Confucius III divorced his wife, and Confucius said, Let's divorce!

Confucius and his wife in the stills of the movie Confucius

In ancient times, divorce between husband and wife was called "divorce", "divorce", "divorce" and so on. It was not until the Jin Dynasty that the word "divorce" began to appear. In fact, no matter what you call it, as a social phenomenon, divorce is inevitable in any era. The "gossip spirit" of ancient people is no less than that of modern times, and many celebrity divorce cases have always attracted much attention.

Kong III got married.

Confucius was the most famous person involved in divorce in ancient China, but the right or wrong of his divorce, whether it is true or not, is still controversial until modern times, and this matter has also become a thousand-year-old case-solving debate between Confucianism and academic circles.

In the book Confucius' Family Language, which records the thoughts and remarks of Confucius and his disciples, it is recorded: "(Confucius) married an official in the Song Dynasty at the age of nineteen and gave birth to Apollo at the age of one." Confucius was a cultural celebrity in Lu at that time. Lu heard that he sent carp to congratulate him. Confucius named his son "Carp", because he was the eldest son, so he also took the word "Apollo". In the Book of Rites Tan Gong, it was recorded that "the mother of Spanish mackerel died", but in the Tang Dynasty, when Confucius annotated this sentence, he said that "the mother of Spanish mackerel came out", which meant that the mother at that time had been divorced by Confucius.

Confucius was the first person to expose Confucius' divorce. The original text of this passage in the Book of Rites Tan Gong annotated by Kong is: "My mother is dead and still crying. When the master heard this, he said, "Who and the Weeping?" Confucius said,' carp is also.' Confucius said,' Hey! "What is this?" "The fish smelled it, and then removed it." According to Kong's explanation, the mother was divorced by Confucius at that time, but within the first anniversary of her death, a son can also mourn for her. He shouldn't cry after the anniversary. Confucius was still crying after hearing his son's condolences, so he accused Kong Li of "even", that is, too much. It can be seen that there is really no feeling between Confucius and his wife.

As for why Confucius divorced, due to the long history, there is no textual research. It is said that Confucius is too talkative. However, Lin Yutang's mind was wide open, and he thought whether Confucius's wife divorced or fled back to her family because she could not stand her husband's harsh demands still needed to be considered. He inferred from Confucius' theory that "everything is perfect and meticulous" that Mrs. Kong can tolerate her husband's "no sauce, no desire, no evil", but one day, she could not buy fresh food, so she had to send her son carp to the store to buy some wine and cooked food, but Confucius said, "There is no food in the preserved wine market." In this case, Lin Yutang said, "What can she do except pack a whole bag and leave home?"

"Confucius' Family Language" said: "Since Shu became a wife, he also became a wife, and Zi Si became a wife, so he was called Kong III as a wife. "If Confucius also has a wife, then' three wives' will evolve into' four wives'. In other words, Confucius, his son (Apollo) and his grandson (Zisi) have all been divorced since his father Shu.

However, there were many people who defended Confucius, because there was no record of Confucius' divorce in Sima Qian's Biography of Historical Records of Confucius, and the credibility of this statement was not high until the Tang Dynasty. Some scholars believe that "mother" in the above historical materials should be interpreted as "biological mother", and Kong Li's biological mother is not necessarily his father's wife, but probably a concubine, so it cannot be said that Confucius is divorced. However, there is no record of Confucius concubinage in historical materials, which is difficult to establish.

Not only Confucius has rumors of divorce, but also Mencius, the Confucian "Asian sage", has a divorce storm. According to Xunzi Jiemu, "Mencius lost and became his wife." So what did Meng's wife do? According to Han Shi Zhuan, one day, Mencius' wife was alone in the house, sitting on the ground to rest. Just then, Mencius suddenly came home and saw his wife sitting on the ground. He said to his mother, "This woman is rude. Please allow me to divorce her." It turned out that Mencius wanted to file for divorce because of his poor posture. "supine", also known as "supine", means sitting on the ground with legs apart, like a figure of eight. Fortunately, Mencius' mother is a reasonable person, quoting the ancient ceremony, "I want to go to court and my voice should be raised;" Remind your son to go to his wife's room without saying hello in advance, that is, "you are rude, not a woman is rude." After hearing this, Mencius blamed himself very much and never dared to mention the divorce with his wife again.

Pears are not easy to steam, scarves are too easy to divorce.

The reason for Mencius' divorce is that he is not sitting properly. Does it make sense? In ancient times, there was a saying that "seven-thirds don't leave" in divorce. The so-called "three don't go and seven don't go" means that the wife has seven bad behaviors, the husband can file for divorce, and there are three other situations that are not allowed to divorce. According to the provisions of the Book of Rites, these seven situations are childless, promiscuous (improper style), not serving aunt (not serving in-laws), gossiping (gossiping), stealing, jealousy and serious illness (suffering from infectious diseases or other serious diseases). In these seven cases, the husband can file for compulsory divorce. The "three don't go" specifically means: "I can't go if I have something to marry", that is, when a woman gets married, she has her family to follow, but when she divorces her wife, there are no reliable relatives at home. In this case, she can't divorce her wife; "Three years of mourning, not going", the woman and her husband mourned for their in-laws for three years. In this case, the wife has done her best to be a daughter-in-law and can't give up; "Don't go before you are poor and after you are rich." When you get married, you are poor. After you get married, you become rich. According to the requirements of etiquette system, husband and wife should be one. Marry them when you are poor and abandon them when you are rich. This is not desirable, so you can't divorce your wife.

Because of the indecent sitting posture, preparing for divorce can be classified as "fornication." This reason is not particularly wonderful. In fact, there were many wonderful reasons for divorce in ancient times. Ceng Zi, a disciple of Confucius, divorced because his wife didn't have steamed pears. His wife asked, "There are seven women, so what if they don't steam?" Which of the seven divorce rules is not steamed pear? Ceng Zi's answer is: not ripe yet, why not? Anyway, the unripe pear means divorce. There is no reason. Wu Qi, a student from Ceng Zi, went further. Once, he handed his wife a ribbon and asked her to knit another one. Wuqi's wife strives for perfection and weaves better ribbons than before. However, Wu Qi divorced her because she didn't knit it completely according to the requirements.

The divorce between Qi Huangong and Cai Ji, one of the five tyrants in the Spring and Autumn Period, is more like a child's play. Cai Jigui, the princess of Cai, was married as a gift by her younger brother Cai Muhou. At that time, Cai Ji was only a teenage girl. Judging from her age, Qi Huangong may be her father. At first, Qi Huangong liked this lively and lovely little girl very much, but once, when she and Qi Huangong went boating, she played with water, not only splashing it on Qi Huangong, but also rocking the boat. Uncle was frightened and shouted, "Stop shaking, stop shaking." Perhaps it was funny that Qi Huangong was frightened, and Cai Qi went on to say: As a result, Qi Huangong was furious and sent Chua Ji away the next day and sent her back to Cai Guo.

After Cai Ji was sent back to Cai Guo, Cai Muhou was very angry, so she married Cai Ji to the king of Chu. King Chucheng loves Cai Ji and marries her. Qi Huangong may just want to teach Cai Qi a lesson, but he doesn't really want a divorce. As a result, he heard that Cai Ji had married someone else. He was very angry and decided to crusade against Cai Guo and Chu. Cai Guo is a weak country, but the strength of Chu is not weak. When the Qi army was in Enemy at the Gates, Chu asked why you hit me. Qi Huangong was embarrassed to tell the real reason, so he sent Guan Zhong to fight Qu Wan sent by Chu. Finally, because Qi had no evidence to argue, he felt that "the teacher was unknown" and the class teacher returned to the DPRK.

When Bai Juyi was an official, he once sentenced a wonderful divorce case. According to Bai Juyi's collection, when a wife was delivering rice to her husband who was farming in the field, she met her hungry father on the road and gave her rice to her father. The husband was hungry and angry in the field and insisted on divorcing his wife, but the wife refused to accept it, so she complained to the government. Bai Juyi said in the verdict: "According to women's moral standards, a wife should be obedient to her husband, but it is only natural to repay her father's kindness. Therefore, the meal should be given to the father first, and the husband should follow. Because filial piety is more important to the husband, the husband must not divorce his wife. "

Dismantle the "bad karma mandarin duck"

Although the above reasons are wonderful, they are still my own decisions. However, marriage is sometimes not just a matter for two people. For example, in ancient times, marriage was mostly "the words of parents and matchmakers". If parents don't like this daughter-in-law, the couple may also be forced to divorce. The harmony in Peacock Flying Southeast, which we are familiar with, is profound, while Liu himself, a crow in a loom, is restless every night, but he is forced to divorce because he can't get her mother-in-law's love.

Among the historical celebrities, Lu You and his wife are a pair of "bad karma mandarin ducks" separated by their parents. Lu You's original match was his cousin Tang Wan, who studied poetry since childhood and was smart and beautiful. She married Lu You, a childhood friend. However, Liu Mu didn't like this daughter-in-law, so he forced Lu You to write a certificate of divorce and married the king according to his mother's instructions. Tang Wan was also decided by her family to marry Zhao Shicheng, a descendant of the royal family. A few years later, Lu and Tang met in the deep garden (now Shaoxing, Zhejiang), and both of them were very sad. Lu You wrote the famous "Hairpin Phoenix" on the wall:

Red crisp hands, yellow wine, mancheng spring willow. The east wind is evil, and the feelings are thin. A sad mood, a cable that I haven't seen for years. No, no, no!

Spring is the same, people are empty, and tears are red and sad. Peach blossom falls, idle pool pavilion, although the mountain alliance is there, it is difficult to hold books. Mo, Mo, Mo!

Tang Wan later wrote a "Hairpin Phoenix":

The world is thin and evil, and it is easy to rain and send flowers at dusk. The breeze is dry, the tears are gone, and I want to worry about it. Difficult, difficult, difficult.

People are different, today is not what it used to be, and the sick soul is like a thousand miles. The horn sounded cold and the night was hazy. I was afraid of being asked, so I cried and pretended to be happy. Hide, hide, hide.

Soon, Tang Wan died of depression and resentment. In his later years, Lu You visited Tang Wan in Shenyuan every spring, and everywhere he went, he sent his feelings with poems or words.

Wang Xianzhi is the youngest son of Wang Xizhi, a famous calligrapher in the Eastern Jin Dynasty. His calligraphy is "the master of many families, the beauty of many bodies". Later generations called him and his father "two kings of calligraphy", but his divorce was a tragedy. Wang Xianzhi turned out to be Xi's hypocritical cousin. They were childhood friends and gradually became attached for a long time. Both parents also filmed, which made their marriage. But later, Sima Daofu, the younger sister of Emperor Xiaowu of Jin Dynasty, took a fancy to Wang Xianzhi, who was versatile and charming, and begged his brother Xiaowu to make decisions for her and betrothed her to Wang Xianzhi. The emperor went to Wang Xianzhi to discuss this matter. According to historical records, Wang Xianzhi's "moxibustion is enough to violate the imperial edict", that is, to resist by self-mutilation, but it is difficult to violate the imperial edict. Finally, he wrote a divorce certificate and swept his wife out of the house. Wang Xianzhi, who married Princess Xin 'an, rose naturally in her official career and later became an official. However, behind the surface scenery, his debt to his ex-wife cannot be concealed. When he was seriously ill in his later years, a Taoist priest came to his house and did something for him. The Taoist priest asked him where he was wrong. Wang Xianzhi said, "I don't feel anything else, but I remember divorcing Xi's family."

Different from the weakness of Jiao Zhongqing and Lu You, some women in history are more admirable. Wang Mang's daughter is the queen of Emperor Han Ping. After Emperor Hanping 14 was poisoned by Wang Mang, Wang Mang usurped the throne and established a new dynasty, so Queen Hanping became the Queen Mother of Ding 'an. At that time, the "Queen Mother" was less than 20 years old. Wang Mang wanted his daughter to break off relations with the royal family of the Han Dynasty, and "Nai Geng called Huang Yu Zhu" and found her a new son-in-law. However, Wang Mang's daughter resolutely refused, so Wang Mang had to give up. Similarly, Yang Lihua, the eldest daughter of Emperor Wendi of Sui Dynasty, was the queen of Emperor Tianyuan of Northern Zhou Dynasty. After Emperor Wen captured the Northern Zhou Dynasty, he was renamed Princess Leping. Wendi "wanted to seize her ambition" and asked her to remarry, but "the princess vowed not to do it" and her father stopped interfering.

Women are not always a vulnerable group.

In ancient times, many women divorced voluntarily. According to the biography of Zhu Han Maichen, Zhu Maichen liked reading since he was a child, but after many years of marriage, his family was still very poor, and his wife made a living by chopping wood. His wife couldn't bear it and asked for a divorce, so he had to agree. Soon, she married someone else. After Zhu Maichen finally made his fortune, when he came home in rags, he saw his ex-wife and her husband in the crowd cleaning the road for him as the district head in his hometown, so he ordered them to get on the bus, go to his official residence with him and settle them in his official residence. Soon, his ex-wife was ashamed and hanged herself.

In this story, although women take the initiative, they still feel that they are victims. In fact, in the Han Dynasty, women were far less discriminated against after divorce than we thought. For example, the wife of Chen Ping, the founding minister of the early Han Dynasty, got married five times before marrying Chen Ping, but Chen Ping didn't seem to care about these. Wei Zifu, the mother of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, also had many marriages. Others, such as Princess Pingyang, the sister of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, first married Hou Cao of Pingyang, and then married General Wei Qing after Cao's death; Princess Jason Wu, the daughter of Emperor Gaozu Xuan Di, first married Fuping Hou Zhanglin, then Linping Hou Qinzhao, and then married Levin Hou Xue Jue. Among these divorced and remarried people, the most outstanding one is a woman named Wang Yi.

Wang Yi is awesome because she has a strict mother. Her mother Zanger was the granddaughter of Zang Tea in Rebecca at the end of Qin Dynasty. Although he was an official for three generations, he was already in decline at that time. When her daughter reached the age of logistics, she married a commoner named Wangsun Jin and soon gave birth to a daughter. The young couple had a good life, but one day Lu Yu, a fortune teller, said that your daughter's future is expensive. Zange gloated after hearing this, forced his daughter to divorce Wangsun Jin and put her under house arrest. At this time, it happened that Prince Liu Qi Palace was recruiting people, and Zanger bought off the relationship and sent his daughter in. Wang Hao, who has been a good wife and mother, actually won the favor of Liu Qi in the palace. Soon after, Liu Qi was made a prince and inherited the throne, that is, Han Jing. Wang Hao also lived up to expectations and gave birth to three women, one man and four children for Liu Qi. In this way, a divorced civilian woman actually remarried to the emperor, which is enough "inspirational", but it is not enough. Another child of Wang Yisheng became an emperor-the famous Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty.

Li Qingzhao, a famous poet in the Song Dynasty, also filed for divorce. After Zhao Mingcheng's death, Li Qingzhao remarried Zhang Ruzhou. After the marriage, Li Qingzhao discovered that Zhang Ruzhou was just trying to defraud his own money. Zhang Ruzhou also found that the treasures kept by Li Qingzhao were not as rich as he thought, and he regretted it. The relationship between the two is getting colder and colder, and Zhang Ruzhou often has domestic violence. When Li Qingzhao discovered that Zhang Ruzhou's official position was obtained by taking bribes, she denounced it and filed for divorce. According to the law of the Song Dynasty, a wife suing her husband, though true, was sentenced to two years' imprisonment. But Li Qingzhao would rather go to jail than go to court to report it. As a result, Zhang Ruzhou and Li Qingzhao divorced successfully and Zhang Ruzhou was also dismissed. Li Qingzhao was also imprisoned, but under the care of local officials, Li Qingzhao was released without charge after only nine days in prison.