryan?

A Zhou Ruian, Zhou Ruian is dressed as a bully! I said, "Forget it! You abstained, I am a bully. " I am a bully. I looked at the curtains: Shaoshan, this ... this Doulton!

B great!

A is penniless.

b？

The place where A stole the horse was completely different from mine when I saw it.

B yes! He wants to be like you? He didn't lie down either!

A let's not talk about his figure. He sang "Sitting in the Village" and shook his head. Who applauded? As soon as he appeared, the audience in the audience muttered, "Hey! All right, all right! Where's boss ma? Good morning Marcy! " Jin Shaoshan?' "Horse? It must be' Tianba'. " Hold back and cheer for Huang Tianba!

Listen to you.

Listen, I want to play this game. Think about this! How about playing bullying?

B monkey?

A ok, every sentence is good. He didn't fall well and neither did we? He doesn't want to sing. I don't know what happened to my voice that day

B is it?

I don't know what I ate that day. That day, wow! My voice is so bright! (Learn to sing) "One horse left ..." Huh? Wrong.

B is not the word.

A This is Fenhe Bay!

B What is Fenhe Bay?

A "Wujiapo"! I am "BMW?" I'm a bodyguard ... bodyguard ... what?

B "Bodyguards Passing Malan Pass".

A: Huh? Did you listen to it that day?

B I won't listen!

Listen! Listen.

B I won't listen.

A didn't listen. How did you remember my words?

What is your word?

This is the word I use.

B who sings this word?

This is the word I use. That's my word, "Bao ..."

B bodyguard!

Oh, yes (learning to sing) "The bodyguard passed by Malanguan, ah ...! "I fell silent, and the audience below, even upstairs and downstairs, wow!

B Look at this, ok?

A is all gone!

Why don't you go?

A scolded the street and returned the ticket.

B ok!

Do you think I'm in a hurry? Serve you right! Let's go You don't know art. We have experts who sell this kind of thing.

B: That's right.

There are really 170 people left!

B love to listen?

It hangs on the wall, so I can't leave!

B can't leave?

Ma Wang Fengshan performance book