Marriage Customs in Mudan District of Heze

Discussion on Marriage It is common for men to marry women in Heze area, and the marriage relationship is relatively stable. In the past, few men and women married and fell in love freely. Most of them are arranged by their parents and get married through the media, which is the so-called "parents' orders, matchmakers' words." Marriage negotiation is that the matchmaker runs back and forth between the parents of both parties to discuss and conclude a marriage relationship. The matchmaker is temporary and professional. Professional matchmakers are mostly middle-aged women with clever mouth, commonly known as "matchmakers". They are well-informed, well-informed, and accept thank-you gifts from matchmakers. When the matchmaker talks about marriage, she first asks her intention orally. When it is not allowed, it is usually just a euphemism. As the saying goes, "a woman wants everything", you can refuse, but you can't offend the matchmaker. If the two parties can get married, then it is usually the man who comes forward to formally discuss the betrothal with the matchmaker.

In the old society of marriage, the custom of early marriage was very popular. Generally, men get married at the age of 15- 16, and some even get married at the age of 18 and 20. Early marriage is mostly because women are longer than men, generally seven or eight years apart. 1950 marriage law stipulates that the age of marriage is not less than 20 years for men and not less than 18 years for women. 1980 the marriage law stipulates that the age of marriage is 22 for men and 20 for women. Because the government advocates late marriage, the actual age of marriage is 25 for men and 23 for women. Marriage age is different, usually one year before marriage, but in the old society, there are also phenomena such as pointing to the belly for marriage, dolls being friendly to child brides and so on.

Shaken, also known as "opening name", "changing stickers", "changing books" and "changing fine print", is a formal engagement document. The post reads "the eldest son (second son) of an in-laws" and the zodiac in red paper, and is sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker; The woman's family replied that "posting is allowed", and the post said "the eldest (second) daughter of an in-law" and the zodiac, which were sent to the man's family by the matchmaker. This is a small post. A poor family, with only a small sticker, will be fixed for life. Rich people want to change big stickers, which is also called passing on Cambodia. Cambodian stickers are made by folding a rectangular piece of red paper in half, commonly known as "four Cambodia". The words "a red rope is a good match, a hundred years are good" and "respect a promise" are written on the post, which was sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker in the morning; The woman's family printed the words "Guanghan Palace Hall" and "Yang answers your life" on the envelope in Cambodia. After breakfast, the matchmaker sent it to the man's house. At noon that day, the man will hold a banquet to entertain the matchmaker and the woman's guests. Change a big sticker and it will be fixed for life. You can't go back on your word if you tie the red rope.

Choosing good luck is commonly known as "being a good person". The man sent someone to the woman's house to ask her birthday. Generally, the woman refused for the first time and the second time to show that she was unwilling to marry her daughter in order to raise her social status, and she agreed for the third time. After retrieving the birthday, the man asked the fortune teller to choose the wedding date according to the birthday. After the auspicious day is set, write a wedding list, indicate the matters needing attention when getting married, take the clothes and jewelry to the woman's house, and ask her to return the fan, waist towel and so on. And attach a bag of bran and a bag of salt, which means "husband and wife are predestined friends."

On the day before the wedding, the man's family should put up couplets, clean up the new house and add sheets. In the afternoon, the groom should worship the ancestors first, and then the elders and neighbors. At 0: 00 on the wedding day, those who get married go first. The rich use sedan chairs or cars, and ordinary people use ox carts and carriages, tied with "flapping" (arched hoods), with red carpets hanging at the front end and cloth pieces hanging at the back end. In the car, they must be fully equipped (husband and wife, children complete), and bring a rooster and a boy (commonly known as "cock crower"). In return, the woman's family needs a hen and a boy called "the one with the door curtain". Both parents should give lucky money to boys, and men often give more money than women.

Before the bride gets on the sedan chair (car), she is called "adult" by wearing a head, a face and a wedding dress. After completion, the bride will fire a gun to "urge the driver", usually three times. At this time, the bride will cry bitterly, indicating that she can't bear to be separated from her parents. Avoid taboos and pay attention to the direction when getting on the sedan chair (car).

The dowry should be taken away by the man's family in advance, or sent by the family in advance. The amount of dowry depends on the financial situation of the woman's family. Generally, it is divided into junior, junior, senior, junior, senior, senior, junior, senior and full dowry. Some poor families only have one cabinet or box, and some don't even have a cabinet, only a flower bag to wrap clothes.

Avoid going the same way when you get married. Generally, it goes east and west. If you encounter wells, stones, temples, cemeteries and intersections, you must set off firecrackers or cover them with red blankets.

Usually around four o'clock in the morning, the bride comes to the door of the man's house, and two older girls come out with trays with wine and a red paper-sealed admission ceremony (money). Then a "well-equipped" woman turns around the bride's sedan chair (car) with a torch three times to show the evil of expelling Lu Yu. After getting off the bus, the bride sat in a chair, was carried to the yard, and stood on the red carpet with the groom to worship heaven and earth. One worships heaven and earth, the other worships Gaotang, and three couples worship each other. Then the bride walked from the red carpet into the bridal chamber.

There is a bright lamp in the bridal chamber, commonly known as "longevity lamp". Married women use a scale to pick up the bride's blush, and the bride and groom line up. Ceremony ",drink" heart-to-heart wine "and the wedding will be completed.

In Liangshan, Yuncheng and Juancheng areas, people usually get married after breakfast in the morning and go home at eleven or twelve noon, only in the evening when they marry widows.

Within three days of marriage, men, women and children can go to the bridal chamber to make trouble. In the evening, the neighbors began to listen to the room. If no one is listening in the room, put a broom under the window or by the door instead of them.

On the morning of the third day after marriage, the bride got up early to worship her in-laws and her elders after breakfast. All worshippers must give money and wrap it in red paper. This is the bride's savings.

For three days, the bride and groom went to the bride's house together, which was commonly known as "returning to the door" and "visiting" in ancient times. When returning home, the groom is led by experienced people, commonly known as "helping guests", to prevent the groom from being rude and afraid of getting into trouble with her husband. On this day, the woman's family held a grand banquet for each other and invited her uncle, uncle and uncle to accompany her. The new husband took the lead and monopolized the party. When a newlywed husband comes to his father-in-law's house, he should worship his family tree or god first, then his parents-in-law, and then sit down. In front of the new husband, he should put a pair of cups and chopsticks. When eating hi-noodles, my father-in-law gives money to the groom with red paper, commonly known as "noodle-wringing ceremony". When the groom comes home, the woman always keeps the gift. If she takes some, she will surely get a better return. After the bride comes back, she can take part in the daily work of the family.

Poor families, simple weddings, and very poor people often bring a young girl to the man's house, commonly known as a "child bride", and then hold a wedding when they reach marriageable age.

In the old society, it was considered a shame for widows to remarry. They were not chaste. Rogues often seize the opportunity after hearing the news, so widows remarry more than at night, and the etiquette is simple.

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the State Council promulgated the Marriage Law, abolished the feudal marriage system, stipulated that young men and women must be masters of their own affairs, advocated free love, and chose their own partners. Some of them are introduced by intermediaries, but the decision is up to me. At present, in the vast rural areas of Heze, the way of engagement is that young men and women are introduced through intermediaries, and then meet and talk with each other with the consent of both parents. Exchange gifts if you have no opinions, and then get engaged in name (also called changing stickers). Before marriage, both men and women agree on the date of marriage, go through the marriage registration formalities with the civil affairs department of the grass-roots government together, and then hold the wedding. In 1950s, the wedding ceremony was greatly simplified, and the wedding dress was a new common style. Many newlyweds go home together after completing the marriage registration formalities. In the 1960s, it was popular for a woman to go to her husband's house accompanied by three or five partners. The man organized people to beat gongs and drums on the road to greet her, and then held a wedding when she got home. One or two days after marriage, she took part in collective productive labor. In the 1970s, when getting married, the man organized a group of twenty young men and women to ride new bicycles and wear red flowers on their chests to take the bride back to the woman's house, and then held a simple wedding after returning home. In the 1980s, cities got married and began to use cars. The bride went to the barber shop the afternoon before to freshen up. Most of the wedding dresses were red, and some were white. In the countryside, a tractor is used to greet the bride, and then a wedding is held. In cities, more and more young men and women hold "travel weddings" after completing the marriage registration procedures. In order to change customs and celebrate new occasions, many local governments or institutions in urban and rural areas of Heze will hold collective weddings for more than two newlyweds. At the meeting, representatives of the government, the Women's Federation and the Youth League Committee all came to congratulate, and representatives of newlyweds and parents also came to thank them. Firecrackers exploded and applause spread everywhere, creating a new style.