How to be the architect of your own destiny?

There is a saying that everyone is the architect of his own destiny.

This sentence has been mentioned so much that everyone is numb and can't appreciate its importance. In fact, the more things respected by generations, the more important they are. For example, ginseng and ganoderma lucidum have been revered as sacred products for thousands of years and are still rare supplements. On the other hand, in recent years, some new tonics and tonics that have been vigorously promoted by the society have also been popular for a while, but how many can persist for four or five years? Therefore, everything that is excellent must be something that has been tested and recognized by generations. So I don't pursue fashion, and I always like to find out its practical significance from the ancient and ordinary truth. Ancient and ordinary, although it means simplicity, is often the most important truth in life.

Remember to visit a relative who works in Shenzhen. When they chatted, he was filled with emotion: "Every time I listen to Pan Meichen's Want to Have a Home, I burst into tears. I want to get married and live a stable life like a normal person, but I am in my thirties and still have to wander in a foreign land. I don't want to start a business, and my desire to get married can't be realized. "

I laughed at him for being a marriage maniac. In fact, the requirement of starting a family is not high for the average person, but it is very difficult for him. He is a white-collar worker with a monthly income of about 3,000 yuan, which is a high income in the Mainland. However, due to the high consumption and colorful life of young people in Shenzhen, this income can only be basically enough, and it is difficult to have any balance. In a blink of an eye, he has been in Shenzhen for seven or eight years, and he is not young. He's already under pressure to start a family. But where to get married? In Shenzhen? Without a Shenzhen hukou, the pressure of unstable work and housing seems unrealistic; Moreover, before coming to Shenzhen, his father laughed at him for not bringing home a girl with a big belly and keeping her at home before she started her career. But it is not easy to find a suitable job back home, and it is impossible to get such a high salary. So, whether to stay or not. High is not low, and it is in a dilemma. It will be full of sadness and I can't see the prospect of life.

But who can blame this?

Everyone who comes to Shenzhen for the first time holds some ideals, so he is determined to learn English well. When I first came to Shenzhen, I made up my mind to learn English well, but after less than a few months, I finally gave up because of boredom. And he and a partner came to work in Shenzhen at the same time. He has a college diploma in real estate, and his partner has only a high school education. At first, they both had the same idea. In Shenzhen, a place of reform and opening up, it is necessary to learn foreign languages well if you want to gain a foothold, so both of them began to study, but he didn't stick it out to the end and got a college degree, so now he is still working in various places in his thirties, struggling for survival; But his companions always insist on self-study for two or three hours every day. In order to learn English well, he was specially hired as a waiter by the only five-star hotel in Shenzhen at that time, Shekou Nanhai Hotel, so as to get in touch with foreigners and practice his spoken English. In this way, two years later, he made some achievements in spoken English, which coincided with the recruitment of warehouse administrators by Amoco Oil Company. He is a warehouse manager, and he can talk in English. Naturally, he was hired. One year later. Their completely different experiences and different endings are all related to whether they take the initiative to work hard.

When I first came to Shenzhen, I warned him many times that I could not seek enjoyment when I came to Shenzhen. You should try to mix the background, at least at this stage, or you will lose the meaning of coming to Shenzhen. He will be excited to listen to me at first, but he will forget it after a long time. Because he had no sense of crisis and his income enabled him to live a more comfortable life, he grew up lazily and did nothing for seven or eight years.

As the saying goes, he who has no long-term worries will have near worries, and his feelings now are exactly what he said. Isn't it all his fault?

Everyone should take full responsibility for his own life, and your present situation is of your own making. Now life is not satisfied and life is not happy. Don't complain If you want to complain, blame yourself. Why not take the initiative? Isn't there anyone around you who started lower than you but eventually succeeded? Compared with them, shouldn't you complain about yourself? God is fair, only pay can be rewarded, and only hard work can finally enjoy life.

Success is really difficult, but you will encounter more difficulties if you don't succeed. Without success, you won't get a good return, and the pressure of survival will surround you. You will worry about countless trivial things every day, your rice bowl, the daily price of vegetables, your partner, and the future of your children. If you get caught up in it every day, you will be troubled and dominated by these troubles; But if you jump out and look high, you will find that as long as you succeed, these troubles will be solved. You can find a nanny for housework, and the price of vegetables is only a few cents, so you don't care. I thought Bill Gates wouldn't bend down to pick up the 100 pound on the ground. Because it took him only a few seconds to pick up 100, which can earn him thousands of pounds.

Success is hard, and it is even harder not to succeed. The difficulty of success is the difficulty of doing great things; The difficulty of being unsuccessful is the difficulty of dealing with trivial matters in life. So, what kind of difficulties do you prefer to face?

In fact, life is a battle. If you are afraid of the battle of life because of timidity and laziness, then refuse the battle of life and go with the flow. Actually, this is useless. You will naturally be forced to take part in the battle of life because of the pressure of survival and the needs of life. As a result, when you passively accept this battle, you are likely to become a loser. You might as well take the initiative to attack, choose a battlefield that is beneficial to you, and fight a real life war of your choice to win.

It is said that there lived a clever old man in the deep mountain. He could predict the future. Some naughty children just miss the old man Doby. They caught a bird, walked up to the old man and asked him, "Can't you predict the future?" Is this bird in my hand dead or alive? "

The old man replied, "If I say the bird is dead, the bird will fly away as soon as your hand is released;" If I say this bird is alive, you will strangle it. The fate of this bird is in your hands. "

The fate of this bird is the fate of our life, in our own hands.

Someone asked me: Do you believe in fate? I said believe in fate. I believe I can create my destiny.

Each of us is the master of our own destiny. Whether our life is a failure or a success, whether it is unknown or dazzling, is entirely our own making.

Nietzsche once warned us that those who are suffering from pain, helplessness and humiliation should not be overwhelmed by inferiority, shame and depression. The only thing you can rely on is yourself, which is the power of your own life.

Speaking of Shenzhen, many people think that the development of Shenzhen occupies a geographical position and has policy advantages. I don't deny it, but I think it is more important that Shenzhen's geographical location and policy advantages have attracted a large number of enthusiastic people, who have created a miracle in Shenzhen.

I specially contacted dozens of self-made billionaires. Although they are engaged in different industries, methods and means, they all have the spirit of hard work, perseverance and indomitable spirit. Each of them has a hard past, a history of hardship, patience and forge ahead that ordinary people can't stand. The reason why they can persist and show great strength from it is precisely because they have a strong desire for success and a heart unwilling to be mediocre. As Nietzsche said, "How can people gain great strength and shoulder great responsibilities?" ? All the virtues and skills of body and spirit are gained for nothing and accumulated bit by bit. We must work tirelessly, exercise self-restraint, be single-minded, persistently repeat the same work and endure the same pain. "

A student once told me his story. He left a deep impression on me on the first day of class. He came with two bodyguards and drove a Mercedes.

"I have no culture and expertise, but I just want to come to Shenzhen. Without a border card, I hid in the trunk of a taxi and got into Shenzhen. After I came to Shenzhen, I escaped from Hong Kong three times and was arrested three times because I couldn't find a job. You will never feel that way in your life. I was penniless when I was locked up in the detention center. At that time, I couldn't bear to swallow a peanut quickly. I had to chew hard and squeeze out every drop of oil.

"Later, I started selling vegetables to people and slept on the stall at night. I'm chaozhou people, and I can't speak vernacular. When I was selling peas, I shouted,' Go to the border, go to the border.' (where to go? Where are you going? Others are selling vegetables, but I am shouting' where to go'. The customers all thought it was interesting, but they came to buy my food. After earning a little money, I went to sell fruit. Because they are sold everywhere, we have to fight guerrilla warfare with urban management people all day. Sometimes I just tried to earn some money, but I didn't burn my hand and was fined again. Especially that time, I just bought a batch of fruits, and suddenly it rained heavily. The fruits were all wet and I couldn't sell them. As a result, it all rotted away and I became poor again. Later, I heard that there were many people in Hong Kong in Xili Lake. I sold incense to make money, so I borrowed some money to sell incense. Sure enough, business is good, and we are beginning to have some money. But I don't want to be a guerrilla hawker anymore. I want to find a facade.

"I went to many places in Shenzhen and found that the overseas Chinese community (the overseas Chinese shop near the Shenzhen Pass) did not sell fruit, so I went to the boss of the overseas Chinese community. I look shabby in slippers. The boss saw me and asked the security guard to kick me out without saying anything. The next day, I put on a decent dress and went to see my boss again. When he tried to kick me out again, I quickly said,' I'll just say one word and leave.' Then I said: there is no fruit seller at the entrance of the Overseas Chinese Society. Some Hong Kong people like mainland fruits. I will set up a stall at the door to attract Hong Kong people. Whether they buy it or not, they will at least go shopping to increase their popularity. The boss listened to me and made no comment. At that time, the boss had a car to and from work, and I rode a bike. So the next day, I bought some fruit and rented a taxi to watch the door. When the boss came home from work, I let the taxi follow. I lost it because there were too many cars, but I didn't give up. The next day I rented a taxi to follow me, and it was not until the fourth day that I finally followed him to his house. When the boss came home and went upstairs, he turned around and saw me. He smiled at me and let me in. The boss told me that he knew that I had been with him for a few days, and dozens of people had looked for him before me, but no one was as persistent as me. It was decided on the spot that I should go tomorrow.

"I finally have a fixed point of sale and the fruit business is also very good. A year later, an old man came to me and said that Hong Kong people like Chinese medicine and it is better to sell Chinese medicine. I don't know Chinese medicine, so I sell Chinese medicine in partnership with the elderly. So business is getting bigger and bigger. Later, when the last food street opened, I had the capital and seized the opportunity to open a restaurant in it. Everyone in Shenzhen knows that the business of Shangbu Food Street is booming all over Shenzhen, and of course I made a profit. Now I have real estate companies and industrial companies under my name ... "

Then he told me that his business was getting bigger and bigger, but he felt that he had no education and it was difficult for the company to develop, so he wanted to learn something and make some knowledgeable friends.

I looked at him who was ugly. Until now, he still looks like an erupting farmer, wearing a fat brand-name suit specially made for "Ghost Guy" and a big Rolex gold watch on his thin wrist. If I don't know him, I will find him tacky and ridiculous. But now I find a strong upward motivation from his poor appearance wrapped in an elegant heart.

A person with no education and seemingly low quality has dominated his own destiny through his own efforts. But there are still more people who are well-educated and show high quality, but they still have to rush about for their lives, and their fate is dominated by others.

If you don't control your own destiny, you will be controlled by others, and controlling your own destiny depends on hard work and struggle. Now everyone says that educated people have no money and uneducated people have money. I've always wanted to explore whether culture restricts making money. Culture does not limit making money, but it has side effects on some people, making them face saving, vain, unwilling to do lowly things and unable to bear hardships.

Success is not easy, but it is not unattainable. The ancients said a long time ago that suffering should build a boat. Eat what ordinary people can't eat and endure what ordinary people can't bear. This is the way to greatness. In fact, behind every brilliant person there is a bitter history of blood and tears. It's just that the aura of their success covers everything, so that you can't see the shadow behind them. People only admire and admire them, but they don't know the price they pay for it. Maybe you have to do it again according to their experience, and you don't want to.

When a friend of the famous British marshal Lefebvre praised his wealth and good luck, the marshal replied, "Are you jealous of me?" ? You can get my wealth at a cheaper price than me. Go into the yard: I'll take a pistol and shoot you 20 times from 30 paces away. If I can't kill you, then all my property is yours ...? Don't you want to? Good, then, please remember that I achieved the success you have found now in the rain of bullets and the death of my birth. I have at least taken the risk of being shot by the enemy at a closer distance 1 time or more. "Now many people say that I am cost-effective and have written a bestseller, just like opening a current passbook in a bank. In fact, people only notice my gains after writing a book, but they don't know the price I paid for running classes, giving lectures and writing books. In fact, which successful person has never paid the price?

Of course, some people's success is easy, but most people's success has gone through hardships. The success of the former person has no stamina, and the success of the latter person is lasting. Because their success is not only in their careers, but more importantly in their "people"-they are trained. What's more, what is easy to get is tasteless, and only by working hard will there be refreshing comfort.

I think if everything goes well for everyone, there will be gold, flowers and delicious food everywhere. You can reach out and open your mouth, and you don't need to work hard. How boring the world is. Maybe everyone will go crazy in the end.

Therefore, Mencius has long said: If Heaven wants to demote Sri Lanka, it must first suffer its mind, train its bones and muscles, starve its body and skin, and do what it can't do, so it can't be patient.

The generation that suffered the most in our country is people in their forties and fifties, and all the misfortunes have been caught up by them. Growing up for three years is a natural disaster. Studying in the countryside, getting married and catching up with family planning, 40-year-old youth is gone and laid off. It's really unfortunate. Therefore, many people just "wash and sleep" and pass the day after day when they are in their prime and middle age.

Their unfortunate society is responsible, but they are also responsible.

CCTV once broadcast a story about Aloe King.

Is a middle-aged laid-off female worker whose husband left her. She takes her daughter alone and has no financial resources at all. I accidentally heard on TV that aloe vera has the miraculous effect of beauty treatment, so I decided to plant aloe vera.

She borrowed a sum of money from her parents, took her daughter to a remote country and contracted a piece of land. It is conceivable that it is difficult for a middle-aged woman who knows nothing about farm work to grow aloe. As we don't have much money, we can't hire workers, so we have to do all the hard work ourselves. Just to dig a canal, a strong man will be exhausted by physical labor, and she is a woman who has just gritted her teeth.

But hard work does not necessarily pay off. Aloe doesn't grow well because it doesn't know the habits of aloe at all. So, she began to learn agricultural knowledge again and went far away to consult experts. In this way, I will work hard during the day and take care of my daughter at night. My daughter is asleep, but she still can't sleep. She had to burn the midnight oil and memorize agricultural knowledge. A spoiled woman who grew up in Beijing, seeing her on TV, looks like a village woman, with dark skin and strong body, which is the testimony of her hard work for several years.

She couldn't stop crying when she talked about the hardships. Once the light at home was broken, she and her daughter climbed onto the stool, and her daughter was holding it below. She changed it on it, but it wasn't high enough. The daughter is afraid of falling from her mother, and the mother is afraid of falling and hitting her daughter. In desperation, the mother and daughter burst into tears. Finally, the neighbor uncle heard the cry and came to help change it.

When I first heard the stories of successful people, tears filled my eyes from beginning to end. She now grows hundreds of thousands of aloe vera plants, worth millions of yuan. She is a veritable aloe vera king, but I still feel sorry for her.

The environment is indeed important, but it is oneself who plays a decisive role in fate. Layoff is a painful thing, but as long as it is handled well, it may become a turning point in life. Middle-aged people have homes and houses. In the warmth of family life, their fighting spirit has gradually faded. Suddenly laid off at this time, often at a loss. Actually, water under the bridge. Why don't you pull yourself together and try again? Although you are old, you are more experienced than young people.

Everyone is the architect of his own destiny. You failed only because you didn't work hard enough; You succeed only because you work hard.

When I met beggars before, I never understood: how can people give up their dignity and become parasites, instead of the sacred force that can change their destiny in life?

Later, I betrayed myself. Am I not a beggar too? In fact, many of us are beggars, beggars of fate.

We always obey the environment and fate, never thinking about hard work, never thinking about struggle, even never thinking about it, but in the end we succumb to the environment and fate and become the lamb of fate. We don't make progress, we don't make progress, and we always beg for the good arrangement of fate. What's the difference between this and beggars? This is a spiritual beggar.

People long for enjoyment, not change, but fate. People are just begging, but they don't know how to take and make. Destiny has no kindness, it will not give alms to the weak, and it will obey you only if you try to conquer it and dominate it.

Who do women hate most? Iron filings said to the magnet, "I hate you the most, because you are attractive, but not strong enough to attract me to attach myself to you."

Gu Long also said: A woman is like a deer, always jumping in front of you, but only a brave person can keep its tilt angle.

This woman is actually our destiny.

Most people are controlled by life, not by life.

In fact, to measure a society's sense of superiority, I think it depends largely on whether this society can let more people control their own destiny through personal efforts.

A long time ago, the eggs laid by an eagle were blown into the henhouse by the strong wind. The old hen hatched this egg with other eggs, and the baby eagle began to live among the chickens. The baby eagle grew up in a flock of chickens. Not only did it walk like a chicken, but all the chickens laughed at it: Look how ugly you are, with a thin neck and long legs. Kitty is also very inferior. It only dreams that one day it can fly on the fence and crow like a rooster.

One day, he went out alone and got lost. Then an eagle flew in. The baby eagle asked in fear, "Who are you?"

"I am an eagle." The eagle asked, "Who are you?"

Kitty replied, "I am a chicken."

The eagle said, "No, you are not a chicken. You are an eagle. "

The baby eagle said, "I am really a chicken." I grew up in a flock of chickens. "

The eagle said, "You look like me. We have the same long legs and the same thin neck. You are an eagle. You should fly like me. "

From then on, the eagle began to learn to fly from the eagle, and finally one day the eagle flew into the blue sky.

In fact, each of us is a fallen eagle among chickens. If you don't fly into the blue sky, other chickens will laugh at you as the ugliest chicken. You should fly to the blue sky with your wings, that's your real destination.

Key points:

Everyone is the architect of his own destiny.