"I am destined to be single in the first half of my life, and I will get used to it in the second half." Ask the name of Cao Yunjin crosstalk.

It's Cao Yunjin Liu Yuntian's cross talk "I want to fall in love"

Crosstalk "I want to fall in love" is very funny: Cao Yunjin, and Liu Yuntian.

With lines:

Bai: Leaders, employees on site, friends who are not on site!

H: Good afternoon, everyone!

Bai: I am very excited to stand on the stage of the 20 13 Spring Festival Evening of the coal processing company.

Zhou: Yes.

Bai: Maybe some people in the audience know us and some don't.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: Let's introduce ourselves first.

Zhou: OK.

Bai: My name is XXX, and I often host programs at company events. It can be said that crosstalk is the first time, please forgive me! This is my partner next to me

Zhou: Work together.

Bai: Teacher XXX.

Zhou: Not a teacher.

Bai: Many colleagues know you and like your performance.

Zhou: Well, the popularity is not bad.

Bai: You are really a good friend of mankind.

Zhou: yeah ... hey ~ hi! You sound more like you.

Bai: It is well known.

Zhou: Not so good.

Bai: In the jargon of entertainment circle, stars are called wrists.

Zhou: It is said that.

Bai: You really have a wrist!

Zhou: I'm flattered!

Bai: You really have a wrist! Wrist! Low bark ...

Zhou: er ~ stop, stop, stop ... are you flattering me?

Bai: High reputation!

Zhou: Generally speaking.

Bai: We are partners on the stage and good friends off the stage!

Zhou: Good relationship.

Bai: I can't describe how good it is.

Zhou: Great.

Bai: Seriously, this is my biological friend, (because of our feelings, that's ...)

Zhou: Hey, wait a minute. Does anyone talk like that?

Bai: We have a good relationship.

Zhou: Then say you have feelings.

Bai: So we know each other very well.

Zhou: Of course.

Bai: XXX has a happy life.

Zhou: Generally speaking.

Bai: I am not as good as him.

Zhou: Really?

Bai: He is married. He married a fat wife. She looks beautiful and human! sound of crying or vomiting

Zhou: Hey, what do you mean like a person?

Bai: It's like a spirit.

Zhou: Oh.

Bai: Immortals are similar to immortals.

Zhou: You have to make it clear.

Bai: Very beautiful.

Zhou: Not bad.

Bai: You told me that this is your lifelong dream, and you just want to marry this girl.

Zhou: Why?

Bai: Why do you think? He said I like this kind of girl with oval face and big eyes.

Zhou: It looks good.

Bai: I finally understand. I married a man with a big face!

Zhou: Hello! What is it like? this is

Bai: If you live happily, you will be happy. Show off in front of us every day, show off happiness and bask in sweetness.

Zhou: Hey.

Bai: What is it called?

Zhou: Huh?

Bai: People with gold watches love to clap their legs, while people with gold teeth love to grin!

Zhou: Hello! I tell you, we are not showing off, we really love each other!

Bai: I am very happy anyway.

Zhou: Not bad.

Bai: I can't compare with him. Love life has not been smooth, and I can't get a girlfriend. My love life is like a history of blood and tears.

Zhou: How do you explain this?

Bai: There is blood, tears and history.

Zhou: Hey! All right! You scared me!

Bai: I have never been able to get a girlfriend.

Zhou: What are you afraid of?

Bai: I'm bored.

Zhou: Don't bother. You can fall in love.

Bai: Falling in love is not successful.

Zhou: No, it isn't. What are your requirements and criteria for finding a girlfriend?

Bai: I was not qualified at that time.

Zhou: You should also talk about it.

Bai: I want to find someone who is healthy, has a wide range of hobbies, can chat with me and knows how to hurt people. It is best to be beautiful and look like a drowned rat. More fragrant than flowers and more fragrant than jade. The long one is hooked and lost.

Zhou: What adjectives are these? this is

Bai: You said my qualifications were not high, right?

Zhou: Is it high? You are too picky.

Bai: Do you want me to lower it? I'm looking for a healthy person.

Zhou: Ah, this is very important.

Bai: I really got to know someone who loves sports.

Zhou: Yes, good.

Bai: I like sports, too

Zhou: Really?

Bai: But we can't play this sport together.

Zhou: Yo, what's going on?

Bai: I can't come because of his internal sports.

Zhou: What does she like?

Bai: He likes swimming!

Zhou: Why can't you come swimming?

Bai: I can't swim. I can't swim since I was a child. I am afraid of water. I tremble at the sight of water!

Zhou: Yo, are you rabies?

Bai: You are rabies!

Zhou: No, aren't you afraid of water?

Bai: I can't swim. Besides, I don't even have swimming trunks.

Zhou: Oh, swimming trunks are easy to hold. Can buy!

Bai: Buy one?

Zhou: buy!

Bai: I am throwing caution to the wind! Buy a pair of swimming trunks for love!

Zhou: I spent money.

Bai: I think there are some inferior red swimming trunks on the street! Wow, this thing is really cheap, three yuan a truck.

Zhou: I will go.

Bai: One! This red bathing suit is very lucky ~

Zhou: Well, that's true.

Bai: I'll travel after I buy it ~ where can I see it! (clapping) It's broken.

Zhou: What's wrong?

Bai: Not swimming.

Zhou: Then why?

Bai: Hot springs!

Zhou: It's better to soak in hot springs.

Bai: Hot springs are good! But he is different from swimming!

Zhou: What's the difference?

Bai: Swimming is cold, and hot springs are hot water!

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: My inferior red swimming trunks! This time, he will fade! A pool of red soup!

Zhou: Oh, my God.

Bai: My girlfriend is stupid!

Zhou: Yes.

Bai: I said, do you bleed a lot?

Zhou: Oh ~ (shaking hands) Ouch, hehe.

Bai: People think I am unhealthy ~

Zhou: What is it called?

Bai: Do you think it's okay not to break up?

Zhou: Hey, I scored.

Bai: I'll change it. I'll find another one!

Zhou: Oh, a new girlfriend.

Bai: I want to find someone with a wide range of hobbies and someone to introduce me to!

Zhou: Did the introduction succeed?

Bai: I really found it!

Zhou: I found it!

Bai: I have a wide range of hobbies and I am proficient in piano, chess, painting and calligraphy.

Zhou: Well, that's all right.

Bai: Say it again! The biggest hobby! Love to drink!

Zhou: Oh ~

Bai: The girl proposed it.

Zhou: What do you propose?

Bai: Say my boyfriend can definitely drink with me!

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: I can drink it as soon as I think of it!

Zhou: Are you all right?

Bai: But we have to ask.

Zhou: Ask what?

Bai: Ask people how much they can drink.

Zhou: Oh ~

Bai: I can't drink it in the future!

Zhou: OK, I see.

Bai: Yes! I said girl, how much can you, you, you drink?

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: This girl is very shy.

Zhou: Yes.

Bai: (twisting his waist and gesturing "1") gave me a finger.

Zhou: Oh.

Bai: One-on-one, fighting and drinking at most! Drinking at 8 pm and 2: 30 pm.

Zhou: Wow.

Bai: I vomited 14 times.

Zhou: ouch

Bai: I vomited, washed and swallowed it back.

Zhou: Hehe.

Bai: It hurts me! I really can't accompany you. You drink too much.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: I went to see him. I said, girl, you are drunk, and I really can't accompany you. I want to ask you what this "1" (gesture) means.

Zhou: Huh?

Bai: You can have a drink.

Zhou: This? "1" (gesture)

Bai: No! Can you, uh, have a bottle?

Zhou: Um "1" (gesture)

Bai: No, can you have a case? Don't! So what exactly does this "1" mean?

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: All the time.

Zhou: Wow!

Bai: Can you say it earlier next time? Huh? You're here to kill people?

Zhou: Hey, hehe.

Bai: Later, I saved my life! I'd better separate from her!

Zhou: Wow ~ OK! Listen, you've seen this guy!

Bai: I'll find another one!

Zhou: Oh, it has changed again!

Bai: I want to find someone who can chat with me.

Zhou: Oh, say something.

Bai: Clever as a spring! This is my standard.

Zhou: OK!

Bai: Someone really introduced me to one.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: Girls love to talk.

Zhou: OK, we can talk!

Bai: But it's too much trouble.

Zhou: What's wrong?

Bai: What a talker! This mouth never stops all day! Say, say, scratch, scratch, and keep talking to me here.

Zhou: Really?

Bai: And always scratching the sky. ...

Zhou: Hey ~

Bai: Tell me endlessly here.

Zhou: Hehe.

Bai: I fell asleep at night and talked in my sleep with this! Grab, grab, grab ... number one, number two, load the station ... grab, grab, grab.

Zhou: This business is quite skilled.

Bai: I love my job!

Zhou: Yes.

Bai: Scratch, scratch, scratch. I'm tired of it.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: Oh dear! How can you have a chance to stop for two days! ?

Zhou: Oh, let's have a rest for two days.

Bai: I finally have a chance.

Zhou: What chance?

Bai: Isn't this a tour organized by the company, going to the seaside for a holiday?

Zhou: Really!

Bai: I said, can you hurry! Go and play.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: A week later, I flew back and looked at it. Wow!

Zhou: Huh?

Bai: This mouth is not idle at the seaside!

Zhou: Why?

Bai: My teeth are tanned! Grab, grab, grab.

Zhou: ouch!

Bai: Too talkative? I'm not idle at the seaside either!

Zhou: There is no such thing!

Bai: I have to be quiet!

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: I have to change another type.

Zhou: Well, it's not appropriate either.

Bai: Later, I asked someone to introduce me.

Zhou: Oh, I found another one.

Bai: I was introduced to someone who knows how to hurt others.

Zhou: Well, that's good.

Bai: This is the most important thing for two people to be together.

Zhou: Well, the most basic.

Bai: Women know how to love their men.

Zhou: That's what I like.

Bai: Hey! Especially good for me.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: I know I'm tired from work and I write late every day.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: In order to let me have a good breakfast, you come to my house to make breakfast for me every morning.

Zhou: Hey!

Bai: Boil white rice porridge for me.

Zhou: Yes.

Bai: All kinds of pickles.

Zhou: so detailed ~

Bai: How about boiled eggs and boiled rice porridge?

Zhou: OK, OK, OK!

Bai: Good is good, but you have a big temper!

Zhou: What are you afraid of?

Bai: If you don't get up twice! This big pot of hot porridge will splash on you!

Zhou: wow ~! (avoid)

Bai: I will burn you to death! Drink or not! Huh?

Zhou: Wow! This is too violent. This is also

Bai: I endure it at home and I endure it outside! Too grumpy!

Zhou: What's going on outside?

Bai: if you don't deal with two words, you will hit people in turn!

Zhou: Oh, that's a bad idea!

Bai: Where did you shop in Wangfujing that day?

Zhou: Ah!

Bai: Wangfujing! How many people!

Zhou: That's right!

Bai: I'm in a hurry because of a little thing! When the wheel is round, it is a big mouth! Hit me three times and ask! Did you hit me?

Zhou: Oh, that's not light! I'm stupid.

Bai: I am in my eyes! Business gathering area, crowded with people! Come and see that! I'm at least a man!

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: I also have face! I have to turn around and save face! I have a temper too!

Zhou: Exactly.

Bai: I was in a hurry! "Are you crazy? You are sick! ? Ah! ? Try hitting me again? " Without further ado, the wheel is round and has a big mouth.

Zhou: Hey!

Bai: Guess what we said?

Zhou: What did you say?

Bai: Since you are so obedient, I will spare you!

Zhou: Hello!

Bai: We must come back to save face!

Zhou: Come on, you're humiliated!

Bai: Why can't I get a girlfriend? I have good conditions! They all praised me for my four advantages! Good people, sweet mouth, long spirit!

Zhou: Hey, you're still fresh!

Bai: I have four advantages. Why can't I get a girlfriend?

Zhou: (shaking his head)

Bai: I was particularly unhappy at that time! I think I am the most painful person in the world!

Zhou: Really?

Bai: Medicine classifies pain as 12! The most primary pain, bitten by a mosquito (stroke)!

Zhou: Oh.

Bai: 12 pain is what women suffer when they give birth to children!

Zhou: That's it.

Bai: I think I had reached the pain level of 13!

Zhou: What's that?

Bai: I was bitten by a mosquito during childbirth!

Zhou: Hello! That sounds really hurtful!

Bai: Why can't I get a girlfriend? ?

Zhou: Right, right, right.

Bai: Then I thought it over and over again.

Zhou: Ah.

Bai: I think it's because my life is not very good.

Zhou: This has nothing to do with life.

Bai: It must have something to do with it! So I found a master to do the math for me!

Zhou: Fortune telling? That's called feudal superstition. You can't believe it, okay?

Bai: Don't talk nonsense here if you don't understand! The expert found the problem as soon as he calculated it!

Zhou: What's the problem?

Bai: When the master finished the calculation, he said to me, "Young man! Your life is not good! You belong to the five elements, lacking five elements! "

Zhou: Please wait a moment! What do you mean, five elements are lacking!

Bai: The five elements are fire, water and earth! Everyone lacks something different! I lack all five elements!

Zhou: Wow!

Bai: This is why the five elements are missing!

Zhou: Then how short you are! ?

Bai: Then what should I do? Give me a hand! Do I really have no beloved woman to accompany me in my life?

Zhou: Hmm!

Bai: The master said to me, "Don't get excited, young man! Young man, I look at your face! There are no women in the first half of my life. "

Zhou: ouch!

Bai: What about the rest of my life?

Zhou: Exactly! ?

Bai: "Get used to it for the rest of your life!" "

Zhou: Ah! ? What a master! This is!

Bai: I came to ask you for help, not because I came!

Zhou: Hehehe.

Bai: You have to give me an idea and see how to crack it!

Zhou: Right.

Bai: You can't crack it! But I can teach you how to chase girls! There are two main points: one is bold, and the other is cautious! I'm here to send you two words!

Zhou: What did you say?

Bai: A tree will die without its skin, and people are shameless and invincible!

Zhou: Hello! What an unlucky master!

Bai: Master has a point!

Zhou: Come on, don't be crazy with him, you know! Can't be choosy! People like you will never get a girlfriend!

Bai: That's your idea! You think I can't find a girlfriend! Later, I found one and got a girlfriend!

Zhou: Just like you!

Bai: I didn't like me at first. People think I am ugly!

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: But I can explain! I am ugly, but I am not beautiful!

Zhou: Hey! This is not the same meaning!

Bai: No, I am ugly, but I am gentle and humorous! Besides, there is an old saying that men are not bad and women don't love them, right? You just like such a long, bad man!

Zhou: Oh ~ ~

Bai: Yes, I like this long and bad man, but I don't like bad men!

Zhou: Ha ha ha, that's right.

Bai: It doesn't matter if you don't like me! I can launch a fierce offensive! Tell jokes, go shopping, eat and watch movies!

Zhou: OK, attack!

Bai: Nothing. I will tell her jokes!

Zhou: Are you kidding?

Bai: I just heard one the other day!

Zhou: Tell us about it.

Bai: Suppose you have a second uncle.

Zhou: Yeah.

White: Old people are hard of hearing.

Zhou: That's what happens when people get old.

Bai: He also has a fourth uncle who is hard of hearing.

Zhou: Why didn't I know? are all

Bai: That day, his second uncle went fishing with a small bucket and a fishing rod.

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: His fourth uncle saw it from a distance and asked, "Second brother, are you going fishing?"

Zhou: What did my second uncle say?

Bai: "No! I'm going fishing! "

Zhou: Huh? This is not just a back!

Bai: The most interesting thing is what your fourth uncle said?

Zhou: What did you say?

Bai: "Ah, I thought you were going fishing."

Zhou: Hey! All right!

Bai: Nothing. Take her out to dinner! Eat what is delicious!

Zhou: What do you all eat?

Bai: You haven't eaten yet! Western food! Thin rice! Not at all!

Zhou: Yo! I went here to drink porridge!

Bai: Western food, serious western food, hamburger fries, that's not western food!

Zhou: Oh! That doesn't even count!

Bai: That's called Germany and France! We eat steak everywhere! Steak. Have you ever eaten steak? Have you ever seen steak? Steak! Our cows are crawling on the ground!

Zhou: Hey, hey, hey, the cow didn't stand up!

Bai: You can't even order! Take the menu, all in English! Take the menu and order! "Waiter, come here!"

Zhou: Yeah.

Bai: Waiter, come here and bow and scrape! "What would you like to eat, sir?" -"black pepper steak ~ rice!"

Zhou: Huh? Gaimi?

Bai: Italian crossing the bridge noodles! /kloc-sesame cake in 0/2 village!

Zhou: ouch! How did you serve it?

Bai: Eat a green spoon and a red spoon when you come up!

Zhou: Still fast food!

Bai: OK, I'll treat him to dinner! Have a drink! "What would you like to drink, sir?" -"red wine! It must be red wine! It must be OHYE! "

Zhou: What a mess! This is!

Bai: "What brand do you drink?" -"Raphael! You must fly! " "Do you want a' 72 or an' 82?" -"Cut the crap and give me a bottle of this year!"

Zhou: Huh? You know nothing here!

Bai: Fool me with an expired bottle! Under my fierce offensive! This girl likes me.

Zhou: Not bad.

Bai: We are getting married.

Zhou: I believe in love again

Bai: We are getting married.

Zhou: Congratulations!

Bai: I am also worried about this marriage!

Zhou: What are you worried about?

Bai: It is popular to go abroad for honeymoon in this marriage.

Zhou: OK, good.

Bai: I am alive and well! As everyone knows, I am not willing to spend money!

Zhou: Yes.

Bai: What can I do? Hey, I have an idea!

Zhou: What idea?

Bai: I think all TV stations have marriage columns. As long as the male and female guests hold hands successfully, they will win the tourism award!

Zhou: Right, right, right.

Bai: I'll discuss it with my girlfriend! Break up decisively and sign up separately! Something happened.

Zhou: What's wrong?

Bai: She missed the first issue before me and went on a trip with someone else!

Zhou: See if you can dig this time!

(Bowing his head)

Thank you. I hope so.