Marriage custom of Naxi nationality in Lijiang dam area

In the past, due to the deepening influence of Han culture in the first year of Yongzheng in 1723, the Naxi people in Lijiang dam area always practiced monogamy, and their parents arranged marriages. The marriage of children is decided by parents, arranged by matchmakers, and the marriage of cattle, sheep, pigs and wine. Marriage pays attention to the traditional ethics of the Han nationality, such as being opposite to the family, obeying three virtues, and singing with the woman. There are many marriages between Naxi people in Lijiang and Han and Tibetan people. Within a nation, people with the same surname and different clans can marry, but it is absolutely forbidden for people of the same family to marry. Marriage should go through betrothal, wine invitation, wedding and other procedures:

Engagement is called "Japanese clam" in Naxi language, which means "sending two people away". The boy grew up to five years old. When he was six years old, his parents paid attention to finding him a daughter-in-law, asking a fortune teller or father Dongba to arrange birthdates for him, or burning incense in the temple for a visa. If the girl's birth date coincides with her son's, parents will ask the matchmaker to bring a pot of wine to the woman's house to speak for her son. If the woman's parents agree, the wedding will be held when the girl is about ten years old. When engaged, the man must give the woman a gift, and call it "Little Wine" for the first time. The man gave the woman two liters of white rice (about 20 kg), an altar of wine (about 5 kg), two to four boxes of brown sugar and two packs of tea. Among them, sugar, tea and wine are essential gifts, and the number of other gifts depends on the wealth of the man. After drinking a little wine, either party can go back on their word if they think marriage is inappropriate. If the woman wants to break off her marriage, she must return all the money she received to the man's home; if the man wants to break the contract, she can inform her of the decision.

After drinking a little wine for about a year, the man's family gave the woman a second gift, called "drinking too much." In addition to giving a little wine, you should also give a piece of cloth (about 7 feet), two clothes, a pair of jade bracelets or silver bracelets, 30 kilograms of pork, some cash, etc. Will be sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker and the man's relatives and friends. The woman gave a banquet to treat each other, and the guests drank the wine sent by the man's family, praised the wine for being delicious and sweet, and congratulated the two families on their marriage. After the banquet, the woman sent a pot of wine and two boxes of brown sugar or some rough hands to the man. The man will then offer the wine sent back by the woman to his ancestors and entertain relatives and friends. After the "big wine", the two sides can no longer go back on their words and get married.

On the second day after the "Dajiu" was delivered, the closest relatives of the male family went to the female family to visit their relatives. After that, the two families began to exchange visits. From marriage to marriage, every year on Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and winter solstice, the man asks the matchmaker to send a plate of rice (about 5 kg) to the woman's house. Two packs of tea and two boxes of brown sugar. In some places, when the harvest is busy, the man asks his unmarried daughter-in-law to help him cut wheat for a day and give her one or two loads of high-quality wheat as her "private money". Every Spring Festival, unmarried men and women each find a companion and accompany them to each other's home to pay New Year greetings. When something happens at home, it is convenient for both parties to help, but unmarried couples can't talk and contact, and they must strictly abide by traditional ethics.

Men and women are about twenty years old, so choose an auspicious day to get married. Naxi language is called "first beauty", which means "getting married". The wedding is organized by the capable elders of the groom's family and assigned to the same family. A few days before the wedding, tents will be set up in the yard of the groom's house, and archways will be tied up in the gate and yard. Rich people also hang palace lanterns, calligraphy and painting, and decorate lanterns and decorations everywhere. Above the doorframe of the bridal chamber, there is a sieve made of red paper with three arrows made of willow leaves or peach blossoms. The word "Kirin is here" is written on the red paper to exorcise evil spirits and pray.

On the first day of the formal wedding, the matchmaker leads the relatives and friends of the man's family and the trumpeter, carrying wedding clothes, cloth, wine, meat, rice, sugar, tea, moon cakes and acetylene bait (rice or glutinous rice is steamed and pressed into the wooden mold), and then adds 30 to 50 yuan (the past value) to the woman's family. It was very lively all the way. The bride price of the man's family was put on the table of the Eight Immortals in the yard by the woman's family, and a simple ceremony of collecting money was held. The giver comes back after drinking tea or having a light meal at the woman's house. That night, the man put candy, candied fruit, wine and tea in the yard to entertain young people in Tongfu and neighboring villages. Young men and women sang wedding songs, danced, guessed fists and celebrated with smiles. The woman's family also entertained young men and women in the village, singing and dancing the ancient song "Marry a Woman". Young people look forward to a happy life in the future and dance until late at night. The groom and a little boy or friend of both parents share a new house, commonly known as "pressing the bed". It symbolizes that the groom will be like a friend's house in the future, with children and grandchildren all over the house and many photos of the whole family.

The next day, a formal wedding ceremony was held to entertain guests and friends, also known as "holding big wine". Early in the morning, matchmakers, trumpeters, relatives and friends of the man's family came to the woman's house to welcome the bride with the clothes that the bride needed to wear at the wedding. The bride puts on the new clothes sent by the man's family, a red coat, initials and flowers on her head, and a red handkerchief on her head. When she paid homage to her ancestors and bid farewell to her parents and relatives, she cried, expressing her reluctance to leave them. Whether the bride takes a sedan chair or walks depends on the economic conditions and distance of the man's family. However, she must go to the man's house accompanied by her elders, brothers, sisters and female companions. Generally, there are two big wooden cabinets, a pair of boxes, two to four beds of bedding, several sets of clothes, one or twenty pairs of embroidered shoes, utensils, copper pots, copper pots, copper plates, copper spoons, copper locks, copper barrels, and daily necessities such as toiletries.

The groom greeted the bride in front of the door in a gown, jacket and hat (some went to the woman's house to meet the bride in person). As soon as the bride arrived, the groom stepped forward to lift the curtain of the sedan chair, helped the bride out of the sedan chair, and then bent down to thank the people who saw her off. When the bride enters the door, she must cross the "saddle" in the middle of the threshold (wrapped in red paper and pasted on the door), which means that if she crosses the "saddle", she is a member of the male family. The bride and xinliang. Before entering the bridal chamber, the groom should put on new shoes immediately, with red silk thread attached to them, indicating that they will never part again, and then go out to welcome guests. The bride took off her red coat in the room and dressed herself up again. After a while, friends crowded the bride and groom into the main room and held a "ceremony to divide the size", that is, to thank the groom's elders according to their parents and relatives, and finally to pay their respects.

After the ceremony, according to the traditional custom, the male and female guests were seated separately? In the male guest table, the bride's brother or nephew is honored as the guest of honor, sitting in the chief and female guest table, and the bride's mother and accompanying daughter are most respected: the rest of the guests are seated according to their seniority. There should be at least six plates and six bowls at the wedding banquet. The groom will propose a toast to the male guest table, and the bride will go to the female guest table to propose a toast. Friends and relatives will drink heartily and wish the couple a long life together. In the evening, young people sang wedding songs, happy songs and happy tunes around the bonfire, and some stayed up all night. The host entertained the guests with wine, tea, fruit and candy, and the bride and groom also came out to propose a toast. The higher the guest's interest, the more glorious and auspicious the host feels. After the bride and groom get married, there is a custom of getting married in some places.

On the third day, the couple returned home and were hosted by the woman's family. After breakfast, the dressed bride and groom, accompanied by male and female companions and relatives, visit relatives at the woman's house and bring tea, sugar, meat, bait and other gifts; When she approached her parents' home, the bride burst into tears, expressing her desire to see her parents and brothers and sisters. After arriving at the bride's home, the couple first worships their ancestors, then their parents and elders, and finally propose a toast to the guests: the groom kowtows three times and the bride kowtows four times and eight times. The guests raised their glasses and gave the bride some gifts. Young men and women go to the special table where the groom and boyfriend sit to propose a toast and tease them at the same time, such as giving them a big bowl of Weifang root long fans; String pieces of meat together with ponytail hair or hair, pile rice full and sharp, and so on. That night, the couple had to return and could not stay at the woman's house. The woman's family will give back some gifts such as wine and sugar to her daughter-in-law

On the fourth day, if the bride and groom are close to Old Town of Lijiang, they will visit the streets of Old Town of Lijiang together and distribute wedding candy to relatives and friends in Lu Yu. On the fifth day, the bride went back to her parents' home alone to accompany her mother. Sisters and girlfriends chat. Her parents taught her the rules and manners of life again. But the bride must go back to her husband's house that night.

In terms of marriage, Naxi people in Lijiang dam area are popular with aunts, uncles and cousins (called "Abe Mei" in Naxi dialect, which means "uncle can strongly recognize his aunt's daughter as his wife"). According to traditional customs, uncle's sons have the priority to marry cousins, even if they are fools, they have no right to refuse to marry. My uncle only allows my niece to marry an outsider when she is ill or has a personality incompatible with her son.