Find an interesting joke

1 Take the bus this morning. A mother and daughter behind me are talking. Her mother was testing her and said, "We have 20 apples at home. You ate five. How many? " The little girl thought for a moment and said, "15." After a while, the little girl said to her mother, "Mom, I have a question for you, too. I have ten fingers. My father cut me two, and the teacher cut me one. How many fingers do I have? " ....

Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and the children will live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child!

The centipede was bitten by a snake, so it must be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs ~! ! The doctor comforted him, brother, relax, and you will be an earthworm in the future.

Yesterday, NPC deputies walked the red carpet, and Shi Yongxin, NPC deputy and abbot of Shaolin Temple, was surrounded by reporters, throwing out all kinds of questions, but he only whispered "Amitabha". I don't know who shouted "Master, use lightness skill".

The doctor asked the injured patient how he got hurt. Patient: I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fool thought I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and hit me hard.

Just after passing a square, I heard a man and a woman singing love: "Find a friend … find a girlfriend … kiss and hold hands … have a baby tonight …" I never knew there was this version …

Lao Wang went upstairs and broke a leg. After putting on the plaster, the doctor was told not to climb the stairs until the plaster was removed. A month later, the doctor removed the cast and said that he was recovering well. Lao Wang said, "Oh, great. Can I take the stairs now? " The doctor said, "OK, but you should be careful." "What a relief," sighed Lao Wang. "It's really troublesome to climb up and down the sewer outside every day these days!"

Two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.

When a girl saw a boy sleeping in class, she sent a text message to her boyfriend: The boy next to me slept like a dead pig, and his mouth watered all over. How funny! As a result, her boyfriend didn't receive the news until midnight because of the bad internet. . .

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. " Man: "I want a wife ..." The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdained to say: "I am starving and covet beauty! Pathetic! " Then he disappeared. Man: "... cake."

1 1A: "I played chess with your father before. Once, your father had only one elephant left, and I had only one scholar left. So, I suggested that elephants and people cross the river, and your father agreed. Your father will use his image as me, and I will use your father. Your father used his image as me again, so I used your father again. Your father is like me and I am like your father. Your father is like me, and I am your father. B: Get out!

12 company after work, several computers got together to fight the landlord, and the water dispenser also played. He loses every time, but he still insists on taking part every day. The sofa didn't understand, so she asked the chair, "The water dispenser is lost every day. Why are you still playing so hard? " ? The chairman said, "Are you out of your mind to ask such a question?

13 A gecko got lost in front of a securities company when a crocodile just climbed up and tried to eat it. In desperation, the little gecko hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted, "Mom!" " Crocodile is stupefied, immediately burst into tears: "Son, you've just been trading stocks for half a month and you're so thin?" ! "

14 The ant saw the elephant swimming and said, Come up! The elephant climbed up, and the ant looked at it and said, get down! Elephant Anger: What are you doing? The ant said, nothing. I lost my swimming trunks. Let's see if you're wearing it.

15 men can't find a girlfriend, so they have to tell their fortune. Fortune teller: You are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: what about the second half? The fortune teller said: You will get used to it for the rest of your life.

16 Xiaoren said to Xiaoyang: I found ten dollars at the corner of the lane. Xiao Yang: It must be the one I dropped yesterday. Xiao Ren: But I found two fives! Xiao Yang: I must have broken it when I fell.

17 A man swallowed an artificial eye by mistake and finally got stuck in the anus, so he went to the hospital. After the old doctor saw it, he had a heart attack and fainted on the spot. When he died, he said: I have looked at my ass all my life, but I didn't expect to be looked at by it at last. . .

18 A tortoise ran over a snail and the snail was sent to first aid. After he regained consciousness, the police asked about him. The snail replied, I don't remember. He was too fast. ...

19 by plane, a father and daughter. The father is 30 years old and the daughter is 6 to 7 years old. The stewardess is very beautiful, and my father can't help looking at her a few more times. Daughter: "What are you looking at? Do you find it interesting? Why did you do this when my mother was away? " Father blushed: "eat quickly and cut the crap, or I won't take you out in the future!" " My daughter mumbled, "I don't understand. My daughter was my father's lover in his last life. How did I see you in my last life? "

Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to suck blood. God: Then reincarnate as a nurse.