Crosstalk line

(stand-up comedy)

Tell me something about our community. Everything special happens in our community. The man said, "Where do you live?" Don't worry. I'll say this. You just have to listen. Don't ask me where I live.

When I was a child, the rich people near our home were big landlords. The old man and the first three girls were all hired out. Wow, this old man has been a foreign official twice. Old people are the foundation of Jinshi. What does a brother-in-law do? Learn from Arvinju, right? Where's juwan? It's hachi, as high as juren's position. Uncle, the family has money, and Uncle almost had an accident. What happened? Simple-minded, stupid, stupid The man said, "No, why did he give the girl to a fool?" Such a rich man. "This is the life of parents. When I was a child, I decided to kiss and marry young. It's good to look after the children. Everyone in the family took advantage of the money to give it to the girl. Listen, listen, something happened in the middle. The child got sick and took too much cold medicine! You can't break off your marriage when you are old. These three uncles didn't get married until they were in their thirties. Why? I don't want to give it, I can't do it without it, and I can't retire if I get married late. I am so fat that I feel sleepy all day. I'm too old. Have you met Wang Dianyu from Black Boy in our group? Fatter than Wang Dian Yu! On the weighing scale, it's about 480 kilograms! It doesn't matter! He is in his thirties, wearing a big bib, Liuhala! Kharrazi spouted! He couldn't blow his nose when he came down, but he went in wheezing! Don't go back and put it on your sleeve for a while! Jia! Just count three beautiful girls. That's her. This husband is so wicked! You see, this is not harmful! I can't help it, I already kissed it! What's this called? In the old society, everyone paid attention to "life" and accepted everything.

The old man's seventieth birthday, three aunts came a few days ago, and they wanted to come to Shoutang, which happened to be his birthday. As soon as the servant entered the door, he reported, "Uncle Da is coming." In the old society, when my uncle came, he had to leave, and Lao Taishan had to pick him up. Lao Taishan is an old father-in-law. This ancient Mount Tai is reflected outside the gate. Wow, that's much more exquisite. Weng Xu saluted at the door and walked inside. The old man was talking to his brother-in-law while walking in the aisle. He went outside the second door in the gate and leaned such a bamboo against the wall. Lush! The old man blurted out this sentence: "son-in-law, look at this bamboo, it was not big in the first year, and it has been rented out this year!" " Ha ha! Why is it so high? "Brother-in-law said," this kind of thing is empty, so it grows tall! ""When the old man heard this, bamboo was hollow. As soon as I entered the second door, a goose came, so tall, so white, with a bag on its head and so barking. The old man said, "This thing loves to bark. Why is it so loud? " Brother-in-law said: "This kind of thing has a long neck and a high voice." "Well, that's right! Hey, uncle, why is this goose and duck floating in the water? " "It has a water palm and a hair that is good for water, so it can float." "Reasonable." On my birthday, my wife waited beside me. This wife hurt her eyes and her eyes were red. She wiped her eyes with a towel. The old man asked, "What happened to your mother-in-law's eyes?" Brother-in-law said, "Never mind, my heart is rising. Just buy Niuhuang Qingxin Pills and eat them. " Speaking of which, the second uncle is here. The second uncle salutes and the old man greets. He went to the door to finish the ceremony. Move in, go this way, and ask the second uncle what he said to the big uncle. The second uncle's answer is similar to that of the uncle, and there is not much difference.

Uncle is here, and the old man has to answer it. If I don't meet him, I'm afraid the third girl will be picky in turn. When the old man greeted him, he saw his uncle get off the bus, and the corridor was wheezing, and halazi flowed into a big string. He bowed at a distance: "Good guy! Old man, old man plays with fireballs! " The old man had to hold him, and two son-in-law came in hand in hand. Don't pull him, lest the third girl be picky in the future. "Uncle is here, let's go." The old man pulled his arm and frowned. How come? His hands are full of snot. Go back and wash up. Into the gate, go to the bamboo forest and ask him; "Uncle." "Why, old man?" "Why is my bamboo so tall?" "Why is it so high? Ask it, you ask it! " The old man said, "This is outrageous. Your two brothers-in-law said,' It's hollow and tall.' ""a guilty conscience is high? Where is Shanshan? " "Oh, you're right! Hey, why is this goose so loud? " "It has such a loud voice!" "outrageous! Your second brother-in-law said that it has a long neck and a high voice. " "Long neck pitch? What about the locomotive? Louder without a neck! " "Then how did it float on the water? "It's floating!" "It's not appropriate! It has a water palm and water-friendly hair. " "Water palm, water wool wow? Toad has no hair and floats in Shui Pi! " Arriving at Shoutang, the old man said, "Why do you think your mother-in-law's eyes are so red?" "She wants to be so red!" "To be so red? Your second brother-in-law said,' When the fire rises, it becomes red. ""the heart rises? Where is the monkey's ass? Why is it always red? "

After dinner, I want to go to the opera house to listen to the drama. Those who don't like listening to the drama will talk to the old people here. The old man suddenly remembered something, and he was happy: "Dear friends, my friend gave me a gadget today. Let's have a look. This is very interesting! " Let's go "We didn't know what it was, so we followed the old man out. Wow, a horse, tied to the door, is ten feet long from beginning to end, with no hair on it, like purple satin. There is a white light on its head, and its name is Ding Yu Huazi Ai. The old man said, "Look around. "Everyone agreed." I am riding a horse. Look at the footwork "The old man is seventy years old and he is very happy at the moment. People love to sell their old temper all the year round. The boy, with a whip in his hand, just got on the horse at the door. When both of them were pedaling, the horse collapsed to the ground and clattered. I was just about to get down at the door when my uncle came. Sister-in-law is a literary gesture. He pulled the reins and didn't hold his fist: "Grandpa is a good horse! This horse is not only good, but also you ride well! Thousands of miles away! My son-in-law can't say this in front of you. It's called teaching axe. Today is a beautiful day. I have four words of praise for your horse, but it's really embarrassing. "The old man loves to hear, the sword is given to a strong man, and the pink is given to a beauty. As a scholar, he loves to listen to this poem, word, song and poem. " Oh, well, my uncle praised me. Then I'll go again and reward your praise! How do you say "brother-in-law? He said, "Grandfather got on the horse, and the water bowl was full of gold needles. The horse has walked eight hundred miles, but the golden needle is not heavy. "This means that the horse runs fast. Old man: "Thank you, thank you!" "I went again. The second trip, to come down, the second stationmaster thought: "People are finished, and people will laugh at me if I don't say it!" " "Come here, grab the reins and swing out with one punch:" Old Taishan, this horse is really good, you ride well! Brother-in-law, that's great. That's such a good compliment, little husband. It's called dog tail and mink hair. I don't want to say a few words, it's itchy and ugly. " "There is nothing wrong! Can't go wrong! Wow, I'll go again. " The second son-in-law said four sentences. What did he say? He said, "My father-in-law got on the saddle bridge, burned goose feathers, and the horse walked eight hundred miles. The goose feathers are not burnt yet. "Hurry up! The old man went again. It's over when it's over! Embarrassed, he stopped the horse and turned around. He saw the silly uncle there: "Uncle, can you say something? "Don't treat him like a fool. Isn't he going to say it, too He came: "What are you talking about? Slip away! " A pull on the reins, a frown, eyes widened, halazi swooped down. Guys, look at this stupid expression! The two men, this hand holding the reins, this hand pressing the horse's hair, so praise. He couldn't think of anything, so he clenched his fist and punched the horse on the cheek. Boom! The horse suddenly broke his leg and almost threw the old man to the ground. The old man said, "What's the matter with you? You have nothing to say. Why did you hit it? "Relatives and friends are watching, everyone is cola, but they dare not be happy. If you are happy, your third aunt will be picky, and if you are unhappy, you will hold it back! Mother-in-law looked at her uncle's silly appearance, unable to be happy, but unable to restrain her joy. It's broken! She farted! Knock on the door. Fart circle. When his uncle turned around, he saw that it was her mother-in-law: "Come on, have something to say! "The old man said," If you have something to say, just say it. " "The father-in-law got on the horse, the mother-in-law farted, the horse walked eight hundred miles, and the anus was not closed." It's faster this way.